The awfulness of the "Be kind" social media mob

Some of the most vitriolic, spiteful bile is from this lot. They're not even above commenting on people's looks and speculating on their personal lives.

The recent death of actress Anne Heche has brought them out in their droves of late. It is possible to have compassion for Anne in terms of the struggles she experienced, while also acknowledging the circumstances of her death (dangerous driving, being under the influence). She crashed into a house and destroyed it, and people are so quick to handwave the experience of the woman who lived in that house - "The insurance will cover it", as if the insurance can replace all personal possessions. This was a comment I made to such a thread - nothing else, just that the insurance won't cover everything - and I got "That woman has more compassion in her little finger than you have in your whole body". For saying that the insurance won't replace everything - I didn't say one word about Anne. Then more generally there are the usual generic inanities like "I suppose you're perfect" when nobody (except probably them) thinks they're perfect, and we're hardly talking about mere imperfection here. "I suppose you never made a mistake" - a mistake is locking yourself out, or leaving your concert ticket at home.

These people come across as kinda sociopathic. There's an incredible venom to them. The really aggressive "What about the homeless?" lot seem like they're not caring people at all. It's just a stick they use to beat with. "Don't judge" types are extremely judgemental.

It's purely performative, and it's absolutely toxic.

osarusan

Death to people who post videos of themselves hugging the homeless or similar.

Strumms

‘ be kind ‘ aka…. “We can say what the fück we like, tear people down, defame them, libel them, bully them, harass them..

but as soon as they themselves are challenged, attacked, questioned or called out, they play tap the ‘be kind’ sign 😅

absolute dregs of society 🙂

growleaves

It was Ellen DeGeneras who first started saying "Be kind to yourselves and each other" at the end of every show.

Cancelled when it turned out she was a domestic abuser (beating seven shades of sh*te out of her lesbian lover), bullying her staff and failing to pay them money owed.

It is the catchphrase of hard-hearted phonies spreading a woke doctrine who want to be seen as compassionate.

The people who advertise (signatures, profile headlines, etc) #BeKind or similar, are usually the most toxic, intolerant, and narrowminded people I ever see. There's quite a few on boards, or any online space. They present themselves as passively encouraging a more tolerant society, however actively, they're anything but that themselves. The standards they apply to others are never applied to themselves.

Double standards are the rule with modern society. The hypocrisy is rather telling on most fronts, and the moment anyone points that out, they jump headlong into the victim category where they're not responsible anything they say. Which results with them shutting out any contrary opinions/viewpoints as being offensive, and unreasonable. All the while, the continue to spout their intolerant views.

Meh. Horrible people best challenged on their positions. Ignoring them has only allowed them to multiply.

Aglomerado

I had a friend who would do sleep outs for the homeless etc, but only if they were going to be photographed in the paper.

He also put a review of a local hotel on trip advisor but his review had nothing to do with the service/ staff/ food etc. It was all about himself and how he'd overheard an elderly couple in the bar talking about a big wedding anniversary they had coming up. So he bought them a bottle of champagne and made this his review of the hotel.

Behind the scenes he is an drunk and an abusive husband, an abusive friend (which is why I say I "had") and won't get a job even though he is qualified and experienced in various areas.

Leg End Reject

If I see #Bekind I assume they're an asshole. Looking at what they post only confirms that opinion.

For some here it's just part of their shtick, the same is probably true in other corners of the internet.

I'd also be willing to bet that the posters who preach tolerance are serial reporters of posts they disagree with.

riffmongous

 "This was a comment I made to such a thread - nothing else, just that the insurance won't cover everything - and I got "That woman has more compassion in her little finger than you have in your whole body". For saying that the insurance won't replace everything - I didn't say one word about Anne. "

Not a great example of what you are complaining about tbh

Floppybits

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119493678#Comment_119493678

I always find that these people who are telling people to "be Kind", "love God", "don't do this" are always the ones to watch, as most times they are the ones doing exactly what they are telling you not too do. We have seen it in this country with the Clergy and the charities, so much so that these charlatans have cast a doubt over the charities and we have seen what has happened with the church. Is there nothing to be said for treating people with a bit of respect and having a few manners but not having to tell the world about it. There is a saying "You have to watch the quiet ones", well I think "You have to watch the load ones even more".

