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family law

  • 14-05-2022 12:55am
    Registered Users Posts: 665 ✭✭✭ spongbob

    i know i should not be asking for advise online and I should consult in a solicitor, truth is I cant afford one and I have applied for legal aid, i will know in 1 - 2 week if I am approved

    i feel i dont have anything to hide, and I will keep it as private as I possibly can, I also know there must be some % of solicitors using and if so, maybe one could kindly guide me to what to do next, such as MensAid ect

    i was in a long term 20 year relationship that recently ended, we have x amount of children together under 16 of age

    She threatened me Saying get out of the family home, and take a look at it before you go it will be the last you will ever see of it, I don't know if that alone is classed as a threat or a promise ? this was on a Wednesday , and by Monday I received a call from a Garda working in the court service informing me of a summons to be served on me for a Domestic Violence , I was sick to the tummy and was in complete shock

    The papers were served, she wrote a note and attached it to the papers, asking the Judge to please keep her safe and our children safe. this was on Monday lunchtime - what I find profoundly strange If she wrote she was in fear of her safety and our children's safety signed in front of a judge!! - Then why did she think it was a good idea to drop the kids over to the house I was staying at alone, and leave them with me at 6pm 6 hour later - the very same day the papers were served

    Please Tell me - that a judge will see through her lies and stop this nonsense! I have never raised a finger to any woman or person in my life, i have 2 children that will contest to this :( I have to attend court next month in front of a family law judge.



  • Administrators Posts: 12,361 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ Big Bag of Chips

    OP, legal advice is not permitted on for the simple fact we or you have no way of verifying the source. So you may ask for advice from a solicitor and could receive advice from a 16 year old TY student and know no difference.

    I will leave the thread open for others to offer opinion or their own experience. But nobody can tell you how this will go and the only advice is to wait to talk to a solicitor and make sure you are represented by one in court.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,419 ✭✭✭ kaymin

    Yes the judge will see through her lies. Gather as much evidence to support your position - whatsapp messages, witness statements and your own sworn affidavit to present to the court / judge. I'm not a solicitor btw but have experience of the family courts.

    Were the gardai ever called by her or were you ever questioned by the gardai about an assault? Does she have medical records to prove she attended hospital / GP? If not this should also demonstrate that she is lying and should be raised during the court hearing.

    Don't leave the family home either unless you've been ordered to by the courts.

  • Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]

    Sounds like an initial safety order. There will be a full hearing within a month allowing you to state your case.

    In general stay strong, stay calm, do not allow you buttons to be pressed in or out of court. Any encounter with your partner from now should have a witness(to protect you from further allegation, and to confirm she has dropped the children to you). suggest unless dire family emergency communicate by text only.

    Beg borrow and steal to have legal representation for the hearing. Solicitor will ensure your case is presented and discourage baseless allegations in court.

  • Registered Users Posts: 13,069 ✭✭✭✭ Deja Boo

    Perhaps there is Single Fathers group in your area, which supports rights for fathers in custody battles, etal ?

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    Do nothing... don't even attend court... see how she likes that...

    I expect almost every person in relationship in Ireland as i think bad language in row with your partner can be domestic voilence...

    I had a friend a few years ago who was accused like you... he refused to parent the children until the charges were dropped... they never were... but a few Months later she brought him to court because he was not sharing the parenting... she got what she wanted...

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  • Registered Users Posts: 16,720 ✭✭✭✭ Donald Trump

    I assume you mean protection order? They would have also had to file a barring or safety order.

    She possibly just went full barring.

  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,162 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Hannibal_Smith

    If a court summons is served on you OP do not ignore it.

    Get legal advice. Keep a note of everything, including her dropping the kids to you after you'd received the summons. While you're waiting for the legal aid board to come back to you see if there is a FLAC service up and running near you. They used to run clinics, but not sure what effect Covid has had on it all.

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    Court is for people who break the law... if the person did nothing ignore... he cannot be arrested...

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    A person cannot be summonsed to court on the word of another person who is not a law enforcement officer... this is a request... its not a summons... what law did the persomn break...

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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    How would it go against ... thats sh1te... if you break the law you go to court... she will get the barring order... what does she do next... as ik said earlier i know a person who refused to engage and refused to take the children and it worked... why the fcuk would anyone go to court to defend a false alligation...

    Post edited by maestroamado on

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    Thats absolute fcuking rubbish... what would the person be charged with?? why would anyone want to impress a Judge if they did nothing wrong...

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    You said it is a summons... it is not... before you said sjummons... now you say request...

    It is in the interest of the family law court... it is not likely to help the OP or his children... family law is not law...

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    It is the woman who is using the children... how could it backfire... he did nothing wrong... this is not Russia...

    The children now know as he still has the summons? she lost all credibility with them...

    Why would the OP go to court to defend a lie... it would give the lie some credibility by attending...

    Post edited by maestroamado on

  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,162 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Hannibal_Smith

    The OP says the papers were served.

    OP, again, do not ignore a Court Summons. Get legal advice to help you decide what to do next.

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    What's the OP charged with?? it is not a court summons if there is not an offence committed...

    OP decide what you think best... i am not giving advise i am stating what happened...

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  • Registered Users Posts: 16,720 ✭✭✭✭ Donald Trump

    OP, you can also go to the court and ask the judge about his oath and tell him you are a freeman of the land and he has no jurisdiction over you the real person.

    Come back and tell us how you got on when you are eventually released.

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    If there no charge there is no requirement to attend court... In the instance i refered to earlier she got her barring order but it worked agains her as it did not go as planned for her...

    When there was noone to fight with the game was over...

    It would be alot more foolish to defend a false alligation and by attending court the Judge has the opportunity to make a judgement on something that didn't happen...

    Is this what Irish Justice stands for... I am not offering advice but some others here seem to be including you...

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    There is absolutey not a summons to attend court... there is no need just let them make the ruling in your absense... there are no consequences for not attending...

    I am not offering advise... i seen this happen... the person can advise... people here are saying summons... its not...

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    You and your lot said its a summons... anyonw who doesn't agree is on a rant and likely telling lies... i doubt if you know the difference...

    He hasn't broken the law and you guys are saying he has by saying its a requirement to attend... it is not a summons...

    You should start another thread about the legal system and we can tell you how wonderful you are... i expect that will be a lively chat...

  • It absolutely would be foolish to not tell your side of the story rather than giving the ex a free run.

    Say the OP's ex gets a barring order, what does the OP do then? He'll probably be barred from living in the family home. If he breaks it, the Gardai will get involved and force him to comply with it etc.

    I don't think you are even being "well meaning but ignorant" here, i think you have an axe to grind against Family Courts or some such.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,426 ✭✭✭ maestroamado

    It doesn't matter as he is gone from the house so let her have her order... she has then to make the decision whether the children see their father as she and the court has stopped this right if the order is granted... The court has no right to any of this... you guys all know this... its bacically a sham system...

    I will not stop talking to please a shower who know whats going on and cover up same for money... If he breaks the barring order that is a summons... We need to work around you guys...

    Can you enforce the in camera rule on boards...