Cuan mhuire advice

Jamesyboid88 · 20-06-2022 10:21am #1

I'm expecting to spend the 3 months in cuan mhuire athy alcohol addiction just looking for a dvice

how much is it?

what facility is there

are rooms shared

just a bit nervous going in

MikeCairo78 · 20-06-2022 2:23pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058250993/cuan-mhuire-advice

I spent three months there in 2019. After one slip in August 2019 I am sober, taking each day as it comes. It was the best decision of my life, it literally saved my life and now three years later my family life is wonderful and we have just gotten on the property ladder. In response to your queries

€150 a week, if you have health insurance you can claim, I didnt.
There is little enough by way of facilities. The gym was shut when I was there through "antisocial" behaviour. There are no phones / electronic devices allowed. No newspapers etc. TV was allowed at the weekend, but you end up not really missing it. I didnt and dont watch tv at all anymore. I read a lot though, and you will have plenty of time to read!!!
Rooms are either 2 /4 / 6. When you arrive you will detox and that is sharing with 12

I did StPats in 2018(recently discovered the cost was €48,000, which was an absolute waste), and it was literally a holiday compared to Cuan Mhuire, my other half called it a holiday camp and sure enough I was falling off the wagon.

Your days will be filled and the time will fly. People bang on about the religious element. Ignore them(I did) I am not religious, and took what I needed, the four pillars and live a sober life these days. You will meet some good people from all walks of life.

Best thing that I ever done.

Sigma Force · 20-06-2022 10:28pm

I agree with Mike mu oh is now 5 years sober. Cuin mhuire worked for him because no1. He wanted to go, he wanted to get sober. Now he didn't plan on not drinking again he just wanted to stop feeling so sick and to get off the roundabout. 2. He let the religious stuff slide, wasn't his thing but he still attended everything anf threw himself into it. 3. They start you off slowly and when you're feeling better you get put to work u have responsibilities and because recovery can be tiring there's enough to be doing. I think he started with kiutchen work but he wasn't happy with that and finally got to do woodwork which he's great at. He is still sober but hasn't dealt with a lot of his issues and suffers from depression. So it's important to realise that getting sober is an amazing start, staying sober is very possible as long as you are willing to talk. Not everything at once but gradually you get more comfortable with it. Just chatting even to others in there can help, hearing their stories etc. If you are on social welfare that covers it with a little spending money.

Jamesyboid88 · 30-06-2022 6:49am

Thanks for your help lads. Going in Tuesday

Sigma Force · 30-06-2022 4:39pm

Fair play! The very best of luck 🍀

NiceFella · 30-06-2022 6:02pm

My Mam went many years ago. She is sober now thankfully.

Yeah I'd say do plenty of reading and working on yourself. Bring a diary to take notes of how ye feel each day to note your progress etc. Its very important to reflect. Plenty of books that will be great for your journey. Best of luck!

MikeCairo78 · 01-07-2022 8:08am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119269929#Comment_119269929

Best of luck with it it can be truly life changing

Jamesyboid88 · 23-09-2022 10:04pm

Well lads I’ve finished my 3 months programme in cuan mhuire Athy and it was truly life changing. It was an amazing journey. In transition house now and moving forward ☺️ Jim the plank Tom and mark creighton are some characters.

4Ad · 23-09-2022 10:11pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119657808#Comment_119657808

Brilliant news.Fair play to you.Hope it all goes great in the future..

Well done.

Sigma Force · 24-09-2022 4:10pm

That's fantastic news! The best of luck in your now brighter and more steady future can only get better from here, keep up with accepting support when you need it and look after yourself

MikeCairo78 · 03-10-2022 8:46am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119657808#Comment_119657808

How are you now ! ! ! Well done and truly a new life awaits.

Jamesyboid88 · 07-10-2022 1:09pm

I’m doing pretty good at the moment. I’m just in a transition house now and things are going very well

severeyno · 02-01-2023 9:28pm

My partner has just entered Cuan Mhuire Athy for alcohol addiction and I am looking for some advice/answers. I didn't get much information on what's permitted or time to discuss what will happen next/timeline of the programme when they were admitted. My partner's GP had started them on a detox in the 4 days before entering. The detox period is a week then inside Cuan Mhuire was my understanding and then begins the remaining 11 weeks of the programme. Is that right? When does the 1 to 1 counselling start also?

Any first hand information on how it works with communication through calls and letters would also be great. intend on trying to call to get this information again this week from Cuan Mhuire but there no answer today on the phone - I guess it was because it was a bank holiday. I'm hoping someone here on this thread has firsthand experience to help give me peace of mind.

