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30s: Lonely and no friends here

  • 08-08-2021 6:12pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 32 waterfordwendy


    Google search: Irish Examiner Making Friends


    The article above really hit home. Now that all my friends are settling down, getting married etc. I find myself feeling very isolated, especially since I moved to Galway. I am mid 30s. It's hard walking through town and seeing groups out having fun, that was me only a few short years ago.

    Can anyone suggest any clubs or activities where I could make friends in my age range? The Meetup app is limited and seems to be mostly people in their 40s (not being ageist I just feel less in common).

    It would be lovely to go out for a few drinks at weekends or even a cycle.

    Any suggestions? I am entering crisis mode here...

    Post edited by biko on


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 732 ✭✭✭ VanWildcard


    What's your interests/hobbies or things you'd like to try? There are a lot of different clubs and groups around (although many were less active for the past 18mths), depends what you're into.



  • Registered Users Posts: 654 ✭✭✭ -Vega-


    61 views, hope some of these people inboxed you. Could link a ton of stuff you have probably thought already but going to send you my number incase you want a coffee and a gossip. A few weeks can seem like a lifetime because lonely hits a little different, but it's totally just **** and temporary cicrumstance. Will inbox you, not a murderer, strong negative opinions about seagulls however.



  • Registered Users Posts: 413 ✭✭ The DayDream


    If you're in Galway man you don't know how lucky you are. I'm in the exact same boat age wise, single man and I'm in feckin Donegal. I'm not really someone who gets lonely and enjoy my own company just fine plus I have a dog.

    Actually there's my advice: get a dog. MADRA rescue is close to Galway. Or you could volunteer there, good way to meet people, too.



  • Registered Users Posts: 32 waterfordwendy


    Thanks for the replies. If you could recommend any places, groups etc. that would be amazing. I love music, playing instruments, getting out for hikes or cycling and a few drinks at the weekends. But as I mentioned, Meetup seems to just have older people



  • Registered Users Posts: 537 ✭✭✭ LilacNails


    Ur not alone with that feeling, in the same boat as u but in a different county. It's really hard and feel completely unnoticed and unseen by others.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 732 ✭✭✭ VanWildcard


    There's a Galway Bay Brewery running club that's social (keep a pace where you can hold a conversation). Used to be a free pint or half pint afterwards when times allowed, not sure if they're doing that again yet. Find them on Facebook.



  • Registered Users Posts: 23,895 ✭✭✭✭ Mrs OBumble


    What genre of music?

    TBH, Covid has slowed changes for meeting people, but hopefully we'll be back to normal-ish soon.

    With Meetup, you could try organising your own event targeted at 30-somethings. They ARE out there, honest.



  • Registered Users Posts: 165 ✭✭ ThreeGreens


    Join a hillwalking club. Lots of people across all age groups. And because of the nature of the activity it's easy to talk to anyone in the group. It's easy to talk about the activity, scenery, difficult of the hike. It's easy to talk to anyone. A people are in groups, it's less one on one, so people don't feel as pressurised into talking.



  • Registered Users Posts: 10,344 ✭✭✭✭ ben.schlomo


    I'm 100% certain there was an almost identical thread a cupla months ago here. Searched back but I can't find it. Hopefully someone else can link it for the OP.



  • Registered Users Posts: 7,830 ✭✭✭ _Whimsical_


    OP I'd say don't be put off by perceived age range, lots of people in their 40s work with/are friends with/live with people in their 30s. Make one friend of any age and you never know where it'll lead you to, if you get invited out for drinks or to a bbq etc by one person you'll end up meeting other new people naturally.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 988 ✭✭✭ Daisy78


    I am going to assume that you are female going by your username? Maybe Girl Crew is worth looking into. Haven’t tried it myself in Galway but have heard good things about it and seems to cater for all ages. What about sports/hobbies? I’m not that into sport myself but I know some of my own friends have met people through tennis and things like sea swimming groups, could be worth a look? Galway has so much going on but you have to seek it out and make the effort to get involved. Also maybe some of your coupled up friends have other single friends that you could get to know and arrange nights out with/lunch/coffee dates with? They might be delighted to get the invite!

    Edit: Didn’t see your post above. If trad music is your thing there are regular music sessions organised in The Crane, they seem to have an interesting mix of people attending from what I have seen.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,571 ✭✭✭ Red_Wake


    Look up Galway salsa on fb.


    Fairly good group of 30 somethings who get together to dance, if that's your thing.



  • Registered Users Posts: 10,821 ✭✭✭✭ denartha


    I live in Loughrea. Im in the same boat. Moved here about 5 days ago. I didn't PM you OP, but feel free to PM me. There is a really nice lake near where I live, we could go for a picnic at the weekend. Nothing romantic involved, just spend time somewhere nice. PM me if you are interested.



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,043 ✭✭✭ misstearheus


    Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think GirlCrew has actually dis-banded! Was a bit shocked when I saw Reports that it had... I think they were making money through advanced Subscriptions of the Service they were providing, but apparently it wasn't near enough money to keep things going. Was shocked to read it, considering they had been taking money from people. But also, Girlcrew hasn't even been around for all that long either really like.



