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is he cheating

  • 11-12-2022 8:20pm
    Registered Users Posts: 144 ✭✭

    my husband came home from his work christmas party the other night and the next morning i noticed makeup on his shirt. there was foundation on the collar of his shirt and also on the shoulder area. could he have gotten this innocently or did he cheat? im sure its hard to know from this alone?


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,017 ✭✭✭✭the_amazing_raisin

    Got a hug from a femal colleague, some of her makeup got on his shirt

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,742 ✭✭✭gameoverdude

    Foundation!? Hope not mica based.

    Seriously a hug could do that. Relax there. Does he seem off, apart from the hangover? Is this the first time you have suspicions?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,691 ✭✭✭Furze99

    Ask him, simple.

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,742 ✭✭✭gameoverdude

    Not so simple. Could absolutely ruin the relationship.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,691 ✭✭✭Furze99

    Depends on the relationship, but a mixture of honesty and/or forgiveness is usually a reasonable mix?

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,772 ✭✭✭rolling boh

    His behaviour from now might suggest something but the first bit is pretty flimsy evidence if that is it .

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  • Registered Users Posts: 735 ✭✭✭Vestiapx

    Drunken young wans with too much make up hugging people, this is why I do laught at them and shake their hands.

    Jut ask him FFS but nicely he's probably grand .

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,742 ✭✭✭gameoverdude

    Don't know their relationship, but if they came out with that question because a little bit of makeup on my shirt I'd be peeved.

    Depends mostly on trust.

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,169 ✭✭✭Pauliedragon

    OP nothing here will alleviate your concerns. There are several ways his shirt could end up like that. As pointed out above it could be simple as a group photo or people innocently hugging each other. I'll give you an example. My best friend is female and she's very affectionate esp after a few drinks. Nothing romantic going on but she hugs me a lot and my clothes smell of her make up and perfume the next day. I'd say if I came home smeling lke that to a partner I wouldn't blame her for being suspicious. There's no way to tell without confronting him which could cause it's own problems especially if he's done nothing wrong.

  • Registered Users Posts: 18,060 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    When putting the washing on, I might hold up the short and day jocosely “I see you had a good night, an extra dose of Persil should sort it”, he might then tell about an inebriated colleague rubbing her face over your shoulder in a hug. That would be an acknowledgement that you noticed without being too accusatory and allow him to offer an explanation. One way or another he will express some embarrassment.

    Boys and girls, repeat after me 20 times: “I should have known, but I had to learn”.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,297 ✭✭✭walterking

    I had a work do last week. Some of the weekend staff were a little merry.

    One dragged me onto the dance floor and then gave a big hug with a drunken kiss on the cheek.

    I'd be a good few years older than her father, so rather funny. Wife was looking on in hysterics and there was plenty of makeup/ fake tan left on me.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,327 ✭✭✭UsBus

    Apt username 😏

    Luckily any pro will have a fingerprint sensor or code in use to avoid this type of scummy carry on.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,481 ✭✭✭joeguevara

    ok, did you have concerns about his fidelity prior to this. How did you spot foundation on a collar of a shirt the next morning, it’s not something that a easilyd mpntifiable. Also it would be more likely that there would be lipstick not foundation.

    could it have been curry sauce “ could it have a hug goodbye. Did he come hom kat, was there a gap when he wasn’t contactable.

    it doesn’t make sense that the first thought is cheating with an unidentifiable brown stain on a shirt.

  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,495 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith

    It's impossible to know given this alone. But why would that be your initial assumption? A hug good bye at the end of the evening would be my thinking. Or a Fairytale of New York fueled mayhem.

    Don't go snooping on his phone - that's mountain out of a molehill territory where you'll be the one in the wrong.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,978 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General

    Riding habits? Many a marriage has zero riding going on.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,373 ✭✭✭Grumpypants

    There is make-up in the exact spot where everyone who gave him a hug would leave make up.

  • Registered Users Posts: 435 ✭✭GoogleBot

    Every husband deserve a good time away from boring routine. Give him personal time he deserved.

  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,940 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite

    It's more than likely innocent - that kind of thing can happen with a hug or squishing in for a selfie, so on it's own, not anything to worry about.

    But it's got you worried so either it's insecurities at play on your part, or you have some reasons to distrust him from other unusual things.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,638 ✭✭✭Glaceon

    The shoulder of my wedding suit jacket was covered in makeup after the ceremony just from the amount of hugs I got. So I don't think that alone would raise any red flag.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,637 ✭✭✭Muppet Man

    Too many hugs. Thats about it.