Ireland and suicide

Lollipop95

Does anyone else think this country has a serious issue with suicide? In the last 2 weeks, I’ve heard of 3 young men dying, all by suicide.

Some may be exacerbated by lockdown, but I feel like it’s always been an issue. But why? There’s awareness campaigns like DIL, but are they making a difference?

It’s well known that the mental health services in this country is shocking, but why does it seem so prominent in Ireland? I was talking to a friend recently who lives in England. They mentioned that in England they do have the whole “stiff upper lip” attitude (in some people), but for the most part, English people understand emotions. He said that is different to Irish people, who don’t really seem to and think it’s important to be happy at all times.

I’ve been to places like the US and over there there’s a lot more relaxed attitude to things like therapy. The word is thrown around over there like it’s nothing, whereas over here I’d know quite a few people who would get offended at the suggestion.

It’s all just so sad. And it’s not even all young men who are doing it, I’ve heard of some suicide in the past few years where the person is in their 70s.

What is the solution here?

katherineconlan

I remember reading somewhere that Ireland actually doesn't have a particularly high suicide rate (well it's high compared to many developing countries but lower than many other regions like Eastern Europe, Japan, South Korea) but due to a smaller degree of separation, people know many people that take their own life.

I know of only one person who took their life, my basketball coach in secondary school but it's seems that many people knew him, even though he wasn't a prolific figure. I've moved counties and met someone who played basketball with him. In places like the U.S. however, it's possible to meet people who you'll never meet again or who don't know anyone in your social circle compared to here.

Danzy

The Idea that Irish people think one has to be happy at all times is a new one to me.

People here were largely as stoic as it gets. Accepting that life is often **** but that is part of the game and doesn't mean a **** Life.

piplip87

I think the number is under reported to. All these young lads getting killed in single vehicle collisions, I'd imagine a fair bit of these could be suicide.

I know my own brother died in one 10 years ago and looking back before the accident he was displaying some of the signs like giving stuff away, changed the benefactor for his credit union savings and gave the mother a large sum of money to mind for him turns out there was enough to cover a funeral.

Personally of the top of my head I can think of 12 people o know who killed themselves. Most of them where happy people who it was a complete shock when it happened.

nj27

I'm an advocate of keeping your state of mind to yourself. People should work on improving their lifestyle rather than crying about "mental health". I know this is an unpopular point of view these days but I think it works for me and would probably work for a lot of people if they gave it an earnest go. I had some psychological issues a while ago and I made sure I went towards positive things like exercise, reading, and working hard then suddenly they weren't a big deal anymore. If you're a paranoid schizophrenic get down to the doctors office and get some heavy antipsychotics, or if you're making plans to kill yourself check into the hospital instead, but these vague and mild bouts of anxiety and depression people complain about are most likely the result of a dreadful lifestyle and crying about it is probably just counterproductive.

Mrs OBumble

Irish culture is fixated on death: there's nothing anyone loves more than a good aul funeral.

Also, the culture is poor at listening, so even when someone who is considering self-harm askes for help, they are unlikely to be heard.

dxhound2005

Lowest recorded suicide level in 20 years. There were 147 road deaths in 2020. Some may have been suicides, but it would need proof. Even if a large number was added to the suicide figure, it would still be a low number overall.

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/recorded-suicides-in-ireland-fall-to-lowest-level-in-two-decades-1.4664538

c.p.w.g.w

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202164#Comment_118202164

South Korea has the highest teenage suicide rate, the pressure those kids are under to get amazing test scores in that country is scary...

I think modern life is a contributing factor to mental health issues and illnesses...

Genuinely, when was the last time you saw the stars in the sky, or went a number of weeks were you did get woken by your alarm or had stresses about trivial (well things that ordinarily were deemed trivial)

Also looking at what your average person eats and drinks is likely having issues too...

In my last job, I had ballooned to over 100kg and was sleeping 5 hours a night, due to stress and messed up work schedule, all for poor wages*

*I don't spend much money mind, so even poor wages still goes a long way for me

Mad_maxx

The idea of killing oneself in a car seems odd ?

Certainly not a sure thing in terms of success

KaneToad

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202445#Comment_118202445

It's not a sure thing. But as a phenomenon, there is an abundance of academic research on it.

Still stihl waters 3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202445#Comment_118202445

If you'd a spot picked like the side of a motorway bridge or a big tree and hit it at 100 - 150 kph without the seat belt, it would probably be a fore gone conclusion

Sonics2k

Terrible support for those suffering from mental health problems, open dismissal, lack of focused support of men's mental health, total lack of funding and massive wait times just to get seen or start treatment.

Danzy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202366#Comment_118202366

But it is a culture, especially in rural Ireland with a very healthy acceptance of death. Death is accepted as just a part of life,the price of life.

I've family in England who have never seen a dead body, never mind a person die. That's a dangerous level of hiding from life and it is becoming more prevalent here as well.

