Shortest stay in a new job

Mad_maxx

Mine was three days , I fancied a driving job combined with having to visit various businesses and public buildings, job needed two people which I discovered after three days being paired with an existing employee, no way would my days have been less than thirteen hours from start to finish as myself and the other guy flat out did a ten hour day

Personally I stayed in my public service job from school Leaving to early retirement on health grounds, but I once had a colleague who de used he would like an increase in salary from basic grade 3, did interview for another, grade 5, public service sector job, got it, and lasted to 11am coffee break as he was bored silly, given nothing at all to do. That was many decades ago, the public service is a much leaner machine now with way more demanding work.

Having cut his ties with original sector, he begged to be reinstated, they took him back, and later he got promoted along the way to grade 6.

So that was two hours before quitting, is that a record?

corner of hells

An hour , I worked as an electrician ,years ago and arrived on a site to be met by a chargehand who walked in front of me pointing tasks I'd have to do .

I walked off unbeknownst to him while he was ranting and raving, got in my car and went fishing .

Strumms

A matter of days. Maybe a week…10 days… Can’t recall exactly…it was a supermarket, a manager grabbed my upper arm which was in my pocket having spent some time stacking freezer cabinets and had become so numb I was dropping stuff…trying to get warmth and feeling back so i would not drop stock… he did it a little more forcefully then he meant and almost pulled me out of my standing… he was berated by a passing OAP 😅 who insisted she was going to talk to security or a manager… I was shocked and told him if he tried it again he’d be picking his teeth off the shop floor and walked.

21 years later, he’s still a manager in a supermarket, all be it a much smaller enterprise.

Five weeks was mine. It was a call centre job while in college.

eggy81

1 day in an abbatoir for pigs.

Spent the day washing **** out of the pigs anal passage with a special hose. Far from the worst thing I saw there too. Was just after doing leaving cert and waiting to go to college. Summer job. Never turned up for my lift second day. The stink in there was unbelievable.

Greyfox

3 months when I should of left after 1 day, I have a very bad habit of staying too long in jobs

SVI40

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119837812#Comment_119837812

I hope they were dead at this stage??

eggy81

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119837865#Comment_119837865

Well they had just been slit from arse to neck and emptied down a stainless steel slide to be sorted and directed to various work stations so I assume so.

artvanderlay

One day in Microsoft in Dublin, one day in some other office job at the top of Harcourt St (can't remember company name, but there was some twat hassling me to sign me up for the office football team on day one), one day at Aviva insurance in London. In each case I was fully justified. Stupid jobs and horrible people in all three. I don't stick around if I don't like the vibes :)

Still stihl waters 3

3 days when I was 13 working in the bog for 5 pound a day turning turf, no break, no gloves and the hands raw in the evening from the turf and starving in the evening going home it done me the favour of turning me off to the useless waste of energy the bog is

Tork

Mine is 3 days. I knew by the end of Day 1 that I'd just walked into an unpleasant, unfriendly workplace. I spent the next day and a half trying to tell myself that it was just new job jitters but I just felt increasingly miserable as time went on. In the afternoon of Day 3 I just got up and said "I'm off" , got my coat and walked out. Probably not the best way to quit but I could take no more. Interestingly, this place was forever advertising for new staff after I left and folded a few years later.

StevenToast

7 weeks....small practice, boss was sound....but he was under constant pressure....i needed training in the job and hated taking up his time....I also hated being paid and taking money from him.....a dreadful experience.....he never should have taken me on in the first place really....got out of there as soon as I had the opportunity elsewhere....

Alkers

Less than an hour, told it was call centre work, got there for trial shift, found out it was cold call sales over the phone. Did maybe two calls, stood up and left

The Continental Op

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058270546/shortest-stay-in-a-new-job

Very similar but only one day. Turned out everyday was likely to be a 13 hour day and no way was that happening. That might have been OK but at the interview I was promised a vehicle and on the first day told I had to use my car and I'd get paid a mileage allowance. Even had the boss of the company drive 50 miles to meet for a drink to try and change my mind, not a chance.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119837951#Comment_119837951

Was Microsoft really that bad? I happen to know a few people working there for years who like it.

