Why is it always the woman giving out?

pgj2015 · 29-01-2023 11:25am #1

I work nights a lot and get to observe the general public after they have had a few drinks.

Every night you will see couples having a big argument, 100% of the time its the woman who seems to have a problem with something the man did. I have never seen it the other way around.

EmmetSpiceland · 29-01-2023 11:32am

At a guess, I’d say they have more to give out about.

pgj2015 · 29-01-2023 11:54am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120172794#Comment_120172794

I don't think so, women do as much stupid annoying things when out drinking. I remember being out with an ex and she started telling the taxi driver how great her ex was, thats the kind of $hit women would go crazy over if the other way around.

29-01-2023 11:56am

Men and women are very different and those differences should be celebrated rather than pretending we’re the same

Ubbquittious · 29-01-2023 11:58am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120172894#Comment_120172894

Should we celebrate the giving out?

cnocbui · 29-01-2023 12:01pm

Women initiate divorces far more than men, so one shouldn't be surprised.

whisky_galore · 29-01-2023 12:23pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120172915#Comment_120172915

That follows that they make more bad choices of partner.

silverharp · 29-01-2023 12:35pm

I dont argue with women or children

Donald Trump · 29-01-2023 12:38pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120172988#Comment_120172988

Or maybe they already have what they want out of the relationship.

Donald Trump · 29-01-2023 12:39pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058281886/why-is-it-always-the-woman-giving-out

It's the man's fault anyway

For letting them out of the kitchen

/runs away

Count Dracula · 29-01-2023 2:11pm

Choose wisely.

The reason women are to be found screeching profanities at their loved ones can be encapsulated into their frustrated value system, which has eventually evaluated, that their partners direction on how tonight's activities proceeded, returned at a deficit to how he she had anticipated his earlier announced declarations eventually transpired....

In brief, the crap he told her about what was happening that night never amounted to anything and all the money, time and effort she invested in his notions has resulted in her standing full bladdered and hungry, on the side of a cold Irish street in the middle of the night, having spent the previous 3 hours sharing the same toilet seat with potentially 400 other disillusioned females, who are all now in active competition for the limited options available to get home again, where they are to be expected to make love amorously, to the same person who spent the last 4 hours, not engaging in any form of conversation with them, whilst either laughing in hysterics with his pals, some of which she is naturally incompatible with in any way possible, or leering inappropriately at other females, some of which could actually be her friends, with whom her partner was not actually aware existed until she had made his acquaintance, which she is now beginning to regret entirely.

BrianD3 · 29-01-2023 2:17pm

From a woman's pov, most men are not physically attractive, particularly accomplished or "badass" - yet many of these men have partners. The conclusion is that women are settling which is a recipe for resentment and frustration. Add in alcohol and frustration comes out over something trivial.

Also, in a sausage fest environment like a pub, there will likely be some men there who are taller, better looking and more muscular than her partner, increasing her frustration. There may be male bouncers who have more situational and physical power than her partner.

Add to this how it is socially acceptable for a woman to berate a man in public. If it's the other way around, there will be pathetic white knights jumping in.

Mister Vain · 29-01-2023 3:07pm

It always seems to be the man that ends up in the dog house afterwards too. Is there a dog house for women?

Day Lewin · 29-01-2023 3:19pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120173627#Comment_120173627

There should be.

Some people are just natural-born whingers, but they shouldn't be given too much airtime. Just depresses everyone.

Think positive, happy, be jolly! Life is short, try it all!

Ah thanks, I'll have another gin and tonic...

anewme · 29-01-2023 3:50pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120173714#Comment_120173714

Thread is ironic given that it’s almost wall to wall natural born whingers, none of which are women.

Even a few conspiracy theorists, who think the arguments must be because of the quality of the bouncers in the pub.

Poor, poor men, as op says, 100 percent of people giving out are women. Always women giving out to men.Men have it soooo hard.

If you listen closely, you can even hear the worlds smallest violin playing…

pgj2015 · 29-01-2023 4:49pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120173453#Comment_120173453

Are you saying most men are ugly and most women are stunners? Id say its 50/50, at least men dont use make up to hide the fact they might be ugly.

Donald Trump · 29-01-2023 5:06pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120173453#Comment_120173453

Speak for yourself and your dog-faced buddies. I'm only a bleedin' ride.

29-01-2023 6:53pm

As women we should acknowledge these things instead of being defensive, because it's true. It's more acceptable and commonplace for a woman to publicly verbally abuse her male partner than the other way around (which people would be more shocked by, let's face it). I can't stand women who act in that aggressive, controlling way - it's undermining, humiliating, and at worst, abusive. It also gives misogynists excellent fodder.

However, "From a woman's point of view" - post by a man. How the heck does that work? And men who intervene when a man is yelling at a woman are not "pathetic white knights" (a term for those looking for a ride) - they're decent guys who don't like seeing bullying. Yes I agree, it's less likely when a woman is giving a man a bollocking, but it doesn't mean it deserves to be sneered at. The attitude that men being yelled at by women is no big deal, doesn't just come from women either.

freshpopcorn · 29-01-2023 7:29pm

I thought this was going to a thread about Mary Lou!

Larbre34 · 29-01-2023 7:37pm

Women have expectations which are too high and construct these totally unrealistic and fantastical scenarios in their heads, about what and how their lives should be, rather than what they are.

