How are you doing compared to the peers you grew up with?

Ray Palmer

I was chatting with an old school friend and were catching up on people we went to school. When we went to secondary the classes were graded so A1 and A2 were the top classes with one more mathematical and the other more artsy in the subjects. A3 and A4 were the same subjects as above just they felt the students were not as smart as top. A5 was for those with learning disabilities mostly and complete wasters.

After inter-cert the head class didn't matter as people chose their own subjects. More A1-2 took honour subjects but there was a bigger spread. Anyway there were roughly 150 lads in my year. There really isn't a surprise about anybody in terms of where they ended up now. No guy doing badly in school to only become a genius in the real world or people being completely down on their luck who seemed bright. A few health issues and deaths but that is just life.

Generally people I hung around with are on similar incomes and lifestyles and that also seems to be the case with other groups who hung out. I had spoken to an old teacher and he said you can pretty much tell where people will end up in life within the first week of dealing with the first years.

What are other's experiences?

troyzer

I was the only one of my group to go to Trinity, most of the rest of them went off to NUIM together. A lot of them are teachers now. No surprises really.

Sleepy

Out of my core group of friends from home, despite one of the higher achievers of the group in terms of Leaving Certs, I'd think most are in a better place than I am financially due to their having made better / different life choices. There's one who we all lost touch with who heads up a medical research institute in the States and is presumably loaded now but TBH he was always going to do well and we lost touch with him the second he started Medicine in college. The Med students during my time in UCG / NUI, Galway tended to stick to their own faculty socially. There'd have been a few exceptions but they were very much a clique...

None of us ended up as total wasters and I'd imagine most would be doing about as well as our secondary school teachers would have predicted.

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118616609#Comment_118616609

Some ended up as waster from my school to say the least but they were always headed that way. One surprised me by not ending up in prison but instead helps troubled teens stay out of prison. He was a complete nutter and not a nice guy but he seemed to turn his life around completely. I certainly couldn't do his job emotionally

BrianD3

My secondary school had streaming and I was at or near the top of the top class (and year) in terms of academic ability and LC points. Also scored very well in the verbal/numerical part of the DAT. Did well in college too, at or near top of class every year.

Now, it's over 25 years since the LC and it is pretty clear how people are doing in their careers.

If my peers are the ~30 others that were in the top class in secondary school, I have done badly from a career pov. I am also not in a relationship and don't have children so that could be considered a failure too although a fair amount of that is by choice. On the plus side, I probably have more money than most thanks to inheritances and extreme saving.

If my peers are those from my college course, I am probably about average or slightly above average from a career pov. A lot of those people were highly intelligent and top of their classes in their respective schools yet have had mediocre careers. The people who have done the best out of this college peer group are those who were the biggest assholes - cheats, liars and manipulators. This is less apparent in my secondary school peer group but it's a factor there too. Reasonable intelligence + being an asshole correlates with success in life IME.

Motivator

A guy who wasn’t the most popular or academic was always fixated on becoming a pilot. He absolutely wanted nothing else in life and he was one of those guys that just kind of blended in and got by in school. I hadn’t met him in 20 years but I added him on Instagram last year and was absolutely amazed to see he’s now a pilot for Aer Lingus.

I was in school with utter wasters who were always going to be wasters 20 years down the line. I was in school with a couple of ridiculously intelligent people who are no consultants in hospitals in Dublin and I turned out pretty much as I was supposed to really. Middle of the road so to speak. But the guy who’s the pilot, he wins hands down. Absolutely delighted to see someone actually go and pursue a dream they had and actually succeed.

Mech1

I left school before my cse exams (Northern Ireland) but I still attended 3 exams scheduled, Maths Physics and Computer studies. I got grade 1 in all of those but I wanted to fix cars so that was what I was at.

I'm 54 now, I never had to buy or tax insure a car ever, always a garage policy insurance and always something that I could drive every evening.

Today I run my own garage, and loving it.

Degree's ain't for everyone just do what you enjoy.

growleaves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118617306#Comment_118617306

Sounds like he had clear direction and strong motivation while a lot of people are drifting.

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058232524/how-are-you-doing-compared-to-the-peers-you-grew-up-with

I went to a similar school where classes were graded as yours were after all entrants completed an entry exam. Always felt it likely was very damaging to the self-confidence of those in lower classes as everyone knew why ended up in whatever class you were in.

I was in the top class and was bullied by some guys I knew for being a 'swot' literally in the first week of 1st year and one of those guys who was involved in that continued with that form of bullying for the next 3 years. Some of the teachers were absolute demons in how they belittled those in lower classes and effectively bullied them with statements like 'any wonder you're in this class when you couldn't even do that, learn that' and so on.

