Kid's birthday party gift amount

thepogues

What's the going rate nowadays to gift a child when your kid's been invited to their birthday party? They're classmates.

gkb144

Hi My daughter recently had a 10th birthday mostly she received between 15-20 euro in cards.

kippy

5 bucks is the going rate here. Big classes so a good few parties a year. Parents took the sensible step of suggesting 5 max in a card and that's continued thankfully.

Ago group 5 to 12 or so.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119884071#Comment_119884071

That'll add up quickly if there's 25 in a class! Do people not buy a present for kids anymore?

gkb144

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119884104#Comment_119884104

She only invited the other girls which was about 10 in total. It does indeed add up but the bar has now been set apparently. Not one gift was given just cash and some vouchers. Quite the earner for them.

Potential-Monke

Why does everything require a present or gift? Presence is no longer enough for anything.

freshpopcorn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119884104#Comment_119884104

I don't think so. Mainly because parents know that several people could end up buying the same thing and they don't want to pile the house with clutter.

I find people give between €10 and €20 if it's a small group of friends. If it's bigger class I find people might agree on €5.

Tree fiddy. No more, no less.

Gregor Samsa

Cárta Cúig is the standard in our school. Most parents mention it on the invite. If they don't, I just assume it. Unless it's a very small group invited, or a very good friend: Then I'd give a tenner. (I will note that I have twins, so it's x2)

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119884104#Comment_119884104

Getting presents is a pain in the hole, especially if you're having the party at some venue outside your house (which is the smart thing to do). First off, most of it is junk. Secondly, having to deal with 25 presents, mind them while you're dealing with 25 kids, transport them home and then deal with all the packaging/recycling just isn't worth the effort for the junk that most of it is. This is assuming it's school friends. For cousins, etc. a present is probably more appropriate.

Princess Calla

We had the fiver in the card rule which was fine until mine had theirs and they received 10,15 and 20's absolutely mortified!!! Only a very few kept to the fiver rule!

I tend to go 10 for the average classmate and 15 for the ones I know they play with and talk about alot.

A gift under a tenner is usually just tat . However when they get money it goes into their moneybox never to see the light of day.....I'm a soft touch I can't take their money when I order stuff on line for them.

b v

I have the same question. My twin nieces are having their joint 18th bday tomorrow. Is €200 each in a card stingy or too much?

iguana

For my son's birthday recently he got €20 in cash or Smyths/Roblox vouchers from everyone except families with twins/multiple children invited. They gave €25-30 per family.

Cyrus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119884568#Comment_119884568

i would echo this,

ideally its great if people stick to the 5er in a card thing, its cleaner, not expensive and the child can go buy one thing they actually want. Kids have so much these days there generally isnt a whole lot they want anyway.

But getting 25 pieces of heavily packaged plastic is awful all round.

Mrs OBumble

25 kids at a birthday party? Really???

Boscoirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119885051#Comment_119885051

too much imo, get them a bottle of vodka each. Job done.

Kid in our area never seemed to go to parties he was invited to. Eventually we found out it was because his family was so low on money they couldn't afford gifts and so found it socially less embarrasing to simply make excuses for the child never to go to a party.

So ever since that I have always stressed any party I do for my kids is absolutely gift free. No one is to give anything. And as people have noted above there is very little the kids want anyway so my kids are not in any way put out or down about this.

Do they do gift boxes in Ireland Toy Shops at all? I saw it in France and dunno if its the done thing here in Ireland. But the kid goes in and fills a box with their name on it with the gifts they would like to get. Then everyone who is invited to the party is informed of which shop it is. They go in and pick out of the box whatever one of the chosen gifts they want to get for the kids party. So at least that way the kid knows what they are getting and its something they actually want.

SEPT 23 1989

two crisp Irish punt notes in a card

L1011

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119885269#Comment_119885269

Back in my day, 30 in a primary class was normal enough so even being selective, if you had any cousins etc at it, 25 was about the norm really.

Victor

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119885051#Comment_119885051

Take them to a nice lunch / dinner next week. Give them €100 then. The meal will be remembered and at least the money doesn't get blown on drink this week.

When my eldest nieces turned 18 and 16 around the same time, I gave the eldest €50, explaining it was a special birthday. This was at a time she would have expected that a €50 gift would be shared with her sisters. When I reached into my wallet again for niece #2, her keys were at cartoon-level $$KERCHING$$, only to then only get €20.

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119885269#Comment_119885269

When the kids are young, a lot of people invite the whole class. Depending on the class size, and if everyone accepts, you could easily end up with 25 at it (our kids' current class is 28). And that's before you get to cousins, friends from the estate or sports teams, etc. As the kids get older (9-10), you tend to be more selective; maybe just invite the boys/girls, or just a handful of close friends. We had 29 at the last party, but that was an exception. From now on, it'll be the close friends, so about 10 in total between the two of them.

buried

Jesus chrisp lads, no wonder none of these Kids want to work, what the f**k are ye doing

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887676#Comment_119887676

What way do you work it with your own kids?

buried

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887708#Comment_119887708

I let him know what he can have and what he can't. And I've let him know that if there is some make of product that he really wants, he is going to have to earn it.

