Things not to say during interview

Ubbquittious

*Did you ever put someone on a PIP?

*Did you get a nice power trip out of watching them suffer and squirm while on the PIP knowing they wouldnt survive it anyway?

*Every job inevitably turns to sh1t after a few months/years, how will this one?

Please add to list as you see fit.

Who is up for the ride in the office team?

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058245506/things-not-to-say-during-interview

What's PIP?

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051260#Comment_119051260

Performance Improvement Plan/Programme

I once attended an interview from 6pm to 7pm. It went fine and on conclusion I said thanks for staying late to interview me.

The employers response was 'sure this isn't late for us'.

Thanks but no thanks

frosty123

What can you bring to this company??

---> 'my lunch' 😙

(I actually said that, in a car-crash interview)

Andrea B.

If I won a life changing lotto, I would do the odd interview just to see how far I could go.

As in, bring them right up the garden path and then start rolling up a ciggy while telling them about my 5 year plan....

Gregor Samsa

I once told an interview panel (for a graphic design job) that I had started my own country. In my defence, I had flags and posters for the country I had founded in my portfolio. But I was hoping that they'd concentrate on the quality of the art and layout, rather than the viability of the country. Instead, they couldn't let go of the fact that I had indeed declared my front room to be an independent country, and that I wasn't doing this to make money, and they ended up getting quite annoyed with me as they quizzed me about what the fúck I was up to.

It didn't help that I was suffering from a very bad case of food poisoning from eating a battered sausage out of a puddle the Saturday night before (someone threw it at me and I ate it in defiance). So I had spent the prior 2 days between the bed and the toilet without any food, before falling into the interview first thing on the Tuesday morning pumping sweat and barely able to stand up.

Naturally, I didn't get the job. But it was the last interview that I didn't get.

Donald Trump

Nice tits

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051606#Comment_119051606

"Grab em by the pussy"

Andrea B.

Winking.

One Who Waits...

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051606#Comment_119051606

No doubt your namesake has said that to an interviewee on numerous occasions...

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051642#Comment_119051642

Namesake?

Don Jr?

I wouldn't let that tool near an interview

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051260#Comment_119051260

Personal Improvement Plan. Basically, if you're not doing so well during your probationary period, you might see it extended and given some new objectives to meet. It's more often than not the first sign you're about to be let go.

I worked for a startup once and they pulled this nonsense. I met my objectives so they made a few things up and let me go anyway.

Are you allowed to ask about work-life balance these days?

NedsNotDead

This one time, at band camp

Ray Palmer

Was in an interview and they proceeded to say how they expected to size the workload without the project being defined. I explained I can make an educated guess with the available information but it won't be accurate. Proceeded to say that the funding on the project would be determined by my estimates. It went on with them explaining how if I got it wrong I would be expected to work late if I under estimate while saying they fired the last guy because his estimates were so high.

The interview ended when I said " I don't think you understand that you are planning to undercut the big players while paying your staff less and expecting them to work unpaid overtime. Within a few months you will lose all the experienced staff members stuck with inexperienced people who can't get another job."

They took massive offense and thought it was unprofessional of me to express such a view. I had 10 years more experience than these 2 guys combined. Told them I was warning them to leave because the boss was exploiting their inexperience. When I was leaving I saw several people I worked with before. They all gave me the eye of "don't work here". We all spoke and I explained the interview to them, I would have been their boss. They were all looking for work and were worried how the company could go on as they had so few clients and they were all way beyond time frames and they were losing money on them even though staff were all doing free overtime. Company hemorrhaged staff within a few months and they couldn't hire anybody experienced because the word was out. They had to hire contractors to complete the work because none of the staff were experienced. Closed within 8 months of the interview.

Met one of the guys who interviewed me in work as he was hired by another company that worked where I was working. After a few weeks we spoke and he said I was 100% correct. He had spent most of his time apologizing to customers. He was also a junior BA as opposed to a senior BA he was in the other company.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051696#Comment_119051696

Are you allowed to ask about work-life balance these days?

I usually explain to them that my balance is fine.............I just get a bit wobbly when I'm pi$$ed........which is most of the time

silliussoddius

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051780#Comment_119051780

So you're saying you didn't fit into their team player culture.

chrissb8

"I picked this career because it was the only thing I could think of that would pay very well and wouldn't want to me make me blow my brains out after a couple of years. Otherwise, I would simply sit around getting fat and being happy"

"I will never do anything more than what we discuss here as my responsibilities and what was advertised on the job spec. Think of me as a product who is fit to do a certain amount of allocated tasks and nothing else."

Ginger83

Where do you see yourself in five years? In your seat 🙂

sam t smith

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119054916#Comment_119054916

Not ambitious enough.

