Can big age gap relationships work?

HighF123

Can relationships where one person is significantly older than the other person last? I was casually seeing a woman who was 17 years older than me. She was great in bed and I really enjoyed her company but I just couldn't ignore the age gap. I knew that if I'd gotten in to a proper relationship with her, that there'd be a good chance of me straying on her as she got older. And vica versa too, I don't see how women who become involved with men 20 years their senior, how the men expect these relationships to last. Does anyone else have an opinion on this, do you think relationships where one person is a lot older than the other can work?

everlast75

Wake up, Maggie, I think I got somethin' to say to you
It's late September and I really should be back at school
I know I keep you amused, but I feel I'm being used
Oh, Maggie, I couldn't have tried any more
You led me away from home
Just to save you from being alone
You stole my heart and that's what really hurts
The mornin' sun when it's in your face really shows your age
But that don't worry me none, in my eyes, you're everything
I laughed at all of your jokes, my love, you didn't need to coax
Oh, Maggie, I couldn't have tried any more
You led me away from home
Just to save you from being alone
You stole my soul, and that's a pain I can do without
All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand
But you turned into a lover, and mother, what a lover, you wore me out
All you did was wreck my bed, and in the morning, kick me in the head
Oh, Maggie, I couldn't have tried any more
You led me away from home
'Cause you didn't wanna be alone
You stole my heart, I couldn't leave you if I tried
I suppose I could collect my books and get on back to school
Or steal my daddy's cue and make a living out of playin' pool
Or find myself a rock and roll band that needs a helpin' hand
Oh, Maggie, I wished I'd never seen your face
You made a first-class fool out of me
But I'm as blind as a fool can be
You stole my heart, but I love you anyway
Maggie, I wished I'd never seen your face
I'll get on back home one of these days
Ooh, ooh, ooh

Always thought that J Howard Marshall & Anna Nicole Smith made a love couple

Das Reich

If man is older and the woman is younger it works better than when the woman is older than the man.

RulesOfNature

Depends how rich the older party is.

Tell me how

HighF123 wrote: »

Can relationships where one person is significantly older than the other person last? I was casually seeing a woman who was 17 years older than me. She was great in bed and I really enjoyed her company but I just couldn't ignore the age gap. I knew that if I'd gotten in to a proper relationship with her, that there'd be a good chance of me straying on her as she got older. And vica versa too, I don't see how women who become involved with men 20 years their senior, how the men expect these relationships to last. Does anyone else have an opinion on this, do you think relationships where one person is a lot older than the other can work?

Most relationships end. That's a fact.
Even taking marriages in to account, many countries have divorce rates over 50% and if the implications for availing of divorce weren't as significant (cost/time/custody) then I expect many countries would see their rate increase.

But does this mean that those relationships didn't work? If you were guaranteed up front 5 years of happiness and then 6 months of struggle and 6 months of heartbreak after it ended, would you take up that offer?

Relationships don't break down because of age differences, they break down because of (as well as other reasons) differences in wants, needs etc whether it be family, lifestyle, shared interests etc.
And of course with an age difference, these are probably more likely to exist but I don't think you could guarantee that this will be the case.

I've a friend 15 years younger than her husband and they seem very happy but does that mean they are guaranteed to stay together forever? Of course not, but that isn't the case for people who are the same age either.

EmmetSpiceland

For me, anything over ten years can get a bit ropey and can be harder to “relate”.

You can end up appearing quite “cheugy” if you’re not up on what the youth are up to.

Surreptitious

Depends on the people. Everyone is different

UI_Paddy

My uncle is 27 years older than his wife. They've been together over 20 years, and have three children. I'm proud to say it has all worked out for them.

Tilden Katz

Sure. Depends on the couple. Possibly depends on the age of the younger partner at getting together - I think very young at that point and it has less of a chance of succeeding long-term. But yeah, they can work.

McGinniesta

Its possible I suppose and stranger things have happened.

I'm glad my French teacher never knew what I wanted to do to her . That may have resulted in a prison sentence and prolonged therapy.

