If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on [email protected] for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact [email protected]

Social etiquette at small dinner parties

  • 02-12-2022 12:04am
    Registered Users Posts: 3,091 ✭✭✭amandstu

    Is it acceptable behaviour when invited out for a meal at a friend's house to take lengthy phone calls in the course of the meal?

    Alternatively, is it reasonable to ask one's friends to turn off their phones for the duration if they want to come for a meal?


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,652 ✭✭✭StupidLikeAFox

    1. It depends

    2. No

  • Registered Users Posts: 19,756 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    If the phone call is relating to a genuinely quite urgent situation concerning the well-being of a family member, a guest might excuse themselves and apologise and step out into the hall, and apologise again on return to company. If it’s not an urgent call, guest should advise caller they are in company atm and will return call later.

    it’s certainly not acceptable to ask guests to turn off phones or decline calls. Apart from the rudeness of asking, there could be a brewing situation at home with a sick relative etc, and given that no reasonably polite guest would indulge in anything but a “Ill call you back later” response to cast majority of calls, it should not be necessary. - serving exiled talent

  • Registered Users Posts: 18 itrip

    Unless family/work call expected, which one might flag in advance with host, have we all not got to point where phone on silent when in company of others....

  • Registered Users Posts: 23,952 ✭✭✭✭Strumms

    Phone on silent.

    if you happen to be say on call for work or a family issue going on in the background… just flag it to everyone..leave the table to make or take the call.

    But pre warn….” sorry folks, just to warn you in case X happens it’s because…not being rude “

    In the last, 4 or 5 years or so the overuse of mobiles in social situations is a pain in the hole…mobiles have been around in regular use for 25 years but the outright weird obsession with them that has become prevalent only within the last couple.

  • Registered Users Posts: 78,929 ✭✭✭✭Atlantic Dawn

    Depends if you are being asked to keep a near dead parent alive or if you are being asked should you paint the front wall of your driveway to periwinkle blue.

    My phone is never on silent, I've had enough death notice calls to know when contact is needed. I'd never go to a cinema when a relative is at deaths door to annoy others like a specialist in prickology.

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 29,329 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn

    It depends on the conversation.

    No, I wouldn't recommend telling people you invited over to turn their phones off.

    If something happened it would just be extra hassle.

    If somebody calls to your house and spends all their time of their phone.

    Your hosting skills may need to improve. I often find when people are engaged and having a good time they will get off the phone.

    They simply may not want to be there. I do think more people shouldn't go to events they don't want to go to and people shouldn't drag family members to places they don't want to.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,254 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa

    You can obviously do what you want, but just be aware that asking guests to turn off their phones may come across as a bit fussy and controlling. Even with even with the best of intentions, it wouldn't give a good impression of a relaxed, enjoyable evening.

    If someone takes a call at the dinner table (and it's obviously not news that their immediate family have all been massacred), just directly say to them "You'll be more comfortable taking that call in private out in the hallway" And carry on whatever conversation was already happening amongst the rest of the guests.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,423 ✭✭✭growleaves

    No you should challenge them to a duel as their behaviour is obviously meant as a calculated insult.

    Don't forget to smack a glove across their face when you're announcing the duel.

    I am not the type to faint

    When things are odd or things are quaint

  • Registered Users Posts: 13,724 ✭✭✭✭Witcher

    'just directly say to them "You'll be more comfortable taking that call in private out in the hallway" And carry on whatever conversation was already happening amongst the rest of the guests. '

    Do people actually go on like this?

    Jesus, this just isn't the way normal humans interact in my experience.

    Same the post above- 'if you're on call for a family emergency...just flag it to everyone'..I wouldn't be 'flagging' my family business to anyone.

  • Registered Users Posts: 10,041 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland

    To be fair, a “normal” human shouldn’t have to be told they’d better off taking their call away from the table.

    The tide is turning…

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 6,491 ✭✭✭Feisar

    Agreed however most people wouldn't semi order them to the hallway either.

    First they came for the socialists...

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,651 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles

    Turn off the phones, stick 'em in a bowl, blindfolds, see what happens. Car manufacturers thought they would do away with key parties by going keyless (I can only assume this is the exact and only reason), they were very wrong.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,254 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa

    My good man, are you not cognisant of the epistemological certainty that one does not necessarily compose one's textual missives in the precise mode and lexicon that one verbally utters one's vocal exclamations in? You surely display a punctilious sense of expression.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,276 ✭✭✭corner of hells

    Is it a swingers type of dinner party or just an ordinary one ?

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,091 ✭✭✭amandstu

    Probably explains the Lee Dorsey (Glen Miller ?) ringtone during the phone calls.

    I will know better next time.

  • Have they also been asked to remove their shoes in this hypothetical scenario?

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,091 ✭✭✭amandstu

    Not at all.They have to keep the shoes on but they are allowed to remove their masks (and their phones from now on)

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,091 ✭✭✭amandstu

    I must be out of the loop.

    Is "white" the new cocaine?

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,410 ✭✭✭NewbridgeIR

    1 - No. Unless it's an emergency / very important.

    2 - No.

    I usually put my phone on silent when I am in the company of friends. However if I forget and my phone rings, I just say to the other people "Sorry, forgot to put it on silent." I don't bother answering it.

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 20 Barcley

    1. You can take what you think might be an emergency call.
    2. No