Deja Boo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051631#Comment_119051631

I actually did this once. I have no idea what made me do it (nerves probably)... Needless to say, it didnae go well.

sam t smith

https://youtu.be/hPfVIoB9C0c

Don’t take advice from Renton (or Spud) anyway.

trashcan

Interviewer - “What would you say is your biggest weakness ?”

Interviewee - “Honesty. “

”Interviewer “I wouldn’t think that’s a weakness.”

Interviewee - “Well, I don’t give a f@€k what you think !”

sam t smith

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119054936#Comment_119054936

I was trying to remember the start of that one. 😂

sully123

Doin' yer...... son?

fryup

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119054916#Comment_119054916

'hopefully not here' - if the place is a kip

Sleepy

"ah... so this is what you do for the day job" and wink at the interviewer...

silliussoddius

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119054936#Comment_119054936

My biggest weakness is my lack of knowledge of Greek mythology.

It’s always been my Achilles elbow.

TheIrishGrover

Was interviewing someone and they asked "What's your policy on training? 'Cos I'd like to train up as much as possible and then move" I think they thought it was meant to demonstrate how ambitious they were.

Another interviewee attended while sitting at his desk in work (Video interview). Simply muted us while he talked to his colleague at least twice and then returned as if nothing happened. No apology, explanation, nothing. It actually looked staged as if they were trying to demonstrate how critical they were and everyone relied on them. Came across as arrogant (Well, ACTUALLY came across as pathetic but TRYING to be arrogant :) )

NewbridgeIR

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119054936#Comment_119054936

Or the guy who answered "I knew you'd ask that so I came prepared" and pulls out a typed list of his weaknesses, 55 in total & starts reading them out.

1. Unable to focus on bigger picture
2. Creates a climate of fear of failure
3. Blocks mobility of talented staff
4. Claims credit for the work of others............

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119058093#Comment_119058093

Seriously?

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119054934#Comment_119054934

..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkYHNO2vNG4

Lewis_Benson

Can you pay me now and I'll start next week?

NewbridgeIR

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119058165#Comment_119058165

Yes. He got a heads-up the day before that someone else’s name was on the job so knew he wouldn’t get it anyway.

Jequ0n

Recently a standard interview question of “what would you do in a situation where..” was energetically answered by “I think in this case I would consult my manager”.

At least it was a quick fail and not much time wasting.

the_pen_turner

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119058692#Comment_119058692

how is that a bad answer . unless the situation was a normal part of the job ,

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119058771#Comment_119058771

Why would I want to hire someone who comes running for help as a first response?

fryup

'how many sick days am i allowed?'

pgj2015

Stumble in half-cut and say Jesus they do a fcukin serious pint of Guinness in Madigans.

when is your rag week by the way?

sam t smith

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059178#Comment_119059178

And how amenable is the company to late starts, long lunches, regular smoke breaks and early finishes?

Potential-Monke

The truth.

"I'm here because ye are paying more than other people and I need money to live".

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051631#Comment_119051631

I was just pizzing by yer door, I saw you wankking at me; wankk wankk

the_pen_turner

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119058835#Comment_119058835

better to be smart enough to ask when unsure than assume and make a balls of it .

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059320#Comment_119059320

True, but this was an entirely different scenario question. It’s not a junior position where your manager fights your battles for you.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059723#Comment_119059723

ah good stuff, bigger consequences for errors because you were afraid to have a two minute conversation with another adult first.

mighty.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059776#Comment_119059776

I don’t see what’s wrong with expecting someone to gather facts and resolve a situation themselves before seeking help.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059785#Comment_119059785

it wasnt a very clear example you gave.

grand now to spin it so that the delay and work taken to gather facts and attempt resolution is the right move.

contextually, just as easy said that many scenarios would dictate you get the quick steer first from above that that time wasnt risked nor wasted.

its a good example of a bad interview question tbh, or over projection of a "right" answer from an interviewer

imo

Lol. This fun thread has turned into a pissing contest between two posters for absolutely no reason.

I love boards.

sam t smith

Admit your CV is a work of fiction.

Many years ago I was the technical interviewer alongside a PM where we interviewing someone for a mid level development role.

It wasn’t going well, the candidate couldn’t answer basic questions on many of the key technologies listed on the CV.

To the point where I asked the candidate if she actually had experience of the technologies listed. Her response was ‘No, but I would like to learn them, so I put them on the CV.’

The worst part was that the PM was still interested in hiring the candidate, the thinking being that the candidate would accept a low salary based on their lack of experience.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059793#Comment_119059793

The context was clear to the interviewee. If others want to hire people whose immediate response is to ask for help then they are free to do so. In this case the response suggested the person was not suitable for the role as they’d frequently be dealing with said scenario.

Jim2007

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119050459#Comment_119050459

How embarrassing for you.