Are pubs/nightclubs the only way to pull?

alexdlinz

I'm in my mid-20s and have a non-existent social circle which makes meeting women through other friends impossible. Dating apps also don't work unless you're in the 7/10+ category.

I haven't been to a pub/nightclub before but I hear that it's easy to get laid when people are wasted. How true is that?

Grey Fox

alexdlinz wrote: »

I'm in my mid-20s and have a non-existent social circle which makes meeting women through other friends impossible. Dating apps also don't work unless you're in the 7/10+ category.

I haven't been to a pub/nightclub before but I hear that it's easy to get laid when people are wasted. How true is that?

I suppose its largely true, but maybe not the best strategy for everyone. If I was you I'd at least try the dating apps route to see whats out there rather than going into an environment you have no experience of and trying to bag a drunky (recipe for disaster imo).

I'd disagree with you on the dating apps, they can work for you if you're clever about it.

Housefree

alexdlinz wrote: »

I'm in my mid-20s and have a non-existent social circle which makes meeting women through other friends impossible. Dating apps also don't work unless you're in the 7/10+ category.

I haven't been to a pub/nightclub before but I hear that it's easy to get laid when people are wasted. How true is that?

Yeah its gonna be easier in the clubs but there is a big difference between out getting wasted and ending up with someone vs out sober looking for someone wasted

Ronaldinho

alexdlinz wrote: »

I'm in my mid-20s and have a non-existent social circle

This is a big turn off for the girls you're hoping to pull, so one way or another, you need to look at improving this aspect of your life.

No. I've taken part in activities such as amateur theatre, playing music, hiking, climbing, board games, etc and I've dated tonnes of girls through those channels.

X6.430macman

Were you very sheltered as a child/teen?? Seems strange that you have never been into a nightclub

alexdlinz

X6.430macman wrote: »

Were you very sheltered as a child/teen?? Seems strange that you have never been into a nightclub

Yes. My parents were from the U.S. and though not religious, quite strict and forbade me from ever even going out with my classmates in school if there was alcohol being served.

eviltwin

When you say pull what are you looking for ? A girlfriend or a casual hook up. Nightclubs aren’t the best place for either.

alexdlinz

alexdlinz wrote: »

I'm in my mid-20s and have a non-existent social circle which makes meeting women through other friends impossible. Dating apps also don't work unless you're in the 7/10+ category.

I haven't been to a pub/nightclub before but I hear that it's easy to get laid when people are wasted. How true is that?

People who are wasted, can't give consent.

Tread carefully.

LMHC

Ah jaysis. Is this real if it is. Try meet a friend or 2 and go out for a drink with them. Do not go out alone cruising for women in bars. Youll end up in bother.

alexdlinz

Deleted User wrote: »

People who are wasted, can't give consent.

Tread carefully.

Is it still considered unconsensual if the woman gropes you, kisses you, and then asks for you to get intimate with her?

I think that's quite different from a man approaching a woman who's had so much that she can't stand up vs one who is making moves on her.

alexdlinz

LMHC wrote: »

Ah jaysis. Is this real if it is. Try meet a friend or 2 and go out for a drink with them. Do not go out alone cruising for women in bars. Youll end up in bother.

Lol, what is bother?

endacl

2/10 for effort.

There's no women to be found under bridges.

Grey Fox

endacl wrote: »

2/10 for effort.

There's no women to be found under bridges.

What about jeff bridges?

alexdlinz

alexdlinz wrote: »

Is it still considered unconsensual if the woman gropes you, kisses you, and then asks for you to get intimate with her?

I think that's quite different from a man approaching a woman who's had so much that she can't stand up vs one who is making moves on her.

That hasn't happened. If it had, you would have done it already.

Inform yourself, before you do land yourself in trouble.

Ask Consent Campaign


Sex without consent, is rape.

Seve OB

OP just go to Coppers and life will make sense

Are you still living at home OP?

alexdlinz

Deleted User wrote: »

Are you still living at home OP?

Yep

FileNotFound

More people meet away from pubs and clubs now.
Thats said should we ever get coppers back, its the best hope for the no hoper...
Mind you it is not very woke friendly so it will be interesting to see hows its viewed after this break..


Either way get ready for some epic rejection and you'll be grand. Just need to find something that works for you on the chat up front. Just entering a nightclub won't means the ladies will be lining up for you.

Grey Fox

alexdlinz wrote: »

Yep

Well pubs/clubs are out for another few months at least. Why don't you try a dating app for a week and let us know your findings?

FileNotFound

Grey Fox wrote: »

Well pubs/clubs are out for another few months at least. Why don't you try a dating app for a week and let us know your findings?

Be better to be able to meet someone in the pub - no harm a bit of chatting online.


