Cannot Sleep

jolivmmx

Hi,

i was hoping for some advice because I am not sure if I am being unfair:

I live on a new estate. The houses are terrace. There is a wooden partition directly opposite our house. The neighbours have several children. I work nights. It has ruined my ability to have a deep sleep. The young children kick the ball against the wood before school for about 20+ minutes. It makes a loud bang, that wakes me up. I end up being exhausted in work as I don’t get a right sleep (I should be sleeping now :( )

My mother tells me to grin and bear it, as kids will be kids. My partner told me to move into the back room?

I understand that the issue is more with me and my light sleep.

what do you reckon?

Thanks a million!

Personally I would move into the back room for the purpose of sleeping if there is a bed there or one can easily be placed there. Kids can continue to play & get all-important exercise, you can sleep.

turbot

You can't blame kids for being active during the day - when you work nights.

You can wear earplugs... and run a fan in the background for white noise.

square ball

Worked nights for a few years and always woke a lot easier when sleeping during the day than I would at night time.

There is a lot more noise during the day as people are up and out and very hard to stop kids from making noise outside. I'm not sure what you could do to stop them from kicking a ball off a wall anyway.

I used to sleep with music on it used to drown out normal day to day sounds. There is always going to be some noise in an estate during the day. I would get earplugs to be honest.

jolivmmx

It is 7-7:30am in the morning. It is not during the day

Jequ0n

I think it’s perfectly acceptable to ask the neighbours not to have them kick stuff taking before school. Have you spoken to them yet?

Sure kids will be kids, but that’s not a carte blanche to make noise whenever it suits them.

Padre_Pio

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118425180#Comment_118425180

Would it make a difference if it was 9 or 10am? You'd still be woken up.

jolivmmx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118425199#Comment_118425199

Well, if they were in school, they would not be kicking the ball and I wouldn’t be woken at 9am or 10am.

When you are going into a long set of nights, every hour extra of sleep counts. 9am or 10am is more reasonable than 7am.

jolivmmx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118425198#Comment_118425198

My mother told me not to be that difficult neighbour and to say nothing.

My brother used to play soccer outside a neighbour’s house when we were young. The neighbour complained. My mother told me that everybody judged our neighbour for complaining and they need to just accept it.

It is not the playing, per se, it is the fact that it is 7-7:30an that bothers me and I have a long night ahead..

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118425229#Comment_118425229

But you aren’t being difficult, if you are simply letting them know why this is an inconvenience for you. It’s not like you are feeling mildly perturbed while slurping your breakfast coffee, but has an impact on your work.

You can be sure that you are not the only person who is bothered by this. It also seems like a situation that can be easily resolved.

jolivmmx

Thanks a million JeQu0n! I think that it is one of those things that I have built up in my head!

Big Bag of Chips

What's the problem with moving into the back room? 7-7:30 is quite early (and pitch dark) for kids to be kicking a ball against a wall. If you want to say something to the parents then that is your prerogative. But, I think I'd be trying other steps first. Such as moving to a room away from road noise.

SmallgirlBigcity

Yeah I'd definitely move rooms first anyway and see if that helps. I also highly recommend a white noise machine. You can get them online. Im a light sleeper and sleep much better with mine on. It is annoying that the kids are kicking a ball but there's probably no point in saying it to them. Even if they agreed not to do it in the mornings, they're going to be off school all summer anyway and playing in the garden so that would probably keep you awake during the day anyway.

Thelonious Monk

Not a great sleeper here either and lack of routine or any disturbances feck it up. I would first of all try and get out of the situation where you have to work nights, because that isn't going to help. Is working nights a long term thing? The silicone ear plugs are very good but for me the best thing that ever worked for noise was just wet toilet paper shoved into my ears, nothing has worked better for me or been more comfortable for me.

Black out blinds and black out curtains help too, I have both in my room now as the sun rises where my windows face.

Best of luck, it can be very frustrating when you have things like this keeping you awake, years of sharing with noisy flatmates has me sympathising with you, I'm lucky enough to live alone now but I've been through the wars so I feel your pain!

Jequ0n

I am perplexed to see how many people find it acceptable to have kids kick around stuff before school time. Monotonous kicking sounds against a wooden fence is annoying for everyone, and I can’t see how the OPs needs have to be deprioritised, and be forced to sleep in a spare bedroom.

Unless you’re living in a remote area every neighbour should show some level of consideration.

