Do you think Slut is a bad word?

AMKC

If someone called you a slut would you be offended or happy?

I have no problem with it.

EmmetSpiceland

As with most things, it would depend on who said it and how it was said.

Still stihl waters 3

Only when she spits in my mouth while pegging me, anything outside of that and I get offended

Slut has negative connotations. It's 2021, I would prefer to use the term promiscuous.

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058222600/do-you-think-slut-is-a-bad-word

It says more about the person saying it than the person it is aimed at in todays world. But, for me, it still has negative connotations. I wouldn't be happy if it was aimed at someone I cared about, while at the same time I wouldn't judge them for their sexual habits.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118312572#Comment_118312572

So, hypothetically, if they were gangbanged by 20 homies and it was posted on a mainstream internet website, it wouldn't change your view of them one bit? Or are you saying, perhaps, what may have been regarded as promiscuous behaviour in the past, but has become relatively normal in today's society, would not impact on your view? It is a pretty broad spectrum.

Loafing Oaf

not really

I prefer being called a hussy if you don't mind! 😡

Loafing Oaf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118312513#Comment_118312513

indeed, case in point

Its a name overwhelmingly used against women, i can't think of too many women who would like the word so its a bad word yes.

the_pen_turner

of course its a bad word. pritty pointless having an insult that was a good word.

Thelonious Monk

It's a loaded word full of judgement so no I don't like it and dont think anyone should be judged on their sexual activity

silliussoddius

Not as good as stud.

It must be.. no positive connotations to the word..

Take cúnt, for example; somebody could be referred to as 'a cool cúnt' , which is respectful, positive, and friendly..

can't say the same for 'slut' though.. not much hope for that word to ever be used, or meant to be received in a positive fashion - otherwise those who complain about 'slut-shaming' would have reappropriated its meaning by taking ownership of said word, so as to diminish it's negative implications.. Could still happen - Lady Gaga would be favourite to lay the first stone in that endeavour, with Billie Eilish, perhaps, second in the betting 😊

Wasn't there a campaign to reclaim the word slut, with slut walks?

However, I've read this thread out of a 'How stupid can a thread be type of curiosity'. What next, do you think the word Nazi has bad connotations?

Jequ0n

There are quite a few women who like being called like this during some activities, so it can’t be bad.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118313028#Comment_118313028

Oh, you and your fantasies you little scamp.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118313025#Comment_118313025

Nazis have feelings too you know. Time to reclaim the word for the nazis with hearts of gold.

Old fashioned maybe?

has connotations of teenage boys or middle-aged men boasting about how many women they sleep with.

Gregor Samsa

I remember seeing a woman roar "Come back here you fúcking little slut!" to a kid who looked about 4 - that I assume was her daughter - on the street in Ennis years ago. That wasn't very nice.

FunLover18

As has been pointed out, it's a sexist term that is loaded with judgement and has no positive connotations. There's isn't an equally judgemental or negative word for promiscuous men.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118313485#Comment_118313485

Eh?

What else do you call man who sleeps with anything that is breathing?

FunLover18

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118313790#Comment_118313790

I've rarely if ever heard a man called a slut, it's a term reserved largely for women. Promiscuous men are judged far less harshly by society than promiscuous females, men are players or studs whereas women are sluts ore whores.

BurgerFace

The definition of slut is actually kind of different to how the word is used to describe a woman. The male version of slut is sloven which means unclean, lazy, etc. Slovenly behaviour describes a man who doesn't wash, lies about, generally a slob. So technically a female version would be a slut or slattern.

Anyway I would never call a woman a slut if she was sexually promiscuous. Good for her, I say. But I would describe a woman as slutty if she dressed provocatively...which I happen to like. It would be more of a cheeky comment with a hint of admiration.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118313844#Comment_118313844

That's either the traditional sense of the word... or those you hang out with.

Within my circle of friends, slut is used for both men and women. There's no belief that it's okay for men, and not okay for women.

oh, and plenty of women manage to get away with being players, they simply downplay/manage their activities better than men. And TBH most of the times I've heard slut being used (outside my circle of friends) it's been women calling another woman a slut.

