People who get bullied during younger years?

I've been trying to rationalize some of the obscure behavioural weirdness I see around me sometimes.

It's insane what I see some people prioritize.

I think people who get bullied or intimidated by a certain personality type, either during youth or at some point in their lives, they seem to hold this belief throughout their entire life that those personality traits that they got bullied by, are the epitome of intimidation and strength.

Simply because they've been made to feel the epitome of intimidated and weak in the face of them.

I see this around Dublin frequently, these really attractive girls hooked up with these absolute greaseballs.

Greaseballs and all that they are, they have facets to their personality that allow them to remain "strong'ish and independent" in a sense, in a pretty insane environment - maybe an overcrowded housing situation, a community rampant with drugs and violence.

Those often underhanded and degenerative personality facets can actually lend themselves in some obscure way to being able to survive in those crazy settings.

Thus the hot girls, given the environment they grew up in, potentially subject to that intimidation and violence, they prioritize finding a man who can cope with that (prioritize it above almost anything else), even though those traits make up only a part of what he is, and the rest is almost certain to be a social welfare recipient for perpetuity.

corner of hells

"I've been trying to rationalize some of the obscure behavioural weirdness I see around me sometimes."

Have you tried rationalising your post ?

Capt'n Midnight

They grow up and invade Ukraine

CrookedJack

Did you just ask "Why do girls like bad guys" in the most longwinded way possible?

See I have this weird theory.

Those who grew up with certain ideas that were formed via the authoritarian or bully figures in their lives, such as hotties who insist on only hooking up with this degenerative "Anto" type.

They essentially need to be re-bullied (but, not degenerative bullying as they'd experienced).

Redefine the parameters of what they do and do not consider strong and aspiration worthy.

I mean it makes sense, right?

........

This is known to happen with dogs that were abused by their owners then rescued.

To facilitate their adjustment to normal living, their new owners actually need to engage in abusive behavior with them, then gradually shift that to something more adaptive.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118740760#Comment_118740760

Well there in is the catch.

They don't actually "like" them. They're just environmentally conditioned to seek them out.

But if you characterize "liking" as sexual attraction, by default with an inadequate organism like some billy-badass greaseball, there's little to no possibility for sensory/neurological stimulation and therefore sexual gratification/attraction.

Physiology 1.0.1.

BrianD3

Even women who grew up in a comfortable, safe environment are attracted to bad bastards. What happens next depends on whether the developed part of the brain overcomes the primitive part.

"That guy murdered someone but he's sexy, I'll fcuk him but won't date him"

Vs

"I LOVE him, yeah he murdered someone but he said he's sorry, I'll marry him".

If someone was bullied, grew up in a tough environment etc. are they more likely to choose option 2 above, possibly.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118740827#Comment_118740827

I don't agree.... at all.

Some go through the rebellious phase but vast majority from good backgrounds snap out of it real quick when they realize there's zero physical chemistry to be had.

Those from deprived backgrounds will never abandon the idea they need a man who could cope in such a depraved situation.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058236090/people-who-get-bullied-during-younger-years

Good looking girls like good looking lads. Some of these lads just happen to be arseholes, or "greaseballs" as you call them.

If you wanna get laid lower your standards.

BrianD3

Is it possible to discuss anything here without throwing out insults like "incel" or turning the thread into a discussion on posters rather than posts.

Research has shown that bad fcukers such as violent gang members have more partners and more children than average. Is this because of or in spite of their violence and how does women's upbringing affect who they choose to date.

I've come across plenty of women from different backgrounds in my time and would still find it hard to predict whether any given girl would be likely to date a violent man or not. On more than one occasion I've been surprised. I've come across girls from tough backgrounds who dated corporate assholes and girls from comfortable backgrounds who dated violent assholes.

Either way, assholes and bullies do great with women.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118740959#Comment_118740959

Well it depends on how you define, "do great".

Do they have lots of illegit kids?

Sure.

But do they actually cut the mustard in bed?

The jury is out (though I know they don't).

BaywatchHQ

"really attractive girls", if you took off their make up they probably are dating their looks match. I was actually shocked when I seen photos of what attractive girls look like without fake up.

