Visiting friends at dinnertime

HerrKapitan

When I was a kid, if I was at my friends or neighbours house and their dinner was ready, I was expected to wait in another room or preferably leave while the family had their meal.

And it was likewise when friends visited my home at dinnertime, unless they were specifically invited for dinner.

This is something that I presumed to be the norm. But in Sweden it has become another target of the woke, that it is racist to do so. It is trending as 'Swedengate'.

Perhaps this is a Culchie thing, or have some of you city folk starved your neighbours too?

Jim_Hodge

If their dinner was ready then so was mine, so I'd head home for it. We were rural (culchie? Really?) and I've never heard a scenario like you gave. An odd time you might stay and they'd give you dinner. Never had to leave the room.

riffmongous

Never heard of that before, in fact the complete opposite was usually the case, guests would be very well treated and dinner plans would be altered to make sure they are accomodated

Baybay

Usually would have been asked was I hungry or going home. If the latter, a plate would be on the table for me, otherwise I’d head home for my own family’s dinner. Worked both ways with friends. Sometimes depended on the game we’d have been playing or if it was summertime.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119156683#Comment_119156683

Same in my house. If someone comes at a mealtime and haven't eaten, we include them.

CrookedJack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058248750/visiting-friends-at-dinnertime

I don't know how you turned this into another woke culture war thing. Is everything different now woke to you?

Anyway, when I was growing up, if a friend was over before dinner had been started to be made, then they'd be offered a seat at the table. If they arrived not long before it was being served then they wouldn't. Probably because we had a big family and small budget.

sam t smith

Bloody Swedes, at it again.

Panthro

A typical scenario down our way was more likely to be the mother asking the question "Have ya had yer dinner?"

Not really wait for a response, get an extra plate and put it on the dinner table. "You'll have this".

Ahh the good auld days.

Jim2007

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058248750/visiting-friends-at-dinnertime

Are you planning to move to Sweden? Otherwise what difference does it make to your life?

EmmetSpiceland

Dublin here, we’d have had “unwritten” rules like not calling into someone between 6-7pm or before 9am on the weekend, unless it was for sports reasons.

If you happened to be in someone’s house before dinner you’d, more than likely, be asked if you wanted any.

Another one, when we got older, was not to call a house telephone after 10pm, you might push it to 10:30pm

fergiesfolly

Do ya remember the old days, when things were simpler and we didn't have a panic attack at every little facet of living normal every day lives.

It's like people nowadays crave any sort of drama, just to add some excitement to their dull drab existence.

It's a beautiful day OP. Go on out for a walk for yourself. Clear the head, enjoy the world around you. Get some perspective. Don't fret on anything more important than the next step you take, or where to get an ice cream cone.

Then, call to a mates just before dinnertime...

growleaves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119156698#Comment_119156698

It is trending as a woke culture war talking point on the internet and that poster just pointed it out.

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2022/06/11002795/swedengate-explained-black-twitter-reaction

https://www.albawaba.com/node/swedengate-sweden-racist-country-1478817

EmmetSpiceland

It should be noted that eating in a friend’s house often came with certain “pitfalls”. I remember certain occasions where I’d have been served terrible stuff.

Rubber burgers, tinned peas or a steak sandwich that turned me off “rare” steak for the rest of my life, the plate was swamped and the bread soaked. Ghastly business.

Made you even more grateful for the meals at home.

Donald Trump

OP. Were you a hideously fat, or very ugly, child that perhaps would just have put them off eating their dinner to have you visible in the room?

Nobody wants to have the enjoyment taken out of eating that hard-worked dinner by having the sight of Fatty McBlubber sitting in the corner putting them off their meal

@EmmetSpiceland

As kids, my Mam would never let us call to a friend's home when it was coming up to dinnertime, and if we already there and could see their dinner was ready, we were to leave and come home, without having to be told.

That being said, in our house, she always had extra "in the pot" if anyone was in the house while we were having our dinner and would never send anyone home. She was very generous that way.

@EmmetSpiceland - my daughter and I had a disagreement about phones / text only the other day. I said its rude, but she feels texting at any time is fine and thinks I'm being ridiculous for refusing to call / text anyone after 10pm. We agreed to disagree. Generational differences!

Jim_Hodge

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119156926#Comment_119156926

What the hell has having dinner at a mate's got to do with racism? This country's gone mad.

I think it's a bit mad to move to another country, expecting the natives to change their culture to suit yours.

If you don't want to adopt the culture of the country you're in, fine. But expecting them to adopt yours seems a bit odd to me.

Hermy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119156910#Comment_119156910

Ah yeah, the good old days - when all of lifes problems were just swept under the carpet.

sam t smith

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119156910#Comment_119156910

Yeah, like those threads where people won’t answer the doorbell if they aren’t expecting someone.

The not answering the phone if the callers number is blocked or unknown to you is somewhat understandable if you are regularly getting scam calls but still.

John_Rambo

If there's kids with my kids in the house or garden they get fed.

Anyone that refuses to feed kids in a situation like that is a dose.

HBC08

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119157114#Comment_119157114

Yes,this massive racist problem in Sweden needs to be highlighted and then people need to lose their sh1te online about it.

I'm boycotting IKEA and wont step inside a Volvo unless I really,really have to.

raclle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119156997#Comment_119156997

How is this still up? Are we allowing insults now

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119276588#Comment_119276588

'twas a genuine question in an attempt at resolving the OP's dilemma.

boardlady

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119156854#Comment_119156854

I was Dublin too and my mother was a bit weird about this sort of thing. She probably called it 'ettiquette'. If I was in someone's house and they were eating, she expected me to come home - and vice versa. This was the neighbouring kids. I live rurally now and I will always ask whoever is there do they want eat with us - I ask early if I know I won't have enough! Generally, I'd only have the few fillets etc defrosted.

boardlady

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119157006#Comment_119157006

I'm with you too here Loueze. We were never allowed phone anyone after 9pm - or before 10am I think. If the phone rang outside these hours, there was a panic - it must be an emergency! I'm still a bit like that with the mobile. I'd send a whatsapp etc later than 9pm but I wouldn't dream of asking them to actually speak to me at that hour 😆

Hermy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119276474#Comment_119276474

I prefer SAAB myself.

corner of hells

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119277049#Comment_119277049

This one ?