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What would you do if you were dictator of Ireland?

  • 13-02-2023 6:00am
    Registered Users Posts: 60 ✭✭

    I would ban access you YouTube, Twitter, TikTok and instagram thereby removing the platform from influencers.

    I would ban the sale, import, transportation or production of fake tan.

    I would ban reality television, love island etc.

    I would ban Mrs. Brown’s Boys.

    I would remove all prose, poetry, etc from the Irish syllabus and focus solely on speaking the language. If that still doesn’t work I’d simply let it die a death.

    I’d abolish the unfair rule whereby people who answer their LC paper in Irish get 10% extra.

    I would ban e scooters and Fido bikes and make it compulsory to drive over anyone on one.

    I would introduce a secret police. The presence of a secret police (secret in terms of the individual members and not the organisation itself) would be a great deterrent against crime.

    I would abolish inheritance tax.

    I would save money by slashing foreign aid, stop paying dole and welfare to non-Irish citizens, smash the public sector unions, abolish DB pensions in the PS, defund ridiculous organisations like pavee point and NWCI.

    I would still allow some elected individuals so I can gauge public opinion but I would still have overall final say. I would not entertain gender quotas and I would ban election posters.

    Burning at the stake for people who litter.

    Post edited by Qŵèrþÿ on



  • Registered Users Posts: 60 ✭✭Qŵèrþÿ

    More to follow

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,375 ✭✭✭Rosahane

    Ban GAA football so the good kids would play rugby and we would be the top rugby nation in the world.

    I’d leave hurling for the loonies and soccer for the softies 😂

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    id Build solid infrastructure, (what have done lately?)

    im in France at the minute and decided a proper underground rail system cannot be built from scratch in a nation that has health and safety processes and no slave labour for less than 10 trillion

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,121 ✭✭✭screamer

    I’d ban and disband all trade unions

    make a 4 day work week compulsary

    id introduce a scheme to front the cost of house deposits to first time buyers, and recoup it from their tax credits over their working lifetime or take a stake in the house

    id lift the restrictions on building houses in the countryside

    I’d provide free buses for kids for school in all areas and I’d tax parents a congestion tax who want to drop them to school in cars

    escooters would need a licence and insurance to be taken on roads and footpaths or else limit them to a very low speed

    id make a law that any politicians who are found guilty of misconduct in office have no pension.

    no dole payments unless you work for it. I’d pay the dole money to the employers and they can top it up, but no long term layabouts tolerated

    Free childcare for workers

    widen the tax base and everyone would pay some tax

    ban data centre building

    invest in hydrogen generation

    replace the points system for third level and overhaul the apprenticeship programs so that colleges are responsible for the trainees so that employers can’t take advantage of them, and dump them in third year.

    reform road tax to be based on car value much like property tax

    overhaul the refugee program and have faster decision making. Anyone who comes in with no papers goes into direct provision centres, and are processed faster, and returned to port of origin if they don’t qualify. Economic migrants turned back unless they have visas, and I’d overhaul the rules about bringing in their families once granted asylum too. Any of them break the law, back they go

    id outsource our prison services to some hell hole country and send the worst offenders there to complete their sentences.

    Airline travel would be limited to a certain air mile quota every year per person, above that a nice hefty tax to offset emissions

  • Registered Users Posts: 195 ✭✭FoxForce5

    Make Enoch burke minister for education.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 653 ✭✭✭foxsake

    apart from the fax tan ban , i'm kinda all in here with the support

    I like fake fan on an irish cailin - of course there are disasters but overall it's nice.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,102 ✭✭✭KaneToad

    I'd increase inheritance tax.

    Also, OP, you don't currently get 10% extra for doing a LC through Irish...

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    Invade England to liberate Scotland & Wales.

    Find anyone who either asks "what would you do if you were dictator or Ireland?" Or anyone who considers any answer bar "there should be no dictator"...

    And kill them.

    There can be only one.

    Last Rat.

    Post edited by [Deleted User] on

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,630 ✭✭✭amacca

    I'd put a lot of solicitors etc out of business by actually punishing crime, particularly repeat offenders, in a way that really is a deterrent.......

    Judge Nolan would be shot out of a cannon into the Irish sea repeatedly until he stopped coming back.

    Re-election as a politician would have a lot to do with achieving some sort of incremental improvement within your brief as measured by a realistic metric/ would renumeration and pension entitlements (which would be very generous)

    The insurance industry would be brought to heel somehow.

    Wouldn't be long till there would be a bloody coup and I'd be shot out of a cannon.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,316 ✭✭✭XsApollo

    Remove any type of social welfare for reoffending criminals, they should be made work for local councils to receive it.

    mandatory Jail sentences for re offenders also.

    tougher mandatory sentences for more serious offences.

    Mandatory life sentences / death penalty for convicted child abusers, peadophiles and murderers

    reform the HSE( not a dig at front line staff ) it’s a money pit and highly inefficient , everybody in the service would benefit for improving it.

    remove the ethnic minority status of travellers, sure they can live their lives as they see fit within the laws of this country.

    lower the age that people can be tried as adults, especially for reoffending and more serious crimes.

    parents should bear some responsibility for the actions of their children and as such can be made do time or fined as a result.

    abolish inheritance tax.

    reform the social welfare, higher pension payments and lower payments to people that don’t contribute.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,693 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa

    I’d probably just leave things the way they are, it’s grand really.

