How to make the perfect lasagna.

gameoverdude

I've no idea. The bechamels sauce fecks me up.

The thread title is slightly robust with the truth, however lasagna recipes are welcome.

It's more a thread of what 99.9999% of the population find easy and you're crap at.

Mine are the following:

Tying shoe laces. I was thought as a kid with that rhyme. Nope. I figured out my own "technique". It works, but people look confused.

Hand writing. In short it's crap. People have to rotate the page to figure it out. So do I actually.

Geeky now. Stem stuff.

Relative velocity. Told its easy. Makes sense. Question in front of me...Good luck.

Moments of inertia. Again, makes sense. But I wasn't so civil to those civil engineering questions.

Sport.

Anything that involves me not using part of my body. Can't use hurls, rackets...

Also I have to change my knife hand when cutting food.

igCorcaigh

I have always used the left hand cutlery, when it should have been the right. Just the way I'm built.

igCorcaigh

Sport.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119923345#Comment_119923345

All sport?

You wouldn't be on your own.

Gregor Samsa

I can’t just look at an analogue clock and tell the time. I have to work it out - big hand, little hand. And then I forget which one does what. So I don’t ever bother. I think I was out sick the day they did it in school, and I’ve worn a digital watch since I was seven.

igCorcaigh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119923468#Comment_119923468

All sport!

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119923859#Comment_119923859

Not unknown. I get slagged in work for using the 24 hour timing. 3pm...huh...oh, 15:00

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119925523#Comment_119925523

Don't worry. Your body is probably in a better place than mine.

igCorcaigh

Cutting toenails.

It's not so much that I can't do it (although I do find it difficult), it's the fear of that pain that happens when you cut too deeply. I can see how it's used as a form of torture. I put off cutting my toenails because of it, and worry about what happens when I'm too old to do so.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119925552#Comment_119925552

Okay! Wasn't expecting that, but I do that as well. How do people cut toenails when they're massively obese. Also peeing for men would be an issue I imagine?

Cup

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058273417/how-to-make-the-perfect-lasagna

I also tie my shoelaces in a different way than the accepted norm. I think my way is quicker, but occasionally unreliable. I suppose it’s all about how dangerously you are want to live.

I’m right handed, but also switch cutlery hands when I’m eating.

I zone out when given directions. This is something a lot of people do, but, man I do it well, and no amount of work on my focus will help me. I thought I’d mature out of it, but no luck so far.

I do make a mean lasagne though. My tip is to mince your own meat (oh my) with minimal fat. Really makes a difference.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119925957#Comment_119925957

Are you married?

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119925552#Comment_119925552

I put off cutting my toenails because of it, and worry about what happens when I'm too old to do so.

I hate to break it to you, but your toenails actually get thicker and stronger as you get older, so you’ll have to use industrial strength clippers by the time you get to the age when reaching your toes becomes a problem. My dad ended up in a nursing home, and they had a podiatrist come in every couple of months to do the residents’ toenails. That was fine for a while, until his dementia got worse and he declined the podiatrist’s services without me knowing. One day I saw him getting out of bed and his toenails had grown and curled under his toes. I tried cutting them with a nail scissors and then the biggest clippers I could find in the chemist. No good, they were so thick. I had to buy a clippers that looked like a wire cutter.

igCorcaigh

"your toenails actually get thicker and stronger as you get older"

Yes, I have noticed @Gregor Samsa, that they do, yes, indeed, they do.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926113#Comment_119926113

Back to lasagna lads.

I still haven't learned how to make the perfect lasagne.

All I've learned is that cutting toenails can at times prove problematic.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926132#Comment_119926132

Well you've learned something. These type of threads are definitely givers.

What, I'm not sure. But they do.

Purple Mountain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119923859#Comment_119923859

I can't work out the digital 24 hour clock without thinking!

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926160#Comment_119926160

In the same vain is 12:00 the morning or afternoon?

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926121#Comment_119926121

Ok.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1683881-What-to-do-Human-nail-found-in-food?reply=37244099&utm_source=thread&utm_medium=share

igCorcaigh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119923468#Comment_119923468

I was forced (!) to play badminton in my first year of college.

I threw the shuttlecock (?) into the air, and tried to hit it with the racket, but missed. I tried again, missed. After ten tries and misses, I just walked away and didn't attend P.E. class again.

I still passed my first year.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926240#Comment_119926240

Hate you.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926262#Comment_119926262

Sounds like me.

I'd just have kicked it over the net.

igCorcaigh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926210#Comment_119926210

In what way does water go down the sink at the Equator, clockwise or anti-clockwise?

gameoverdude

Ah! I was decent at bernoullis equations! Depends which side the water comes out (unless a complete laminar flow). Need more input!

Lewis_Benson

According to some on here, the only way to cook anything is on a sandwich toaster.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926329#Comment_119926329

Jebus christi! You're like a broken record!

Only a toastie is cooked in toasted sangich maker.

It's simple science!

igCorcaigh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926295#Comment_119926295

Fluid dynamics wrecked my head in first year physics. But I think the clockwise/anti-clockwise thing about water going down a sink in the different hemispheres might be a myth? Anyway, OT.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926458#Comment_119926458

I believe it is.

Turn on your tap to your left in the sink. It'll follow the geometry of the sink. Then turn on the right one...guess what...

Turn on both! Chaos is great!

mojesius

Lasagna recipes, this one is pretty decent: https://cafedelites.com/best-lasagna/#recipe

I don't bother with the pork and just increase the beef.

