Boss told Co worker about my mental health issues.

I returned to work last week after being out of work with depression for 3 months.

I had told my boss, who works in another office, the full story. I had a letter sent to her from my psychiatrist stating I was suffering from Bipolar.

Third day back one of the staff I'm in charge of said to me I heard you suffer from a mood disorder and attend a psychiatrist. I was fairly shocked. I would have went to HR straight away only I'm still finding my feet and a bit frail. I am correct in going to HR?

bucketybuck

What did you think they were going to say to the staff who had no supervisor for 3 months?

Gorteen

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119322740#Comment_119322740

Nothing except that the worker in question was on sick leave, would be my expectation.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119322740#Comment_119322740

Well not full health details disclosed in confidence. Every detail.

Staff had a replacement supervisor.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119322746#Comment_119322746

Exactly.

bucketybuck

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119322746#Comment_119322746

If this was in the work issues forum I would have said the same.

But in this forum I assume that the OP is not looking HR advice, but advice on how to handle the situation.

And so I make the point that only in a perfect world do such things remain completely confidential. In the real world if you disappear from work for 3 months somebody is going to speak to the staff you were in charge of, and most likely let slip indications as to why you aren't there.

So what do you do about it? Again, in the work forum there is one answer. But from a personal point of view that might not be the best answer. Is escalating things and making complaints against your boss the best choice right now? Will the Barbara Streisand effect come into play?

Is the OP correct in going to HR. That depends totally on what they actually want to happen or what is best for themselves.

Pissy Missy

Sorry to hear you're going through a difficult time. I don't have experience with this but you can do 2 things, either/or never tell boss personal business again (def a learning experience) and/or go to HR to seek advice. I think it can be tricky as boss could be a c u next tuesday type of person and make like worse but then at the same time they violated your trust.

mikeybhoy

How do you know it was your boss that told them. Gossip can get out easily enough.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119322842#Comment_119322842

No one else knew bar my family about the psychiatrist and Bipolar II diagnosis. My family live miles away.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119322814#Comment_119322814

Thanks. Well that it. Lots to consider.

Jequ0n

You might be better off posting this in work problems than here.

I don’t think it was a good idea to disclose the full details of your diagnosis with your manager but that can’t be reversed now. They absolutely should not have shared this information with your reports and you have every right to be annoyed. Why don’t you speak to your manager first before going the nuclear/ HR route?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119322986#Comment_119322986

True enough. I naively though she'd treat the info confidentially.

Best to speak to her.

Hannibal_Smith

Thread moved to Work Problems, which is probably a better place for it. Local Charter now applies.

HS

apache

Onoir, sorry to hear this happened to you. I went through something similar. If I had thought for one second that my boss had disclosed my confidentialty to my colleagues I would be rightfully very angry and definitely would have taken it further. Do indeed go to HR and demand to know why your personal details were discussed. It's nobodys business. A case for the WRC!

Strumms

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119322740#Comment_119322740

Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Management : ”Onóir is out of the business going forward and when they are due return you will be notified”

Staff : “yeah but why, what happened come on”

Managment : “ a temporary leave of absence, is what’s happening, that is the end of the matter and we do not and will not be discussing private details relevant to another persons employment “

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323114#Comment_119323114

Thank you apache. You're fragile enough returning anyway. Also the staff member telling it back showed poor cop on.

WJL

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058254021/boss-told-co-worker-about-my-mental-health-issues

The main thing is to recover fully first. Don't let this drain you. In a month or so when you ar back to yourself consider the various options. A chat with your boss, HR etc. If the issue is going to do more harm to your mental health it might be best to let it pass. Very best wishes and talk to those close to you. Your boss was 100% wrong.

Count Dracula

Op, before I post my comment, I just want to empathise with you and your mental health struggles. Bipolar is an extremely difficult condition to treat, endure and manage. I wish you all success and good luck with your treatment and I hope everything works out for you. It is an extremely brave decision to take the 3 months off and try and improve your condition, but it is an excellent decision you have made and you made a great choice in tackling your condition head on, well done.

I would start looking for a new job immediately. Your boss is an asshole for starters and life is too short to work for assholes, especially the kind of prick your boss is. He is an asshole on more than one count also, which kind of mires him and makes him even more insufferable. There is no way anyone else could have been made aware of your condition, he was solely responsible for respecting and protecting your medical confidentiality. Why would you want to work for someone who does not respect you?