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119493889#Comment_119493889

Why? "Kind" people were just dismissing the experience of the woman whose home and possessions were destroyed, and I merely said the insurance won't replace everything (most people have personal, sentimental possessions with an emotional value attached) and that was it. I didn't say anything critical of Anne Heche - I didn't say anything at all about her. And that commenter, in response to my ONE comment, said that the woman who lost her home and possessions has more compassion in her little finger than I have in my entire body.

So how did you come to your conclusion? It's a perfect example of what I'm talking about. And that horrible, nasty person is a perfect example of the kind of individual I'm talking about.

walshb

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058259471/the-awfulness-of-the-be-kind-social-media-mob

A bunch of what Holden Caulfield would call phonies!

Leg End Reject

No one would just shrug their shoulders if their home was destroyed. There's a huge amount of stress and upheaval involved in the logistics of contacting the insurance company, sourcing temporary accommodation and replacing your possessions alone. Not everything can be replaced on a like for like basis either.

walshb

Hugely stressful event for the homeowner, and if was me I’d be fooking disgusted with the person who did it. You can have compassion and also be raging mad at someone’s actions. It’s called being human.

growleaves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119493994#Comment_119493994

Yes and Jimmy Saville as well was a big religious charity person!

Jesus Christ told people to "give in secret" as he was warning against a religious form of showboating. People would go into the temples and pray loudly to show off how holy they were. Nothing changes.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494090#Comment_119494090

And yet the #Bekind types can't see that. It's beyond farcical.

Floppybits

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494036#Comment_119494036

This has to be one of the worst things are person can go through outside the death of loved ones. Yep a lot of the material things like the TV, fridge whatever can be replaced but there are things like photo Albums (I know, I know) or heirlooms passed down that just cannot be replaced and that can be more traumatic than anything else. We have seen what happens when some people lose their phones and have sentimental pictures on it. This shouldn't be dismissed with a shrug of the shoulders.

The "thoughts and prayers" brigade. I abhor them and their self righteous attempts at compassion which is motivated by positive attention on themselves. See also self proclamations of goodness, 'I do so much for others that I've no time for myself'.

I am wary of anyone who isn't capable of owning their whole selves. Sometimes kindness is given because it fills something in the giver rather than it being a sincere attempt to help another person.

I see it a lot on here aswell. Someone will post about a difficult time they are going through and receive plenty of 'how terrible'. Then in the same post the responders will go on to talk about themselves. Doesn't matter as long as they are seen to be supportive.

Hate it.

If you do care why not send a pm? Even if it's just to say I saw your post and wanted to acknowledge it and wish you well.

Stephen_Maturin

Agreed, the #BeKind crowd are generally incredibly caustic, puritanical and intolerant people ironically.

It’s more of a performative thing for them - what’s important to them is simply the appearance to others that they are “kind”, rather than kindness for kindness’ sake.

They clothe themselves in moral superiority. Maybe even believe it themselves, if only because they can’t be honest that they’re just as flawed and prone to err as everyone else.

Funnily enough it’s with people that have made a mistake, said the wrong thing perhaps, that they pursue with a burning passion, failing to show any of their supposed “kindness” at all. Again this is all performative, joining the mob lest you be thought to be part of the other side.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494010#Comment_119494010

It sounds like you dared to discuss the situation instead of expressing your condolences and hypocritical RIP wishes.

The eternally offended take this very seriously and will always accuse you of lack of empathy.

StevenToast

Ryan Tubridy is the king of the "be kind" brigade....

Hes the biggest fraud of them all.....

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494036#Comment_119494036

The woman reportedly said initially that she had lost everything - probably had to rein that in because of the bullies.

