Imagine You're A Burglar....

KaiserLu

..... and you're only allowed steal things that mildly inconvenience your victims.

What are you stealing?

Grayson

Teaspoons

Hayfever medication.

Condoms

Vibrators

The Continental Op

Coffee

Gregor Samsa

Having someone come into your house and remove the things that mildly inconvenience you would actually be a service worth paying for. I guess my cat would be gone.

The One Doctor

The Boards.ie server.

Their Boards.ie password.

magic_murph

insulin or inhalers. or possible all the remote controls or all the alarm clocks. or keys to house and car. or maybe all of these.

Sonics2k

Shoelaces

CreadanLady

Make sure to piss all over their belongings before you leave.

Sonics2k

Put some more thought into it.

• Yknow the plug on Christmas lights that disconnects. That. Leave the lights there.
• Remove the head from their toothbrushes. Leave that behind for them so they have to awkwardly brush their teeth.
• All the good phone chargers, leaving behind only those kinda broken ones you need to fiddle around with to get it charging right.
• Low beam lights from their cars.
• Bristles from their hairbrushes
• The wick from all their candles.
• The stand from the Christmas tree
• Tin openers

Quitelife

Never been a better time to be a burglar in Rural Ireland.

Most garda stations closed and on the highly unlikely off chance your caught the Judges would swallow any yarn and you ll be released in no time.

Jequ0n

Tissues and toilet paper. We have all witnessed the madness that ensues.

boardise

A few garden fork tines

TV remote

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119384250#Comment_119384250

I don't think you fully understand what inhalers or insulin are for 😁

StevenToast

Break into RTE and steal a living....

Theres plenty of them at it in there....

I wont name them, you all know who they are......

....the whole country is the victim and we are all inconvenienced.....

SuperBowserWorld

Toilet paper

Sleepy

Batteries from the remote controls.

The table salt.

Their last cigarette.

Strumms

the lightbulb from the refrigerator and one sausage.

New Home

All the batteries, including those for the smoke alarms, and I'd replace them with almost-but-not quite dead ones.

And I'd probaby find a way of removing the switch for the immersion, so that it'd be permanently on.

Gant21

Straight to the laundry room and soiled underwear.

fryup

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119384455#Comment_119384455

with laxatives in the milk for good measure😋

SuperBowserWorld

The TV license.

Technically not exactly "theft", but erase all phone numbers, passwords, and contact details from mobiles and PCs/laptops.

As an act of petty vandalism perhaps open all bottled and tinned food and drink. That and bribe a locksmith to change all the locks.

For stealing, take the blinds, curtains, window coverings, etc.

Badly Drunk Boy

Put the toilet roll on the holder the wrong way around. (You know which is the correct way!) And leave the toilet seat up if a female lives there.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119389058#Comment_119389058

Instead of deleting the phone numbers, edit them slightly by transposing numbers so they look almost right but still get a wrong number.

The Continental Op

If you see a keyboard swap the N and the M keys over.

KaiserLu

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119389637#Comment_119389637

Oooooooooh b*stard......

KaiserLu

Take the plate from the microwave...

El Tarangu

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119384446#Comment_119384446

☝️☝️☝️

This guy's sense of humour

freshpopcorn

Stuff that would be used about once a year such as a big pot for boiling a very large ham at Christmas, a tray for a very large turkey.

They probably wouldn't notice them missing until about Christmas Eve.

fryup

^^^^^^^^^^

got it! the Christmas decorations in the attic 😛

/thread

Steal nothing - but make it look like there was a break in- it will drive them batty trying to figure out what was stolen