Strumms

It’s unlikely a chat with the parents would do anything…

they are obviously aware that their kids are out playing football at 7am and the associated noise that would cause.

what are the noise laws here ? Is it 8am ? Get some clarification… then when woken, record the noise… although legal I wouldn’t record them on video playing, just the noise… it’s probably to be honest going to be way down the list of Garda priorities…. I’ve known them to be completely lacking interest as regards actual low level crime, so this….I’d say regardless of legislation to protect you, it’s really feck all use when you have a system and a fair cohort of Gardai these days who are of little interest in doing this sort of work…

Pawwed Rig

It is still dark at that time of the morning. Are you saying there are kids out playing in the dark, rain and cold at that time? Hardier than my kids.

Move to the back room. I wouldn't be falling out with neighbours without good reason. I did nights for years. You need to deal with these issues. I had one neigbour whose alarm would go off at least once a week and I would hear the internal alarm for the whole day. I don't miss night shifts

lea26

Oh my god , I really feel your pain. I had the exact same issue where I used to live. It would go on until 11pm at night most of the year. Could never sit and relax in the evenings as the relentless ball kicking would give me anxiety. Made my life hell, to top it off the neighbours had a dog that was locked up in garden crying all day long which was even more frustrating as I love dogs.

An anonymous letter in their door, there is no point in approaching them yourself as people get very defensive when it comes to their precious children. But if they are aware they might do something about it and if they don't, keep sending them until they do 😆

spaceHopper

I think it would cost you nothing to try the back room, get blackout blinds too. They may be trying to get kids to brun of energy before school, it helps some kids. It's not their fault you work nights too.

If you try the back room and it doesn't work at least when you approach the parents you can say you tried moving rooms.

How about changing jobs or getting off nights

Fandymo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118430332#Comment_118430332

Noise laws are 7am-10pm afaik for building.

sporina

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058226180/cannot-sleep

have you tried ear plugs?

the whole year inn

Move to the back room, job done. I work nights aswell , you just have to do what's easier for you .

BabysCoffee

I'd move to the back room - the noisiest bin company arrives on our street at 6.30am to clatter the bins around (I honestly think they make as much noise on purpose as when the other bin company arrives in the afternoon they seem to be able to do the bins with far less noise and fanfare) - anyway we moved in to the back bedroom in order to not hear this noise........and it worked!

Get ear plugs, black out blinds and any other necessary pieces sorted for a good sleep and hopefully problem solved.

blackbox

I'm not claiming to be an expert, but I have experience of shift work.

It was worst for me when I worried about not getting enough sleep.

You probably need less sleep than you think. If your body REALLY needs sleep, you will drop off. After working shift for a while I was able to sleep anywhere irrespective of what was going on around me.

I suggest that if you are awoken by noise that you read a book in bed for a while. If you stay awake, you don't need the sleep, so no worries. If you fall asleep, no worries.

Just make sure you have an alarm that will definitely wake you when you need to (so you don't have to worry about that either).

I hope this helps.

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118524537#Comment_118524537

I remember the days of lying in bed during the day reading as I couldn't sleep. Finally dropping off for an hour or 2 and then waking up dog tired at 5pm with a 12 hr shift ahead of me. The following morning driving home literally falling asleep at the wheel. I was extremely lucky twice not to kill myself or others.

You need your sleep. No 2 ways about it.

Tork

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118523333#Comment_118523333

I did this years ago in a house-share when the back room became vacant. I tried the room out and after having a better night's sleep than I'd had in the front bedroom, I switched. I didn't give a stuff about the room being smaller and having no en-suite. What also can help is if you get your phone or smart speaker to play white noise for a while. It's quite effective at drowning out other sounds.

Once kids get into the mood for playing ball games, trying to stop them is a pain in the backside. Complaining to the parents or telling them to play elsewhere only lasts for so long. I remember it well from when I was a kid and used to hang out with my friends on an estate. We used to sit on one particular lady's wall even though we knew she didn't want us to. She'd come out every now and then and run us, but we'd always return. It wasn't out of spite - it was because we just liked sitting on that particular wall and we could put up with the occasional outburst from her. I daresay today's kids could be a more insolent bunch than we were, and might give you grief if you kick up a stink.

Liberty_Bear

I have a colleague who swears by one of the meditation apps, I can try find out what one it is or its a youtube video series. She plays it in the background and tends to drift off to it. Focuses her mind to tune out what is going on around her in the external environment. Personally Ive found a hot shower and a podcast work, clears the head if its something interesting.