Am I still bi?

VENEATS

First off, I accept trans people and I dont want this to be used as an attack on trans people. I think they are very brave to come out and they are far behind L, G, and B people in acceptance etc so please be respectful.

My issue is not with trans people per se, but what I’d assume is the more extreme TRAs. I’m bisexual. I believed that to be attracted to both sexes. This has now changed to two genders, which putting it simply is not me. It may sound like a silly distinction but my identity means something to me.

I don’t know when this definition changed but I’d like it changed back. Respect is a two way street and at this point in time, I’m not seeing it returned.

By it’s very definition, I’m no longer bi. If I’m not bi what do you call someone attracted to both sexes?

Harryd225

What are you even on about

VENEATS

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373515#Comment_118373515

I thought I was self explanatory. I’m a guy who likes both sexes. I’m not a guy that likes two genders. For example I would date someone who identified as a man, woman, nb etc? What am I? It used to be known as bi, but that’s when bi meant sex not gender.

Harryd225

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373527#Comment_118373527

That's all just jibberish to me I haven't a clue what you're on about, anyway call yourself whatever you want.

Some of us are into a bit of everything, bisexuality, homesexuality, bestiality, is that still regarded as bi if you're into all that?

VENEATS

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373537#Comment_118373537

have a good night. Thanks for having a great opinion. Good on you! Great job

Harryd225

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373541#Comment_118373541

I'm just winding you up man😂 don't mind me

SamStonesArm

You're still bi . Bisexual , dunno what the other poster found so hard to understand .

berocca2016

I get you. What you are saying is that you are into cis-gendered males and females. But you feel labelling yourself as bisexual implies you are sexuality attracted to trans folk who are non cis-gendered males and females.

What I would say is that sex and gender are too related but different constructs. Yes you are bisexual because you are into cis gendered males and females, the fact that transfolk are part of the sexes you are into does not make your bisexuality less valid, equally the fact that you are not sexually attracted to transfolk does not make their gender less valid.

VENEATS

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373546#Comment_118373546

Im not a forget about the T crowd or an LGB alliance guy, but if bisexual means attraction to two genders (as opposed to two sexes, it’s former definition) that doesn’t describe me.

VENEATS

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373551#Comment_118373551

Not entirely. I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of dating a trans person. My issue is more the definition of bisexual being of two genders. There are many genders. I could easily be attracted to more than two genders (e.g men women non binary) rendering my BIsexuality kind of mute.

I am only attracted to two sexes though and thus I believe bisexuality should return, by definition, to sex attraction.

berocca2016

So you're pansexual so?

cloudatlas

Isn't this kind of confusion why people have started identifying as pan-sexual. I had a friend who was a gay cis male, then he identified as non binary and now she/ they/trans. Their new partner was a cis female lesbian who has transitioned and is a FTM so they are now both pan, but they aren't truly pan in my opinion as they wouldn't have been attracted to the opposite sex before they transitioned. Now folks will reply and say you are never 100% gay but the speed with which the switch has been achieved surprises me. One is on hormones so maybe that has influenced their new attraction but then..... it just gets more confusing.

VENEATS

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373559#Comment_118373559

And herein lies my problem. I’ve been a bisexual man for 10+ years. That is my identity, I just don’t think the definition of my identity should’ve changed. My identity should be just as important as a trans identity. And, again, not blaming all trans.

And pansexual is all genders. Tbh, I don’t even know all the genders out there.

VENEATS

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373560#Comment_118373560

It may sound petty, but I’ve been a bi guy for 10+ years. That’s my identity. I’m not pansexual. I think bisexual should have remained as a sex attraction and make a new sexuality for those who are attracted to two genders.

DullSpark

I think you might be a bit of a trisexual in that you will try anything

Annasopra

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373537#Comment_118373537

Wtf is this? No being into bestiality isnt regarded as bi.

Liberty_Bear

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058224331/am-i-still-bi

Hey buddy

I can see what you are saying - you are attracted to both cis men and women. Traditionally it is called Bi sexual and the terms are fluidic in nature (indeed pansexual, demisexual etc etc are all now used to describe different attractions). The onus is on yourself to look at the definitions and you go where you are comfortable. :)

LLMMLL

There's nothing really new going on here. Dictionary definitions are a bit of an illusion. They're fine in most cases as we all agree what some words mean and who or what they apply to. But when there's disagreement over the meaning of words dictionary definitions are useless.

For example there have always been men who like cis women and trans women but are not into men. This is nothing new, nothing to do with the recent trans debates etc. I would describe them as straight. Others would describe them as bi. Taking out a dictionary is never going to resolve that difference.

If anyone asks you can tell them you're bisexual and if they want more clarification you can explain what YOU mean by bisexual.

But if you are upset that some people use a word differently to you then maybe have a chat with Shakespeare or Chaucer. Language changes.

VENEATS

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118394766#Comment_118394766

The meaning of words (aka the purpose of a dictionary) doesn’t matter. What a weird take.

LLMMLL

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118403454#Comment_118403454

Not what I said at all.

Dictionary definitions are different than meaning.

Keep calling yourself bisexual. Everyone will understand what you mean. Everyone will know that you are into men you find attractive and women you find attractive.

What I meant was that it doesn't really matter if one person frames this as gender and another frames it as sex. The end result is largely the same.

iLikeWaffles

Who even cares, someone can identify as a traffic cone; we're still human!

OP, you're the guy who doesn't support the "LGBT movement" because of the use of the Q, and now you are questioning whether or not you are bi because you don't identify as being attracted to both genders, just both sexes.

For someone who struggles so much with being put into boxes, why do you continue to try to be put into boxes? And why do you see these boxes as fundamental to your identity?

Of course you are still bi. Bi to you means being attracted to both sexes. That is perfectly reasonable since you are attracted to those two types of bodies.

It would be much easier to just say "I am me. I like both men and women. I identify as myself."

VENEATS

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118404158#Comment_118404158

The meaning of words is important to me, so yes it annoys. In the same way being called queer annoys me. Thanks for answering my question, though.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118446474#Comment_118446474

The problem isn't unique to bisexuals, though OP.

Many trans- activists (not trans- people) argue that if a gay man doesn't sleep with a trans man (who still has female genitalia), then that is "sexual racism", to borrow the phrase recently coined by Stonewall in the UK.

I agree with you.

Our definitions have been destroyed.

brownej

I'm gay and I am attracted to men. I am not attracted to all men though.

Oh no!!!!! does this mean I'm not gay now.

Help! This is so confusing.

SamStonesArm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118506581#Comment_118506581

You're only half gay 🤣🤣

Annasopra

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118506581#Comment_118506581

Of course it doesnt mean you are not gay.

brownej

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118508212#Comment_118508212

Whew thats a relief. Because I really love the D. Id hate to think I wouldn't be gay because I wasn't attracted to all men.

Annasopra

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118510732#Comment_118510732

This is...... sillly.... Noone has said this. Noone has said a straight man must be attracted to all women.

Not even sure why its even being discussed given noone said it.

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118512793#Comment_118512793

Methinks they were being facetious.

AllForIt

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118394766#Comment_118394766

For example there have always been men who like cis women and trans women but are not into men. This is nothing new, nothing to do with the recent trans debates etc. I would describe them as straight. Others would describe them as bi. Taking out a dictionary is never going to resolve that difference.

Oh really, never heard of that. By what personal experience, or otherwise, can you make this claim? Do tell.