Funeral

Need a Username

How would a person go about leaving instructions that certain people are not welcome at their funeral - whenever that happens to be?

Besides leaving it up to someone you know to tell those people.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Outlive them?

Fighting Tao

Need a Username wrote: »

How would a person go about leaving instructions that certain people are not welcome at their funeral - whenever that happens to be?

Besides leaving it up to someone you know to tell those people.

How do you plan to enforce if from the coffin?

L1011

In your will, and by making sure your family known both who isn't welcome and that its in your will. You would also need to let people know you won't no death notices at all or until after the funeral.

Still won't stop people coming unless your funeral is held in secret.

07Lapierre

Maybe resolve whatever issues you have with these people now,so that by the time of the funeral, they will be welcome to attend? Then you really can rest in peace.

It BeeMee

Die now, but make sure they're not in the Top 10

whatawaster81

Take out an advertisement in the Irish Times

Hyperbollix

"Family flowers only, donations to a charity of your choice.
House strictly private from 7pm
No need for the Murphy's of Ballydegob to come, you f****rs can p**s off

May his gentle soul rest in peace"

Op is 21.

Papa_Bear

Need a Username wrote: »

How would a person go about leaving instructions that certain people are not welcome at their funeral - whenever that happens to be?

Besides leaving it up to someone you know to tell those people.

Well I'll be thinking about that when I'm pissin' on your grave.

For Forks Sake

Need a Username wrote: »

How would a person go about leaving instructions that certain people are not welcome at their funeral - whenever that happens to be?

Besides leaving it up to someone you know to tell those people.

If it's the Healy-Raes you're trying to keep away, good f*cking luck with that, they're even showing up with the first condolence reply on the death notices on RIP.ie

Gregor Samsa

You can put it in your will, but really it has no more power in there than it does written on a Post-It note that you stick on the fridge. The only legal function of a will is to determine the distribution of your estate after death. Any instructions outside of that have no legal weight whatsoever.

Anyhow, in most cases, your family are unlikely to even read your will until well after your funeral, so actual having it on a Post-It note on the fridge probably has a better chance of reaching its intended audience in time.

That said, letting your family know about unwelcome attendees would be the only practical way of reducing the risk that they go. Or indeed letting the unwelcome attendees themselves know well in advance.

But really, once the people know about the funeral and when and where it's being held, there's nothing but an appeal to their decency to stop them from going.

I guess in theory one could attempt to get some kind of court order preventing them from attending, but I don't know if that's actually feasible at all.

RacoonQueen

Need a Username wrote: »

How would a person go about leaving instructions that certain people are not welcome at their funeral - whenever that happens to be?

Besides leaving it up to someone you know to tell those people.

If they dislike you as much as you do them, they'll want to go to your funeral so they can make sure you go in the ground. Tough luck.

elperello

You would be putting your family in an invidious position by expecting them to exclude certain persons from the funeral.

They will have enough emotions to deal with on the day without having to confront prospective attendees.

Your best bet is to leave instructions for a private unannounced funeral and publish the death notice later.

Zebra3

07Lapierre wrote: »

Maybe resolve whatever issues you have with these people now,so that by the time of the funeral, they will be welcome to attend? Then you really can rest in peace.

Rest in peace? OP will be dead. Any issues like that won't bother them.

branie2

Try to make peace before passing on

Montage of Feck

Let go of the bitterness OP, you'll live longer.

A friend has his funeral planned and the undertaker sorted.

Wake will be by invitation only. Funeral service has been provided in writing to people who will honour his wishes.

SouthWesterly

SouthWesterly wrote: »

A friend has his funeral planned and the undertaker sorted.

Wake will be by invitation only. Funeral service has been provided in writing to people who will honour his wishes.

So what does this prove exactly. Let’s say you’re dead and the person you don’t want to come to your funeral does not come to the funeral? A win?

No. You’re still dead.

Alternatively, let’s say that the person who you don’t want to come to your funeral does in fact come to the funeral? A loss?

No. You’re still dead.

Strumms

Strictly ‘by Invitation only’ written in the death notice and have a bouncer on the church door with a guest list... “ sorry folks, not tonight “.

Panthro

Even when you're dead you're still in their head.

Check. Mate.

SouthWesterly

SouthWesterly wrote: »

A friend has his funeral planned and the undertaker sorted.

Wake will be by invitation only. Funeral service has been provided in writing to people who will honour his wishes.

I somewhat hope that his preferences will be widely disrespected.

Funerals are for relatives and friends, they are not a parade for the dead person. When a relative of mine was dying and drawing up his funeral, we made it clear that he could state whichever preferences be wanted, but the funeral wasn't only about him.

Larbre34

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Let go of the bitterness OP, you'll live longer.

Yeah this.

One thing is for certain, when it comes to pass, you absolutely will not give a single ****

The DayDream

The thing is after you're dead you really have fook all say in what goes on in the land of the living. That is what being dead is kind of all about.

My advice is: tell them now while you're alive that you don't want them there and that if they go to your funeral you intend to haunt them from the grave.