MikeCairo78 · 03-01-2023 12:38pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057792#Comment_120057792

In respect of what is permitted, not sure what you mean, not much truth be told, there are no phones / tablets / laptops / newspapers. You are allowed one phone call a week, and visits at the weekends. Family will then go in three times over the period(I think) for some form of group meeting, not sure what goes on there, as residents dont attend. One on one sessions only comes in around week 7 / 8, and tbh is not the most important thing, that is something that can be followed up by the person when they come out - I still do a monthly session(nothing to do with Cuan Mhuire). What is most important is that your partner is going in with an open mind and is going in for themselves and not as a means to keep other people happy. The 12 weeks follows a set programme, week 1 detox through to week 12. As I have said before, saved my life, I was completely on my knees and had tried other places / programmes before I went there. I hope it goes well for your partner

Jamesyboid88 · 03-01-2023 6:16pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120057792#Comment_120057792

I’m only out of athy 3 months today. First week is detox so there will be no calls on that week. 2nd week you should be able to contact your partner. Two phone calls a week. Cuan mhuire will contact you the first time to confirm with you. I’m not sure about visits if they have changed but it’s usually a visit every second week Saturday and Sunday 1to1 counciling usually starts week 7 but group councilling is from week 2 onwards twice a day. It’s an amazing program. I’m 6 months sober today.

severeyno · 03-01-2023 6:50pm

Thank s @Jamesyboid88 and @MikeCairo78 for your answers it really helps. Wondering if you found it helpful when people visited you or did it make things harder? We want to make sure he does it for himself and not just to keep the family happy as you said yourself so hard to know if visiting will be helpful or not. We want to support not hamper things.

MikeCairo78 · 09-01-2023 8:51am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120061209#Comment_120061209

Hi there - for me it was a godsend - my partner and two kids(5 and 4 at the time) came down every weekend - I was very lucky. It didnt make it harder, and if anything it helped everyone through the process

severeyno · 10-01-2023 11:53am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120084473#Comment_120084473

Thanks for this response @MikeCairo78 - when visiting, do we need to leave phones in the car? I'm hoping to visit Saturday or Sunday but supposed to be on call for work both days and there is no cover available.

MikeCairo78 · 10-01-2023 12:33pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120089383#Comment_120089383

Hi there, up to you I suppose - I was happy to be out of contact with everything so though my other half had her phone with her I never asked to use it / look through it / catch up on social media etc. You are not searched etc nor are you told to leave your phone in the car. Each to their own, but I was happy to be away from everything - I was absolutely broken going in there and it does take a while to start getting fixed again. Phones were not on my horizon ! ! !

severeyno · 12-01-2023 11:35am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120089560#Comment_120089560

Thanks @MikeCairo78 he has no interest in seeing a phone either but it will give me piece of mind knowing that if a call comes in from work, I can answer it.

Interested to know in terms of aftercare and post-completion of the 12 weeks how they worked with you on getting set up with further help. I know there's AA meetings but are they able to help with getting follow up counselling, do they work with you on a plan for when you leave?

Wanderer78 · 12-01-2023 11:48am

look after yourselves folks, a horrendous experience id imagine....

MikeCairo78 · 12-01-2023 12:09pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120097919#Comment_120097919

Recovery is all about personal responsibility. It is your recovery and no one else's. I suppose I am saying that you cant do it for your partner. Aftercare is run twice a week, and I went for two years. AA is all over the country, and can be good, but I would give you a warning that certain meetings wont suit certain people and your partner might have to "shop" to find a meeting that suits outlook etc. My own experience was that once the alcohol dependency has been dealt with proper programme in place, EVERYTHING else simply becomes much easier. This wont make sense to someone unless they are also in recovery. Life goes from an unmanageable shitshow to a level of mundane manageablity. But you cant do it for them, it has to be done by themselves. I speak with an addiction counsellor once a month / 6 weeks, mainly so that I can keep a check on myself. This is something that I sought out, and not something that would be provided by Cuan Mhhire, though I am sure that an arrangement can be made on a personal basis with whatever one/one counselling he gets inside.

