Design the perfect WUM thread

If you were going to go to the dark side and become a troll / wind up lad, what would your first thread be?

I'm thinking "My BIL named his dog after me. What are my options?"

It's a totally daft premise, but also maybe a tiny bit credible.

"Poster who constantly calls people they don't like 'trolls' but embraces actual trolls" would be a good meaty one I think.

Leg End Reject

I would invent a "character account" with my buddies and pretend to be the opposite of my true self. I would post cliches with abandon and furiously report posts that disagree with my feigned viewpoints knowing that mods respond to reported posts rather than monitor entire threads. Then I would sit back and "lol".

Well, I would if my life was that sad.

85603

wtf is wum

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119750103#Comment_119750103

Wind up merchant.

wotzgoingon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119750103#Comment_119750103

woman under man.

I think he is trying to tell us he got laid.

I would play the aged poormouth to get free stuff, I would use this "woe is me" status to drop provocative comments all over the place, I would pretend I'm being attacked any time anyone so much as disagrees with me, be extremely passive aggressive, along with making use of fake religious salutations... and I would yet again use my apparent age and infirmity to run off and not answer difficult questions.

Nope, I was just trying to create a bit of a jokey thread about the kind of nonsense threads that are created on here all the time. Epic fail for me. Oh well.

No it's great Nudain - thanks, much appreciated. 😚

Leg End Reject

What about inventing a super-successful alter ego with a wonderful career, luxurious home, and unimaginable wealth? Maybe you've moved abroad and have a young, nubile wife?

In my BIL story, I was thinking I would eventually let it be teased out that my name was Leslie and he'd named his female dog after me.

StupidLikeAFox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119750175#Comment_119750175

You probably nailed it. A traveller / refugee complaining that they are only getting 30k a year in benefits on top of free housing etc, the boardsies would be foaming at the mouth

You all just need to come up with potential thread titles. That's the stupid game.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119750310#Comment_119750310

"I've Just Found Out My Hamster is My Birth Mother"

Do I keep spinning the wheel?

"I think my neighbour is moving my car. Could they do it without my keys?"

StupidLikeAFox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119750310#Comment_119750310

"My son thinks he is a boy but I don't believe him, what should I do?"

Quantum Erasure

Start a thread in feedback saying the site is being taken over by the alt right, sit back and enjoy

Ten of Swords

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119750028#Comment_119750028

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119750175#Comment_119750175

Mod - Leave it out

Sweet Talkin Romeo

post #7 is a bit harsh methinks - pretty obvious who poster is talking about there

Terrible examples so far.

Landlord in property and accommodation asking about raising rents in rent pressure zone or installing 4 sets of bunk beds in a room.

Asking about how to get an elderly dog put down - no point sending him to kennels when you are going on holidays so get it done now to save money as Centre Parks is expensive.

If Tubs got a late night TV show slot in the States then who should replace him on the Late Late Show? Suggest any woman or anyone currently working in RTE.

Adult men playing computer games for 20 hours a week - is it a sign of being a manchild?

The GAA is an entirely positive organisation that has added greatly to Irish society. Discuss.

etc etc.

anewme

Ah jaysus, no need for this at all.

Bad faith thread.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119750418#Comment_119750418

I think you win the thread.

Shield

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058267658/design-the-perfect-wum-thread

How about: “Those ‘Just Stop Oil’ protesters are so brave”?

knucklehead6

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119754192#Comment_119754192

This is the best WUM comment yet

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119750175#Comment_119750175

This post makes me sad and reminds me similarly of how the vultures came for a previous account when it was hinted that they might not be exactly what they appeared to be. And what was disconcerting about that, was posters who had engaged with them over several months, if not years in a what seemed to be a cordial manner became quite bitter and cynical once doubts were raised. The previous pleasant interactions were all forgotten in an instant.

There's been a few posters on here who displayed more depth to their character (truthful or otherwise) than most people generally do. Or at least showed a vulnerability much more than is common, invariably, it seems to not end well. The internet facilitates a viciousness which is a quite an ugly side of human nature.

This is an anonymous discussion forum on the internet, many people come to Boards (or at least used to) to become part of a community, for any number of reasons they might not want to disclose too much of their real world persona for fear they'll be identified and probably some do exaggerate their circumstance to some degree. But so what, it may have been an outlet for them or a place they felt accepted or appreciated or whatever and to see people relish the idea that they were some sort of Walter Mitty character is sad. Not least of all because its being done via their own anonymous account.

Burt Renaults

How do I make my wife's boyfriend respect me?

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119754407#Comment_119754407

Given I did not know what WUM was until another poster told us in this thread, that's not bad going! 😂

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119754424#Comment_119754424

I understand where you are coming from Tmh. I do wonder about those who have fabricated a false life for themselves on here. I've only encountered one who did it. I believe other suspects merely embellished and exaggerated.

The issue for some I think is feeling you had an online rapport, engaging with the person only to then realise they were a construct of their own imaginations. It can seem deceitful particularly if you yourself are well being yourself.

And I absolutely believe most of us around here are ourselves in so far as we don't claim to be what we aren't.

On another note and not related to the pretend accounts, but just to say that peoples kindness can be taken advantage of and that's not ok.

Quandary

That’s the best Utd performance of the season right there imo. Utd completely dominated that game from start to finish.

it was extremely encouraging and is hopefully a sign of whats to come.

absolutely delighted with that!

knucklehead6

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119768342#Comment_119768342

This one scores on a lot of levels

Badly Drunk Boy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119768342#Comment_119768342

I'd say United will even win back the fans that defected to the LOI!