When is it appropriate to physically attack someone?

Christine Neville

Yes it is very unfortunate that most of the time this act happens is when some drunk in a group targets some randomer. Leaving that aside, is it ever appropriate to do this? Do you believe that one should stand up for themselves, but not get violent? What's the point if you know the person is going to just laugh or turn their back on you? 

Do you think that the men who Chris Pinchers groped regretted not punching him for it? Having to carry the memory of it as they watched him over the past couple of years must have been hard. So why didn't they? Well because we're so unused to not acting that way, that when the time comes that we need to it, we don't know how to go about it. Why is it hard to do it? Firstly you know everyone is going turn around and think that you've gone psycho. Secondly, because there's that voice in the back of your head saying "oh you'll need this person for your career"; which stays in your head until eventually you realise that you don't need your career so badly that you're willing to sacrifice the principles of who you are. Then you begin to wonder what was the more prominent reason for not punching the person; "was it because I thought I couldn't? or was it because I didn't have the courage in me?".

What if at the exact moment when Pincher's groped those men, that some magical voice whispered in their ear "hey, you know that very rare moment when need to just give a guy a punch? well that's now!". What would have happened? He would - most likely - have got the crap kicked out of him. Those men may have even got sacked for it, or pretended they regretted their actions, but I doubt there would be any regrets! But the message society gives us is that we should never get violent. Just as like in that movie 'Green Book' your man says; "you don't win with violence as you lose your dignity". It must be confusing for men to hear things like this... especially when it's such a good movie.

Last time I'd to punch someone was at a college ball many years ago when someone in my year acted out of line. He was the son of one of the professors so he was a massive c*nt. We were passing opposite ways and as he got closer I went to say hello as you do. He of course had to express contempt for me so he sarcastically shouted my name and put his hands up to my face to grab my cheeks. I blocked him thinking that was all I'd have to do, but he kept trying to get in. I went for it! He was drunk so I thought it would be easy but he fought back a lot harder than what I expected. It didn't really matter as nothing beats a sucker punch, and we were both pulled off each other.

For those of you who remember the seen in 'Crash' (2005) where the cop gropes a man's wife is another very relevant seen to this topic, but I digressed. Anyway, have you ever regretted not punching someone?

Vestiapx

Your a psycho

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058253912/when-is-it-appropriate-to-physically-attack-someone

and we were both pulled off each other.

Fixed your fantasy story to a much more plausible description

Christine Neville

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119319119#Comment_119319119

A psycho would be someone who lacks empathy. I believe what you're trying to say is that I'm bitter, that I have anger issues, or that I over-analyse or something like that. That's fine, we'll leave it there.

Jequ0n

What a load of waffle.

You are always justified to attack someone if you feel it’s the right thing to do. Just be prepared to deal with the consequences.

Christine Neville

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119319497#Comment_119319497

That's quite a dangerous thing to say JequOn! What one person might 'feel' is justified might be very different to another. What if the wrong person heard you say that?

If you want to act as the guy leaving a helpful comment why not share your opinion on whether you think the MPs being groped is actually an example of such a matter being justified? Or on my experience being justified.

Vestiapx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119319151#Comment_119319151

Hurting a person for being drunk shows a lack of empathy. If you feel in danger run away and if you feel someone had broken the law call the cops.

If someone tried to get drunk and pinch my cheeks I'd headbut them but my whole demeanor suggests that so that wouldn't happen. When it comes to dealing with people like that I'm a psycho.

You seem to wish you were but lack either the fortitude or the physical attributes.

Reported.

Don't reply lads.

kirk.

Ya you

Christine Neville

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119319747#Comment_119319747

I seem to wish I was a psycho, or wish I was groped?

I think I might look about as intimidating as young Chris Martin, so if that means I don't have the physical attributes then fair enough. I didn't intend to attack him as such; it was meant to be no more than a punch which he asked for, and which you said you'd do too. I didn't do it to him because he was drunk, as you say. 

And if I really don't have the physical attributes, then doesn't that mean I've all the more fortitude within me in order to still go for the fella?

Konny Rool

Sounds like you had right on your side OP ☺️ Fair play 🤣

Violence is rarely the answer, unless it's also the question imo

Bobblehats

When they're least expecting, probably 🤷‍♂️ who knows.

BrianD3

If you have assets or are in a certain career, hitting somone may cost you dearly.

I heard from a usually reliable source that among the South Dublin professional set, a punch in the face will result in the puncher making a minimum 10 grand payout in return for brushing the incident under the carpet. I don't know if there is a similar payout for groping someone's arse.

