Keeping Single...? For now

Loafing Oaf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119060059#Comment_119060059

I'm not suggesting a guy who swears off marriage and children has to be a lonely celibate. FWBs, polyamory, there are all sorts of other relationship models to choose from. Just don't do the legally binding 'till death do us part' monogamous commitment unless you're absolutely sure...

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182770#Comment_119182770

I'd be an introvert and while I'm happy by myself for the most part, I do have to concede that people have social needs that need to be met to some degree. I think anyone who hasn't dated by the time they hit their mid-twenties at the latest is going to be facing serious difficulty if they want to settle down with someone.

People tend to socialise with people of similar ages IME. My friends all have mortgages and nearly all are married now. None of them are single. I live in a houseshare and am planning what to do with my remaining AL. It stings seeing other people pull ahead but it is what it is.

FintanMcluskey

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119060059#Comment_119060059

After that to enjoy single life you need to be very outgoing, have a wide circle of similar minded friends and passions that occupy your life. Otherwise you just end up burying yourself in work or fatting it out in front of TV.

That's essentially daily life for about 90% of married couples with children. He's working late while shes watching another mind numbing show on TV and downing glasses of wine.

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182660#Comment_119182660

Possibly but Ireland should escape the worst of what climate change throws up and we are on the right side of the inequality equation so in most ways kids born in Ireland today are some of the luckiest in the history of the world.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182995#Comment_119182995

I don't disagree that anyone born in Ireland is incredibly but climate change will be a global thing. Vast tracts of arable land will become desolate. I really don't want to get on a soapbox here but I just want to make the point that climate change is going to hit every part of the world albeit in different ways.

Pussyhands

As long as your self sustaining, I don't see much upside to relationships. Kids are the only thing.

sheepondrugs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182990#Comment_119182990

There are no doubt some but I don't think most couples live like that, otherwise we would be a nation of fat alcoholics.

Its like married /coupled people like to portray single people as somewhat unhappy or unfulfilled and single people like to the same about those in relationships.

Dickie10

i have only ever been in a 2 month relationship. im 39 next month. should i be worried?

Oerdun

Sounds like you've given up to be honest. I think it's easy to feel that way, especially if you haven't dated for a while, but there's no sense in closing yourself off to the possibility of a great relationship. It's important to be able to be happy when you're single too, but I don't know about resigning yourself to that life. Don't get me wrong, I've been there myself and it's easy to convince yourself that it's what you want even if it's not true, at least until the right person comes along.

salonfire

I can't believe Irish people would actually consider climate change as a reason not to have children. It's a nonsense that won't impact Ireland all that much, certainly not enough as a reason to avoid relationships/children.

To the OP, you're a teacher and live on a farm. You have a more secure future than the vast majority of the population who are getting into relationships. Your salary will be waiting for you every fortnight. If Ireland does turn into a mad max society, you can grow your own food and use it as a supplemental income.

Sounds like your just trying to find reasons to justify avoiding women tbh.

carrollsno1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119197979#Comment_119197979

Gettting a trade here at the moment on a decent enough wage for an apprentice, farming background, secure rented accomadation for the next few years so you could say ive a few things going for me. Didnt stir out a lot over the last two years between covid and living a fairly isolated lifestyle (not going into that part). I made the change this January joined a sporting club locally ive come on leaps and bounds between the gym and that club since then due to the nature of the training involved it wasnt ideal to head out for a heavy session on the weekends so i hadnt a massive social life outside of work/training. Definitely a different man since January ive lost weight and my mental health is a lot better too and when i go out im fairly positive and good craic (so ive been told several time) and i dont drink to excess when im out anymore either. However despite all ive done i hit the town Saturday night in a great mood (had no fear the next day either) and i couldnt get over the coldness of the Irish women here no craic in them at all whatsoever and it was a decent enough spot we were in too but the only female attention i got was the wrong kind from a relation who blackened me in front of my friends and revealed a growing bitterness against me from herself and several family members in her drunken state. How in the name of god is a man supposed to find a woman in an environment like that? The coldness was unbelievable like i had no bother and great craic in Sydney and Melbourne where there was a way more laidback attitude and just a general better vibe between everyone there here everyones uptight and up their own hole in my experiences anyway.

FintanMcluskey

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119186655#Comment_119186655

Sounds like you haven't suffered enough imo 🤣

In a relationship the 1st few months are by far the best from a contentment and interest point of view.

Essentially you've only experienced the best part of a relationship in the initial 2 months

Trondheim

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119199174#Comment_119199174

That sounds like a fairly rubbish night out. Try not to let that knock your confidence. You have achieved so much in getting fit and in your career - that is all real and doesn't disappear because of a bad night out. It may be that you could go out again next week and have a totally different experience, or it may be that another social venue would suit you much better, like a walking club, or Macra, or something else entirely. You will only know by trying out different things and maybe each of them a few goes before you decide. That also involves giving yourself permission to try them out and have a bad experience. Try to view it like a project - you think of different options and try them out, knowing in advance that (a) some might feel difficult at first but with perseverance may prove to be fun and (b) some will never click with you, but you will give it a few goes before you decide.