Sigma Force · 04-02-2023 1:09am

I didn't realise the first week was no phone calls so I'd phoned a few times.. They must of thought I was a real nuisance. But eventually we got the just of the rules. I know it's hard not to worry about them but really they need that 1st week to be left alone and to go through the detox process and adjust. Us interfering even if it's meant we'll doesn't help. In truth we do it because we find it hard to detach. But what I eventually told myself was.. Hang on he's in there he's being looked after by professionals he has access to all the basic stuff good food (love the dinners there) company and counselling and support so why am I worrying. Its time to look after myself.. And that's so important their time there is for them, in those 3 months it's your time to fill your needs, go to support groups. It doesn't mean you can't be involved. I visited every weekend unless somethings changed (been nearly 5 yrs) visiting was allowed sat and Sunday. Once a month you can go to the family meeting/talk where they explain the process more to you it's worth going to plus you get to talk to other people going through the same thing. It's only for families/loved ones not for residents. Phone calls were so few that resorting to letter writing can help but supportive letters and stuff that they might be interested in. Not letters that focus on any hurt they've caused that's something they've to deal with already in there through their own AA steps etc. Over time though you should find you can speak more openly with them and they become more honest if the programme is working for them. It's a tough road on both sides. He found visitors something to look forward to but tbh he'd get tired and lose energy if visits were too long. As long as u encourage them and support them that's wjat really helps but it's their job to sort themselves out and your job to take care of yourself. Tbh the first few weeks when they come out of rehab is so stressful unless they're sticking with meetings, getting the support they need from professionals etc. The first while trust is so hard to build back up you even imaging e you can smell drink on them eventhough they haven't touched a drop. You can become paranoid about all sorts while they are oblivious because they're still working their programme and we forget to work ours. So it's OK to be selfish, it's important to be selfish for a time. Talk about how you're feeling or what things have cropped up to make u worry to friends/families etc. But all in all it is so worth it when it works out. He's built his life right bavk up near 5 years sober, got licence bavk, full time job, that sneakiness and selfishness has gone. Now there's still some issue so make sure you and they stay in contact with your gp if you're struggling esp. If they're a good one. Ours was a total life saver in so many ways. One of the few people he'd listen too. Anxiety can play a huge roll in addiction and that anxiety doesn't go away altogether when sober. It definetly improves though. Hope this helps a bit, long post but I can't emphasise enough how important it is for you now to use this time to concentrate on taking care of yourself.

severeyno · 11-02-2023 8:35pm

@Sigma Force thank you so much for your post. Cuan Mhuire so far seems great. He is really doing well in there and engaging with them.

As for me, I am doing my best to focus on myself. Like you my mind drifts a lot to him but have to reassure myself that hes in the right hands and just focus on myself. They are working on plans for him for when he finishes but still worried about when he comes out and how he will do. A lot of trust to rebuild with all of his friends and family, a lot of bridges have been burnt. Curious if your partner did the aftercare with Cuan Mhuire and what it was like?

Sigma Force · 19-02-2023 11:14pm

I think he went to just one aftercare meeting which really annoyed me that he refused to go again and refused AA meetings except one or 2 at the start. After all the work we'd both put in. I know even for us Al anon meetings can get a bit dreary at times, somnetimes downright depressing but other times they're a real life saver just have to find a meeting that suits you doesn't have to be an Al anon one. He's refused all counselling which stressed me out so much but so far he's doing great. I think he's has the drink nailed on the head but needs to work on other areas which he's refusing to do. So I would definetly encourage the aftercare meetings all the same, ever addict is different what works for one might not work for another but if he's willing to go encourage them all the way. After near 5 years sober I still probably think about him relapsing way more than he does but it gets less over time. It's hard to shake it off completly

Darmac84 · 13-06-2023 10:13am

Hi can I ask what way visiting works we have female family member in and no visitors till 24th 25th June they said and only female visitors that time, she in there two weeks now her partner was wondering when he can visit, they won't give him much info

MikeCairo78 · 14-06-2023 10:30am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120708686#Comment_120708686

She must be in the new female unit. When I was there it was the second weekend(which I assume ties in with above) when visits were allowed. There was no restriction regards to sex of visitor, but they might do the ladies unit differently.

Sigma Force · 23-06-2023 8:58pm

Unless the rules have changed she should be allowed any visitors she's settled in.

mazdamiatamx5 · 15-07-2023 10:43am

Regarding Cuan Mhuire Athy, does anyone know do they have a library with books and board games (Scrabble and the like) in the facility? What is the weekly fee if you're on the dole and is there a small shop for buying cigs etc? Are you allowed buy fizzy (non alcoholic) drinks and chocolate with your allowance?

john4135 · 15-07-2023 10:52pm

Any more updates guys any more information??

answerseeking · 18-07-2023 10:19pm

Thank you all for the above info. My partner only went in there and I have to say I absolutely hated leaving him there. It’s so upsetting to walk away and hope they are going to be ok.

i had loads of questions and the above helped a lot