Missed the whole dating app scene but can imagine it would be perfect for all my awful 1 liners.... :D:D:D - or maybe it would be my fall, who knows.

JackTC

alexdlinz wrote: »

I'm in my mid-20s and have a non-existent social circle which makes meeting women through other friends impossible. Dating apps also don't work unless you're in the 7/10+ category.

I haven't been to a pub/nightclub before but I hear that it's easy to get laid when people are wasted. How true is that?

And Mr. Feg returns yet again.

What's that, 4 accounts this month alone? You must really miss Boards.

Pawwed Rig

There is a runner around the place somewhere that is waiting on someone to make a move on her

Notmything

Is that you Mr fegelein?

X6.430macman

Ok don't put a death warrant on me but what is coppers??

Hoboo

X6.430macman wrote: »

Ok don't put a death warrant on me but what is coppers??

It's a place for culchies to meet like minded culchies. Brown belts and shoes with shirts tucked in. Horrendous ****e hole avoided by anyone with class or sense. RTE staff seem to love the place, which makes sense.

Ger Roe

X6.430macman wrote: »

Ok don't put a death warrant on me but what is coppers??

There really is no hope when people asking questions on the internet don't even google first.

The first listing I found putting 'coppers' into google was :

http://copperfacejacks.ie/

That's what it is.

alexdlinz

Ger Roe wrote: »

There really is no hope when people asking questions on the internet don't even google first.

The first listing I found putting 'coppers' into google was :

http://copperfacejacks.ie/

That's what it is.

I've heard Coppers is quite **** compared to other pubs/nightclubs. What about Diceys?

FileNotFound

alexdlinz wrote: »

I've heard Coppers is quite **** compared to other pubs/nightclubs. What about Diceys?

Coppers is not comparible to other nightclubs and pubs, thats the first mistake.

It is usually overcrowded, over priced and the music is pants (Backstreet boys still a house favorite) but its the place people go when they are sh1tfaced and having fun.
Also many go with the mindset of getting off with someone, rather than just lads annoying girls in a bar - which is what it works well for. Woke gets lost on the stairs down..

You'll always find a few poor souls that hate it because their mates told them they should. There is nothing for these peeps, maybe they really just dislike the country folk.

But most people enjoy the craic in there, the laid back approach and the idiocy of the whole place to boot. It's and end of the night dive, usually entered just before balance is lost.


As for other places, most of the spots in dublin are both great and sh1te in their own overpriced way. It's more about the people you go out with rather than the place.

Seve OB

I honestly thought everyone over the age of 18 in this country had at the very least heard of coppers.

It’s the most famous pub/nite club in the country, and has been since it opened in the 90’s

Presumably this is mr_fegelien's new alter ego?

Tilden Katz

I'm not going to pretend that dating apps are perfect and I have no personal experience of them as I got into my relationship in 2011, just before they started to take off. But they have given another option to people who don't just want to rely on pubs and clubs to meet somebody. In my friendship circle, a good chunk of my friends met their spouses/partners on Tinder.

Now, I hear there is plenty of crap to contend with on dating apps but that's also true of the pub/club meat market. It's another option and that's good. What is fascinating for me is to see how the attitude towards online dating has changed. When I was single up to 2011, it still had a bit of stigma but that really has completely gone away now. Nobody is ashamed to say they met online anymore. It's great.

jmlad2020

Approach women in Pennies.the horniest women are usually found in Bra section.

Goodluck

Fils

jmlad2020 wrote: »

Approach women in Pennies.the horniest women are usually found in Bra section.

Goodluck

A uncle of mine pulled a woman in Dunnes years ago for a wedding date. Same man didn’t drink so didn’t socialise.

Grigotbianco

eviltwin wrote: »

When you say pull what are you looking for ? A girlfriend or a casual hook up. Nightclubs aren’t the best place for either.

Where is the best place to look for a casual hook up in your opinion?1

Tzardine

Grigotbianco wrote: »

Where is the best place to look for a casual hook up in your opinion?1

Outside an abortion clinic.







(For the avoidance of doubt - it's a joke)

machiavellianme

And not a very good one just like the OP

mad m

Bring back the slow sets.....

Do you want to dance ? “No”
Do you want to dance ? “No”
Do you want to dance ? “No”
Do you want to dance ? “No”

Do you want to dance ? “Yes”...

Score!

completedit

Nope. Unless you're a 6 foot MINIMUM low inhibition extrovert pulling in a nightclub will NOT happen. Trust me. I've been clubbing for maybe 10 years and kissed like 2 people in that time. Perhaps a greater probability than pulling in Centra or a coffee shop but given my track record not significantly.

jmlad2020

jmlad2020 wrote: »

Approach women in Pennies.the horniest women are usually found in Bra section.