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887738#Comment_119887738

Yeah, but that's a different topic to this thread. Do you invite the whole class to his parties, or just his close friends? What kind of presents do you give to the other kids that invite him to parties?

Ms2011

My 7 year old is going to a party tomorrow, I've stuck €15 in a card. So much easier than shopping for a present especially when the invite comes in at the last minute.

buried

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887754#Comment_119887754

He invite's his close friends from his class, they come here and they have the craic. Most of them bring absolutely nothing, some might bring food or party treats, but that's about it. Nobody brings money, If some child came here with money to my house I'd send it straight back to his parents. Same as his friends parents. Money amounts, that's not what a friends birthday party is supposed to be about. Especially a child.

walshb

15-20 seems about right!

walshb

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119884104#Comment_119884104

The hassle. Card and few quid much the better way. And most parents would prefer. Saves on a lot silly “stuff.”

stargazer 68

When my son was younger the whole class was invited however one of the mums, different each time, would contact all the other mums and collect 10 off each and buy the birthday child a gift from the whole group..bought my son a bike one year, helmet etc.

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887810#Comment_119887810

We found that if you either say nothing on the invite, or expressly say not to give a gift (we've tried both), that people tend to spend/give even more. I think it's human nature to give a gift at a birthday - well, it's certainly pretty common anyway, and then you have people worrying about what the right amount to give is (like the OP, and it's perfectly understandable). We've found that if we put "Cárta Cúig" on the invite, then people stick to that and don't give more - so it's good way to keep it to an absolute minimum. Works well in the real world anyway.

walshb

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119884135#Comment_119884135

Generally people like to feel that others have at least made an effort to think about their birthday occasion.

As well as contributing somewhat to the effort parents may have gone through to welcome.

It doesn’t take much to buy a card and stick a few quid in it for a child. Children like gifts and like a few bob. That’s what being a child is about. Being appreciated on their big day. And you also get satisfaction knowing your little effort gave a child a nice day.

Imagine if everyone took your stance and decided that “presence” was enough. Be a bit sad!!! And thoughtless.

Andrea B.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119885298#Comment_119885298

We specified same on cards when recession had kicked in around 2009. We were ok, but so many weren't.

We were delighted when kids arrived without gifts or money as we knew that the request was acknowledged and hopefully appreciated. They had great craic.

Nothing beats an imaginative handmade card btw.

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887837#Comment_119887837

I remember for the first class birthday for my eldest, we were shocked by the volume of presents. We hadn't even thought about it up to that point. People meant well, of course, and individually you couldn't knock anyone for the effort they went in picking something out, but overall it was just a load of junk no-one needs. Like tubs of slime, those black cards you scrape off to reveal a rubbish picture, feckin' sea monkeys. I'm still vacuuming up plastic beads from all the "craft sets".

buried

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887854#Comment_119887854

I dunno man, I meant to ask you this the last post, do you maybe live in the city, or a fairly big urban area? I live in the rural countryside, and the activity you and others are describing definitely doesn't happen out here, so maybe its a cultural difference or something? I dunno. Gifts at a birthday here come solely from the parents, even grandparents would just give something very small, his friends from his class - me and his Mum and he would just be glad they would be there at his party and that's all they seem to want to be involved with too. Like I said, if any of these kids brought money to my house, I would be uncomfortable as Hell.

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887891#Comment_119887891

Nothing beats an imaginative handmade card btw.

That's for sure. We always get our kids to make cards. And the ones their friends make are usually keepers too. Some of them are hilarious.

John_Rambo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119885051#Comment_119885051

That's really really generous, fair play to you b v, you're a class uncle/aunt!! Personally, I'd cut it in half (& make it two €100 crisp notes) or make half of it a voucher for an instagramable venue (Bunsen Burger or similar if you're in Dublin) ... €200 is a lot, you don't want to outshine the parents!!

For pre-teen parties it's pre-agreed fiver from each party attendee in our case.

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887906#Comment_119887906

A county town in the West. The primary school has about 500 kids in it (maybe a bit less). 28 in their classroom, 2 rooms per class year. From talking to anyone else around, my experience seems to be the norm for all the other schools around the town too. Been at a few kids birthdays of family members in more rural areas, and they're certainly smaller (as you'd expect). Never noticed that birthday gifts weren't a thing, though, but I wouldn't have been paying attention to what other people brought or didn't bring.

buried

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887942#Comment_119887942

We'd be in the similar situation to you but I'd never encounter the crazy level of what people are talking about here, gifting actual cash money in envelopes every 12 months. That's not good. Your basically teaching the child that every couple of months they are entitled to money for just being born. What's that going to lead to - total sense of entitlement. How is that in any way beneficial to them growing up?

