Wedding Guestlist

HowsItGoing910

Hey all,

How do you go about narrowing down your guestlist? We've a large close family (siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc...) so we've limited space for friends. How do we decide who makes the cut - obviously are close friends are definites but after that? We'd have friends from sports we see most weeks, co-workers, friends we speak to daily but haven't seen in over 12 months, etc...

Cheers

Princess Calla

Well for sports friends and work friends don't give a +1 on the invite. Just explain you'd love their company but you have to keep numbers down and you hope they can make it.

I've been to work weddings and even though we were given a +1 we all (bar 1) decided to fly solo rather than "babysit" our partners.

People understand that the majority of people don't have an endless budget.

yourdeadwright

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058226059/wedding-guestlist

Don't forget in these strange times some people will not want to attend weddings,

Id wouldn't be surprised if some people come back to you & say they can't attend, Isn't it normally aorund 10% could be higher depending on ages of your guest and if many live abroad,

prince_90

Just invite one member from the less interactive guests

castletownman

I am in a bit of a pickle too.

We are both from large families, although I would have far more cousins than she would. I hand-picked my cousins whose weddings I was at (being the eldest it was a lot during the years) and those I considered friends. I actually found it easy to cull the rest, either through them being abroad or just snobby .

I applied the same criteria to my friends and GAA colleagues- no issues there.

Two annoying things have cropped up. As well as her cousins, my fiancé has invited ALL their kids too, some of them being babies and toddlers. I think it's overkill.

Furthermore, after complaining that I had too many on my list, my mother proceeded to add an extra 24 'friends', including two couples I cannot stand and whom wouldn't know me from Adam nevermind talk to me. I want to have some authority in who I invite, but don't want to upset the applecart either when they will be paying for some of the wedding itself.

Neyite

We restricted it to aunts uncles and siblings (and siblings' families) No cousins, and just some very close friends.

HowsItGoing910

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118460620#Comment_118460620

Cousins kids... oh no! We had initially done that but they've been scratched off the list.

What are people doing say with a group of mates - some of the group you'd be close too but others you wouldn't be too close too - is it OK to pick and choose, inviting just the less close mates to the afters or would this cause conflicts/issues?

castletownman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118466970#Comment_118466970

We have basically limited mine to couples who we are both friendly with. Our wedding is far enough away to avoid the hassle of "afters" invites thankfully, and our day two will be in a local pub with an open invite for anyone that didn't come to the wedding.

witchgirl26

For me the only children allowed are those of our siblings, and if someone has a baby they are feeding (bottle or otherwise). Other than that, sorry no. I'm only asking some of my cousins - I have too many and honestly I wasn't at half of their weddings so if they get annoyed, they can lump it. I think it's important to prioritise the people in your lives together that matter the most to you, see what number that gets you to in regards invites and work out the remainder. There's some family members of mine that I wouldn't mind asking but will possibly be sacrificed for some friends who have I'd be closer to. And we're not really doing afters invites as it's a bit away from everything & I doubt any afters crowd would stay over so a bit crap for them. Plus with restrictions, they may not be let.

yourdeadwright

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118488195#Comment_118488195

Have to agree,

We have decided our own kids won't be at the dinner/after's just the actually ceremony ,

Our youngest son & youngest daughter just would not give "mammy " a minute , Its not there fault as they are still very young but its her wedding day i want her to enjoy it ,

We have told our brother's & sister's they can bring there's if they like to the ceremony but that's it,

Currently there is a limit of 100 guest so we don't want kids taking up spots, You have to be a bit ruthless with the numbers,

With Aunts /Uncles i have invited only those who live in the country , Even ones who are quite close to but live over sea's we cut them from the list, If anyone is offended we shall just say with Covid we didn't want to put pressure on anyone to travel,

I will only invite one cousin because they live down the road & are more of a friend than cousin,

I also won't be inviting anyone i work with and i know them all over a decade, I think if you go for a very small wedding or a very large wedding its easy to pick guest but in the middle it becomes more difficult,

We really would love to have everyone but we have planned for 100 & even if things changes we will not change that number to much hassle,

Wickan3080

Have recently went through this my advise is invite who you want and hang about with. Then whatever uncle/aunts/cousins you interact with and forget about anyone else.