Goodluck

Is this a joke!?

Pawwed Rig

emulsifier wrote: »

Is this a joke!?

Obvious joke is obvious

completedit

completedit wrote: »

Nope. Unless you're a 6 foot MINIMUM low inhibition extrovert pulling in a nightclub will NOT happen. Trust me. I've been clubbing for maybe 10 years and kissed like 2 people in that time.

Maybe do not assume your height is the reason? I am afraid the majority of my own anecdotes about friends and acquaintances from my college years and beyond are all the opposite of yours. People of all shapes and sizes "pulling" fairly consistently. And people of all shapes and sizes walking down the aisle.

What I have seen however - are guys who fail to understand their lack of success with women and choose to blame it on some arbitrary characteristic about themselves. Usually the chosen characteristic is one that they can not change (as opposed to something they could work on). So things like "height" are quite common for these disenfranchised lads to latch onto.

When I spend time actually out with such guys I often see something they themselves have missed which actually does explain their lack of success with attracting others. They were just blind to it themselves. Sometimes we just need a trusted and caring friend to be open - honest - critical - but supportive to show things we ourselves miss about ourselves.

One guy in particular was a mystery to us. He was a great friend and we all loved him and we could not figure out why he was eternally single. Like you he had his own theories on the matter. But like yours his theories were A) Unlikely and ran contrary to all the anecdotes of other people with the same attributes who were not sharing his lack of success.

So I took him speed dating. And I _very_ quickly saw the problem(s) in his interaction styles with women. He was entirely blind to the issues here. He got zero interested people from the speed dating. And it was quite clear why. And it had nothing to do with the things he himself was thinking hinged his lack of successes.

So - feeling rather uncomfortable about it given how much I hate PUA stuff and the nonsense those people sell - I coached him as ethically as I could on a few things and rather shocked him by highlighting some issues he had. I even did this by replicating some shock tactics I had seen on a TV show.

I took him speed dating again. This second time he got well more people expressing an interest than not. Going from zero to a majority is not a bad change. He has since been in a relationship with a lovely girl - and I genuinely think they deserve each other. I couldn't be happier for them.

Join some clubs. Meet people with similar interests.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Join some clubs. Meet people with similar interests.

Or create your own!

The relationship I am in now came entirely from me starting up "pre gig meetup" groups for before shows I liked.

So I would go onto websites for people like The Frames or Damien Rice etc and organise a venue to meet for pints before their show started.

There was a surprising demand for it. Like everyone wanted it to happen but no one wanted to be the one to put the effort into organising it.

Was fun too. We had quirks like if any of the regular gig goers could not make it we would bring life size card board cut outs of them to the meeting. Which we would then try to get up on the stage later during the show.

But its a great ice breaker to meet new people. You meet people you have never met before - but you already have an instant shared interest so you know where to start conversation.

Dtp1979

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Maybe do not assume your height is the reason? I am afraid the majority of my own anecdotes about friends and acquaintances from my college years and beyond are all the opposite of yours. People of all shapes and sizes "pulling" fairly consistently. And people of all shapes and sizes walking down the aisle.

What I have seen however - are guys who fail to understand their lack of success with women and choose to blame it on some arbitrary characteristic about themselves. Usually the chosen characteristic is one that they can not change (as opposed to something they could work on). So things like "height" are quite common for these disenfranchised lads to latch onto.

When I spend time actually out with such guys I often see something they themselves have missed which actually does explain their lack of success with attracting others. They were just blind to it themselves. Sometimes we just need a trusted and caring friend to be open - honest - critical - but supportive to show things we ourselves miss about ourselves.

One guy in particular was a mystery to us. He was a great friend and we all loved him and we could not figure out why he was eternally single. Like you he had his own theories on the matter. But like yours his theories were A) Unlikely and ran contrary to all the anecdotes of other people with the same attributes who were not sharing his lack of success.

So I took him speed dating. And I _very_ quickly saw the problem(s) in his interaction styles with women. He was entirely blind to the issues here. He got zero interested people from the speed dating. And it was quite clear why. And it had nothing to do with the things he himself was thinking hinged his lack of successes.

So - feeling rather uncomfortable about it given how much I hate PUA stuff and the nonsense those people sell - I coached him as ethically as I could on a few things and rather shocked him by highlighting some issues he had. I even did this by replicating some shock tactics I had seen on a TV show.

I took him speed dating again. This second time he got well more people expressing an interest than not. Going from zero to a majority is not a bad change. He has since been in a relationship with a lovely girl - and I genuinely think they deserve each other. I couldn't be happier for them.