Women want to date the alpha males, it probably is natural as they want their children to be healthy but they still often breed incel males because of their own DNA. Also even breeding with alpha can still breed incel males as a lot can happen in the womb. Having a 6ft father doesn't always mean you will be tall and good looking.

Donald Trump

They usually join boards.ie and start stupid threads in order to try to compensate in later life

Jequ0n

I don’t think it’s class related. There are plenty of idiots who will ignore warning signs and their gut feelings, even if the writing is on the wall. To a large extent this seems to be experience related though, as the family dynamics might have taught them to ignore and accept certain behaviours. Some families just manage to hide their dysfunctions better than others.

I don’t see what this has to do with bullying though.

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118740827#Comment_118740827

Very true ,the vast vast majority of men who have served prison sentences are fathers, women have always been attracted to violent men

dublinman1990

I hate that type of aggro culture that is extremely common among the scumbag class in this country. I mean what do they get out of it once it comes from their upbringing?

In the real world; there really shouldn't be any point in keeping up with their own mantra of living like a strongman type while they live among the rest of us in society.

Their own way of living is just inherited from one big load of cynical horseshit. Societies in other countries wouldn't dare to tolerate it. If you have the ability in yourself to act like a dick; there should be a rule in place coming from their parents in that you shouldn't act like one when it's not warranted.

It breeds narcissism, it breeds dissent & it breeds a misconception of the role of what the common man is meant to do when conduct himself within a decent society.

We are seeing that with the war in Ukraine at the moment. A strongman type arsehole in the form of Putin is currently dishing out these needless & illegal hardships among the harmless people who have built up decent livelihoods in that country. It is just deeply fūck1ng disgusting behaviour. There is no justification for it whatsoever among decent people who wouldn't hurt a fly.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118740777#Comment_118740777

I have no idea where you came up with your dog analogy. It's not true for dogs and it's not true for people

fryup

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118743295#Comment_118743295

Here Here! well said 👏

Ray Palmer

I know a women who is married to a complete ahole and he comes from a family of aholes. He attacked her on their wedding night. Her parents drove them to the registry office to drop in their forms the next day! Couldn't believe it. Her sisters are married to nice men.

Yes she was bullied in school but also not very bright compared to her sisters. She willingly chose her friends which were a rough crowd. She became a complete glamour puss and obsessed with brand labels. She started dating muscly blokes who were equally obsessed with their appearance and brand labels.

Her first boyfriend repeatedly raped her but she put this down as normal as it was among her friends. She eventually dumped him and got a bigger muscly boyfriend. This guy was a petty criminal but "connected" according to him but really just a lap dog for some connected people. He died of a drug over dose. Then she met her current husband.

No matter the warnings about these guys at the time she was dating them she just ignored it because of her peers as opposed to family and long term friends. She now has 2 kids with him and a step child of his who is at least equally as scummy as his father but actually worse.

She is very attractive to a particular sort but she looks trashy to me but that is the way society are grouped. Some people aspire to be like Jordan. Complete drama queen too like she thinks she lives in soap operas, there is no reasoning with people who think this is normal behaviour

All her boyfriends were taxi driver which is actually a scary thought as they are complete misogynists and all had a rapey vibe off them. Picture bald head flabby former muscular guys who love themselves and thing they still look like their hay day of fitness. They certainly aren't intelligent in any scope of it.

sporina

@Sugar_Rush is the real issue that your not getting laid?

NedsNotDead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118751972#Comment_118751972

Well here's a surprise. Whatever the topic, Ray seems to know somebody in that situation

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118753049#Comment_118753049

This is so a weird boards attitude!

of course people post on issues they have experience with or in, why would they post on threads where they know nothing about the subject matter?

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118753049#Comment_118753049

Yes it is called living. The older you get the more experience you get so I tend to know people in lots of situations. At 13 you might know more about 13 year old issues but by 40 you tend to know a lot more

Slightly diverge from the primary topic but staying on the primary theme - bullying.

I have somewhat of an infatuation for gambling films or films of a certain theme.

When you think "bullying" you think, strong kid in playground picking on a weak kid.

