Partners Aunt asked me to mind her child.

Long story short I was asked last minute last night to mind my partners aunt child so she can go to work at 8am till 3pm and of course I said drop him over to my house tomorrow no problem but she wanted me to come to her as not to disturb the child so I said I’m doing you the favour bring him here to which she hung up and I tried to ring her back and told me **** off!

Was I wrong? I did offer her help and say bring him to my house I’m only 5 minutes down the road. I mind her child a lot and I’m always going to her house but this time I said I’ll put myself first and say meet me halfway. At least then if the child was here in my own home I can still catch 40 winks and stay relaxed in my own home.

Just goes to show that once your no use to people or they can’t use you, your shown the door. She’s dead to me now, only she could ruin free childcare.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058215254/partners-aunt-asked-me-to-mind-her-child

Looks like she dodged a bullet there.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084643#Comment_118084643

So I was wrong? The child is 11 years old

iamwhoiam

At what stage were you going to catch 40 winks while minding a child ?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084673#Comment_118084673

I'd say so. If your reasoning was you wanted to have a snooze while in charge of her child. I'd imagine all the gear a child needs would be in their house so it would be infinitely less hassle to keep the child entertained in their own house and considering you live only 5 mins away, it's not that much of an imposition for you.

I think that when you are in charge of someone else's child, sleeping shouldn't be first and foremost in your mind. Maybe im old fashioned like that.

riffmongous

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084673#Comment_118084673

11 years old? She was taking the piss asking you to come over OP

blackbox

I think your request was reasonable. The aunt was assuming you had nothing else to do and was placing no value on your time.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084682#Comment_118084682

What I meant by that is he can with his toys and gadgets here while I’m in the couch next to him aka relax in my own home not sitting into someone else’s house

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084685#Comment_118084685

I mind her child at least 2/3 times a week and for once I said I’m tired of going to your house to mind your child, why can’t she meet me halfway and bring her child here. Well good luck finding another fool or pay for childcare

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084702#Comment_118084702

Chilling on the couch is very different than 40winks. In that case, perhaps she was wrong, especially if he was on the switch for the most part.

SlitDrip

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084685#Comment_118084685

Would ya stop,

Dead right OP. She's taking the piss out of you.

Free childcare for the day FFS.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084702#Comment_118084702

That’s what my boyfriend said (who said the same thing as you) and my boyfriend is his aunt also

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084712#Comment_118084712

Stop what?

I was only going on the OP's original post where he said he wanted to mind the child in his so he could have a sleep.

I think my response was more than reasonable.

He clarified he didn't actually mean sleep and I changed my opinion accordingly.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084715#Comment_118084715

Boyfriend is his aunt?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084717#Comment_118084717

40 winks in my family means aka chill on the couch aka relaxing (not doesn’t mean sleep) sorry my post was worded wrong.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084725#Comment_118084725

Nah it's cool. Paints a very different picture.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084723#Comment_118084723

His he’s aunt (damn auto correct)

GreeBo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084733#Comment_118084733

I'd have no issue sleeping while an 11 year old was in the house, at that age you are there in case something serious and unexpected happens, not in case they fall down the stairs or wet themselves.

Boyfriend just told me if my aunt needs a babysitter for free then she does what you want and my boyfriend said I did nothing wrong. You can’t have your cake and eat it to

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084755#Comment_118084755

I dpnt think I wouldn't be comfortable with it. I suppose it all depends on the child and the house etc but if someone is trusting me with their child, I wouldn't think it would be appropriate to be asleep while they were there.

irelandrover

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084717#Comment_118084717

If the child was one it would be perfectly fine to sleep while the child was napping. Obviously it wouldn't be fine to nap while the child is awake. But the first post didn't say that either.

GBX

If you got told to F off that quick, see how quick she comes back if you are still expected to look after the child the few times during the week. Dont be taken for a mug. All well and good helping out but if somebody is not willing to meet halfway, let them sort their child minding themselves.

GreeBo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084771#Comment_118084771

So do you stay in the same room staring at them for the duration?

I dont see any difference being upstairs asleep vs upstairs reading a book, when an 11 year old is involved.

Probably best if you just let her find someone else to mind her kids, you don't need to feel bad about it. I was "acquired" to mind my sisters kids a few years back in a similar situation. While I love my nieces (9 and 13) it was a full time job and there was no downtime at all. The older girl was much more laid back and was happy to busy herself with her own interests, the younger needed constant supervision and attention and to be entertained. Obviously in their own home they have access to their TV and rooms but in this case I was expected to make and do, bake cakes and treats, prepare dinner whilst also ensuring their safety. Exhausting stuff.

It was only one or two days a week but on one occasion the younger decided to fall off a chair (on purpose because I asked her not to put the chair on two legs) and although not a tear was shed at the time, I told her mother just so she knew what had happened. Mother phoned me later to tell me she brought her to hospital and they said she had concussion. The chair was a childs one sat in front of a coffee table and the girl was 9 at the time. I refused to mind them in their own home again and told her she was free to drop them at my place if necessary.