Yes, imagine your home going up in flames, narrowly escaping being killed, and all of the difficulties after that. I'm not saying nobody gives a sh1t about her, in fairness, but just the tone deafness in "The insurance will cover that". And she has pets whom she cherishes - not easy to find temporary accommodation, and how many days of work would she have lost? The commute, car parking, proximity to other places besides work. A life in upheaval.

Also, I don't believe for a second that there would be the same empathy towards an unknown person who did the same as Anne did. She had a difficult life (as do many) but only she made that choice.

CGI_Livia_Soprano

I happen to have #bekind in my signature, and I have often been the victim of the original poster’s jibes regarding the same so I think that I am qualified to speak on this matter.

I am an extremely kind person, my partner and our children worship the ground I walk on and I theirs. My partner and I also volunteer extensively for various charitable organisations.

I have been reading this discussion forum for a few years and I have noticed a shift towards the alt-right in the posters’ demographics.

Whether it’s because that they are soppy-headed useful idiots who swallow all of the propaganda from the snowflake rightwing brigade, or simply out of touch boomers railing against time passing them by, it is impossible for any neutral observer to deny that the demonisation of marginalised groups is rampant on boards.ie.

Being kind means sticking up to bullies. Bullies such as people who mock a certain female comedian’s appearance, people who want to platform Holocaust deniers, people who trivialise the experience of refugees fleeing war, people who deadname transsexuals, people who pour scorn on immigrants.

When I see this happening I will comment on in and confront the original poster. When a poster highlights his own hypocrisy (for example being extremely anti-immigration into Ireland while daydreaming out loud about emigrating themselves (ref: Klaz and Strumms)) then I will point this out and mock them for it.

Being kind doesn’t not mean rolling over and capitulating to loudmouths. I’m not some weak, milquetoast, civil servant type who needs to pretend that “there are two sides to every story” or play rhetorical, semantic games asking “of course you don’t mean ALL homosexuals.” When I see someone acting the cünt about immigrants, refugees, travellers, Africans, gays, trans people, women, rape victims, Jews etc then I will be kind to them and point it out. I don’t need to pretend to respect your point of view when you’re peddling hate speech.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494390#Comment_119494390

Imagine sitting down with an insurer assessor to try to catalogue a lifetime's worth of possessions? Everything from high value goods down to your knickers and socks, all the while just owning the clothes on your back.

How long would it take to demolish the wrecked house and rebuild? How long to finish that house then? Rooms in houses are usually kitted out with the bare essentials, but it takes years in most cases to add the finishing touches unless you go into into a shop and buy stuff for the sake of it.

Sentimental items are lost forever, and many of these have very little monetary value but are priceless to the owner.

What about the shock and panic when it happened? What about the stress that follows?

It takes an alarming lack of empathy to be incapable of acknowledging that.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494401#Comment_119494401

I'll give you one thing, that's comedy gold, just a tad over-egged mind.

maccored

lads do you not see the irony in posting pretty vile posts about people who you class as coming out with the 'most vitriolic, spiteful bile'?

is_that_so

Know very little about this but it seems it all started out as an anti-bullying campaign in education. I always find such things are more effective when people do rather than make catchphrases or hashtags out of them.

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494519#Comment_119494519

The thing is that so many people want to post vile comments with impunity, and they consider any opposition to that as an “unkindness.”

Like I mentioned before my signature has bekind in it and that is often misinterpreted to mean that I have to “be kind” to people who post absolutely disgusting remarks about marginalised groups.

These right-wing commentators (of which this site is flooded) just think everything has to go their own way, all the time.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494436#Comment_119494436

"There's worse off than you" to someone when they're going through a really tough time is gas-lighting toxic positivity. And I'm someone who believes in having perspective usually. But at times people just need support - not lecturing - and it's ok if they just feel bad, even if they're not e.g. living in a war zone. Loss is devastating - not just death (obviously that's the worst) but a breakup, a friendship ending, and absolutely losing one's home.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494539#Comment_119494539

Have you ever considered writing Comedy? Think Ross O'Carroll Kelly, but as a bleeding heart leftie, rather than a spoilt brat.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494519#Comment_119494519

Wouldn't be a Boards thread without contrarianism. 😊

Which pretty vile comments?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494491#Comment_119494491

Yes, I'm obviously not referring to people who have #bekind in their signature for the laugh. Only those who genuinely have no self awareness and think they're kind. I don't recall making a jibe at that poster either, or engaging with them in any way.

