My friend

thesultan

Last night i lost a close friend through suicide. My head is a bit all over the place as i write this. Im a year older than him and for years we attended concerts together. I say about 30. 3/4s were ocean colour scene and we had fantastic times. We became a bit distance as we got older and i entered a long term relationship and he did in the last few years. His one wasn't a good one. His girlfriend was an alcho and was known to stray. The thing was it was his first full time girl and while she had kids from a previous relationship they got on really well with him. He was a very thoughtful man was socially shy but a great friend. They spilt up a few times but he never got over it and in the end it controlled and ended his logic..

We went on a holiday together to. Tenerife 2012 late winter. I was longing for a woman that showed no interest and was on a kind of downer. The plave was quiet and the availability of meetings girls was hindered to two shy men. One night when totally over doing the drink and walking drunkardly by the beach i was robbed by two hookers.

I was in a bad way(they stole my recently deceases grandmothers necklace.) i have never experienced this before or since but on that two story balcony i wanted to jump. My head was fried.. I didnt do it but needed out of the place. I faked a tooth ace and my friend gave me money for a flight home. I ruined it but he understood much to his nature as a man. He stayed on for the remainder. I will be forever grateful for him for that.

When i think of the long car journeys to Dublin we spoke about everything and had a very open friendship. I looked back in old whats app messages today and we spoke we were on about a failed suicide. He said i hope i never get into that state of mind that the darkness comes over me. It did and why didn't you speak to me.

Piollaire

Sorry for your loss

Tell me how

Sorry to hear that OP. Unfortunately, he didn't talk to you because he wasn't able to think clearly and just wanted the pain to stop.

Do you have real life people you can share with how this is impacting you? you need to be able to deal with this in an appropriate way that won't negatively impact your own life. Be kind to yourself over the next extended amount of time and if you do what you wished your friend did and talk to someone about what is going on with you.

Deregos.

I'm sorry that you lost your friend so tragically. He sounded like a lovely fella, you were good friends. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you that things will eventually get better for you.

Stay safe.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058227172/my-friend

I've lost far too many friends through suicide.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Keep strong and keep in touch with those around you. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help or for company.

You will be ok

I'm so sorry to hear this. Please take care of yourself. As a volunteer in crisis intervention, every individual lost to suicide is incredibly painful. And I get a horrible feeling in my stomach when I hear of another gone too soon.

If you want to chat about it at any time, you can text HELLO to 50808 (if in Ireland). There is no pressure or judgement and no one will give you advice or tell you what to do.

Liberty_Bear

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058227172/my-friend

Jesus mate I am very sorry to hear about this and I am heart broken for you. You two sounded like brothers an. Its a tragedy. As the poster above said you can text HELLO to 50808 (if in Ireland). Maybe share your memories or your thoughts here. Im at a loss for words but just wish could give you a big hug mate xx

Ger Roe

Sorry for your loss... it is a standard phrase, but it is well meant and probably all that most of us can offer, on an internet chat board.

I hope that you can get to talk to someone in the real world who can take the time to listen and understand. Contact that person and tell them that you need to talk. If that is not possible at the moment, or at a particular time when you feel most lost ... text the number suggested, or call some of the other 'listening' agencies to speak to a real person.

If, when you feel stronger, you think that you may want to help others in similar situations - the HSE can provide some free training.

https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/mental-health-services/connecting-for-life/training/types-of-training/

Help, is always available... it is sad that many people feel overwhelmed don't know where to look, or how to start the process of seeking help. I have done some of the training listed above and forgot about most of it ..... until a situation arose when I was then very glad that it came back to me and I could help someone who needed it.

Talk to someone and look after yourself, first.

I’ve nothing to add except sorry for your loss OP. Hopefully opening this thread will help you grieve and also talk about how you feel- it’s good to see you communicating - I hope you have a good support structure around you right now

take care

thesultan

It has a bit thanks. I was crying writing it.

AckwelFoley

Very sorry for your loss.

I came very close to same only last year. My best friend for the last 25 years, someone that I've credited with changing my life through his very outgoing nature.

He is in a very difficult situation, he gave up his career to be a full time carer for his mother that has now late stage alzheimer's.

It has affected his ability to socialise and have a relationship or start a family and now because of covid it has only isolated him more. I've spent alot of time meeting in the garden for a pint and chatting so it came as a shock when I heard he was taken to hospital. I knew something was off when I heard that.

His sister rang me that night and told me he tried to kill himself in the garage by leaving the car running. He had passed out when he was found.

I tell no lie, I cried, hard. A mix of emotions, one being that he didn't talk to me. The shoe was very much on the other foot years ago and he was brilliant. I came very close to losing my best mate and I shook me for quite a while

I was aware of the difficulties he had but perhaps not how accutely they were troubling him.

There are quite a few people that take such drastic actions at this time of the year.

I'm genuinely sorry for you situation. It's not easy