Feeling worthless and in a rut. Turning 30 this year with no hope

johnboy92

Hi guys,

Im posting because I need help. I cant afford to buy a house and this makes me feel subhuman in this country. Im from and live in Dublin.

I turn 30 this year. I finished school in 2010 and the height of the recession, the career guidance in school (middle class south Dublin), was fully based on going to UCD or Trinity. No other options existed. I never heard about STEM, never about trades, never about anything but the need to especially not attend IT Tallaght.

So I did a UCD arts degree in Sociology and Political Science after gaining 450 points in my leaving cert, I graduated in 2014, and did a post graduate diploma in Public Relations. Since then I have been unable to get a job earning over 30,000. I spent 4 years in a media agency working as a client services manager. I moved into tourism marketing after this and lost that role due to covid. For the last year I am working for facebook on the helpdesk for advertising clients.

I have literally sent out hundreds of CVs for higher wages and cannot get anything. People here talk about high paying jobs as if everyone can get one if they work hard enough. Thats not true, even my manager in work is living in a house share.

I have applied for a visa to go to Canada, just to get away from the shame I feel in my inability to live outside a house share (even on HAP) or to buy a home. Ive never been unemployed, I work damn hard and take every bit of overtime going, but I will never be able to buy a house on my income being single in Dublin.

I want no hand outs, my political instincts are conservative (hate long term welfare, dislike how having a child is seen as a life choice) I just want a normal standard of living with a basic car, a secure home and enough disposable income to have a pint on a Saturday night. Why does that seem out of my reach?

How do I not feel inferior for my wages and being a renter?

CGI_Livia_Soprano

I was sympathetic until your bizarre segue about handouts and having children.

Honestly I think you’ve had it too good and you’re soft. You need to get away from those cushy jobs for ponces, spend a few years flaking cement blocks up a ladder and stop conning yourself you’re a hard worker or thinking 450 points in the leaving cert means anything 12 years later.

Maybe after doing a spot of real work you’ll get a bit of gumption and humility. Examine then where you actually need to cut corners to save up for a deposit and stop blaming single parents on the dole for any of your problems. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, Mr Conservative. You need to work harder.

johnboy92

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940323#Comment_118940323

I said my general instincts are conservative. Thats changed however as I have seen for myself meritocracy is a myth. People who work hard don't get ahead. People from money with connections do or people get lucky. I voted SF in the last election due to housing. I also greatly regret not doing a trade and have been looking into becoming a HGV driver.

Jim_Hodge

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940336#Comment_118940336

People who work hard can get ahead. Plenty have done it. Luck is part if it but a minute part.

nolivesmatter

The Arts Degree, also known as the scenic route to a career.

screamer

Sometimes disappointment is not because of what we are not, but because our expectations are too high. So you can’t afford a house in Dublin, thousands can’t. It’s not right but right never changed things. You need to focus on what you can control and what you can change, otherwise you’re just boiling the ocean. So examine and change your perspective. Can you change jobs to earn more money in Dublin? If not, can you find a job in your area outside of Dublin that will allow you to purchase a house outside of Dublin? Is emigration an option and would that be to somewhere you want to settle down? Our feelings are great because we can change how we feel about things. Be grateful for what you do have, don’t lament what you don’t have and make a plan for your life.

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940387#Comment_118940387

It’s insane to me that people in Dublin would literally rather emigrate than consider that there’s more to Ireland than the capital.

miezekatze

If you want a career change, just do it. You can still learn a trade. If you think about it, you've only been working for a few years and probably have 30-40 years of work ahead of you!

Plenty of people rent, and plenty of people are on the kind of money you are on, especially at your age. Ignore what people say on boards and places like that. I was on similar money and renting when I was your age anyway. Its not a competition, you need to do what's right for you and stop comparing yourself with others.

johnboy92

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940387#Comment_118940387

I think college has caused a lot of people my age to feel depressed and left behind. If I had left school at 16 I would feel ok with my situation. But growing up my parents kept saying how important it was for me to go to college and the schools the same, and I expected a professional life from it. But it turns out 50% of people having degrees is worth nothing when only 25% of earners earn over 60k, therefore at least half of grads are going to be sub professional standards.

jackboy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940402#Comment_118940402

60k is a lot of money, you can’t expect that for any old job. Working hard is not enough when you have a Mickey Mouse job. There is a jobs boom in Ireland at the moment. You need to retrain in one of the areas where there are loads of jobs.

screamer

College is completely overrated. Unless you will be earning 40k plus upon leaving, it is a waste of time. You’ll never earn back the difference of lost years of income and cost of college compared to someone finishing school and going into the workforce. Time was that college was necessary and graduates got on better but these days there are too many BS courses, watered down and worthless. It’s the academic world spinning an industry around themselves, and unfortunately a lot of parents don’t realise this. A good trade is worth far more these days and will continue to be.

believe me, every generation has its own problems. I’m from the one who had 100% mortgages thrown at them, just to end up in default or struggling to pay the bills and feed the kids. No one has it easy. Please put some thought into the direction for your life, and remember you are only worthless if you believe that. So change your thinking, make a plan, you’re young with your whole life in front of you, full of opportunities and different directions, enjoy it.