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    I'd change the title of TD to Tiddy and leave everything else as is.

  • Registered Users Posts: 12,901 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx

    Halve the number of national politicians. Absolutely no need for so many TD’s and Senators. Redraw county borders to make counties more or less similar in area and population. , then give each one the power to raise their own taxes for roads, infrastructure etc. This probably means splitting Dublin up .Arm Gardaí . Allow Judges to be sacked or removed if they are nuts . Reform the sentencing system so if you do the crime you actually do time . Build a new prison in Athlone .Create a new national security force that has full powers to do what I decide. Unite Ireland and the Scottish Highlands and Islands in a pan gaelic country, seizing the nuclear weapons in Scotland. Taking back Rockall . Reintroduce deer and rabbits to the countryside . A life sentence of hard labour for anyone who doubts the existence and primacy of Monaghan

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    Vindicate all conspiracy theorists by sending them to a firing squad. This new government really is out to get you.

  • Registered Users Posts: 16,009 ✭✭✭✭Grayson

    Each week words beginning with a particular letter of the alphabet are banned. The letter will be chosen every Sunday night from a big lotto type machine. From 12:01 am Monday morning words starting with that letter are illegal to be typed, written or spoken out loud.

  • Registered Users Posts: 618 ✭✭✭Photobox

    Ban electronic scooters

  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 6,881 Mod ✭✭✭✭Raichu

    Always felt you had to be either mad in your head or brave as all hell to play hurling tbh

    like the whack I’ve seen some poor fcukers get of a hurl and they barely seem bothered.. how?😂

  • Registered Users Posts: 618 ✭✭✭Photobox

    Edit.. See its already mentioned unsurprisingly

  • Registered Users Posts: 404 ✭✭Hungry Burger

    I’d get rid of the county’s.

    The four provinces would get their own devolved parliaments and county lines wouldn’t serve any official purpose.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,164 ✭✭✭Ubbquittious

    I'd remove the barriers to housebuilding (planning, local needs, etc) and solve the housing crisis for once and for all. I'd then committee identify a list of populist measures I could drip feed while in power. Being a dictator wouldn't be easy, within moments of being installed as dictator the EU will make a move to kick Ireland out since dictatorships aren't allowed in the EU. Dictators may have a lot of power but they can still be deposed. A lot of dictators resort to brutality and suppression of civil liberties to cling onto power but I reckon that is only a fool's game and not a viable long term strategy to stay in power.

    I reckon with the right amount of dripfeeding of populist measures I would be able to cling onto power without needing riot police to regularly bate the sh1te out of people or have secret agents toss my enemies from windows. What remains to be seen is would it be enough to quell the dissent from the fallout of Ireland becoming a dictatorship (kicked out of EU, megacorps leaving). Where a lot of dictators go wrong is they implement a whole raft of measures at the start followed by a prolonged period of sitting idle, having big palaces with swimming pools built for themselves and generally being useless. Therefore I think it is essential to come out with at least one populist measure every couple of months to placate the baying mob.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭paul71

    I would abdicate before I was killed.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,280 ✭✭✭dunnerc

    Split Kerry in 2 😁

  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 36,787 CMod ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha

    Make Irish optional, abolish the TV licence fee or ban ads on RTE, loosen planning restrictions around housing, force councils to build or permit social housing and legalise weed. I'd have to go a bit mad at some point though and make it illegal to wake a sleeping cat, subsidise cat food, vets and so on. Cats are awesome.

    We sat again for an hour and a half discussing maps and figures and always getting back to that most damnable creation of the perverted ingenuity of man - the County of Tyrone.

    H. H. Asquith

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    People who let their dog shît on the street and in parks and who don’t clean up after them should be fined thousands of euros, named and shamed on, and have their pet taken off them.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,472 ✭✭✭GerardKeating

    I'd give more that that for doing the leaving through Irish, also it would be a prerequisiting for any Gaelteacht grants that all the kids in the family would be fully educated throught irish.

    Maybe more that four regional parliments,

    • Mallow (for Cork/Kerry)
    • Limerick (for Clare/Limerick/Tipp)
    • Galway (for Galway/Mayo/Roscommom
    • Sligo (for Sligo/Leitrim/Donegal)
    • Kilkenny (for South Leinster)
    • Swords (for North Dublin)
    • Tallaght (for the south side)
    • Dun laoghaire
    • Dublin (for the past not in Swords/Tallaght/Dun laoghaire)
    • Athlone (for the Midlands)
    • Navan (for North Leinster & Cavan/Monaghans)

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,472 ✭✭✭GerardKeating

    To be pedantic, they are already banned, just it not enforce.I think snipers would have a good enforcement method

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,472 ✭✭✭GerardKeating

    Might be more effective to smear it on thier face or make them swallow it. Some people have no shame and deep pockets.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,472 ✭✭✭GerardKeating

    and merge one half into Limerick, and there other half into Cork.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 13,480 ✭✭✭✭Hello 2D Person Below

    Ban private health insurance.