Meeting a soulmate/spouse/partner

dd973

What's it like? What actually happens? Is it like meeting a sibling you're allowed to f**k? Do they really finish your sentences? Is it really like some folie a deux as the French call it, both walking around on air unable to think of anything but the other person, with it reciprocated?

Haven't lived the life of a monk, but none of this ****'s ever happened to me.

Interesting that you went for the word "allowed" in relation to your siblings. That puts a slightly different slant on it than most people might go for in the same context :)

Never been sure where the "finishing sentences" things comes from as people do that all the time even without romance. Friends and relatives do it as much as any romantic partner in my experience. Never really struck me as being anything about soulmates or partners. You'd almost be on firmer ground saying "Finish each other's sandwiches" :)

Walking around unable to think of anything but them also strikes me as a little unhealthy. Does that level of intensity usually last or does it burn out? I think for me in my relationship it was more like I simply could not imagine walking my life path any more without certain people on that path with me. I could still think clearly and still had my goals and agendas in life.

But those goals and agendas in my mind now always included those other people and it was difficult to imagine certain milestones or events in my life without them there in the picture any more. When I picture myself old and grey and feeble - there are people I want to be in that picture with me. And that is what soulmates or partners or good friendships mean to me.

KilOit

Simply liking each other's company, can sit and chat and do things together and also enjoy the silence without feeling awkward.

Living separate lives but connected in a way. Soulmate is American bs, don't think too much into it.

What you describe as finishing each other sentences and being unable to stop thinking about them is very unhealthy imo.

Fandymo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058207617/meeting-a-soulmate-spouse-partner

Folie a deux ('folly of two', or 'madness [shared] by two') is a mental health condition characterised by a shared psychosis. Not a French soulmate. FFS.

dd973

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117854027#Comment_117854027

I already knew that, what, you thought it wasn't meant euphemistically?...

Potential-Monke

I don't think it exists, but people want it to exist so they get what they get and try and wrap it up as this. Most of those films and ads and tv shows that show that kind of "love" don't show the future where they're probably bating the heads off one another or riding someone else. It's the want/need for this idea that there is perfection out there, you just need to find it. They can't see that the entire idea is a fairytale boosted by industries that are making a killing from these people buying all the Valentines, birthday, anniversary, baby shower, all the other made up celebrations tat, which is usually made by children in some poorer country, but it's out of sight out of mind eh?!

Realistically grim enough?

Burt Renaults

"What I'm really looking for is someone who finishes my..."

"Sentences?"

"Yes, Oh My God!"

TB absolutely H with you, I'd rather remain single forever than wind up with someone who finishes my sentences, and about whom I can't stop thinking. Sounds a bit stifling.

nj27

There's a bunch of stuff in life I'd have come up with on my own if were somehow not what everyone else did, some kind of alternate universe. One thing that would never have occurred to me would be hanging out with one woman, specifically a woman too, all the time. That seems bang out of order to me. That doesn't seem like my cup of tea at all, and I'm straight up not into it. I'm divorced too, so that's a whole other kettle of fish but naw mane, why would you want to hang out with one woman, and specifically a woman, all the time? That's not on, and it's bang out of order. It stinks and I don't like it.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117861418#Comment_117861418

That's probably why she dumped you. 😁

As you get older, it gets to be about the small things. Companionship, shared chats and silences over a pint or a meal, not falling out over choices of decor or holiday destination, that kind of thing. Entirely unromantic, but that's how it is.

Earlier on, the hot romance and sex thing probably helps to form the bonds that will hold the relationship together as you get older. But it doesn't last, and one of the keys to a good relationship is finding ways of being both romantic and sexy when the starry-eyed phase has ended.

Oh, and complementarity. If you are attracted to someone who's a lot like you, chances are that you'll have a sequence of failed relationships. Difference is a good thing, especially when it comes to doing all the stuff we have to do to get through life. Not everyone is good at everything, so it helps in a relationship if the partners have different strengths and can cover the bases for each other.

Capt'n Midnight

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Donald Trump

OP which of your siblings do you want to ride?

You could always just move to Offaly if you are so inclined