I heard some of the people can be tough going, the work and conditions are excellent..

artvanderlay

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119839206#Comment_119839206

It felt like I was with a group of college kids, with no adults in charge and I didn't have the patience for that. Also I had to keep getting swiped in and out to use the bathroom as my ID wasn't ready. In general, it was all a bit too American for me and the job seemed unnecessary. Spoiled young people getting paid for doing very little. I should say that I was the same age as most people there but they rubbed me the wrong way. It's a lovely feeling when you know that you are not coming back the next day but you string them along :)

Gregor Samsa

I’ve already quit the job after my next job.

Sardonicat

As a teenager I lasted 5 minutes in a local fast food place. Was sent upstairs to the store room to get something, made it halfway up the metal steps that were covered with a thick layer of congealed fat and turned around, went back down the stairs and out the door. About an hour in a local shop, the owner punched me in the arm when I was sweeping, so dropped the broom and walked out. Should have shoved it up her hole. I've walked put of quite a few jobs after a few days/weeks that were seriously taking the piss. Not gonna put up with that.

Mister Vain

1 day in a meat factory. I hated it so much I actually went back to school.

magicbastarder

5 hours in burger king in the blanchardstown centre over 25 years ago. i was putting my new uniform on in the changing room and spotted a sign on the door - £40 had been taken in in fake notes a few days earlier, with the six staff members who were on the tills around the time it happened, with a demand that each of the six cough up £7 to the manager to make up the shortfall. i told him i'd work the shift but that i'd not be back. just chatted to other staff for the duration.

martinedwards

I once gave my notice as I walked through the door.....

front of house job. they knew I wanted permanent, knew I was looking for other jobs.

when I arrived for my 11:00 start, I'd already had a call that morning offering me a permanent job starting in 2 weeks.

I went straight to the manager and said, "do you want 2 weeks out of me or do you want me to clear off?"

"We need you. stay"

so i did.

for the two weeks

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119837993#Comment_119837993

Just under 3 hours doing something similar (not quite the same). Started at more or less 8 am, walked off just before 11. It was in between finishing school and starting my first "big boy job". I found a job in a boozer a couple of days later.

corner of hells

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119839303#Comment_119839303

I worked as a contractor in their offices in Sandford years and was told not to be drinking water from their coolers throughout the building , because the water bel9nged to them.Nor was I allowed buy cans of coke from their vending machines.

Potential-Monke

Lasted 3 weeks in a cd factory. I had to fill and tape the boxes... Only lasted that long because it took that long to find another job. Went to Dubland after getting some sales job, 2 weeks of training required. Found out the first day it was door to door sales (was not told that). They put 4 of us up in a small apartment. I left on the Wednesday, it was full of better-than-you salespeople who would sell their own mother for profit.

Sgt Hartman

I lasted just the one night doing an 8pm to 8am shift in Shannon. A team of us were scrubbing down stripped out airplanes with a brush, detergent and water. It was during my college summer holidays and it was £50 cash in hand for the night. I was so filthy and exhausted after the one night however that I didn't bother returning the next night or any night after that.

happyoutscan

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119837993#Comment_119837993

Keep your head down, arse up and you'll be fine.

Motivator

I lasted probably 4 hours and it was 4 hours too long. 3 interview process and each time I asked about the contract the HR manager said the owner sorts that and he’d look after everything on my first day. I started at 9 am and at 9.02 the owner of the company asked me in to his office and basically said the position I was hired for was a load of nonsense, he didn’t believe in it and said that the only reason the job existed was to satisfy the terms of the franchise agreement he had.

I wasn’t given a contract and was told it would be sorted that day before I went home. I said I couldn’t do any work without knowing what the salary was etc. so he said to me to go and chat with some of the other lads in the company that I’d be working with. Essentially I’d have been doing all odd jobs under the guise of a senior position which I wouldn’t actually be doing, it was purely to keep up appearances to meet the terms of the franchise agreement. It got to 1 o clock and I went in to his office to find out what was going on and he abused me for not making an appointment. I didn’t say a word, just turned around and walked out and didn’t go back.