BrianD3

Hit the gym, hard. Also martial arts if possible. As you build muscle, strength, confidence and the abilty to knock the sh*t out of other people, you'll likely stop beating yourself up about your housing situation and career.

daedal

I've been granted a visa for Canada, I'm 35, I've already emigrated once before and had to return due to a sick parent. Let me tell you, the grass is greener, this country is a complete kip, you earn **** all and get zero value for your money. Ireland is a greedy little grey shithole. Make the move.

johnboy92

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940655#Comment_118940655

Yeah, Im in two minds. My other idea is to get a HGV licence and become a lorry driver. That just seems a bit, backwards, for someone with a degree to do though. But could earn enough to buy a commuter apartment

Did you think the public relationship was going to be a high-earning career? or any client managing job would pay well?

Or is your issue that jobs like that should pay twice what they pay so you can buy a home?

Would you not have gone for the traditional route to the well-paying job for an arts degree, law, or accountancy? do you feel it's too late for that?

Could you leverage your PR experience to be self employed and start a small PR company?

johnboy92

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940836#Comment_118940836

I expected 30,000 to buy a home in the commuter belt or outer suburbs because my sisters did in, granted in the tiger. I never expected to be house sharing. I thought any job could buy a house because I have aunts who work at check outs that bought homes by themselves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940392#Comment_118940392

Or maybe they want to live in something like a city but without the Irish weather or expense? Like me, I'm from a large town in Ireland, I would like to move (preference America, Spain, Germany roughly) abroad. Now I haven't gone through every townland in Ireland but I can say that of anywhere I've heard of in Ireland I have no interest living in them. I'm only in my home town because it's where my parents are.

TheGlossy

It depends on the industry you want to build a career in, not the degree. If you want to make above €30K, look into banking and tech. I know quite a few people with no college degree getting into these industries with a decent salary. If you have a college degree, you should be able to find something. If you have client-facing experience, you can apply for relationship management / account management / client service positions, you'll make well above €30K.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940856#Comment_118940856

How much have you saved? How much did they save? How nice were the places they bought at the time? How much for? Were they single?

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058242142/feeling-worthless-and-in-a-rut-turning-30-this-year-with-no-hope

Why would a political Conservative study sociology?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940347#Comment_118940347

Agreed. Meritocracy is not a myth at all. If you are working hard and not getting ahead then you are not in the right career for you

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940908#Comment_118940908

Seriously?

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940669#Comment_118940669

Truck driver wages are awful per hour ,a dogs life

johnboy92

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940930#Comment_118940930

I used to be a socialist in my younger days, then I started working and got nothing while seeing people not working doing better

johnboy92

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940941#Comment_118940941

HGV licence for trucks or also Dublin Bus. From jobs posted the pay is around 40,000 which can buy an apartment in Drogheda or Portlaoise. So I could own property

anewme

Not really sure After Hours is the correct place for this if you are serious OP.

You need to look at where you are vs. where you want to be.

Dont look at other people, having kids, blah, blah, blah, this is about you.

You are where you are and you need to start from here.

Mad_maxx

The OP is thirty , he's still very young ,plenty of time to reskill

johnboy92

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940980#Comment_118940980

Is it young? My parents bought at 23. So did all my aunts and uncles. And my sisters and their friends all bought in their mid 20s in the 2000s

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940995#Comment_118940995

Past is another country entirely, not relevant

backwards_man

"I thought any job could buy a house because I have aunts who work at check outs that bought homes by themselves"

"From jobs posted the pay is around 40,000 which can buy an apartment in Drogheda or Portlaoise. So I could own property"

These are two of your quotes OP. You sound like a child, not a 30 yr old. I am guessing the reason you are in your current situation is because you lack the intelligence to do better. There are people who got none of your start in life achieving far more. Figure out a path to a higher salary if that is what you want, instead of moaning about it here. Honestly its not rocket science.

Teacher2020

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940669#Comment_118940669

Get off your high horse. You think you're above lorry driving just because you have a degree. Lorry driving is a good job if you're a hard and reliable worker. My husband earns significantly more than I do working 8-5 and I have a masters degree. It is very hard graft at the beginning (14 hour days) but as you get more experienced you have more bargaining power. Most haulage companies are willing to pay extortionate money for a reliable driver. Its about finding a company that doesn't exploit its workers.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118941160#Comment_118941160

OP has a degree from UCD.

Surely 99% of things would be a step up from that.

A learners licence for a moped would probably open up more doors for employment.

OP needs to realise he's like a modern day Oscar Wilde - lying in the gutter but looking up at the stars. Wilde did, of course, have a proper degree so the OP shouldn't be getting too far ahead of himself and dreaming about statues on Merrion Square.

BaywatchHQ

I am 30 in a few months too and a KHV (kisless, hugless, virgin) perpetually unemployed depressive. I gave up on trying to become successful and just focus on my copes (interests). If you are NT (Not Autistic) then you still have potential to have a somewhat normal semi successful life but it is over for me and many other many around the world. I have a degree too in a low tier subject, I can't really complain though as my government don't require you to pay back student loans unless you earn over a certain salary.

johnboy92

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118941600#Comment_118941600

Dude thats just said. Just get on tinder.