There is a matter of convenience to assume that these kind of terms are mostly used by men about women, probably due to traditional stereotypes...

km991148

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118313790#Comment_118313790

LEEEEEGEND...

Nah seriously - I'd hear slut used for everyone, not a word I use much myself. As others said depends on context (traditionally of course it was a judgmental term toward women and still invokes that for a lot of people).

FunLover18

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118314834#Comment_118314834

I think your choice of language is interesting and I'm not saying it's deliberate or conscious on your part but women "get away with being players" as if it's a crime and they're sneaking under the radar and in order to do so they have to downplay or manage it. The only reason I can think of for a woman to do so is for fear of judgement. I don't think men face as much judgement when it comes to their sexual activities, I'm talking about societal judgement, not just judgement from men. Look at the history of this country alone, there were no men in the Magdalene laundries.

Perhaps the word is not as sexist as I believe (certainly other posters would support you there) but whether it's aimed at men or women, I still don't think it's particularly nice word but as mentioned above context is everything.

Larbre34

I remember my mother's elderly Aunt was getting on a bit and the family were trying to persuade her to take on some help in the house and with personal care and so on.

I distinctly remember witnessing her response one time being "Oh don't you all worry about me, I'm no slut!!"

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118315342#Comment_118315342

haha... you alert me to my use of language while ignoring your own. I used "get away with", because of the previous tone used when talking about players was negative.. anyway the general perception is that being a player involves trickery/manipulation, rather than simply sleeping around like that with Slut, which is more related to the physical. I suspect with Slut there's more jealousy involved, because it's far easier for women to get sex (if they want it) than it is for most men.

As for societal judgment, I suspect women experience more judgment from other women than from men, except when it relates to authority figures like a father or the parish priest. You're doing a disservice to the Magdalene laundries by linking it to this discussion.. there was more going on there than that. In any case, Irish society has moved far away from that kind of environment, and trying to link modern Irish society with what went on in the past (as if nothing has changed for women) is rather dishonest.

Context is indeed important. I don't particularly like the word "slut" myself, but then I don't particularly like the behavior associated with it either, regardless of whether it's connected with a man or a woman.

On judgement, people judge themselves far more than they are judged by society.

Women can be judgemental of other women, its is either a form of social positioning or a self-esteem issue more seriously it might be some form of emotionally unstable personality disorder making them intensity jealous of another woman.

With men, it's immaturity no matter what age the man saying it is, can also be a slight fear of women as well.

The only time I have heard a woman say it about another woman was to do with the promotion they didn't get the promotion and said the woman who got the promotion only got it became she sleep around with a few men in work, including the chairman of the interviewing board.

Apparently, the latest thing with teenage girls is if they do it, whatever it is, they risk being called a slut but if they are not doing it they are called stuck up and it's a judgment by both sexes of their peers.

B.A._Baracus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058222600/do-you-think-slut-is-a-bad-word

It's an insult so yeah it is a bad word. But who cares.

Riesen_Meal

What if she likes being called a slut?

🤷‍♂️

*Some* women do...

Loafing Oaf

If you want the word to have positive connotations seemingly you'll have to go back in time. Here's Samuel Pepys tweeting his praise for one of his servants

https://twitter.com/samuelpepys/status/834255236013359108

Feisar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118315867#Comment_118315867

God be with the days one could hump the help!

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118315750#Comment_118315750

I can clearly remember the same thing as a teen back in the 1980's. Nothing new there.

FunLover18

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118315657#Comment_118315657

That's a fair point and I really did mean yours was interesting, I wasn't trying to accuse you of anything. I think you're right in that I maybe am revealing some of my own biases, when I think about "player" I am picturing a cliche toxic male whose view of women leads a lot to be desired which is a massive generalisation on my part. Perhaps you're right and there is some jealousy at play but I also think there's just plain double standards and perhaps I'm guilty of it myself as above.