So she began a process of asking me to text her kids to ask them if they wanted to come to my house. Needless to say that didn't last long and eventually she allowed the elder to start minding the younger at home by herself. The guilting was just incredible at the time though, I'll never forget it.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084790#Comment_118084790

Each to their own. I think being alert when minding a kid is very important. there are tonnes of variables I admit (the child themselves, how suitable the house is for a child, how heavy a sleeper you'd be, how soundproof the house is, the area etc) and I was probably wrong to assume the worst of the OP.

My initial response was to the original post and I missed the edit where they said the child was 11.

I assumed (wrongly it turns out) that the child was younger and the OP wanted to just be at their own house so they could sleep. The OP babysits the child very regularly so would know the suitability more than anyone so again, I was wrong to jump the gun.

Wheety

Forget about it. If she wants you to mind the child in future she can apologise for her overreaction.

Princess Calla

So she wanted you to get yourself up dressed out the door at 7:50 to mind her child, but didn't like the idea of dropping the child to you?

At least in your own house you can stay in your jammies and get dressed at leisure, do a few chores hoovering, laundry get your own dinner ready etc.

As an aunt I'd never ask my nephew's (20's/30's) girlfriends to mind my kids on a regular basis. I would see myself in a position of "power" in that it's my family so I don't need to make an impression. The girlfriend however may feel under pressure to oblige to stay on the "good" side of the family.

Having someone who can take your child at short notice is golddust. These relationships should be nurtured not tell the person to f off the first time something doesn't go your way.

Tbh I wouldn't mind the child again, let her find someone else to take her frustrations out on.

Big Bag of Chips

@[Deleted User] Personal Issues is an advice forum. Can you clarify what advice you are looking for?

Otherwise I'll move your thread to a more appropriate discussion forum.

Big Bag of Chips

@glenfieldman, I've deleted your post. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't realise you were posting in the Personal Issues Forum (despite the moderator note immediately preceding your post!)

osarusan

The whole thing seems to have escalated incredibly quickly, real overreaction on both sides.

Anyway, you are not wrong, as you were doing her the favour, but at the same time saying 'I'm doing you the favour' is never going to elicit a good response.

If she really is 'dead to you', then no more childcare duties at least.

ted1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084682#Comment_118084682

An 11 year old. I do it the whole time eith my kids. They can go downstairs pour themselves cereal. Let the dog out and watch tv fir and hour or two

iamwhoiam

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118087955#Comment_118087955

When I replied to the OP he / she had not said what age the child is . It was added in later

purpleshoe

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084707#Comment_118084707

Why are you even minding the child and so frequently at that?

You say in your opening post that the child is your partner's aunt's child. On the face of it, your partner's aunt has an expectation of you that I view is abnormal.

I can't understand why the aunt is constantly going to you? Have you a wider track record of child minding, or are you currently studying something in that area? Why you?

afkasurfjunkie

I’d say if you went to her house the child would have been in their pjs and maybe not even out of bed. So by asking her to drop child to yours, she would’ve had to get said child up, dressed and fed. That’s why she took the hump. I think you are absolutely correct in this situation.

She expects you to babysit her kid 2 or 3 days a week for free?

She's taking the piss OP. Don't be a doormat.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118089433#Comment_118089433

I won’t be anymore thanks to everyone for your thoughts and opinions.

Pistachio19

You've had a lucky escape - no more free childminding for her. If she does ask again just say you're not available - no excuses needed. She's clearly taken the piss and is in a huff now because you dared try to put your convenience ahead of hers. Good luck to her finding some other mug to drop all and mind her child.

Princess Calla

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118090672#Comment_118090672

Just be careful.... Rhetorical questions here, obviously I have no idea of your situation.

But what are the rest of the family like? I mean the aunt is showing severe leechy behaviour, no one asks extended family for free babysitting on such a regular basis, grandparents at a push!

If I did that I'd have my sister/brother/mother on to me saying pay the girl or find someone else. There's a severe sense of entitlement from the aunt ....does it run through the entire family?

Also from my experience these are the type that people that never repay babysitting favours they'll be heard stating "I'm done I reared my family" when the reality is they passed their kids around like pass the parcel.

Just something for yourself to ponder. Very easy to fall into a people pleaser trap.

Mr Burny

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058215254/partners-aunt-asked-me-to-mind-her-child

You seem an extremely lazy individual

Hannibal_Smith

Mod Note

Warning issued to Mr Burny for breach of forum charter.

HS

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118091002#Comment_118091002

How lol because for once I put myself first

Hannibal_Smith

Mod Note

As you no longer to appear to want advice tajd, we'll close it there.

Cheers folks.

HS