Not good enough

Anyone ever feel they are not good enough for their girlfriend, I just dont seem to be able to do anything right eve though I try my hardest.

SCOOP 64

Or is your girlfriend too much hard work?

Black Swan

It is really hard to make suggestions without more information. Given this. Perhaps trying your hardest is the problem?

DarkJager21

As the poster above said, don’t lay this kind of thing purely on yourself - some girls just have stupid ideas and standards and will constantly move and shift the goalposts.

Look at what actions you think you didn’t do “good enough”’ on and then take a step back and ask is the problem you or her.

qwerty13

Is it that she’s critical of things that you do? Or that she thinks that you should ‘do more’ for her? Are we talking monetary stuff here? Or is it that you forget things or turn up late for dates or something like that?

YellowLead

It sounds like you two are just incompatible? I don’t think people are ‘not good enough’ for others.

It depends what we are talking about here though - is it

a. You cheat on her, take her money, not make any effort to talk etc

b. She tells you you don’t earn enough money, not educated enough, don’t talk to her 24/7.

Sometimes people latch on to somebody and try and change them, then they get frustrated when that doesn’t work - could it be a bit of that on her part?

Xterminator

Hi OP

if you believe you are not good enough for her, it suggests you have confidence issues, nd you need to work on that if you are to be satisfied with your life.

if she tells you / makes you believe your are not good enough, then its likely she is a big part of the problem.

with no details its hard to advise, but everyone deserves to be happy. Some people self sabotage though.

Tork

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058208005/not-good-enough

Can you give us more details? Nobody can give you much advice based on two lines.

A lot of people simply hold themselves to higher standards than the people around them actually do. As such we can often think we are not good enough when everyone around us thinks we are just fine or even that we excel.

So communication is key in relationships if you are like that. Constantly check in with your partner and ask "how are we doing / how am I doing" and "what did I/we do really well since we last talked about this / what could I/we do better?"

If we naturally tend towards self critical internal feedback - it tends to help to replace that with external honest feedback from those we trust and care about and who trust and care about us.

PeonyPink

Hi OP,

I’m just going by the little information you’ve put up….

How is your communication with your GF?

Do you listen to her and take her concerns or views seriously? Are you both united when making decisions?

Do you put yourself in her shoes and how she may view your behaviour and actions?

Before people go jumping the gun and shouting that she’s too much hard work or incompatibility, I think it’s fair to ask why you feel like that in the first place? And what have you done that may make her upset or frustrated because often times, women can bottle things up. I’m guilty myself.

For example, my BF asked me something last week, I gave him my preference and he still tried to go against me and that led to me putting my foot down because he didn’t listen to my concerns or reasons for preference. Maybe he viewed it as nothing he did was good enough but if he had listened to my opinion and taken what I said seriously with respect, I wouldn’t of gotten the “hump”. But I love him and I’m crazy about him! We are working on our communication as we get to know eachother.

please talk to your girlfriend. I’m sure there’s more to it than that. A lot of the time, it’s not that what you’re doing isn’t “good enough” at all. Work on your communication but one thing I’d advise is when you feel like pulling away or ignoring her or taking space or being petty / tit for tat and not replying, DO NOT DO THAT! It makes everything for the GF and the BF ten times worse.

be brave, tell her how you feel , ask where she’s at and give her a chance to explain how she feels. Talking is key!!!