Your secondary issue here is, why your boss has opted to disclose your condition to your colleagues? Do you think he has any sinister motivations in acting so "irresponsibly"? Do you think he may have leaked your condition to colleagues as a way of undermining your authority or competency?

It is kind of polarised. He is either a total moron who blabbed your illness to the entire office, or , he deliberately did it to unsettle you in your job.

Why should you bother working for such a person? It cannot possibly ever benefit you and it will only cause you more problems with your condition, which you are well aware is extremely difficult to endure.

Get a new job and move on.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323292#Comment_119323292

Thank you very much, very kind post.

Yes I have put up with other stuff from this lady over the years. There's an element of undermining, pulling me down.

There's an EU related trip every 6 mts. Myself and 3 others are the next grade beneath. The other 3 have all been asked by her to go on this expenses paid trip to various cities bar me.

When interviewing for new staff the 3 peers have been asked to interview with her bar myself.

I moved into the head office, where she works, a few years back and was given an partitioned area to work in away from all the same grades that staff were joking I was out on the road!

In Covid I wrote articles that were well received online for work, some of an historical nature. They got excellent feedback from peers and the public. She took them down from our website, saying one photo breached copyright! Supposedly. 1 photo out of 25 articles but they were all pulled and the whole section.

If I was to go further into it I was failed an interview (on what I knew was my strongest section) for a job I acted up several times. I had 17 years experience and someone with 1 got it.

The door is always closed and lots of whispering in the inner office where she has her 2 cronies with her. Other staff speak of her rudeness.

Really time to move on.

I would consider this a serious breach of your privacy, and wouldn't hesitate to make a formal complaint to HR.

Your manager was totally in the wrong for divulging anything personal about you or the nature of your illness to anyone else.

And while the best you can probably expect is a grudging apology, I would certainly make sure their cards get marked so they never make the same mistake again.

Even if your colleagues were speculating aabout your absence, your boss should never have said anything to them other than, "I can't discuss it, its confidential."

And if a manager can't manage that in the face of gossipy colleagues, then they shouldn't be managing any staff.

osarusan

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119322740#Comment_119322740

Madness that you'd expect them to assume that something so private would be revealed.

A real insight into how you'd handle such information I guess.

MrMusician18

This is actually a very difficult situation and I sympathize with you OP. While ideally it is time to move on after such a breach of confidentiality, it will really depend on your recovery in the near term.

If, for example, you find a new job and your condition flares up requiring time off work again, this may be during a time whilst you are on probation. Whilst absence through long term sickness can be grounds for dismissal (it's a common misconception that this is protected) it is a bit of a drawn out process. You won't have the protection of the process whilst on probation.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323504#Comment_119323504

Probably say 'he's out suffering with his nerves'🤣

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323505#Comment_119323505

Very. When you're strong it's easier fight.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323428#Comment_119323428

Thank you.

In fairness, you don't 100% know for sure how your colleague knew the reason for your leave. A chat with your manager first, maybe? Rather than a formal complaint to Hr.

Strumms

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323578#Comment_119323578

that would give the manager if they are guilty.. ‘wiggle room’ and time to plan a defence.., a heads up as they know what you know.

the vast majority of managers dislike HR as much if not more then frontline employees…

when they get the invite to the chat they are already behind the 8 ball. Don’t let them play safe.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323578#Comment_119323578

I definitely do. The colleague had the location of the psychiatrist. Got that from the letter heading. Other detail that was in the letter. My 90 year old mam and brother, 30 miles away, are the only other people who knew.

Besides she said ****** told me on the phone! Then the colleague pleaded with me not to get her in trouble.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323640#Comment_119323640

Sorry but it sounds like your colleague will not back you up when it comes down to it. They realised too late that they had slipped up, so you will be short of evidence.

Ask for a meeting with your manager and your HR lead because they will have been informed of your condition when you disclosed it. Do not tell them why you are seeking this meeting. Get legal advise before you do this because this has been a serious breach of privacy and very unprofessional behaviour.

WJL

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323712#Comment_119323712

Agreed. Work colleagues, naturally enough, want to protect themselves. May need the boss for future promotion hopes etc. OP should do as you advise, I'd agree.

apache

FFS, that's terrible. A total breach of confidentiality. I'd lodge a formal complaint but I know it's easier said than done. Your manager is totally out of order.