Jesus Christ, this reads like one of those clickbait articles where you scroll through 40 pages of drivel to see what it was all about only to discover there was nothing! Do we need to suscribe to find out this magic you worked on him? €4.99 a month?

Dtp1979

Dtp1979 wrote: »

Jesus Christ, this reads like one of those clickbait articles where you scroll through 40 pages of drivel to see what it was all about only to discover there was nothing! Do we need to suscribe to find out this magic you worked on him? €4.99 a month?

Hah I agree with you to a point. That is why I said I felt very uncomfortable doing it at all. With all the PUA people trying to make their easy money - it is very uncomfortable ground to do any kind of relationship "coaching".

I never want to stray into _That_ kind of territory. Ever. They are manipulative scum at the best of times - and they try to shill on this forum occasionally too.

So I tried to avoid any coaching where I was getting him to try to manipulate his "mark". Rather I just concentrated on him himself. So I tried to avoid the usual PUA tropes in other words. It was an intensely uncomfortable time but I care about the guy a lot so I went on with it. Felt ikky and stuff but it was for the best.

What did I do with him? Well going through it all would result in 40 pages of drivel for sure. There was a lot. But the two main things I focused on was his manifesting his self doubt physically - and the level of attention he spent to the person he was hitting on.

The first was a bit like the user I replied to above. He was so sure he had lost even before he had begun - because he had convinced himself not being the right height or shape or whatever means he had no hope anyway - that he had this closed off attitude the moment he was interested in someone. Head down - eyes moving all over the place - sitting back or facing the side - arms folded. He basically changed from the guy we related well to - to the equivalent of a shy 7 year old kid. So I focused a lot on that.

The second thing he had an issue with was actually noticing much about the person he was talking with due to being that closed off. Their conversation and just about anything about them went in one ear and out the other. He was not aware of this and I was not sure how to tell him in a non upsetting or offensive way that would sink in. So I stole an idea from a TV show I liked a lot at the time. I organised a blind date for him which he went on. Half way through the date I had it arranged that the gal in question would go to the toilet and a different girl would come back. He _actually did not notice_. That's how bad he was. The reveal of this to him after the fact was a revelation and profoundly changed / affected him. And on the second speed dating session we went to he was _much_ more engaged with the people he was talking with.

Probably a little cruel. But him and his new love thank me for it today still which alleviates some of the guilt. I still feel a little ikky about the whole thing though. Relationship and pick up culture is so ikky and toxic that even straying ethically into it felt wrong.

ancapailldorcha

Deleted User wrote: »

Join some clubs. Meet people with similar interests.

Hypothetically, does the gym count?

completedit

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Hypothetically, does the gym count?

If you're handsome and mog the competition and you find a girl there then yeah, anyone can do it.

It's actually the hardest place ecause it comes down to raw looks

ancapailldorcha

completedit wrote: »

If you're handsome and mog the competition and you find a girl there then yeah, anyone can do it.

It's actually the hardest place ecause it comes down to raw looks

I'm conflicted. Been going to this place for about a year or so in between lockdowns before work. Most of the people are men but there are a few attractive women who've started going. One of them is extremely attractive but she has a habit of just sitting on her phone at one of the machines in the sort of time it takes me to to somewhere between a third to a half of my workout.

completedit

completedit wrote: »

It's actually the hardest place ecause it comes down to raw looks

Hah I was brought to a gym a couple of times. I was not into it so I never went back. I prefer exercise out in the real world.

But one of the two times I was basically invited to come find a hotel room by one of the girls there. Which despite me turning it down - she was quite hot to me but I was well spoken for - unfortunately led to something of an altercation with one of the regular guys in the gym as if it had been my doing / fault and it was his job to sort me out.

Anyway one thing I am _not_ is super good looking or handsome. At all. I am more what you would imagine a relatively fit but middled aged version of the Milky Bar Kid would look like today after a life time of work around computers and programming

Raw looks I did not have. I did put on a capoeira demonstration for a couple of the gyms trainers on some mats in the corner though and got some attention for that. So I think it was more just how I stood out - rather than anything to do with looks - that ignited her interest. But not everything is looks in this world. Like me post about "height" above - I think looks generally are another thing people latch on to as a go to explanation for something they could not otherwise explain.

sprucemoose

Deleted User wrote: »

Hah I was brought to a gym a couple of times. I was not into it so I never went back. I prefer exercise out in the real world.

But one of the two times I was basically invited to come find a hotel room by one of the girls there. Which despite me turning it down - she was quite hot to me but I was well spoken for - unfortunately led to something of an altercation with one of the regular guys in the gym as if it had been my doing / fault and it was his job to sort me out.

i think i saw that one on pornhub back before they did the big purge



..........absolute horsehit of the highest order