family law

spongbob

i know i should not be asking for advise online and I should consult in a solicitor, truth is I cant afford one and I have applied for legal aid, i will know in 1 - 2 week if I am approved

i feel i dont have anything to hide, and I will keep it as private as I possibly can, I also know there must be some % of solicitors using boards.ie and if so, maybe one could kindly guide me to what to do next, such as MensAid ect

i was in a long term 20 year relationship that recently ended, we have x amount of children together under 16 of age

She threatened me Saying get out of the family home, and take a look at it before you go it will be the last you will ever see of it, I don't know if that alone is classed as a threat or a promise ? this was on a Wednesday , and by Monday I received a call from a Garda working in the court service informing me of a summons to be served on me for a Domestic Violence , I was sick to the tummy and was in complete shock

The papers were served, she wrote a note and attached it to the papers, asking the Judge to please keep her safe and our children safe. this was on Monday lunchtime - what I find profoundly strange If she wrote she was in fear of her safety and our children's safety signed in front of a judge!! - Then why did she think it was a good idea to drop the kids over to the house I was staying at alone, and leave them with me at 6pm 6 hour later - the very same day the papers were served

Please Tell me - that a judge will see through her lies and stop this nonsense! I have never raised a finger to any woman or person in my life, i have 2 children that will contest to this :( I have to attend court next month in front of a family law judge.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, legal advice is not permitted on boards.ie for the simple fact we or you have no way of verifying the source. So you may ask for advice from a solicitor and could receive advice from a 16 year old TY student and know no difference.

I will leave the thread open for others to offer opinion or their own experience. But nobody can tell you how this will go and the only advice is to wait to talk to a solicitor and make sure you are represented by one in court.

kaymin

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058245812/family-law

Yes the judge will see through her lies. Gather as much evidence to support your position - whatsapp messages, witness statements and your own sworn affidavit to present to the court / judge. I'm not a solicitor btw but have experience of the family courts.

Were the gardai ever called by her or were you ever questioned by the gardai about an assault? Does she have medical records to prove she attended hospital / GP? If not this should also demonstrate that she is lying and should be raised during the court hearing.

Don't leave the family home either unless you've been ordered to by the courts.

[Deleted User]

Sounds like an initial safety order. There will be a full hearing within a month allowing you to state your case.

In general stay strong, stay calm, do not allow you buttons to be pressed in or out of court. Any encounter with your partner from now should have a witness(to protect you from further allegation, and to confirm she has dropped the children to you). suggest unless dire family emergency communicate by text only.

Beg borrow and steal to have legal representation for the hearing. Solicitor will ensure your case is presented and discourage baseless allegations in court.

Deja Boo

Perhaps there is Single Fathers group in your area, which supports rights for fathers in custody battles, etal ?

maestroamado

Do nothing... don't even attend court... see how she likes that...

I expect almost every person in relationship in Ireland as i think bad language in row with your partner can be domestic voilence...

I had a friend a few years ago who was accused like you... he refused to parent the children until the charges were dropped... they never were... but a few Months later she brought him to court because he was not sharing the parenting... she got what she wanted...

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059595#Comment_119059595

I assume you mean protection order? They would have also had to file a barring or safety order.

She possibly just went full barring.

Hannibal_Smith

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059614#Comment_119059614

If a court summons is served on you OP do not ignore it.

Get legal advice. Keep a note of everything, including her dropping the kids to you after you'd received the summons. While you're waiting for the legal aid board to come back to you see if there is a FLAC service up and running near you. They used to run clinics, but not sure what effect Covid has had on it all.

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059724#Comment_119059724

Court is for people who break the law... if the person did nothing ignore... he cannot be arrested...

penny piper

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059813#Comment_119059813

It would be a bad idea to suggest to someone to ignore a court summons.....

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059843#Comment_119059843

A person cannot be summonsed to court on the word of another person who is not a law enforcement officer... this is a request... its not a summons... what law did the persomn break...

Caranica

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059813#Comment_119059813

Criminal courts yes but not family law courts. People have to go there for all sorts of reasons.

OP engage with the court proceedings, it will go against you in the future if you don't.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059813#Comment_119059813

This is incredibly poor advice.

The OP has to attend Court. The Court take their power to compel people to attend Court extremely, extremely seriously. It is absolutely vital that if you are summoned to Court you attend. I can't overstate how idiotic your advice is.

If he doesn't attend Court, he may not be arrested but the Court will proceed in his absence to make whatever Orders his ex is looking for.

Anyhow OP, I used to be a family law solicitor but left it as it was too depressing. Your best option is to get a solicitor you can talk honestly to.

In Court, you will have a very short window to convince the Judge of your side of the story. Ime, it's always good to create a good impression by turning up on time, in clean clothes, presentable etc. Sounds like a minor thing but you'll literally only have a few minutes to create an impression so stack up everything you can in your favour.

Good luck

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059862#Comment_119059862

How would it go against ... thats sh1te... if you break the law you go to court... she will get the barring order... what does she do next... as ik said earlier i know a person who refused to engage and refused to take the children and it worked... why the fcuk would anyone go to court to defend a false alligation...

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059882#Comment_119059882

Thats absolute fcuking rubbish... what would the person be charged with?? why would anyone want to impress a Judge if they did nothing wrong...

penny piper

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059852#Comment_119059852

The person wants to get his situation sorted. It's in his interest in a family law court that he shows he has complied with everything asked of him.