That's conventional bullying in the degenerative sense.

The form of bullying in gambling.... is it entirely dissimilar?

It's intimidation using high stakes, calculation of probabilities and, "having the chops" to act on those probabilities.

.......

Honestly I'm not sure the point I'm trying to make but, the idea of "bullying" is central to it - like it's a phenomenon, a necessary facet of humanity and success.

.......

Am I way off the mark here?

greenspurs

Was there a point there ?

ohnonotgmail

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118740777#Comment_118740777

perhaps you might have more success with women if you thought of them as people and stop describing them as "hotties"

erlichbachman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118766683#Comment_118766683

Or if he starts bullying people

lawred2

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118740994#Comment_118740994

How do know you about their performance between the sheets?

stupid thread

Major Jam

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058236090/people-who-get-bullied-during-younger-years

Is this cos your not getting your hole?

Deeec

Why are some women attracted to tough guy bullies -

• They like to feel protected - this is possibly down to something happening in their early years
• They think they can change them - it takes years though for them to figure out that they cant change them
• Money - very often these tough guys are good at making money either through legitimate or criminal means. These ladies usually like the finer things in life and like to be provided for. They usually dont work themselves

melekalikimaka

how old are you OP?

Jebus, at this point I absolutely have to echo the sentiments of this poster:

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118740959#Comment_118740959

Can we not have an adult discussion without it descending into accusations of being an "incel", immature, "not getting laid" etc.

Let's set the record straight, I get laid.

Okay, with hot girls.

Sometimes it's so easy I feel like I could legitimately become a gigolo.

But also bearing in mind AH do not promote discussion of playboys patting themselves on the back, so we're not diverging there.

.....

The question at hand is, or rather the topic at hand is - the role the phenomenon of "bullying" has to be play in attraction or more specifically, physical gratification... ?

Let's keep discussion 18+ and abandon the juvenile antics.

Let me give an example.

I used to go to this tanning parlor.

The woman who ran it, she was all about the "bad boys".

I knew her boyfriend actually. Dude was a mong, but he had that "I is psycho bruh, don't fuck with me bruh" thing going on.

She liked the fact he intimidated other men, she felt there was an idea of almost glamour being around it, it's like it made her feel empowered.

In knowing these types of "relationships", they inevitably end up going sour cause the idea of "bad boy" prestige they have going on in their own head, it does not translate to actual chemistry in the bedroom.

Simple.

Brid Hegarty

Elon Musk was bullied.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118766683#Comment_118766683

That comment isn't helpful. There are many things that might get in the way of a guy succeeding with women, but thinking of them as 'hotties' rather than 'people' isn't one of them. In reality there are plenty of guys (like Tiger Woods) who don't really view women as people who get plenty of action. Putting women on the pedestal will not increase a man's chances.

ohnonotgmail

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118767154#Comment_118767154

treating a woman as a person is not "putting them on a pedestal".

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118767304#Comment_118767304

Fair enough. I don't know if your taking issue with expression 'hotties' means I'm to assume you're female, but let me put it to you this way. When I see a bunch of young skirts going down the street I reckon I'm more inclined to think of them as hotties than human beings. But I suppose in reality I think of them as human beings that are hotties. Now if I were to sit down opposite one of them who's fully clothed without any makeup caked on, then I may be more inclined to think of her as a human being. But do you honestly think either thought would reduce my chances of getting laid with women in general? Given the context of the discussion above I don't see an issue with someone referring to the females as hotties or males as studs.

If Sugar_Ruch does in fact struggle with women, then I bet it has nothing to do with your remark.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118740777#Comment_118740777

How do you engage in non 'degenerative' bullying with a dog?... ignoring the fact that no one tries this method.

Brid Hegarty

@Sugar_Rush Let's set the record straight, I get laid. Okay, with hot girls. Sometimes it's so easy I feel like I could legitimately become a gigolo.