Only in self-defence. Laws should be respected. But I love how people talk tough about defending their wives honour in these kinds of conversations. Fact is, if Dwayne the Rock Johnson made that joke at the Oscars, it's safe to say Mr. Smith would not have been so bold.

McGinniesta

In self defence would be my go to.

If anyone attacks me then I'll hit them back. If they hit me first there's a very good choice I'll be retaliating with a left jab followed by a solid right hand.

McGinniesta

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119321024#Comment_119321024

That is true in certain circumstances.

However, sometimes you have to thik about the consequences of being hit.

The more I learn how to defend myself - and the more confident I get in the % of fights I would likely win if I were to get in one - the more I proportionately know that my response to a "self defense" situation would be to first try to retreat and get the hell out of there, and failing that second would be to appease or otherwise dispel the situation. If I have to get physical to resolve the situation I see it as a failure.

The exception of "defending my partners honor" is not one that has ever made sense to me. Firstly because I do not see my partners' honor as being something so fragile they require me to protect it on their behalf. Secondly because quite often a guy acting under the rubric of protecting the honor of his wife is actually protecting his own bruised ego - vicariously taking personal offense by proxy at something directed at someone else. I struggle to think of anything anyone would or could say to my partners that would lead me to wanting to get physical with them - or why I should be expected to.

So yes I am capable and willing of using violence if I have to - but it will always be the absolute last option on the list after I have explored every other viable option in the context itself. But context is everything.

Comer1

When you are on a GAA football field, or so it would seem🙄

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119331148#Comment_119331148

I see you're a grammar Nazi as well as being a regular one. 🙄

Mad_maxx

If they physically threaten you , I remember years ago being physically threatened and I dared him to put his money where his mouth was ,he turned away but I still should have taught him some manners and sort of feel shame for tolerating such disrespect, being involved in combat is good for males, society conditions us into believing the opposite of course but that's just because a pacified population are so much easier to govern

Feisar

When you cannot run away, go to the mattresses.

Edit - however, understand that there will be consequences.

Christine Neville

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119331071#Comment_119331071

What's the point in learning self defence at all if all you have to do is back down in order to avoid a fight? That's all most tugs want anyway, is to make you feel like they might potentially attack you in order to up their own confidence. Any time I've needed to fight it was always for my ego's sake.

Also, apart from being in physical danger, would you get violent for other reasons... like if someone groped you?

Apiarist

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119336146#Comment_119336146

There are many points to self-defence.

If someone grabs you, self-defence techniques can help you to free yourself. If someone tries to punch you, you will be more aware and may avoid it if you know how to fight. And if you are truly in a position where you cannot escape, then you can fight.

If someone groped me, and I didn't want it, I would report it to Gardaí. They may not do anything that time, but the offender will be recorded.

CreadanLady

If someone disrespects yer oul wan.

Galwayguy35

I never raised my hand to anyone in my life but I did get nutted by some guy in a nightclub years ago.

He must have thought I was someone else because I just literally walked into the place minutes before and as for getting back at him it just wasn't going to happen with my nose pumping blood and eyes full of water.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058253912/when-is-it-appropriate-to-physically-attack-someone

"Last time I'd to punch someone was at a college ball many years ago when someone in my year acted out of line. He was the son of one of the professors so he was a massive c*nt. We were passing opposite ways and as he got closer I went to say hello as you do. He of course had to express contempt for me so he sarcastically shouted my name and put his hands up to my face to grab my cheeks. I blocked him thinking that was all I'd have to do, but he kept trying to get in. I went for it! He was drunk so I thought it would be easy but he fought back a lot harder than what I expected. It didn't really matter as nothing beats a sucker punch, and we were both pulled off each other."

That would be a perfect example of when its not appropriate to physically attack someone.

B.A._Baracus

Usual Boards response: Only if you're being attacked!

Reality: Of course self-defense is a given. But there is behavior that deserves a punch. Many level headed people naturally won't because they think of the consequences and you have to be smart. But your mouth and actions can get you in to trouble. Especially your mouth - only so much a person can take. People can break.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119328570#Comment_119328570

Oooooh, you're hard!

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119336385#Comment_119336385

The question was, when is it appropriate? You didn't really answer that.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119336341#Comment_119336341

Nice to have a bit of honesty. Most men always round their stories upwards to appear tougher. You just gave an unvarnished account. I like it.

j2

Too many stories of people dying/getting seriously injured/ending up in court to make it worth fighting if you can avoid it. If it's to protect yourself do enough to get away or stay safe, but clobbering people doesn't really have a positive outcome. Unless you're in the gym with a pair of gloves on.