I don't even believe in ghosts but still if someone told me that I would probably heed them just to be on the safe side.

Your best bet is have the whole thing pre-arranged with an undertaker. Make it a ticket only event.

SineadSpears

Just tell the person that if you were to die tomorrow, you wouldn't want them at your funeral.

Hopefully you'll p1ss them off enough that they won't want to go, & you get what you want.

But really, you'll be dead so how will even enjoy the satisfaction.


I still suggest you tell them!

A Tyrant Named Miltiades!

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I somewhat hope that his preferences will be widely disrespected.

Funerals are for relatives and friends, they are not a parade for the dead person. When a relative of mine was dying and drawing up his funeral, we made it clear that he could state whichever preferences be wanted, but the funeral wasn't only about him.

You obviously don't know those who've been asked to exercise his wishes.

Kalimah

Saw a death notice in the Irish Times about 15 years ago- the last line was “ those she did not speak to, please do not attend”
It was the strangest death notice ever!

Atlantic Dawn

Get someone associated with organising the funeral to tell them to fook off. Provided the reason is the dead fella/fellette wanted it.

SineadSpears

Kalimah wrote: »

Saw a death notice in the Irish Times about 15 years ago- the last line was “ those she did not speak to, please do not attend”
It was the strangest death notice ever!

That sounds like something I would do

jojofizzio

Kalimah wrote: »

Saw a death notice in the Irish Times about 15 years ago- the last line was “ those she did not speak to, please do not attend”
It was the strangest death notice ever!

Brilliant!!:D:D
Direct and to the point....no hangers-on/distant acquaintances welcome....saves on the bill for the food at the hotel after...

Edgware

If you really want to piss them off have them as a beneficiary in your Will. Let them get a letter from your solicitor advising that they have been bequeathed a copy of "How to be a decent human being" "Tips on personal hygiene" and a small cash bequest of coins from the former Soviet Republics. Throw in your collection Farmers Journals as well if from a rural area.

punisher5112

Hire security.

beauf

Make it pay per view.

YFlyer

Need a Username wrote: »

How would a person go about leaving instructions that certain people are not welcome at their funeral - whenever that happens to be?

Besides leaving it up to someone you know to tell those people.

Their dead, they're dead.

punisher5112

Send the people a letter....

L1011

Hope the country is in lock down when you die.

L1011 wrote: »

In your will, and by making sure your family known both who isn't welcome and that its in your will. You would also need to let people know you won't no death notices at all or until after the funeral.

Still won't stop people coming unless your funeral is held in secret.

Are wills executed that quickly here?

Mrs OBumble

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I but the funeral wasn't only about him.

Not for him. But I'd be pretty sure the funeral was 100% about him.

Zebra3

Strumms wrote: »

Strictly ‘by Invitation only’ written in the death notice and have a bouncer on the church door with a guest list... “ sorry folks, not tonight “.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tguP14GMrCA

xzanti

Post a passive aggressive quote on Facebook.

Something along the lines of "don't weep at my funeral if you ignored me in life".

cj maxx

No opinion , but this thread has given me a laugh:)

is_that_so

Need a Username wrote: »

How would a person go about leaving instructions that certain people are not welcome at their funeral - whenever that happens to be?

Besides leaving it up to someone you know to tell those people.

The dead don't care what's happening in this world, so let it go. Having had to resolve a scenario like this I'd say the same thing here, people are entitled to mourn and nobody has any right to take that away from them. What you can do, if you're really so inclined, is limit them to the service and burial.

frag420

Those of you that turn up uninvited to my funeral...

...I’m going to haunt you for the rest of your life


Sorted!!

growleaves

is_that_so wrote: »

The dead don't care what's happening in this world, so let it go.

How do you know that?

Spanish Eyes

In the death notice on RIP or wherever, state that "A private funeral will be held at X's request". Your executor or trusted family member will hopefully keep it private.

is_that_so

growleaves wrote: »

How do you know that?

Well, the living always claim to know what the decedent wanted so I say they want nothing more to do with us!

Need a Username

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy wrote: »

Outlive them?

That would be the easiest way.

Need a Username

L1011 wrote: »

In your will, and by making sure your family known both who isn't welcome and that its in your will. You would also need to let people know you won't no death notices at all or until after the funeral.

Still won't stop people coming unless your funeral is held in secret.

That would require the will reading to be read very soon after death.

Also I would prefer something with less effort.

Need a Username

07Lapierre wrote: »

Maybe resolve whatever issues you have with these people now,so that by the time of the funeral, they will be welcome to attend? Then you really can rest in peace.

It is issues that cannot be resolved and I would rest in peace knowing there was no unwelcome guests

Need a Username

Hyperbollix wrote: »

"Family flowers only, donations to a charity of your choice.
House strictly private from 7pm
No need for the Murphy's of Ballydegob to come, you f****rs can p**s off

May his gentle soul rest in peace"

I can indeed use this as a template

Need a Username

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Let go of the bitterness OP, you'll live longer.

What bitterness?