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  • 15-01-2022 10:54am
    Registered Users Posts: 1 Piehole15

    Hi Can I please get some advice!

    We have a 16 year old French student staying with us for the year.

    She really gets on well and became a part of the family from day 1.

    We have 2 younger children, 4 and 8.

    She has recently started dating an older boy from school. Since then she is really pushing our buttons.

    She only wants to meet him at his house which is a 20 min drive away. We have cut out playdates for our own kids for the moment due to Covid but she continues to challenge us on this.

    We are on a main bus route and she has always been happy to meet friends to go for lunch, bowling ,cinema etc.

    We drop and collect her from school, bring her to 2 after school activities per week. My husband and I work opposite shifts we just have 1 day off together per week.

    I know she has a lot more freedom here and a great social life.

    We feel she is using the place like a hotel these days, doesn't bother with our kids and we are working around her schedule and requests. I basically feel like a pushover for being too nice from the start.

    Is it unreasonable to not have a boyfriend over or her over there when we are responsible for her. All new to us!

    Post edited by Niamh on


  • Employee Posts: 12,597 ✭✭✭✭✭ Niamh Community Manager

    Hi @Piehole15 welcome to Boards! I have moved your query to the Teens and Pre-teens forum although this is mainly for parents of teens and your situation is a little bit different. Hopefully you can get some helpful advice here anyway.

  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,813 Mod ✭✭✭✭ shesty

    My first question has to be do her parents know

    I know she is 16, but what would their rules be for her with a boyfriend?That is still a bit of a borderline age to me.

    After that I would start drawing boundaries.If you had a 16 year old girl, what would your rules be for her if she was in a relationship?I am sure people with teens here will have advice on rules that they have in their house for this stuff.

    You aren't a taxi service, and she is still 16, in school, and has things to do during the week.Also not sure how his parents feel about her sititng in his house all the time?

    Definitely time to put the foot down a bit.