JoChervil

Of course it can work.

And nothing is guaranteed in life. The best is just to live in a present and enjoy as long as it lasts. Why worry about things, which might never happen?

Dr. Bre

HighF123 wrote: »

Can relationships where one person is significantly older than the other person last? I was casually seeing a woman who was 17 years older than me. She was great in bed and I really enjoyed her company but I just couldn't ignore the age gap. I knew that if I'd gotten in to a proper relationship with her, that there'd be a good chance of me straying on her as she got older. And vica versa too, I don't see how women who become involved with men 20 years their senior, how the men expect these relationships to last. Does anyone else have an opinion on this, do you think relationships where one person is a lot older than the other can work?

Any excuse for you to say you riding a MILF

RacoonQueen

HighF123 wrote: »

Can relationships where one person is significantly older than the other person last? I was casually seeing a woman who was 17 years older than me. She was great in bed and I really enjoyed her company but I just couldn't ignore the age gap. I knew that if I'd gotten in to a proper relationship with her, that there'd be a good chance of me straying on her as she got older. And vica versa too, I don't see how women who become involved with men 20 years their senior, how the men expect these relationships to last. Does anyone else have an opinion on this, do you think relationships where one person is a lot older than the other can work?

We are not going to help you justify cheating on your ex.

biko

A husband 4 years younger than the wife is expected to die the same year.

dublin49

i love the Ricky Gervais gag about hugh Hefner lying about his age to his new bride,he told her he was 94

Greentopia

Of course. All depends on the couple. Had a few short relationships with guys younger than me... one a lot younger, and he didn't complain

Depends on what both parties are looking for, same as any relationship. The only things that may put a spanner in the works is kids- if one half wants them and the other is too old to have them, or a generation gap creating a lack of things in common.

NSAman

And Melania, what first attracted you to Mister Trump………?

UI_Paddy

UI_Paddy wrote: »

My uncle is 27 years older than his wife. They've been together over 20 years, and have three children. I'm proud to say it has all worked out for them.

Why are you proud?

CB19Kevo

Anything much over 10 years of a gap would be challenging i would imagine.

pgj2015

just saw the wedding pic from the Boris Johnson wedding. what does she see in him I wonder.

I see sheep

UI_Paddy wrote: »

My uncle is 27 years older than his wife.

Nice..

Zaph

CB19Kevo wrote: »

Anything much over 10 years of a gap would be challenging i would imagine.

Why would you imagine that? I'm 18 years older than my wife, we'll be married nine years next month. Every time one of these threads comes along, which is more often than you'd think, it tends to be full of sweeping statements like that from people who have no experience of a similar relationship themselves. As someone pointed out earlier, relationships do fail, and for many reasons. A big age gap may be introducing another possible reason for failure to a relationship, but it's not a given that a) the relationship will fail; or b) the reason for the failure is going to be the age gap. But ultimately what difference does it make to anybody outside the relationship what the age difference is, as long as it's an equal partnership and one partner, let's face it most likely the older one, isn't abusing a dominant position to the detriment of the other partner. And I'm not saying that because of my own position, quite frankly I couldn't care less how old a couple are as long as they have a happy relationship.

the-island-man

South park - Nice

Moragle

16 years later, 3 children, a 12 year age gap and addiction issues (his, not mine) were motoring on.its not your age, it's your ability to weather the storms. And what's the rough seas or a capsize

Real Donald Trump

I see sheep wrote: »

Nice..

:pac:

pockets3d

They don't give ferrari's away son they make them by hand.

Make the nice old lady happy you want to be Batman don't you?

Stop crying, batman doesn't cry.

Burt Renaults

UI_Paddy wrote: »

My uncle is 27 years older than his wife.

I dated someone a good bit younger than me for a while last year. It didn't last - there were other issues, but the age gap was a big one for me.

UI_Paddy

Niner leprauchan wrote: »

Why are you proud?