Dickie10

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119199174#Comment_119199174

I definitley found that since i became a teacher women view you in a totally different light on a night out, it just a flick of a switch. They are cold standoff ish next think they hear that and everything seems t

HGVRHKYY

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119197979#Comment_119197979

I think you're just thinking about the actual climate aspect of climate change, as in the change in our weather and temperatures etc. but are completely ignoring the absolute disaster it's going to cause globally which will inevitably result in a massive refugee crisis. There'll be many densely populated areas of the world ending up either uninhabitable due to the heat or losing their food security, and they'll be forced to leave and they'll obviously come to less impacted places, like Western Europe. We'll be obliged to take large numbers in, because doing otherwise would be sickening since we'll be witnessing the terrible reality they faced in their home countries, and of course we will struggle to cope with actually supporting and assimilating them. We'll also probably face intense pressure to provide food security to other regions of the globe, provided we're still as good as we currently are on that regard

Its just annoying when people only consider the physical aspect of climate change and hot the humanitarian crises it'll bring on

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119058503#Comment_119058503

I'd also add to that, are you ready to accept that your life will be very different? Seems like a lot of ladies seem to think that things will change massively while a lot of lads seems to think they'll be able to keep going. Some serious fuckin immaturity out there.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182995#Comment_119182995

There are going to be massive, massive social changes everywhere because of climate change and because of what and where has been built on. There's stuff that barely registers on the news that should have alarm bells ringing. California is drying out like Spongebob in the first movie. 4.2 million people left homeless by flooding in India. Most of Bangladesh will sink under the sea in the next century. Plus by 2050 even without an increase in immigration Ireland's population will be likely be majority people and descendants of people who weren't here in 2000. Ya look at the way Western economies have gone and it's all about "Sure we can't all have a house" and being lucky if you can afford to rent a non-shithole even on OK money.

Aaaanyway. Yeah I'm single and would like not to be. But then I listen to the lads and if even 10% of what they say is accurate then I'm really not arsed. Random rows started over nonsense at 1.30am (when she's off the next day), every decision has to be discussed at length for no reason, every issue isn't what you think it is, it's what she thinks it is etc. That and Irish women for whatever reason aren't into me. I can go to England or Canada or Europe and with my normal name and quite regular European white guy looks (and being really fat) and literally get a date on Tinder within hours, even in smaller places than where I'm from. In Ireland I might get a dozen matches in a catchment area containing half the population of the country over the course of several months. I remember in London years ago getting chatted up by an incredibly hot lady (I missed it at the time 😅) while in Dublin I once got a slap for asking a girl if she knew the time. 😅 Of the few flings and semi-relationships I've had literally half weren't Irish and the rest were a distance away. I've semi-seriously asked a few ladies in my life if there are some horrific rumours about me or something. 🤣

But yeah, I've dug myself into a nice little rut and it would take something special and easy for me to go getting out of it now. Though I am hoping to move away in the next year or so so that could change things.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119238898#Comment_119238898

Also just to add, being mindful that after having a kid the partner might change their mind and decide to fcuk off and you're left as a single parent, I've seen this happening several times, so I think it's important to ask yourself would you have the security and stability to sufficiently care for you and a child if that happens. If not, prob should avoid until you can imho.

spontindeed

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058238710/keeping-single-for-now

I would personally avoid woke women. A lot of them work in mid to senior roles for big multinationals here. In my experience, they always have "an opinion" on men.   

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119238980#Comment_119238980

Ah yeah, it's a **** high-pressure decision for the ladies as well, no doubt. But if things are fairly stable right at this moment then whatever happens the house is their's til the youngest kid finishes college so there's that bit of security that the guys don't get.

At the risk of being accused of women-bashing, the naivety sometimes, and I've seen it when my mates get in relationships and it's so, so **** obvious they're incompatible but the lady thinks moving in together will change things, maybe getting engaged, maybe getting married, maybe having a kid... I'm sure they'd put it differently but it very much is what it is. Meanwhile he's "hoping she'll calm down" once the next step is taken.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119239410#Comment_119239410

Idk, I can imagine it could work both ways. But I know of ppl who rented with their partners, and they partners just fekd off and they can barely get maintenance and the partner doesn't want to see their kids, it's disgusting.

I think anyone that thinks having kids etc will save a problematic relationship rly needs to wake up 🙈

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119239648#Comment_119239648

Fair enough. I know one guy who had a kid after a one night stand and was a scumbag about it. But I know a bunch of guys who've been left in their parents' spare rooms knowing they'll be paying for a house they're not allowed into for the next 20 years. And while it's certainly not a nice thing to do or have to do I've seen plenty get a house while pregnant. My sister and especially my mother used to scoff at stuff I'd say but they keep seeing more and more. Anyway, going into different socio-economic discussions there. :P

Yeah it's often way easier to see the picture from the outside. "Oh no way, that thing about you that annoyed her 3 years ago still annoys her???? What a shock." 🤣 People will frame and justify things to suit themselves and not admit when they're doing something really stupid like that.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119239672#Comment_119239672

I can't comprehend how people can be such scumbags but clearly the child is better off not knowing them.

Well that's horrible for those bunch of guys, some women do play the system and will milk it and the guy for everything they have. For some ppl their goal is to have children so they can get 'set up' with all the benefits and a council house, it pays not to work for some.

Tbf who wants to admit they made a mistake, too much ego

ancapailldorcha

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