And I'm not talking about aims or life goals, which are perfectly laudable, I mean daft comparisons to their sisters or friends or some bellend on the TV. And all that makes them obsessive and jealous and uncomfortable with themselves and with life.

Men can do either of two things with that; accept it and listen to the endless giving out, or try and disabuse the women of their ideas.

This isn't gaslighting, its actually mindfulness.

29-01-2023 7:39pm

Be more specific as to which women, Larbre - as that doesn't remotely describe me or my friends.

29-01-2023 7:43pm

Jaysus some of you need to find better people to hang out with. This isn’t a womens issue that’s just shite people you’re engaged with.

Choose better friends/partners

osarusan · 29-01-2023 7:44pm

Thread is fully of truly moronic generalisations.

SEPT 23 1989 · 29-01-2023 7:48pm

My old hen is a very tolerant woman if on the rare occasion she has a go at me it would be very well deserved but she certainly wouldn’t do it in the middle of a public house

next morning that’s when the fun starts

Jequ0n · 29-01-2023 7:50pm

Am I missing something here? I thought this thread was specifically about alcohol/ substance induced aggression which the OP witnessed?

So I guess less tolerance due to less body mass brings out the more volatile sides. And sure, female aggression against men is still laughed off by large parts of society, or at least not taken seriously. Saying that I probably deserved every slap I ever received that way in those situations.

29-01-2023 7:56pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120174741#Comment_120174741

I don’t think anyones trying to make light of violence towards anyway or indeed belittling the issue in fairness

Furze99 · 29-01-2023 8:00pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058281886/why-is-it-always-the-woman-giving-out

One of the basic laws of nature! :)

Sardonicat · 29-01-2023 8:10pm

Oh goody! Another thread full of male experts on women's behaviour, choices and motivation. Thank God, at the age of almost 52 I'll finally get it right. If only I'd seen something like this before.....

gmisk · 29-01-2023 8:13pm

Yikes...this thread is giving serious Jim Davidson/divorced dad vibes.

Sardonicat · 29-01-2023 8:15pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120174839#Comment_120174839

Obviously, now that the men have explained it all.

Larbre34 · 29-01-2023 8:17pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120174687#Comment_120174687

You only think it doesn't. Which is a decent chunk of the problem.

Furze99 · 29-01-2023 8:19pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120174840#Comment_120174840

Nah.. even think of the cliches like nagging and henpecking, they have a core of truth. Mind you many women don't just reserve this for men, they'll also happily 'bitch' about female friends too. Nothing wrong with it at all, once you understand it as part of the human/ animal condition.

20Wheel · 29-01-2023 8:53pm

Many possible reasons.

There is the case where the woman is establishing a profile of what her date is about, does he lose patience quickly, is he a doormat, what pushes his buttons.

Theres also the case where shes manufacturing a conflict for attention, or something she expects during the foregiveness/makeup.

It can also be about a failure of payment by the man. Women often sell their bodies for certain payments in kind, attention, company, protection, gifts, or any other number of non-cash exchanges. There is almost always a price.

Men should familiarize themselves with the full Black Phillip canon.

And also ponder the reasons why we have songs like 'Everything she wants' by Wham. Gold-digger by K West. Or 'Scrubs' by tlc.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LPq7CyHqQ2I

29-01-2023 9:11pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120174853#Comment_120174853

Normally "mansplaining" is completely misused and I don't like it.

This is a perfect example of it though. A man telling a woman how she thinks. Arrogance on another level.

gameoverdude · 29-01-2023 9:13pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120174800#Comment_120174800

Forgot heterosexual

29-01-2023 9:20pm

Thread reported because, JFC.

29-01-2023 9:25pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120175039#Comment_120175039

Because some women are gold-diggers. Just like some men are sh1t people.

Even if some men like to depict all women as terrible (while ironically objecting to when some women bitch about men) and listen to advice from other resentful men to help affirm their biases, it's just not true.

29-01-2023 9:27pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120175138#Comment_120175138

not a hope it'll change anything. The one rightwing position Boards has always given plenty of leeway to is misogyny.

(Although there's a rise in misogyny in the left of late too).

Padre_Pio · 29-01-2023 9:50pm

Funny that people either jump to label the OP as a misogynist or explain this with some pseudo-psychological nonsense.

Women in general are more openly emotional than men. Alcohol just makes this worse. Anyone who says otherwise is demonstrably wrong.

20Wheel · 29-01-2023 9:52pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120175161#Comment_120175161

Look, its just womens instincts.

I don't mind, its not immoral or bad or something, but thats just how women are. Its probably for the best. Its darwin.

Put McDonalds line chef on your dating profile as a man. Watch what happens.

Put McDonalds line chef on your dating profile as a woman. Pretty much nothing happens either way.

Its ruthless. But there it is. The male has not gathered enough stones, the male has not swam far enough up river. Just nature.

29-01-2023 9:55pm

I have no problem with acknowledging certain tendencies some women are likely to have - it's just when it's applied to all women is the issue.

Buddy Bubs · 29-01-2023 9:55pm

I love women, especially my own special lady, but if there's giving out being done, 9 times out of 10 it will be her. I'm sure most men relate.

We are just built differently, that's all. She speaks her mind if something is bothering her, most of the time I don't care enough to bother speaking mine and just move on!

PaoloGotti · 29-01-2023 9:59pm

They are dead right. They should be very choosy when the consequence of their choice is being knocked up for 9 months and then 18-20 years of child rearing.

The “giving out” is a symptom of their doubt on whether or not they have chosen wisely.