Some of the students didn't help themselves, making it clear they had no interest in school, but the class identification literally told them you are on the bottom rung here. I can understand why it was done, in theory it allowed classes to move at a consistent level but in application I think it definitely negatively impacted many.

As for comparison with my peers? Who's to say? Depends on the metric. One of those people I talk about above left even before the junior cert and started working as a block layer apprentice in the mid 90's and rode the celtic tiger wave like a pro and was probably making more than any of the teachers in the school by the time he was 18. Built several houses himself and sold them on throughout his 20's. Think he suffered health difficulties then and lost a lot of what he had earned. Met another guy about 5 years after we left school and he had 4 kids at that point and I just couldn't fathom having that level of responsibility at that age. 20 years later and I have zero and unlikely to have any which does get to me but I don't know if I'd want to have at what he had if that was the alternative.

Mech1

Sorry I forgot my peers,,, don't know anyone I went to school with, I ended up in Australia for a while and then straight to Dublin, Belfast was too much trouble to be bothered about.

freshpopcorn

We're out of school over a decade.

Well nobody has murdered anybody yet.

Those who were smart in 1st class were fairly consistent all the ways through school and went onto university and did medicine, law etc.

A few who's mammy hammered there ABC's into them tough were average in secondary.

A few pushed themselves to get into college. Some stayed at it and others didn't.

A nice few of us went to IT's and didn't stick at it and eventually found jobs in other areas.

Nearly all the people in my college class dropped out of the course and went into different areas.

One guy I went to school with killed himself.

A few people I knew at college died.

A few people never did much realtionshop/carer wise but stayed out of trouble with the law.

Those who were trouble generally are now also. Robberies, drugs assault, traffic offences, etc.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118617542#Comment_118617542

Quite grim reading. Any happy stories?

I myself think I was middle of the pack in school and am still middle of the pack in life. Which I am content about. I lack the drive and energy to get myself to the top in life. I am also not socially adept and considering those factors I think I am doing quite well. Have a wife and son which makes me happier than any career successes I've had.

Sgt Hartman

I just went on to have a rather modest job in science although I've a really good partner, family, friend base and a dream place to live which more than makes up for it ☺️

In my old secondary school class, one guy had a dream back then of being a fireman and he actually went on an achieved that. He's still a fireman to this day. Another really decent lad from my class went into science also and worked in it for a number of years. He now owns his own pub in Limerick with his brother. Another old friend of mine from my class is involved in music production and has played/DJed with several groups over the years. My cousin who was a year ahead of me, and another lad who was in the same year as me were both members of a boyband called Remix for a while. They even got some TV time on a Saturday Morning kids show playing one of their numbers. They didn't make it big though sadly.

freshpopcorn

@[Deleted User] I think most of us are happy but apart from a few Doctors. There's no big exciting jobs from my class.

BaywatchHQ

I think I'm probably the most unsuccessful person ever to come out of my grammar school. I can't imagine how anyone would be less successful than me, unless you died early I suppose. I don't look anyone up as I have no interest in knowing what they are doing.

In terms of my primary school group, they probably aren't as successful as the secondary school peers but still more successful than me.

I don't have any friends nowadays so it doesn't bother me about others success. When you don't hang around successful people it doesn't bother you what others are doing.

jolivmmx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118618083#Comment_118618083

Success is all relative. If somebody is making their money by screwing over people and making the world worse for other people, is that actually success? Grammar schools have such a narrow definition of success.

Lots of people experience social isolation. I guess it is only a problem if it bothers you.

Hope you have a nice weekend!

jolivmmx

Success is such a relative concept. I know this person who went to an elitist, top-rank university abroad. In his 40s, he was in an entry-level job in his profession. While he still was above the median wage, he used to receive these silly correspondences from his old university, stating the median income of their alumni is 100k. He used to feel like such a failure. And yet, to many, he was a success. We all have our own idea of success. And often it is way too limited. Successful people are those that manage to find some happiness and a relationship that makes them happy, while not marrying themselves to their jobs….

Deregos.

When covid forced the early lockdowns I joined Facebook and reconnected with my old school friends. I'd had no contact with any of them in over forty years as I'd moved away from my hometown in England to Ireland. It was great catching up with some of my classmates again and getting all the gossip on what had happened in the intervening years. They told me loads of tales about what had become of different lads from our year. One of the brighter ones had moved to California and had gone on to receive an award for designing the parachute systems used by NASA and SpaceX but he was the exception really, the rest of us all have all gone on to live fairly conventional lives.