Ignoring things requested of him ie not going to court is not the way to go about it.

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059897#Comment_119059897

You said it is a summons... it is not... before you said sjummons... now you say request...

It is in the interest of the family law court... it is not likely to help the OP or his children... family law is not law...

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059886#Comment_119059886

Sounds like the OP wants to resolve this without using his children as pawns as well though.

Your friend was very lucky that it didn’t backfire on him.

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059910#Comment_119059910

It is the woman who is using the children... how could it backfire... he did nothing wrong... this is not Russia...

The children now know as he still has the summons? she lost all credibility with them...

Why would the OP go to court to defend a lie... it would give the lie some credibility by attending...

Hannibal_Smith

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059852#Comment_119059852

The OP says the papers were served.

OP, again, do not ignore a Court Summons. Get legal advice to help you decide what to do next.

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119060036#Comment_119060036

What's the OP charged with?? it is not a court summons if there is not an offence committed...

OP decide what you think best... i am not giving advise i am stating what happened...

Donald Trump

OP, you can also go to the court and ask the judge about his oath and tell him you are a freeman of the land and he has no jurisdiction over you the real person.

Come back and tell us how you got on when you are eventually released.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059894#Comment_119059894

He doesn't have to be charged with anything for her to get a barring order against him, which she's presumably going for in Court. It would be extremely foolish for him to follow your advice.

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119060066#Comment_119060066

If there no charge there is no requirement to attend court... In the instance i refered to earlier she got her barring order but it worked agains her as it did not go as planned for her...

When there was noone to fight with the game was over...

It would be alot more foolish to defend a false alligation and by attending court the Judge has the opportunity to make a judgement on something that didn't happen...

Is this what Irish Justice stands for... I am not offering advice but some others here seem to be including you...

donegal_man

Advising someone not to attend Court to answer a summons has to be some of worst 'non advice' I've seen on here.

OP, do not ignore any documents issued by the court.

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119060111#Comment_119060111

There is absolutey not a summons to attend court... there is no need just let them make the ruling in your absense... there are no consequences for not attending...

I am not offering advise... i seen this happen... the person can advise... people here are saying summons... its not...

Tork

So what are you offering if it isn't advice? You've been repeatedly suggesting/telling/urging the OP that he shouldn't turn up to court because he hasn't broken the law. You've also got an anecdote about what your mate did (if it is indeed a true story). Your posts are reading more like rants against the legal system we have. It's incredibly dangerous advice to be proffering to somebody who's in a tricky position at the moment and who has to deal with the fallout from the breakup in real life. You, like the rest of us, just have to step away boards and continue on with your day. He has to live with this.

OP, back on topic. I can't emphasise enough how important it is for you to have legal representation and to comply with the courts. I have a relative who's going through something like this with a volatile ex who has concocted some vicious stories along the way. That's where you need someone with a cool head. In the case of my relative, the judges have seen through the ex's lies but it's debatable how much of a win that has been.

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119060234#Comment_119060234

You and your lot said its a summons... anyonw who doesn't agree is on a rant and likely telling lies... i doubt if you know the difference...

He hasn't broken the law and you guys are saying he has by saying its a requirement to attend... it is not a summons...

You should start another thread about the legal system and we can tell you how wonderful you are... i expect that will be a lively chat...

@maestroamado please stop. Will all due respect, you obviously know nothing about how Safety, Protection or Barring Orders are granted or how the Family Courts operate. If you want to start a discussion on the legal aspect, start a thread on Legal Discussion. (sorry mods, not trying to mod, but it needs to be said).

Non-attendance at the Court on foot of these proceedings would result in any order his partner has applied for being immediately granted to her by default.

OP, if your were called by a Garda, it appears your partner / spouse (?) may have already had an ex-parte hearing in front of a judge. You are not in a good position. She is playing hardball. Did the Garda advise if any temporary order has been granted?

Whatever you do, attend the court, and seek legal advice. Please also contact Mensaid Ireland.

If you feel you are being railroaded you can also contact Womensaid - don't let the title fool you, they will also offer advice and assistance to men.

As also mentioned earlier in the thread, FLAC offer specialised FLAC Family Law Clinics.

Inform yourself on what constitutes "Domestic Violence", so you are prepared to answer anything you may be accused off at the hearing.

Domestic Violence is a lot more than just physical abuse - emotional abuse, manipulative or controlling behaviour can also be classed as DV. (That is not me saying you are guilty of these things - just that you need to be fully informed).

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119060085#Comment_119060085

It absolutely would be foolish to not tell your side of the story rather than giving the ex a free run.

Say the OP's ex gets a barring order, what does the OP do then? He'll probably be barred from living in the family home. If he breaks it, the Gardai will get involved and force him to comply with it etc.

I don't think you are even being "well meaning but ignorant" here, i think you have an axe to grind against Family Courts or some such.

maestroamado

It doesn't matter as he is gone from the house so let her have her order... she has then to make the decision whether the children see their father as she and the court has stopped this right if the order is granted... The court has no right to any of this... you guys all know this... its bacically a sham system...

I will not stop talking to please a shower who know whats going on and cover up same for money... If he breaks the barring order that is a summons... We need to work around you guys...

Can you enforce the in camera rule on boards...