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Introduction on Tinder

  • 22-06-2022 10:24pm
    Registered Users Posts: 151 ✭✭ jobseek


    New to tinder/online dating apps, just wondering should i just introduce myself in first message with a match on Tinder. reading a lot of rubbish online as to what teh best approach is. I think an introduction with a bit about myself and my interests, do i leave it at that, or also suggest meeting if the OP is interested?


    Post edited by jobseek on


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,737 ✭✭✭ cena

    As a guy I wouldn't mind an introduction from you. I find it hard to what to say when it comes to tinder

  • Registered Users Posts: 151 ✭✭ jobseek


    Just to clarify, im a guy, asking in ladies lounge,as I thought this would be the most appropriate place for my question.

    I went with my gut, introduced myself as outlined, things seem to be going ok, or at least i think they are. Seems interested, share common interests, Leading to my next question!

    When do you ask to meet, whens too soon, when too late. I find there is only so much you can ask/talk about through texting.

    This may be the wrong approach, i dont know, but im thinking, it might be best to meet as soon as possible, once you have some picture/Idea of the person you are chatting to, their interests, where they're from, what they do, etc

    Whats your thoughts? Im lost as to what to do. Dont want to mess it up, but at the same time, I think I have to take a chance if I think the feeling is mutual!(i.e I think shes interested)

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,853 ✭✭✭ Pissy Missy

    I think it's very person dependent, for me (bk when I used dating apps) I liked to get to know the person over a course of at least a month, video call is great because it helps to give you an idea of body language and also if you're being cat fished etc. I wouldnt be in a hurry to meet someone, but everyone is different. When/if it feels right, ask if they want to meet up, that could be casually for lunch or something romantic or fun like bowling. And if they say they'd like more time, respect that. If you come across forceful on meeting someone, that may well be a turn off and the end of the chats. But if you feel they're taking the piss with your time, then maybe you should move on. Prob safer to meet in a public place to be safe on the first (or first few) date(s). Can I ask what age you are with being new to online dating? Try your best not to over think it (easier said than done of course)

  • Registered Users Posts: 151 ✭✭ jobseek

    When you say its person dependent, how can one know what the other person wants, i suppose without asking?

    You mention, coming across as forceful, i dont see this as being applicable, or in the way I see it, i dont see it being the case if asking straight out, "would you like to meet, suggesting a location/activity". The other person will give a response, either accepting or not?

    Maybe its just me, but I think meeting them face to face, there is more to be learned,achieved in doing that, even with a video call, its still not a true representation of either person, for me anyway id be much more comfortable in talking to a person face to face.

    Early 30's,

    I think i have a decision made/my mind made up, in terms of what im going to do

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,853 ✭✭✭ Pissy Missy

    When I say it's person dependent, I mean it depends on the person, there's no same rule for all.

    When I say coming across as forceful, I mean in the case where the girl says no to meeting up when the guy asks, but the guy isn't taking no for an answer n keeps asking it and being pushy about it or forceful. Asking once is not forceful.

    Definitely do what makes you more comfortable, if that's meeting face to face rather than video call, go for it.

    Glad you're feeling more decisive, hope things go well with the one you're chatting to atm 🤞

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  • Registered Users Posts: 151 ✭✭ jobseek

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,113 ✭✭✭ raclle

    Congrats on actually getting a response. Personally I'd rather meet up sooner rather than later. Most women are already chatting to a few different guys and the longer that goes on they tend to lose interest but that's only from personal experience

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,874 ✭✭✭ purplecow1977

    I'd opt to meet sooner rather than later. No point having a pen pal and then meeting and discovering you're not a match at all! Much easier to get a better vibe off someone in person. A coffee can be as short or long as required ;)