Another guy they did tell me about was paralysed from the neck down after a diving accident and then they also told me how the class bully had been stabbed through the heart by his partner for sexually molesting her child.

Must say what I was most surprised at was how a few of them had never changed their personalities that much from how they behaved when we were at school, as in they hadn't grown up at all, very immature sense of humour and sending each other (and me) idiotic porn videos on Facebook messenger. After a few months of this nonsense I got pissed-off with it and closed my account.

electric_sleep

.

take everything

This is a subject close to my heart.

Anytime I look up someone in my class in school I find they are excelling. It's genuinely weird how out of a dozen or so people every single one has gone on to excel.

The first four in my class:

One is on the board of directors of a bank having done a PhD in Quantum Physics and gold-medalled every year in Theoretical Physics.

Me: a disappointment 😀 (a degree and a Masters but overall no real direction; I've never done anything great).

Next is a professor of dentistry/editor of International journals.

Next I think is a CEO (might be wrong about that).

Next is a commercial airline pilot.

The odd thing is I got the highest percentage in Differential Aptitude testing (literally mid to high 90s in most areas except one) among all these people, supposedly making me suitable for any career (ha, what a joke).

Yet everywhere I turn people are doing better than me. I'm a genuine enigma to myself.

The go-to explanation might be a personality disorder but no, nothing off about my personality either according to personality testing.

I have this theory that anyone who I've ever know becomes successful.

And it does bother me that whatever potential I clearly did/do have is being wasted. An awful feeling really.

Mister Vain

I haven't seen any of them in years, apart from one woman I went to primary school with. She recently got divorced. I had two close friends in secondary school. One had a nervous breakdown and ended up in a really bad way. The other works in retail and is married with a few kids.

I remember scrolling through bebo years ago and seeing a lot of the lads I went to school with living in Australia and NZ. They seemed to be doing fairly well for themselves. I've no idea what they're at now though.

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118621280#Comment_118621280

You might just be unlucky ,I don't believe in God but I do believe the universe puts obstacles constantly in some peoples way and tries to mess with their best laid plans.

out of 100 taking French in my year for Leaving cert, 4 got an honour and another 3 passed. So a sh1tload couldn't matriculate anywhere.

Success is relative so I really can't say whether or not the people I went to school with are successful, and most of them I haven't a clue what they are doing.

I have an idea about a few who I was friendly with. One is in a public sector job and married with a few kids. Another has a corporate type job and married with a few kids. They were 'good girls'.

Back in the day it seemed to me that they never knew a day's hardship or hurt. No losses, no broken hearts, no hopes thrown in to smithereens. Now I know that was likely not the case.

The few others I am aware of are doing well enough. One is a single parent, one re trained in her mid thirties, a past frenemy is exactly as I would expect......

The bullies I know nothing of and I'm happy to keep it that way. A few of the 'too cool for school' types are a mixed bag I think. Last I heard of one he was managing a euro zone or one of those sort of shops. A few of the women from the group are housewives. Or were.

Strumms

1 died of cancer in ‘16… real nice guy but as a kid he always seemed to have ailment after ailment, illness after illness… must be an unlucky family as he lost his sister a few years previously and his father died quiet young too.

1 works in the same industry I did… a contractor of my ex employer I had numerous dealings as did other colleagues, he’s doing good, on about 55-60 grand but an absolute dose who despite being tasked with working for us was slow as fûck to meet deadlines or provide ad hoc support when required.

2 now are in a band together who are in demand for corporate events, a residency in a swanky hotel bar and also work recording tv soundtracks . One too is a session musician who played on a Paul Brady record I think if memory serves me well or someone of that ilk anyway..nice lads, good to see them doing well at something they love.

Me, I’m still alive, returning to health after a difficult few years but the future is bright, sky the limit

Daisy78

You shouldn't need to be in a relationship to be considered a success. Don't understand why someone is classed as a failure if they happen not to be married or partnered up, luck plays a big part in that coming to pass. Lots of great people with plenty going for them who just never met anyone.

Ash.J.Williams

This is something I worried about, then I quit my job and eventually got lucky and now don’t worry anymore

magicbastarder

a guy i knew in secondary school is a famous hollywood actor.

a guy i knew in college is a famous hollywood actor.

i'm not a famous hollywood actor.

AMKC

No idea. Don't really care either. Never had friends in school or after it. Never needed any.

Galwayguy35

No idea what most of my class are doing now as they all moved away once the LC was done and dusted.

One guy appears on Room to Improve now and again when Dermot Bannon wants to show people fitted kitchens.

passatman86

I have the most "thanks" on boards from anyone in my school year. So yeah im a fairly big deal.

Thanks