Im just pissed because I cannot get assets and property, you seem you like you theraphy

BaywatchHQ

Typical normie response, "you need therapy", I think you are better off going on Reddit with the other soys. There is no therapy that will cure the effects of being rejected by society and being a non NT ugly male. I am glad you hate long term welfare because I love leaching off hard working Millennials like you.

Akrasia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118941600#Comment_118941600

Ya gotta fake it till you make it.

Also, ya gotta stop feeling so sorry for yourself. Nobody wants to be around that person. Good looking people get more leway on this front, but in the end, even supermodels will get dumped if they're too self obsessed.

johnboy92

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118941613#Comment_118941613

Im ugly as ****, 5ft 7 and balding and I have had relationships. It happens when you make friends with people and theres either a spark or they set you up with their friends.

Akrasia

I'm 5-11/5-10 depending on who you ask. There are lads 3-4 inches shorter than me who have had way more partners than I ever had.

Balding doesn't matter when it's perfectly ok to have a shaved head as a man. Loads of women prefer this

For every 'unattractive' man, there are just as many 'unattractive' women. There is a mentality at play here

BaywatchHQ

Get to bed fool, I need you to be up early in the morning to earn money for my welfare bux. Even if you move to Canada you will still be serving many men like me on Neetbux.

BrianD3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940924#Comment_118940924

Luck (circumstances, chance encounters, parents, timing, economic conditions) are extremely important. I find that people who downplay the importance of luck have benefitted from it but have convinced themselves that their success was all their own doing. It is very much a Boomer trait.

In cases such as the OP's, good career advice at age 17 can make a huge difference. When doing a degree you only get the "free" (3k p.a) fees once. If you make a bad decision and need to do a second degree, the fees may be 10k p.a. or more. Meanwhile you are also earning poor money (because your first degree was poor) and are dealing with high rents etc. It's very easy to get stuck in a trap or rut.

Success also breeds success. A promotion or job offer based on a chance encounter can lead to further opportunities and success while someone else is left behind and trying to figure out what happened. Then they come on this site and read posts about how success is mostly about hard work.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118941633#Comment_118941633

Enjoy it while it lasts baldy. Wait til you hit 40 and now you're bald and old and living in a houseshare with other ex and current UCD Arts students and all you can afford still is drinking cans of Bavaria in the front room on a Saturday night. 😋

Stick that on your bleedin' tinder!

Ubbquittious

I hate the way these threads so quickly turn into "lets vilify and lambaste the OP with whatever we can". If I were in a similar situation I would not post on boards

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940995#Comment_118940995

The OP is just looking for a moan they are insightful enough to know circumstances play a big part in where they are at, On career guidance its doesn't work on teens the way people seem to think, no career guidance teacher told him don't go to IT Tallagh he picked that up from his friends and the millue he moved in, the same with doing a trade it was never going to happen no matter what career guidance they got. They were always going to UCD. The blaming career guidance teachers is nonsense.

johnboy92

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118942373#Comment_118942373

It seems to most people only the tech industry exists and if your not a tech you can **** off out of Dublin. Everyone I know either lives in house shares or at home. The only ones I know with their own places are people who got pregnant young without any college etc and have a place on the HAP. But coming in here its like if you are not earning 60k as a software developer you deserve the bread line

If the OP was serious they would get a civil service job stick it out get promoted, or get some finance job, move home for a while save a bit.

LegallyAbroad

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118942380#Comment_118942380

There are loads of other graduate jobs that pay decent money (60k) in Dublin:

Doctor, Solicitor, Barrister, Asset Management, Management Consulting, accountancy, Assistant Principal in the Civil Service etc. etc.

You lack imagination by the sounds of thinks.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118942380#Comment_118942380

To be fair OP, you describe yourself as a middle class background. Let's assume it was taken for granted you were always going to go to university. Could ya not have put in a bit more effort in your Leaving maybe? Where is 450 points in the scheme of things these days (or when you did your Leaving). What with all the grade inflation and the bonus points and all that jazz (if they were in back then).

It's probably a respectable score, don't get me wrong, but not spectacular for someone who would have had an easier route to the line than many. Would it be average, or slightly above average maybe? Genuine question. LC points are not the be all and end all. Where were you in the rankings for your own seconday school in terms of points? That might be a better metric. Were you in top 5 or top 10 students in your year?

It doesn't mean you can't catch up later. It could be indicative of underachievement or lack of effort.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118942402#Comment_118942402

Barrister is actually very badly paid. At least for the first 10 years of so..............which is kinda partly why it has a reputation for being something that people with money do - because you kinda need money to be able to weather the first few years!

lawred2

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118940336#Comment_118940336

meritocracy is a myth

well with that attitude it's no wonder you're in a rut

lawred2

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118941600#Comment_118941600

christ - you need to get off the internet

I can only think that those acronyms come from one of these dark reaches of the internet.

LegallyAbroad

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118942436#Comment_118942436

For some yes. For others no. I know people down 5 years making well over 60k.

The Bar like to put on the aul béal bocht.