Apologies if you think I'm being dishonest about or doing the Magdalene laundries, that was not my intention, but those institutions represent certain attitudes (especially towards women) for a lot of people they were only one generation ago, yes Ireland has progressed massively but those attitudes don't just disappear and I don't think you can analyse Irish society today without considering what happened in the past to shape it. Thankfully it is a small minority and I'm not trying to paint it as anything bigger but it is there and from my experience slut is often utilised when it does arise.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118316254#Comment_118316254

 when I think about "player" I am picturing a cliche toxic male whose view of women leads a lot to be desired which is a massive generalisation on my part.

That's understandable because the phrase "player" tends to come from the creepy PUA style of dating.. same with the greasy Italian or Spanish players at the hotel resorts. Although, then again, I know many men/women in their 40s who are single, and are definitely players, but it's lightyears different from the stereotype. It's just that the stereotype is far more widely promoted especially in the women's romantic novels. It's no secret that many women fantasize about men being bastards... sexy bastards, but bastards nonetheless.

Perhaps you're right and there is some jealousy at play but I also think there's just plain double standards and perhaps I'm guilty of it myself as above

Oh you're right, there are double standards. I'd say that the use of double standards is extremely common for both men and women..

Apologies if you think I'm being dishonest about or doing the Magdalene laundries, that was not my intention, but those institutions represent certain attitudes (especially towards women) for a lot of people they were only one generation ago, yes Ireland has progressed massively but those attitudes don't just disappear and I don't think you can analyse Irish society today without considering what happened in the past to shape it.

Some basic logic... the people who placed/forced those women into the Magdalene, were all adults, probably in their late 20s or older considering the nature of Irish society at the time. Young people would have had no say in the matter... and as they grew up they embraced a very different culture absent the domineering force of the Church and traditional hidebound values.

It's important to acknowledge our history, but not to embrace it, because Irish society has changed considerably over the last 40 years. It didn't change immediately but in spurts. I can remember when I was a young teen knowing just how dangerous it was for a man to be gay in my hometown.. and those who were openly gay received all manner of physical abuse. That's mostly changed now except for the odd bunch of idiots... and Irish society has always been more against homosexuality than just about anything else. The point being that our culture and society has changed. It's good to know our history, but it's equally important to recognise just how much it's changed... and it's changed enormously when it comes to women's rights and their position in society.

 Thankfully it is a small minority and I'm not trying to paint it as anything bigger but it is there and from my experience slut is often utilised when it does arise.

TBH I've used the word slut before, and I likely will again, should I have the same experience of having a partner who cheats and has sex with other people. That to me is a slut... although, I would use it equally for a man or a woman (I'm bisexual).

But a woman who has sex while she's single? More power to her if she's happy with that kind of lifestyle.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118315889#Comment_118315889

Tally Hoe!

Wombatman

It's a bad word. Jezebel, wench and harlot are better words.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118313844#Comment_118313844

This is probably evolutionary. Women's access to sex was historically for the purpose of producing fit, healthy babies. So they needed to be very strict about who they slept with. It needed to be the highest quality mate, biologically possible. It would have been very wrong for a woman to sleep with anyone and everyone. It would have dangerous and reckless. Men, by contrast, needed to spread their seed far and wide.

Another analogy would be that women are like locks, and men are like keys. If you have key that opens lots of locks, it's a really great key. But if you have a lock that opens for many keys, that's a terrible lock.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118317241#Comment_118317241

That doesn't really bear out when you look at history though, especially when you consider the place of women (in relation to sex) in cultures such as Rome, Egypt or a variety of other eras. If anything there was a far greater emphasis on women being sexual due to the pagan beliefs in fertility. It's only really in the Eastern regions (M.East/Central Asia) were you see that restrictive attitudes towards women.

I suspect it's mostly due to religion, and the western religions tended to focus heavily on restricting the influence of women in society, probably to counter the more important roles they played in pagan religions. The same can be seen in Judaism, and later Islam.

Ash.J.Williams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118313790#Comment_118313790

in fairness it takes more skill and effort for men, so that's different

griffin100

I love the way Fairytale of New York can still be played with the word 'slut' clearly in place but '****' is blanked out.

AckwelFoley

I don't mind being called slut. But I would prefer if they use the more gender specific Man whore when they address me