Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

I get angry when other people choose not to have kids

  • 25-08-2022 3:38pm
    #1
    Undividual
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 495 ✭✭Undividual


    I'm in my mid 30s with a wife, 2 kids (hoping to have a 3rd / maybe a 4th) and a mortgage.

    Over the past few years, a fair number of friends and family have told me that they don't see having children in their future. For those who CANT have children, I can only sympathize. For those choosing not to have children, I really struggle to understand their point of view. A few female colleagues have said "If it happens, it happens." (which is the most flippant attitude to creating a person I can imagine).

    I think that, personally, children made sense of the world and life for me. Suddenly I had a purpose beyond pleasure/comfort seeking. The things that used to seem important to me seem ridiculous now. I'm embarrassed by how much I used to waste time. I now have 2 jobs, and am looking for a third in order to provision. Before having kids, honestly, I resented having one job. Also, there is NO feeling like my child greeting me when I come home. NO ONE is happier to see me than my children. When mine started learning things and speaking, that feeling only intensified.

    I basically think its selfish not to have children. In my opinion, it is taking your share without giving your share. Every person who will ever help you was raised from a baby to adulthood. That required SIGNIFICANT effort on the part of parents (and usually extended family). Both of my parents families often didn't have enough to eat. I think of all of the absolute MISERY that our ancestors went through, digging in the dirt for food, freezing to death, hunting wild animals, starvation, disease, war. regularly burying children, and other things too grim to contemplate. Even throughout those immense struggles, they managed to care for at least some of their children. Now, we allow the fact that we cant afford homes etc to prevent us from fulfilling our primary biological purpose, what the vast majority of parents consider to be their biggest achievement in life. Or people now simply can't be bothered with the effort required, and would rather play videogames, watch p*rn. or 'travel'.

    Nowadays there seems to be a lot of people who feel guilty for existing, for taking up space/resources, not seeing that they are part of the beautiful, chaotic chain that is humanity. I heard someone say the other day that it is selfish to have children (I can't recall being so angry at someone I never met before). Having children is never an evil act! Children are not bad! They begin life COMPLETELY PURE! They are YOU, x number of years ago.

    My mother is a carer and she often tells me about the last days of peoples' lives. I wonder do most young(ish) people seriously consider what their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and possibly 90s will look like. When friends have their own families to occupy their time, and there are less and less suitors knocking, and less desire to entertain them. How many holidays, pets, hours of videogames etc. does it take to feel content? We better pray there are robot carers (or willing immigrants) because there are simply not enough children being born to look after the ever-growing pensioner demographic. I dread to think how grim the world will be if we continue in the direction we are going.

    If someone had said all of the above to me before I had kids, I probably would've laughed it off or dismissed the person as a nut. I don't know why I feel so strongly about this. I think a part of it is the shock I felt as I discovered how many people see a minimal responsibility towards the future of their own society. A part of me would prefer if I didn't care, but I don't know how to turn it off. I'm posting this because I want to know what other people think, and whether I'm alone in feeling this way.



«134567…12

Comments

Advertisement