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Marriage Proposal advice

  • 04-04-2023 7:27pm
    #1
    pauloz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19 ✭


    Hi All,

    My partner is likely to propose to me this year. I know this because we’ve discussed it.

    We are both men and I’ve always made a point of saying I’ll be the one proposed to, mostly in a joking way.

    So, the thing is I think it’d be a nice surprise for me to propose to him as he will not be expecting it.

    I guess the advice I’m looking for is:

    1. is it ok for me to do it as I wouldn’t want him to be disappointed with the fact that he didn’t get to do it?
    2. what if he has a ring bought?
    3. i know it will be sometime after June at least but not sure when. How can I make sure I get in before him?
    4. he said he will be talking to my mum before he does it, should I tell her my plan and ask her to give me a heads up, but conscious that I don’t want to ruin the surprise for her either.


    Any advice is much appreciated.



Comments

  • #2
    Captain Flaps
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,834 ✭✭✭Captain Flaps


    removed double post



  • #3
    dobman88
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,539 ✭✭✭dobman88


    It sounds like a terrible idea and is bordering on playing mind games from what you've written.

    Even "mostly in a joking way" you've said you want to be proposed to. He has probably already got the wheels in motion with regards to buying a ring and thinking about the right time etc.

    Only you know how your partner will react and he may see the funny side but if it goes wrong, it'll go very wrong so may not be worth the risk.

    Personally, I'd leave it and go with what you've already clearly said about him proposing to you instead of trying to gazump what will be a pretty big moment for him.



  • #4
    Mellor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 39,900 ✭✭✭✭Mellor


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058291114/marriage-proposal-advice
    1. That really depends on your personal relationship. Nobody here can answer for you. In hetro-realtionship, some men would not appreciated it proposed to, others would not care. That applies even more broadly to a homo-relationship. Nobody here can tell you the inner workings of your relationship.
    2. Will you wear an engagement ring? If the answer is yes, then you'll need one regardless of who proposes. You need to consider if he will.
    3. Not being funny, but if you know its after June, the only way you can be sure is to do it before June.
    4. I think this part is awful. Asking her to tell you is putting her in an awful position where she needs to betray her SILs trust. Don't. If you want to propose, then proposed. You should be speaking to his family not your own. If he speaks to you family first, you've likely be beaten to it.




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