Because they have been happily married for nearly 18 years. I'd say the same about any couple I know who have been together that long and made things work.

boardlady

My husband is 12 years older than me. 25 years on, we are still invested thankfully. It wasn't easy in the beginning but I don't think the age gap was really the problem. I think I have a fondness for older men

Hyperbollix

For men, an age gap where the woman is a lot younger makes no difference at all.

For women, an age gap where the man is a lot older makes no difference at all. As long as he's loaded.

dublin49

I think it matters little for most age groups/stages of life but I could envisage frustration later in life where an energtic 65 year old is partnered with a +80 year old.

I'm 33 and my gf is 45 but looks younger than myself Tbf.

We are 9 months together and get on incredibly well. However, I'm getting a few niggly doubts now on how practical it is. Kids is the elephant in the room. I'm starting to want some and can only see this strengthen where as its not on her agenda.

boardlady

Jeremias Crashing Kite wrote: »

I'm 33 and my gf is 45 but looks younger than myself Tbf.

We are 9 months together and get on incredibly well. However, I'm getting a few niggly doubts now on how practical it is. Kids is the elephant in the room. I'm starting to want some and can only see this strengthen where as its not on her agenda.

This is always the main issue where the woman is the elder in the relationship and at an age where children are no longer an option. I'm sorry you are at this crossroads.

pgj2015

Jeremias Crashing Kite wrote: »

I'm 33 and my gf is 45 but looks younger than myself Tbf.

We are 9 months together and get on incredibly well. However, I'm getting a few niggly doubts now on how practical it is. Kids is the elephant in the room. I'm starting to want some and can only see this strengthen where as its not on her agenda.

There is plenty more fish in the sea.

pgj2015

pgj2015 wrote: »

There is plenty more fish in the sea.

Jeez, you'll never get work as an 'agony aunt' in the paper.....she's 45,looks well,they get on 'incredibly well', ok so the issue of offspring MAY become devisesive but I'd hardly say " kick her to the kerbs' at the first obstacle/ hurdle

ED E

A friend's dad was way older than his mother. Fine, but he was ancient when the kids were still kids and they had to mourn his death at a very early age. That's wrong IMHO.

The One Doctor

Tell me how wrote: »

Most relationships end. That's a fact.

All relationships end, because people die, remember?

mohawk

It isn’t so much the age that matters but more where people are in their lives that matters. The bigger the age gap the more likely that they are in different life stages. Most of us find that our priorities change as we get older, but we are all different and some people don’t change much between 25 and 40.
If two people want the same things in life and are happy together then age isn’t going to come between them.

pgj2015

Ken Mc Carthy wrote: »

Jeez, you'll never get work as an 'agony aunt' in the paper.....she's 45,looks well,they get on 'incredibly well', ok so the issue of offspring MAY become devisesive but I'd hardly say " kick her to the kerbs' at the first obstacle/ hurdle

Loads of women look well and there are thousands of women he would get on well with in fairness.

Purple_Bear

Well, I'm 41 and I was married for 5 years to a woman who was only a year older than me, and despite there being no real age gap, the marriage still didn't work out. On the other hand, my current partner is 23 and this is by far the best relationship I've ever been in. Aside from the amazing connection we have, the sex is absolutely mind blowing. We're together 4 years and we intend on spending the rest of our lives together. She is the most wonderful person I know, I love her very essence - it's also pretty great that she bears an uncanny resemblance to Christy Turlington:D Many people bring up the resemblance when they first meet her. And the age gap?- we don't even think about it now, that's how little it matters to us or how little it affects our relationship. I know it's a cliché, but age really is just a number.

Tell me how

The_Painter wrote: »

Well, I'm 41 and I was married for 5 years to a woman who was only a year older than me, and despite there being no real age gap, the marriage still didn't work out. On the other hand, my current partner is 23 and this is by far the best relationship I've ever been in. Aside from the amazing connection we have, the sex is absolutely mind blowing. We're together 4 years and we intend on spending the rest of our lives together. She is the most wonderful person I know, I love her very essence - it's also pretty great that she bears an uncanny resemblance to Christy Turlington:D Many people bring up the resemblance when they first meet her. And the age gap?- we don't even think about it now, that's how little it matters to us or how little it affects our relationship. I know it's a cliché, but age really is just a number.

