Were You In Love Or Did You Just Settle For What You Had?

I married based on compatibility instead of looks.

Looks and sex take a back seat to kids and life so you better like the person getting into bed beside you a lot more than you fancy them

Count Down

KathleenGrant wrote: »

Ok I see now what you mean.
You hardly resent being born though. Are you not glad?
On the plus side, myself and a lot of people my age had children we never planned and it was not unknown for women to be upset to be pregnant again. But that was just a reaction at the time and those children were loved and cherished the same as those who were planned.
I really hope that was the case with you.

It's all to do with genetics - if your parents don't have children, it's unlikely that you'll have any either.

_Kaiser_

Hamachi wrote: »

Many people are very happy being single

This is true, and I agree with an earlier comment that you need to be happy by yourself/with your own company, before you can be happy with someone else.

The biggest issue about being single though is Irish society is biased towards couples/marriage - things like mortgages/home ownership, taxation, child access/rights for single fathers etc

Zinchenko231

Zinchenko231 wrote: »

This is why most married people have bad sex lives.

Well it's called being a grown up parent really.

Studies have shown that married people actually have more sex

Antares35

Zinchenko231 wrote: »

...most married people have bad sex lives.

Do they?

Antares35

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

This is true, and I agree with an earlier comment that you need to be happy by yourself/with your own company, before you can be happy with someone else.

The biggest issue about being single though is Irish society is biased towards couples/marriage - things like mortgages/home ownership, taxation, child access/rights for single fathers etc

I don't know if the mortgage issue is necessarily a "society" issue rather than just a financial one. The housing market has just gone so bananas that it's impossible to buy on one salary, whereas previous generations could.

I agree with you on the other points.

Count Down

Count Down wrote: »

It's all to do with genetics - if your parents don't have children, it's unlikely that you'll have any either.

This deserves more credit

0lddog

What about poor Melinda & Bill ... settle ?

Niner leprauchan wrote: »

...Studies have shown that married people actually have more sex*

* - not necessarily at the same time ?

shtpEdthePlum

Zinchenko231 wrote: »

I'd like to see the details of those studies and if all factors are considered. Also, quality is more important than quality in my opinion. I'd prefer to have passionate sex once a month than routine starfish sex 10 times per month.

Ah in fairness the suction cups are kinky.

December2012

I love my husband. I'm either mad about him, or mad at him.

0lddog

0lddog wrote: »

What about poor Melinda & Bill ... settle ?



* - not necessarily at the same time ?

Or with the same person?

Cilldara_2000

pgj2015 wrote: »

my standards have risen as I got older, because I prefer being single, it will want to be a fantastic woman to get me to change my mind.

This tbh.

And the longer I go on, the more I prefer paddling my own canoe.

Hamachi

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

This is true, and I agree with an earlier comment that you need to be happy by yourself/with your own company, before you can be happy with someone else.

The biggest issue about being single though is Irish society is biased towards couples/marriage - things like mortgages/home ownership, taxation, child access/rights for single fathers etc

100%.

Another thing to consider here is that Irish culture is hard-wired towards marriage and family life. For all the media commentary about modernity and individualism, the fact remains that Irish society is still pretty conservative.

People who remain single after a certain age are seen as vaguely eccentric. It’s very different in some of continental Europe, where being single in your 30s, 40s or older is entirely unremarkable.

I love living in Ireland and I love being married. However, if I was single at my age (late 30s), I’d seriously consider relocating to London or Berlin for a more vibrant social life as a single man.

ILoveYourVibes

Hyperbollix wrote: »

Marry for love in your 20's..............

Marry for financial security, social status, 3 holidays and a new car every year... in your 30's

I WANT IT ALL!

TBH i just want TRUE love ..the real deal.

Ms. Newbie18

Cilldara_2000 wrote: »

This tbh.

And the longer I go on, the more I prefer paddling my own canoe.

Agreed. You can get very used to being by yourself. So when dating if someone doesn't excite me I kinda think whats the point?

Ms. Newbie18

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I WANT IT ALL!

TBH i just want TRUE love ..the real deal.

Yep - I can't settle for anything else.