I think the trick with a good lasagna is to make the meat sauce the day before. It's nice and thick then with more flavour (you could make more meat sauce and use as spag bols for freezer too).

What I am bad at is directions. I can't tell my left from my right. Doing my driving test was terrifying as I'm a grand driver but really had to focus on the tester's instructions and make sure I wasn't going the wrong way. I did a scuba diving course and was terrified when they handed me a compass and told me I had to guide the group from point a to point b. I actually brought them to point c.

igCorcaigh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926464#Comment_119926464

Nothing more boring than laminar flow... you have to tweak the system to bring out the interesting bits. ANYWAY, OT!

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926473#Comment_119926473

It's my thread! Nothing is off topic...except for people questioning proper toasties.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926469#Comment_119926469

Excellent stuff. Thanks. Beef is always better a day or two afterwards.

Sounds like me. I go to a new place and use Google maps. I have to position the phone or I'll walk the opposite direction.

Happyhouse22

Screws - tightie rightie leftie loosie makes no sense to me...

They are circular.. as the top goes right the bottom goes left... I am doing both simultaneously

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926640#Comment_119926640

Are you talking about a screw and a bolt? Awkward stuff. I'm not DIY inclined.

Might get a mod to change the title to what we're crap at, but food recipes welcome...unless they bitch about proper toasties.

StupidLikeAFox

I remember people by how many syllables are in their name. So might be thinking of an actor, and instead of saying "benedict cumberbatch" I will say "Hugh fearnley whitinstall". If somebody says they are thinking of someone like Roy keane, I will think of Lee mack etc etc

I've no idea why this happens, and it's a lot more frustrating when it comes to everyday people and not celebrities

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926669#Comment_119926669

I love that.

I'm crap with names too.

Say a song or an actor, I go through the alphabet until I figure it out.

Lewis_Benson

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119926335#Comment_119926335

You keep repeating yourself.....

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119929084#Comment_119929084

I keep saying that!

Lewis_Benson

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119929170#Comment_119929170

It's like some kind of.....repetitive......repeating....keep on saying something......thing

B.A._Baracus

As the thread title says "How to make the perfect lasagna" - There's only two tips you need. Don't take my word for it as I got it from a YouTube video from Marco Pierre White.

1, Never drain your mince. He's right. As he puts it there is a percentage of flavor in that excess water and fat. Fry it off. Reduce your mince to dry. Carmalise it a little. The flavor is now in your mince and not down your kitchen drain.

2, After you add your lasagna sauce add a beef stock cube. I was a little wary because his video was selling Knorr stock cubes but he's right. Add it, stir it and reduce sauce. I generally use the lidl ones. They work a treat.

Best lasagna you'll ever make.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119931591#Comment_119931591

Drooling now. Sounds tasty. I'll give it a go. Thanks.

Next lasagna I may try half/half pork and beef mince. Why? I dunno. Why not.

Also, I need to work on my thread titles.

B.A._Baracus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119931675#Comment_119931675

Great idea actually. Have done the half and half before. It's even better.

Glaceon

My wife uses this recipe. It's a bit unusual because it doesn't use the white sauce but it's still really good.

http://web.archive.org/web/20200130221517/http://www.aspiringsmalltowngirl.com/2016/05/best-damn-lasagna-on-earth/

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119931868#Comment_119931868

Okey dokey. Sounds interesting (except for pesto).

The 7 hours of drying ricotta may turn me off though. But cheese is always good. I like a decent mature cheddar.

Added bonus flavour with my blood in the dish after grating it.

Sgt Hartman

I usually make a really easy tomato sauce by blending a tin of tomatoes with a chopped onion, 3 cloves of garlic, a jar of red pesto, a good sprinkle of dried rosemary and basil, a dash of Worcestershire sauce, a squeeze of ketchup, a squeeze of tomato puree, a tablespoon of sugar, and lastly a good sprinkle of sea salt and cracked black pepper.

My bechamel sauce is made by doing a roux in the saucepan with flour and butter and slowly adding a pint of milk whilst stirring. I sprinkle in sea salt, black pepper, a good dadh of nutmeg, a heaped teaspoon of mustard and lots of grated mature cheddar cheese.

I also season the mince well with salt and pepper and brown it until it's well caramelized before I stir in the tomato sauce.

I layer the lasagna with meat, bechamel, lasagna sheets in that order before topping it off with more bechamel and grated cheddar cheese sprinkled with smoked paprika. Into the oven it goes at 170 degrees for 35 minutes. I normally serve with chunky oven chips. My OH loves it :)

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119931921#Comment_119931921

Nutmeg? Lost me.

Deebles McBeebles

Had a late night toastie last night and can't remember eating it. The evidence was all there though, empty plate full of toasted crumbs, cheese in the sandwich maker, a vague waft of burning in the kitchen.

Never made lasagna but also have trouble with the analogue clock so I feel I'm amongst friends.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119931960#Comment_119931960

Toastie coma. Noice. We've all been there.

Mr.Crinklewood

I just spilt a large packet of meanies all over the place.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119931937#Comment_119931937

don’t knock it til you try it. Often people turn away when they hear something they’re not a fan of is present, however, I promise you at some stage you’ve likely had a cheese sauce made this way and not even noticed.

Besides there’s such a small amount you’d hardly know it’s there & would just combine with the other seasonings to give the right flavour.