Is it right to tell women they're attractive?

slither12

I saw a post on mumsnet of a mother who said that she realized her 16yr old daughter was not as conventionally attractive as other girls in the class but emphasized other traits in her like being hard working and athletic.

It sparked some debate but really made me think. I've always disliked the idea that "everyone is beautiful/attractive". It's just not true. Even if beauty is to a certain degree subjective, there are traits which will always be preferred over others i.e. taller men, women with long healthy hair

I think it's better to tell women/young girls that beauty is not everything. You may not be considered attractive by society but you're still worth something. In the same way, we'd never tell someone who was sad they weren't an athlete, that everyone is athletic in their own way or everyone is smart in their own way.

SpacedCharr

As a girl ages, her market value decreases, and often fairly rapidly.

A woman's market value is at her highest between the ages of 16 and 25 (possibly up to 30 if she really takes care of herself and is lucky). During this age range, women are at their most attractive to men. They can rely on their looks to attract guys.

As a women reaches 30 and beyond, her market value rapidly decreases and she becomes less attractive to men.

Contrast this with how men age and what ageing means to a man's market value.... As a guy gets older, his market value increases.

A young guy in his late teens or 20s is not yet at his most attractive to women. He is still seen as a 'boy' and not a man yet.

As a man gets towards 30, his market value rapidly increases. He starts to look more manly in his appearance, and he starts to act more manly in his personality because he is maturing. Often, he has more career and financial success too. All these traits increase his market value and therefore his attractiveness towards women.

Hermy

Market value?

What an odd way to view people - as mere commodities.

amacca

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120430875#Comment_120430875

In fairness its not a completely off the wall way of looking at it, there are somewhat accurate points in that post if you ask me, it does kind of remind me of/behave like a market at times. Just not one where the only thing you can use as currency is what's in your wallet.

As long as it doesn't cause bitterness some people might benefit from viewing it that way...then again it might really mess with other peoples heads.

Id question the age ranges and add that often if you are unattractive at 20 then you might still be relatively unattractive to the general population at 30etc regardless of how confident you've become or what level of economic success you've had...you might be however be more attractive to the wrong kind of person.

Hermy

It just seems like a retrograde step in a thread about whether it's right to tell women they're attractive that the response is to discuss at length their market value.