Things not to say during interview

Ubbquittious

*Did you ever put someone on a PIP?

*Did you get a nice power trip out of watching them suffer and squirm while on the PIP knowing they wouldnt survive it anyway?

*Every job inevitably turns to sh1t after a few months/years, how will this one?

Please add to list as you see fit.

Skyrimaddict

Who is up for the ride in the office team?

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058245506/things-not-to-say-during-interview

What's PIP?

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051260#Comment_119051260

Performance Improvement Plan/Programme

I once attended an interview from 6pm to 7pm. It went fine and on conclusion I said thanks for staying late to interview me.

The employers response was 'sure this isn't late for us'.

Thanks but no thanks

frosty123

What can you bring to this company??

---> 'my lunch' 😙

(I actually said that, in a car-crash interview)

Andrea B.

If I won a life changing lotto, I would do the odd interview just to see how far I could go.

As in, bring them right up the garden path and then start rolling up a ciggy while telling them about my 5 year plan....

Gregor Samsa

I once told an interview panel (for a graphic design job) that I had started my own country. In my defence, I had flags and posters for the country I had founded in my portfolio. But I was hoping that they'd concentrate on the quality of the art and layout, rather than the viability of the country. Instead, they couldn't let go of the fact that I had indeed declared my front room to be an independent country, and that I wasn't doing this to make money, and they ended up getting quite annoyed with me as they quizzed me about what the fúck I was up to.

It didn't help that I was suffering from a very bad case of food poisoning from eating a battered sausage out of a puddle the Saturday night before (someone threw it at me and I ate it in defiance). So I had spent the prior 2 days between the bed and the toilet without any food, before falling into the interview first thing on the Tuesday morning pumping sweat and barely able to stand up.

Naturally, I didn't get the job. But it was the last interview that I didn't get.

Donald Trump

Nice tits

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051606#Comment_119051606

"Grab em by the pussy"

Andrea B.

Winking.

One Who Waits...

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051606#Comment_119051606

No doubt your namesake has said that to an interviewee on numerous occasions...

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051642#Comment_119051642

Namesake?

Don Jr?

I wouldn't let that tool near an interview

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051260#Comment_119051260

Personal Improvement Plan. Basically, if you're not doing so well during your probationary period, you might see it extended and given some new objectives to meet. It's more often than not the first sign you're about to be let go.

I worked for a startup once and they pulled this nonsense. I met my objectives so they made a few things up and let me go anyway.

Are you allowed to ask about work-life balance these days?

NedsNotDead

This one time, at band camp

Ray Palmer

Was in an interview and they proceeded to say how they expected to size the workload without the project being defined. I explained I can make an educated guess with the available information but it won't be accurate. Proceeded to say that the funding on the project would be determined by my estimates. It went on with them explaining how if I got it wrong I would be expected to work late if I under estimate while saying they fired the last guy because his estimates were so high.

The interview ended when I said " I don't think you understand that you are planning to undercut the big players while paying your staff less and expecting them to work unpaid overtime. Within a few months you will lose all the experienced staff members stuck with inexperienced people who can't get another job."

They took massive offense and thought it was unprofessional of me to express such a view. I had 10 years more experience than these 2 guys combined. Told them I was warning them to leave because the boss was exploiting their inexperience. When I was leaving I saw several people I worked with before. They all gave me the eye of "don't work here". We all spoke and I explained the interview to them, I would have been their boss. They were all looking for work and were worried how the company could go on as they had so few clients and they were all way beyond time frames and they were losing money on them even though staff were all doing free overtime. Company hemorrhaged staff within a few months and they couldn't hire anybody experienced because the word was out. They had to hire contractors to complete the work because none of the staff were experienced. Closed within 8 months of the interview.

Met one of the guys who interviewed me in work as he was hired by another company that worked where I was working. After a few weeks we spoke and he said I was 100% correct. He had spent most of his time apologizing to customers. He was also a junior BA as opposed to a senior BA he was in the other company.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051696#Comment_119051696

Are you allowed to ask about work-life balance these days?

I usually explain to them that my balance is fine.............I just get a bit wobbly when I'm pi$$ed........which is most of the time

silliussoddius

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051780#Comment_119051780

So you're saying you didn't fit into their team player culture.

chrissb8

"I picked this career because it was the only thing I could think of that would pay very well and wouldn't want to me make me blow my brains out after a couple of years. Otherwise, I would simply sit around getting fat and being happy"

"I will never do anything more than what we discuss here as my responsibilities and what was advertised on the job spec. Think of me as a product who is fit to do a certain amount of allocated tasks and nothing else."

Ginger83

Where do you see yourself in five years? In your seat 🙂

sam t smith

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119054916#Comment_119054916

Not ambitious enough.

Deja Boo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119051631#Comment_119051631

I actually did this once. I have no idea what made me do it (nerves probably)... Needless to say, it didnae go well.

sam t smith

https://youtu.be/hPfVIoB9C0c

Don’t take advice from Renton (or Spud) anyway.

trashcan

Interviewer - “What would you say is your biggest weakness ?”

Interviewee - “Honesty. “

”Interviewer “I wouldn’t think that’s a weakness.”

Interviewee - “Well, I don’t give a [email protected]€k what you think !”

sam t smith

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119054936#Comment_119054936

I was trying to remember the start of that one. 😂

sully123

Doin' yer...... son?

fryup

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119054916#Comment_119054916

'hopefully not here' - if the place is a kip

Sleepy

"ah... so this is what you do for the day job" and wink at the interviewer...

silliussoddius

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119054936#Comment_119054936

My biggest weakness is my lack of knowledge of Greek mythology.

It’s always been my Achilles elbow.

TheIrishGrover

Was interviewing someone and they asked "What's your policy on training? 'Cos I'd like to train up as much as possible and then move" I think they thought it was meant to demonstrate how ambitious they were.

Another interviewee attended while sitting at his desk in work (Video interview). Simply muted us while he talked to his colleague at least twice and then returned as if nothing happened. No apology, explanation, nothing. It actually looked staged as if they were trying to demonstrate how critical they were and everyone relied on them. Came across as arrogant (Well, ACTUALLY came across as pathetic but TRYING to be arrogant :) )

NewbridgeIR

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119054936#Comment_119054936

Or the guy who answered "I knew you'd ask that so I came prepared" and pulls out a typed list of his weaknesses, 55 in total & starts reading them out.

1. Unable to focus on bigger picture
2. Creates a climate of fear of failure
3. Blocks mobility of talented staff
4. Claims credit for the work of others............

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119058093#Comment_119058093

Seriously?