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887581#Comment_119887581

Almost no one I know has a house big enough for that! Twould be a zoo.

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887975#Comment_119887975

Ah now, I don't know too many kids that have birthdays every couple of months! It's once a year, from the age of what, 5 until they're about 9? Getting a few fivers from their mates isn't going to turn them into chronic welfare spongers - there's plenty of opportunity to give them life lessons, even with the few bob they get. I think you're taking it all a bit seriously, tbh. I've learned not to worry about every little thing with kids, they'll turn out just fine.

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887983#Comment_119887983

Ha! Never in the house, that would be a rookie mistake! I couldn't deal with the tidying, before or after.

Last party we did was the cinema and a pizza after . Most of the ones they get invited to would be in the local play place, and we've done that ourselves too. 2 hours, in and out with no hassle, bowling and laser tag (soft play area when they were younger), kids have a blast.

Akrasia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887788#Comment_119887788

That's a tenner too much. Carta Cuig for kids their age from classmates.

Fiver in a card.

It's not a wedding, the kids should value the party, not the presents.

Akrasia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887891#Comment_119887891

Our kids always made handmade cards for every party. It made the card more meaningful. I'm not saying their handmade card should be framed, they were usually scribbled together at the last minute, but there is zero thought from grabbing a card from a petrol station on the way to the party.

buried

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119888008#Comment_119888008

I dunno man, every young lad I've being trying to hire as an apprentice the last 5 years has ran out the door once I've asked them to lift a finger to open a box of tools. I've been wondering where this new found laziness has sprung from, then I open this thread where I've discovered every family is swapping 25 - 50 euros to each other in a class of 50 every year for a 12 month switch for basically being born. I'm just putting two and two together, maybe I'm getting five, but something of a entitlement switch is definitely happening with young people, and they are obviously being taught it from somewhere

Akrasia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119887983#Comment_119887983

Depends on the time of the year. Our kids had spring and summer birthdays so we could do mostly outdoor stuff.

For the younger kids they are easy enough to entertain if you put a bit of effort in.

We had treasure hunts, themes like pirates or space or explorer... A few games prepared, cake, food and free play and it's done.

We all know the games. The classics you played as a kid with some minor twists all still work

A fiver is plenty, and none of this "everyone in the class" nonsense, either. Actual friends only.

If you've 25 kids in a class, at €15 each, that's €375 per year - and if you've more than one child, it's multiples of that?

Youse are off your heads getting into all that!

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119888062#Comment_119888062

I don’t know, seems to me that every generation thinks the “kids today” are feckless wasters. Personally, I know a lot of great, hard working, head-screwed-on teens and young adults, and I don’t recall them having particularly austere birthdays.

Do you do Santa Claus? I honestly don’t see any harm in appropriate gifts. I personally don’t think everything has to be hard life lesson. And there’s plenty of opportunities in the other 364 days a year to teach a multitude of values, by lesson and example. There’s room to relax and enjoy harmless traditions too, though. Interesting perspectives, for sure. And I can see you put a lot of thought and effort into your parenting, which can only be a good thing.

Princess Calla

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119888094#Comment_119888094

It depends on your perspective.

We're a mixed school so all the girls get invited to the girls and all the boys are invited to boy parties. There have been times when there's 2 or 3 birthdays close together and the parents have organised a joint party and invited everyone and it's worked out really well.

Saying "invite only close friends" is grand until it's your child that doesn't make the cut and gets invited to nothing.

Most of our parties have been in venues where if I was to bring my child myself it would cost over a tenner for entry. So throwing a tenner into a card for a gift really doesn't bother me. They are kids for such a short period of time I'm not going to begrudge €375 a year for making happy memories. There are definitely worse things to be spending money on.

notAMember

A card, or gift, or voucher / money / token of some kind for a party is normal in every culture I've encountered. I wouldn't show up to a party I was invited to with my arms swinging, and I taught the same to my children. We give something small to the host or the person the party is for. It's pretty universal. It's really flexible in Ireland, almost nothing is out of bounds for gifts. Handmade, bought, cards, cash, vouchers. I personally prefer when they receive a card with cash tbh, because cash is so flexible. I've got a wardrobe full of gifts to be regifted or given to school fundraisers, it just builds up when you have a few children. We simply don't need 7 stationary sets with colourful printed rulers, as nice as they are.

Kids parties are mini versions of grown up social events. We took them as an opportunity to learn how to behave at parties, by making sure they participate in the gift, telling to say please and thank you etc. Either make or write the card, pick the gift or voucher etc.

Victor

"A fiver is plenty, and none of this "everyone in the class" nonsense, either. Actual friends only."

Whatever about actual gifts, to prevent bullying / exclusion many schools have a rule that birthday invites can't be given out in school unless everyone is invited. Some modify this so that girls can only invite girls or boys can only invite boys.