UID0

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494401#Comment_119494401

Whether it’s because that they are soppy-headed useful idiots who swallow all of the propaganda from the snowflake rightwing brigade, or simply out of touch boomers railing against time passing them by, it is impossible for any neutral observer to deny that the demonisation of marginalised groups is rampant on boards.ie.

I like how there's no option that they just don't agree with you.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494401#Comment_119494401

I happen to have #bekind in my signature, and I have often been the victim of the original poster’s jibes regarding the same so I think that I am qualified to speak on this matter.

Love the idea that other posters might be unqualified to speak on the matter. You have the #bekind in your signature, along with a statement of ignoring opinions that differ from your own.

When I see this happening I will comment on in and confront the original poster. When a poster highlights his own hypocrisy (for example being extremely anti-immigration into Ireland while daydreaming out loud about emigrating themselves (ref: Klaz and Strumms)) then I will point this out and mock them for it.

Daydreaming about emigrating? I lived 13 years in China, and will be leaving again for Asia towards the end of Sept. Although, I don't recall you mocking me for anything except my use of Italics and Bold in posts.. I do recall you throwing out the victim card, and disappearing when your views were opposed.

This thread really was made for posters like you.

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494668#Comment_119494668

I refuse to take anyone who emphasises words with italics seriously.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494675#Comment_119494675

Hardly the desired behaviour of someone who puts #BeKind in their signature. Pure hypocrisy.

Montage of Feck

Not enough dopes being called out for their stupidity if you ask me.

Is this thread entirely based off interactions on twitter? Am I reading that correctly?

NedsNotDead

Come on guys. Can we not all just #bekind

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494685#Comment_119494685

Thank you for fixing your formatting issues.

You lived in China for 13 years and yet you rail against immigrants/refugees into Ireland on this site daily. The behaviour of a classic Little Irelander. If you think pointing out your hypocrisy is “unkind” then I can’t help you.

As for the “disappearing” comment: you are aware that I don’t work here, right? I’m not obliged to spend 8 hours a day unspooling your over-written, over-formatted exhibitions of pedantry. Get a life, pal.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494704#Comment_119494704

Well social media in its entirety.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494761#Comment_119494761

Thank you for fixing your formatting issues.

I use italics and bold to place emphasis on certain words/phrases. That is called formatting.

You lived in China for 13 years and yet you rail against immigrants/refugees into Ireland on this site daily. The behaviour of a classic Little Irelander. If you think pointing out your hypocrisy is “unkind” then I can’t help you.

Black/white thinking. I criticise multiculturalism, the failures of integration, the elevation of cultural groups, etc. Not immigrants or refugees themselves (as groups). I believe that both situations with regards to immigration and the overall refugee situation could be handled better.. which is what I tend to discuss with others. Oh, and I've never seen you involve yourself in such discussions to counter my viewpoints on these issues.

I don't expect any help from you. You've shown yourself to be remarkably judgmental towards other posters.

As for the “disappearing” comment: you are aware that I don’t work here, right? I’m not obliged to spend 8 hours a day unspooling your over-written, over-formatted exhibitions of pedantry. Get a life, pal.

Throw out abuse, narrow minded opinions, and disappear when you're opposed on those views. That's not an expectation for you to stay on the site for 8 hours a day.. it's the expectation that you defend your views, and engage in a discussion. However, the truth is that I don't expect you to do any such thing. Not anymore.

You do realise that you're reinforcing/proving the points I made earlier about those who put #bekind in their sigs?