  • Registered Users Posts: 4,583 ✭✭✭ Xterminator


    i moved to an estate and in 4 years and hardly spoke to a neighbor. Got a dog and now every other time i take her for a walk i get chatting to someone. someone who loves dogs and is passing, or another dog walker etc. Not only is the dog a companion, but she is a fantastic ice breaker.

    So + 1 to the person who recommended a dog.



  • Registered Users Posts: 105 ✭✭ primrose_lily


    Anyone else in there 30s and realise that most if not all their friends have moved away or just simply moved on with their own lives?

    I feel like those that are left only want to socialise around the idea that every get together has to be a drinking session and I just dont have the interest in that anymore.

    I really miss getting together with friends, going for walks, listening to music, dancing, goofing around and having interesting conversations that dont end up with someone having the 'horrors' the next day and retreating further from you. Maybe thats just my experience with the drinking scene.

    There has to be some other group out there like Girl Crew where people can meet up, be themselves and have a bit of craic with each other.

    Social isolation is tough and I know that more people out there are feeling this too especially with Covid restrictions, working from home, being unemployed etc.


    if anyone does hear of anything please let me know.

    Im tired of my weekly trip to Lidl being the most social part of my week ...jeez!... nearly forgot about my trips to Dunnes... I get a real buzz going through the self service checkouts haha



  • Registered Users Posts: 7,743 ✭✭✭ dinneenp


    Reach out to https://galwaywalkingclub.ie/

    There's also a few cycling clubs, they'd cater for all levels. Do a Google search for your nearest.

    I'd say give the Meetup a shot even if most are older, you've nothing to lose. I know many people in the 40's (I'm 46) who still love music, the great outdoors etc.

    Best of luck.



  • Registered Users Posts: 4,356 ✭✭✭ inisboffin


    A lot of the sporty clubs are 'sport light' as in people join them for the craic as much as the sport. Same for the swimmers (and runners too I am sure) etc, some people go for the athletic part but others (like with the swimmers) are dippers etc and enjoy a quick dip and a coffee. There's a FB page for Blackrock Diving Tower Community, if you say you are new to town and chat on there? The Crane is lovely for music but I noticed also people playing chess etc outside (although with the weather... ;) ). I would echo wha't being said about being open to friends of all ages. I have friends 15+ years either side of me and it makes life more interesting! There's also rowing, sailing, mudlarking (looking for treasure in mud!), kayaking etc. The Secret Garden often has chatty and friendly events too.



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,596 ✭✭✭ Rigor Mortis


    It might be a bit old school, but keep an eye on the local newspapers. A lot of local groups advertise their meet ups through pr in the papers. Also check facebook groups for Galway.

    Good luck



  • Registered Users Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭ Tell me how


    Posted a comment on another thread recently which was very similar in topic.

    What I said then I think is valid here, try to do things that you enjoy doing rather than just doing them to meet people. Then, when doing them, be willing to engage with others and to take the opportunities to share numbers or arrange to meet should they present themselves. Don't be afraid of going to something initially on your own whether it is to a gig or show or whatever. Once you get in and get a seat, everyone else is really only engaging with the people either side of them anyway and quite often people are looking to chat to someone new.

    As others have said, sports clubs are often social clubs with a sporting motif (I saw tag rugby described as Kiss Chase for 30 year olds I think it was in a Ross O'Carroll Kelly book and I still laugh at that description). Cycling clubs in particular are very welcoming for people of different levels and it obviously has fitness benefits also. But there isn't a sports club in the country that would turn down a new member or participant. Same in terms of arts type groups such as drama groups or dance classes or whatever.

    Agree with the impact a dog can have in getting you out and about and meeting people but would suggest to make sure you are committed to owning them as they do need to be cared for appropriate to their breed.

    Further education can also be an opportunity to meet new people, plus pick up a new skill or qualification, if this interests you, you're considering this at a good time as autumn semesters for such courses are probably about to start.

    In fact, talking of timely threads, the Galway International Arts Festival is literally on right now. As I said, going to events such as these on your own might seem daunting, but can be a very enjoyable experience plus an opportunity to meet people with similar interests.


    Fair play for starting the thread. Think it helps a lot of people to see others struggle in particular ways and some of the posts here may help them, if not you directly or immediately. Good luck.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 23,895 ✭✭✭✭ Mrs OBumble


    Seems to me that the Covid / post-Covid period has been especially difficult with this: people have withdrawn into their own families + friend-groups, and even now aren't too interested in interaction with anyone new.

    One caution about joining things: make sure they're something you like doing, and ongoing, where the club/whatever has an interest in it's continuing existence, so there's an incentive to develop friendships between people. Classes and the like fill in time, but generally participants don't make friendships.

    Volunteering to do stuff can help: organise events, join the committee, etc. Just be careful that you don't get sucked in to doing all the work while everyone else gets to go out and have fun.



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