A 23 year old that looks like a 52 year old. That's a back handed compliment of sorts.

Leg End Reject

The_Painter wrote: »

Well, I'm 41 and I was married for 5 years to a woman who was only a year older than me, and despite there being no real age gap, the marriage still didn't work out. On the other hand, my current partner is 23 and this is by far the best relationship I've ever been in. Aside from the amazing connection we have, the sex is absolutely mind blowing. We're together 4 years and we intend on spending the rest of our lives together. She is the most wonderful person I know, I love her very essence - it's also pretty great that she bears an uncanny resemblance to Christy Turlington:D Many people bring up the resemblance when they first meet her. And the age gap?- we don't even think about it now, that's how little it matters to us or how little it affects our relationship. I know it's a cliché, but age really is just a number.

Does she like swimming?

pgj2015

The_Painter wrote: »

Well, I'm 41 and I was married for 5 years to a woman who was only a year older than me, and despite there being no real age gap, the marriage still didn't work out. On the other hand, my current partner is 23 and this is by far the best relationship I've ever been in. Aside from the amazing connection we have, the sex is absolutely mind blowing. We're together 4 years and we intend on spending the rest of our lives together. She is the most wonderful person I know, I love her very essence - it's also pretty great that she bears an uncanny resemblance to Christy Turlington:D Many people bring up the resemblance when they first meet her. And the age gap?- we don't even think about it now, that's how little it matters to us or how little it affects our relationship. I know it's a cliché, but age really is just a number.

Yeah well Im seeing a woman who looks like Nelly Furtado.

The DayDream

ED E wrote: »

A friend's dad was way older than his mother. Fine, but he was ancient when the kids were still kids and they had to mourn his death at a very early age. That's wrong IMHO.

In your opinion it was wrong of him TO DIE?

Pauliedragon

I used to work for a guy whos father was older than his grandfather.

OscarMIlde

The_Painter wrote: »

Well, I'm 41 and I was married for 5 years to a woman who was only a year older than me, and despite there being no real age gap, the marriage still didn't work out. On the other hand, my current partner is 23 and this is by far the best relationship I've ever been in. Aside from the amazing connection we have, the sex is absolutely mind blowing. We're together 4 years and we intend on spending the rest of our lives together. She is the most wonderful person I know, I love her very essence - it's also pretty great that she bears an uncanny resemblance to Christy Turlington:D Many people bring up the resemblance when they first meet her. And the age gap?- we don't even think about it now, that's how little it matters to us or how little it affects our relationship. I know it's a cliché, but age really is just a number.

Getting with a 19 year old when you are 37 is creepy in my opinion, way too big of a difference in terms of life experience and maturity.
.

OscarMIlde

OscarMIlde wrote: »

Getting with a 19 year old when you are 37 is creepy in my opinion, way too big of a difference in terms of life experience and maturity.
.

Are you new around these parts?

pauliebdub

One of my friends in school, a guy, was always into older women and was often flirty with some of our mothers who were mostly in their 40's. It seemed very weird at the time like some kind of fetish, he was otherwise a fit normal sporty lad.

He spent his 20's dating and picking up older usually separated women in pubs and is now married to a woman who is about 20 years older than him and seems happy

Older women are inevitably going to be a helluva lot better in bed than younger ones.

In my own genealogy there are many incidences of major age gaps in relationships. There's widowed spouse marrying nieces of deceased spouse. marriage of my mother's first cousin's enduringly loving marriage to a woman 25 years his senior, my mother's uncle's enduring affair with a woman 29 years his senior until his death from cancer. However much disapproval in the family, though mostly in account of current/previous marital status.

corner of hells

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Are you new around these parts?

You're 37 ? I knew it.