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494704#Comment_119494704

Seems to be. And of those I know in Real Life that have #bekind in their bio none are over the top in opinions. It seems to be just a thing to add because they saw it elsewhere. Like currently fashionable flags or whatever in their bios. We're a social animal so as part of that we will ape current trends no matter what they happen to be. If the same folks and social media were around in 30's Germany or the USSR no doubt most would have wee swastikas or hammer and sickles in their sigs and the Irish would sport miraculous medals. 😁

Morgans

The real authoritarians are the SJWs. I am so smart. The real freedom lovers are anti-trans, any-gay, anti-immigrant, anti-traveller, anti-womens-rights. But you never hear any of that ever voiced on here, because of the censorship. Again, I am so smart.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494928#Comment_119494928

Of course they're not the real freedom lovers. I knew there would be this (I suspect deliberate) misinterpretation. The "be kind" mob can be members of any political persuasion.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494675#Comment_119494675

What about incorrect use of "quotes"?

anewme

I don't really understand what the thread in general is trying to say.

Re: Anne Heche - there is nothing wrong at all in saying that "the insurance wont cover everything" in respect of someone who has had their home destroyed. Are the being kind people being kind to the lady whose home was ruined or to Anne Heche?

Anne Heche had a difficult life. That should not mean that the lady whose home was destroyed should not be distressed by her actions.

RabbleRouser2k

I think it was Jerry Springer who did the 'Be kind to yourself, and one another'.... even when that episode had featured people beating the living snot out of one another.

Laura Whitmore has a #bekind tag in her social media... she set the dogs on some journalist, who she named. Said journo had all sorts of abuse sent her way, a few death threats too. Horrific, nasty stuff. Respectable newspapers, such as the Washington post, came out in support of the journalist. And Whitmore was called out on her hypocrisy.

But tbh, this stuff has all happened before, it will happen again. We saw it with literally religion or spinoff of a religion, we saw it with charities that were pocketing the funds, such that homeless charity where the founder of the organisation was raping homeless men.

Or probably most infamously (in recent times) Lance Armstrong using a cancer charity for kids to 'dissuade' journalists from investigating the many allegations of him doping and cheating. 'But look at what he's doing for these kids'.

Happened before, sadly will happen again. Human's are flawed. To varying degrees.

Strumms

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494675#Comment_119494675

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #be kind

you couldn’t make it up.

EmmetSpiceland

Not too sure what’s going on in the OP, in relation to the thread “title”. Seems to be a complaint about their complaint not being taken on board by others, when there seem to be a bigger issue being addressed.

Anyway, with regards to the “be kind” side of things. Just seems to be a lot of anger out there. A lot of negativity too. I don’t see the harm in trying to spread a little positivity. Everything doesn’t have to be “doom and gloom” all the time.

The world is changing, “society” changes and, as always, certain sections of the older, and middle aged, members of society don’t like it. Some never accept it.

You get lots of talk about the young people not knowing what life is like and how they have it too easy, a sort of “I had to suffer so they should too”. It’s very unhealthy and extremely negative. Crab mentality stuff.

Unfortunately, these angry lads seem to outnumber the, more, normal users on sites like these. An outside “observer” viewing this site would be well within their rights to think Ireland was a backwards country that hated foreigners, LGBTQIA+, women, POCs and Muslims.

I never really get how some people can get so butthurt over others showing the slightest bit of solidarity with those in less fortunate “situations”. Or just trying to spread a little positivity.

Maybe they think “vice signalling” is cool, and edgy, now but that’s not very likely, considering lads in their late 30’s to mid 40’s bracket aren’t known for having their fingers on the pulse of what’s cool. Guess they just want everyone to be as stuck in their ways, and angry, as them.

Real kindness though, where we are respectful and make an attempt to understand or to be able to say that you don't, is so important.

I've come across in everyday life and online people who have strong views on mental health or rush in to offer support but it's conditional on who it is that's struggling. It's obvious in groups I think. If you fall out of favour or you drift apart. I don't know. Might need to think a bit more about that.

Although I do remember when my mam passed someone I hadn't seen in a long time reached out to me with condolences and I was very grateful for it. That no matter our differences you can offer kindness.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494401#Comment_119494401

^^^