9 years later and the company has the same positions permanently up on the jobs websites. They can’t hold on to staff long enough in different positions so just have to keep advertising. I should have reported him but I didn’t.

El Gato De Negocios

5 days. When the recession hit I was made redundant in late 08. Took a job in the car buyers guide. Literally the job was going through a stack of regional newspaper classified ads looking for cars for sale ads and cold calling the advertiser trying to get them to pay for an ad in the CBG. The worst job Ive ever had. Absolutely soul destroying, everyone there obviously hated the job and the manager was an insufferable geebag.

Panthro

First one. Technically not a job. I applied for a jobbridge with a kitchen design company. Before I committed to the 9 months or whatever it was I wanted to get a feel for the work. Arranged with the guy to do an hours induction. Went in, he showed me round the showroom for about 15mins. Then fuct off upstairs for a cuppa leaving me on me own. In walks a customer so I showed them round the showroom! Decided not to pursue that jobbridge.

Second one was spent collecting glasses in a nightclub in Galway. Never again. Between the absolute state of the toilets and the drunken idiots pushing into me and me up to me armpits with empties I said no to returning to that one.

Lastly, 2014 fresh out of college with a degree in surveying I applied to a job offer with a surveyor in Dublin. Did the interview, I say interview it was an interrogation. Walked out thinking not getting that job. Got called in for a second job interview. Went along, same as before interrogation by the same guy who I got the distinct feeling absolutely despised me.

He offered me a job for 15k a year. In Dublin! Desperate and thinking let's get the experience for a year then eff off I took the job. Day one he had me reading a book on Building Regs zero interaction with anyone, not shown round. Nothing.

Day two he had me organising some other surveyors diary. I'll fully admit, I'd zero experience speaking to people on the phone in a professional manner. I'd him in the background of the calls roaring from his office "don't give them an option! Say the surveyors at their house at such a time and that's it!". The clients could hear every word. I tried to explain back to him people have commitments, kids etc. Didn't like that at all. Took me off phone duties after one particular call I took when someone rang in wanting to speak to him. I said "please hold", he thought I'd put her on hold so roared back "tell her I'm not in!"...she then says "I can hear him!".. well that was awkward 🤣

Day 3 He sent me out to give keys to a senior surveyor. The actual company name was the senior surveyors, but the guy who hired me seemed to be running the business. Senior surveyor guy was sound, he was in the middle of a survey and was showing me his methodology. In the space of half an hour I'd picked up loads from him. And most importantly, he bloody hated the other guy.

Day 3 afternoon more of the same, answer the phones, arrange someone else's diary. Fail miserably as he'd be shouting at me while I'm on the phone to a client. That evening he sent me out to a shop to buy him a 6 pack. That's when I said eff this.

Handed in the keys the following morning. Even when I told him it wasn't working out and I was leaving he was a grade a Ass hole. In a really condescending voice he goes "am I being to meannnnn to you am I, am I being a too much of a bully to you am I?" I said no, I just didn't like the environment, and couldnt find nearby accommodation (that bit was true, 15k wouldnt get ya a bin never mind a bed) Good lord i wish i could go back and tell him hes a complete C.U.N.T. of a human being to deal with. I recorded the whole interaction and listened back. I sounded so meek and the time, I was drained of any confidence. Lesson learned if it's not a right fit get the hell out of there!

theteal

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119837993#Comment_119837993

You got paid???? That was our summer holidays!

I lasted one shift in a Spar back in my youth. In 4 hours I came into contact with so many scrotes that I had long since forgotten about, giving me the "awww howarya bud, not seen you in ages. . ." while trying to steal stuff at the same time. Yeah, not for me.

For actual full-time adult jobs, I did 6 months being "the IT bloke" in a factory in the town we now live. It meant no more commute into London and it was actually more money. It was terrrrrrrrible, how I lasted 6 months I still don't know. They were bought by quite a big automation company and it was going to be my job to modernise the fcuk out of them. Then it turned out the parent company were almost in as bad as state as the factory and there were contractual promises not followed up on. He came out to sign off on my probation and I made the conversation very short by telling I was hitting the road in two weeks - it was my first day back from annual leave (which of course I spent getting a job!).