If RTÉ ran the Health Service instead of the HSE

Right now, the HSE's woes is first item on rte radio news bulletins.

I wonder how RTE would run things differently?

I believe Rugby and GAA All stars would receive priority service.

The 2 tier health service would be readily apparent but nobody could do anything about it

The inequalities would be greater but the commoner folk would be expected to Endure like De Valeras spiel about poor smallholders living on substandard accomodations.

What do you think of how rte might run the setup? A medical panto?

Mad_maxx

Unions would have even more power to obstruct reform

freshpopcorn

Tubridy would run the Children's hospital and sing and throw toys at kids.

Marty Morreisery for care of the elderly.

Joe Duffy in the complaints department.

Lewis_Benson

This has to be the 7th worst thread on boards......ever.

xper

No TV Licence, no chemotherapy.

All out patient appointments cancelled during the Wotld Cup

Celebrity Heart Surgery.

Gall Stones, The Musical

elperello

I have a better idea.

How about Boards posters run both the HSE and RTE.

Nominations are open now.

Lewis_Benson

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120049033#Comment_120049033

I nominate you for the news

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120049033#Comment_120049033

Start a new thread so

elperello

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120049048#Comment_120049048

First item in the bulletin -

"Elperello put in place by xieann" 🙂

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120049075#Comment_120049075

fcuk, we re getting weird now!

One eyed Jack

I’m getting mental images of Kathryn Thomas doing hospital rounds, rounding up potential patients for the next series of Operation Transformation.

Ambulances doing outside broadcasts, all services centralised in Donnybrook, Claire Byrne presenting her show from a GP waiting room.

Miriam presenting Prime Time from the maternity ward.

Sharon Ní Bheolain in charge of wardrobe, she’ll have everyone kitted out in those weird scrubs-looking outfits she wears.

Executives on ridiculous salaries and still with the lamh out for more, claiming they can’t cope with increasing costs without pay increases for themselves.

Wouldn’t be long before the health service would be back at square one, on life support, very much like is being done in RTE as it is!

retalivity

Dermot bannon put in charge of the new childrens hospital, rips it down to add more glass to it. The cost spirals to 8bn, but sure, who cares?

Tubridy becomes chief state pathologist, excels in the role, gets really hands on with any death that is remotely suspicious, is renowned for his exhaustive analysis.

Most sick people would just die, I guess.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120049366#Comment_120049366

RTE would just keep bringing them back.

whisky_galore

Cancer diagnoses given to patients by the stars of RTE comedy.

Strumms

Joe Duffy walking around in a nurse’s uniform isn’t something I’d want to contemplate.

Ryan Tubridy in charge of the morgue would be appropriate although he probably want a pay rise and on receiving it utter… “ so how many of these lovely people did I personally bore to death ?”

freshpopcorn

Competition

Text Operation to 51707 followed by your Name to be boosted up the waiting list for an operation of your choice.

touts

All the main equipment would be second hand from the UK and US.

I’d put Joe Duffy in charge of the Morgue & Registry of Deaths & autopsies.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120049075#Comment_120049075

And gets pay rise.

TheRiverman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120048956#Comment_120048956

Who is Marty Morreisery ?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120050547#Comment_120050547

He’d be raiding the medicine cabinet to treat his gas issues

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120050497#Comment_120050497

“And how do you feel about facing death?”

ButtersSuki

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120049033#Comment_120049033

If I was being sarcastic I'd nominate your good self to run RTE but seeing as you think it's the best and most professionally run organization in the world I'm not sure of your suitability.

I'll nominate myself to run RTE. I can promise anyone voting for me that there will be a LOT of changes.

edit: typo

Your operation would stop every 15 mins and they’d wake you up so that you could watch an break.

jd

Twink makes daily visits to every ward in the country. Hospital waiting lists evaporate.

freshpopcorn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120050684#Comment_120050684

I meant this guy.

All CPR and other important treatments would stop at 6:00 as the whole health service 'paused for the Angelus' ... ironically there's less of that in the health services, even though some of them are literally run by Catholic nuns!

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120050755#Comment_120050755

Sounds like brain surgery, where they wake you up to make sure they aren’t affecting speech etc when eg resecting a brain tumour.

Ryan Tubridy could be in charge of Instagramming moments of himself by your bedside as you get chemo or just out of major surgery.

Sgt Hartman

Nepotism would be even worse than it is already if RTE were in charge. All job vacancies would be reserved for the "well connected"

I could also imagine Blathnaid Ní Chofaigh as a tyrannical CNM, Ray D'arcy as a condescending admin middle manager and Brendan O'Connor as an incompetent Hospital CEO. Dermot Bannan would be an outside contractor who is awarded a big contract for renovating a new A&E department, mainly because he's best buddies with Brendan. The renovation project goes completely over budget of course.

Tow

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120050882#Comment_120050882

At the New Year's Eve gig, Marty looked like he has had too many cosmetic procedures. So he could be put in charge of surgery.

Baz Ashmawy would be in charge of the virtue signalling construction of essential medical care facilities not funded by Dept of Health

A huge proportion of the health budget would be spent on special therapies and reanimation techniques to ensure that presenters could go on for at least 200 years - anything to avoid hiring anyone new!