Loafing Oaf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202164#Comment_118202164

Maybe there's an impression abroad that we have a high suicide rate because it was formerly so rare, or at least so rarely acknowledged and talked about. Whereas in other countries it would have long been fairly widespread and openly acknowledged for people in certain circumstances, say an old guy whose wife has just died, to check out themselves so that those countries would have a higher rate of suicide than us but it wouldn't be regarded as something shocking or even much remarked upon.

Ekerot

What I take from my own experiences with depression/mental health is that people here are quite reluctant to help others when they reach out. Even if it's a friend/family member.

My parents were like that, anytime I'd bring something bad up that happened to me, their response would be something like:

"Get away from me, I'm not an expert."

or

"That's water under the bridge now, forget about it."

I remember once thinking during a CBT session I had "Why am I here?" "If therapy wasn't an option who would be the obvious person I'd speak to?" (family/friends/parents)

Someone already mentioned the abyss of the HSE, but maybe the answer is also to teach others to be more compassionate?

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202445#Comment_118202445

Autocide is very much a thing.

Seems to be a lot of assumption in the thread that ireland is exceptional in ways that im not at all sure of across suicide rates, culture around it and indeed mental health supports available

Oscar Madison

It's a struggle for people who are not working and perhaps still living at home!

Fortunately enough I'm not there but I have been in part!

My advise is to up & leave either your town, city or country & emigrate!

Plenty of work currently in the UK.

You need to get out of the hole that you find yourself in and move quickly!

john9876

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202263#Comment_118202263

It's not just an unpopular opinion, it's also a load of bollix.

john9876

nj27

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202908#Comment_118202908

I'm so glad you chimed in with that astute point, although your follow up post was better.

TooTired123

My daughter is 24 and at this stage when she and her friends hear that yet another fella they know has “unalived” himself (their expression) they just shrug and shake their heads. She claims that, to date, every single one has had what she considers a serious issue with drink and/or narcotics or gambling. She considers it a serious issue if you are always needing physical assistance to function during a night out and your friends have to worry about you getting home and that you’ll do something stupid.

In my mind it is one of the most complex challenges in life. How do we prevent it? Well we can't. We can absolutely have a more robust health system and that may go some way to providing appropriate supports. Ideally the work begins from zero in the home and even then there are no guarantees of emotionally healthy and resilient individuals to emerge. We do our best with what we have and hope and hope that its enough but sometimes it isn't. Sometimes no matter what we do a person will take their own life.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202585#Comment_118202585

I hope things are brighter for you now Ekerot.

What I think happens with some people is they are unable to face the pain of others so they push you away. They may care but they don't have the capacity themselves to listen to you. That may be because it is uncomfortably close to their own hurts and they are unable to go there in themselves.

When it comes to our families the dismissal may be a denial of sorts. So 'get away from me I'm not an expert' really means 'I can't deal with you my child going through something hard so I'm going to pretend it doesn't matter and hopefully it will go away'.

Neither are appropriate responses to give a person who is struggling and may be as a result of no compassion. However I find that trying to understand the 'why' of such responses can help us deal with them.

Regarding therapy, you can have the most loving supportful people around you and still may need the input of a professional.

Compassion is a most underrated quality. I really believe in it. If we connect with ourselves in a compassionate manner then a lot of negative self talk loses its power. In saying that I think it's important that it doesn't get in the way of personal responsibility. I can say something rubbish and own it and apologise and also not give myself a hard time over it.

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202501#Comment_118202501

I had a friend who committed suicide years ago. He had alot of cousins from England who when they came to the funeral were , quite frankly, shocked that the body was in the house. Some of them were in bits at seeing a body in the living room.

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202445#Comment_118202445

It does seem a strange way of doing it , but antedotly? I have had people tell me that they think someone who died in an accident did it on purpose.

cj maxx

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118203002#Comment_118203002

It begins from well before zero.

At a minimum, from -9 months: if a woman drinks alcohol, uses recreational drugs, or even eats badly, while pregnant, she is setting the child up for a difficult life.

HBC08

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118202401#Comment_118202401

I lived in Korea for a few years and in that time I knew more people who killed themselves than all the rest of my life in ireland.

We don't have a particular high suicide rate in ireland.One thing we do have is a stigma attached to it.In other countries they report by a person died by suicide,here it's cryptic stuff life the Guards aren't looking for any suspects and such like, it's nonsense.

I also think the drinking/drugs/bender culture and associated mental health problems are the biggest driver of suicide here.In Korea for example it's the ridiculous pressure people are put under from a young age to have successful careers.

Lillyfae

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118209201#Comment_118209201

There you have it, folks, the high suicide rate is down to the curry chips Irish mothers enjoy while pregnant. Those b*tches.

Wanderer78

like most other countries, we have a serious problem with mental health issues, theres still a strong stigma with it, and we still dont want to appropriately fund our health systems in order to deal with it!