I don't get laid with girls so easily unfortunately. I had the odd bit of fun with PUA over the years, but generally speaking all PUA helped with (interesting and all as it is) was being able to put my finger on why exactly it is that I'm not good with women. I became better at reading situations and knowing when things were going my way, but I never felt I had the power to make things go my way. No amount of PUA can change who you are. Before that it was quite confusing for me... because I was tall and good looking. I've had experiences where I'd be trying it on with girls, and have other girls (attractive) come up to me and say "you could do so much better than her", and that used to confuse me. I also never drank so that made things harder for me. Part of the problem is also that my standards are too high. But most of the ugly girls probably wouldn't want me either.

At times I wonder if I were a gay, but yet like one of those gays that doesn't seem gay, would women be more attracted to me then? I'd have a lot more power over them as they'd think I'm straight but just not into them. But I'm not gay. I am attracted to women and it will always show. It's very hard to pretend you don't really want someone all that much in order to get with them. But that's the game.

fryup

some people get bullied all through their sad lives - they've got the door mat gene i.e. too timid

ohnonotgmail

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118768110#Comment_118768110

you seem nice.

JimmyVik

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118753049#Comment_118753049

The older you get the more people and situations you will have come across.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118768232#Comment_118768232

You got better at reading situations and people? You mean it was worse than it is now? This isn’t meant as a dig btw, just wondering.

Jebus, I'm trying to start an interesting discussion on a common phenomenon that no one is immune to or has not experienced at some point.

Can we please stay on topic?

....

Or it's entirely possible that the AH demographic is simply not a suitable target audience?

.....

But I can hardly post this in "current affairs".....?

Allinall

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118769000#Comment_118769000

Try Here. https://www.boards.ie/categories/personal-issues

You may get some help.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118769061#Comment_118769061

I'm going to keep a happy thought and assume this was intentionally tongue-in-cheek, lol.

....

Let me re-phrase.

When we consider "bullying" in the conventional sense, we think some quiet kid in school getting his lunch money taken.

So naturally there's no productive outcome here.

The point I'm trying to make is, the phenomenon of "bullying", I don't think it applies exclusively in the degenerative sense.

That's the example I was trying to use with gambling.

A successful poker player, "bullying" is strategy 1.0.1.

Play conservatively until there's a stack of chips big enough to be intimidating, then using probability to maximize chances of success, anti-up and intimidate.

......

So where else does this concept apply?

TheTruth89

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058236090/people-who-get-bullied-during-younger-years

It depends on the personality type of the person being bullied, i was bullied quite abit but it in a weird way only steeled me and made me a far more resilient person, im alot more aware and sympathetic towards people because of it and loath the bully type's.

What i did find was when i started fighting back against these "strong bullies" it was amazing how incredibly weak they are mentally, they cannot compute being the nail they only understand being the hammer and when they are forced to be the nail they crumble,

I love taking on these bully types when i encounter them in adult life alot of them never really change and just evolve there tactics so they are more "acceptable" for workplace environments and sports ect

But there Achilles heel will always be they never really have any doggedness or backbone and cannot cope with being challenged and put on the backfoot when intimidation tactics fail.

Any woman worth her salt wouldnt be interested in a moron that trys to bully people in adult life and any that are consider them a bullet dodged. But if your struggling its more than likely down to yourself rather than other people.

@Ten of Swords

lol, why does every comment seem to insinuate that just cause I made this thread, I'm the victim of bullying?

......

I'm extremely hesitant to approach the primary concept head on cause, AH moderators have cautioned me umpteen times against doing so.

And actually one more infraction and I may have to depart AH indefinitely (so I've been told, behind the scenes).

......

I think it may be prudent to request clearance from @Ten of Swords ?

We're talking about bullying and its affects in relationships and attraction.

Should I quit whilst I'm ahead, or am I good to proceed slowly and cautiously?

growleaves

AH is a craic-free zone full of politically correct office types OP, no one's fault that's just how it is. They'd report you to their HR manager if they could.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118768500#Comment_118768500

The general consensus from other posters who tend to gang up on me is that I'm too sensitive, NOT that I'm poor at reading people. You are now free to wonder about something else.

AyeGer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118740777#Comment_118740777

Where did you come up with this crackpot theory on abused dogs? I hope nobody believes the best way to make life better for an abused dog is to abuse them some more. Unbelievable.