Family not wanting to follow lockdown anymore

LegacyUser

I feel so sic with what I had to experience lately. My mother has decided she doesn't want to follow lockdown any more. She's putting g herself more at risk now. She has a reasonably quality of life right now. She enjoys going out walking. She decided recently to give up with the lockdown because she hates it and herself and her friends are meeting up several times a week in each others homes for tea and chats. They are generally moving about more and getting more public transport and buses and trains too. My mother is 70 and she has some underlying conditions but nothing too serious but I would still be worried that if she was to contract the virus, she may doing badly with it. Not only that but she's putting the rest of my family who live with her at risk.

I keep telling her it's weeks away to a vaccine. Perhaps April or May but she doesn't want to wait anymore.

I feel sick with what she's doing. She doesn't want to follow lockdown any more. I don't understand why she followed the restrictions to date just to give up now so close to a vaccine.

What can I do to get to follow the guidelines and to minimise contracting the virus?

Xterminator

you can do nothing, but look after yourself. your mum is of sound mind and has chosen to break lockdown rules. But you cannot force another person to do the right thing - just set a good example.

now when it come to looking after yourself, you can be extra fastidious about things like hand washing, sitting in an unventilated room with mum etc. sharing utensils etc.

Some distancing from mum may be wise, for now. And i she asks, you can tell her why.

Airyfairy12

Unfortunatly theres nothing you can do, I understand how worrying it must be for you, the thoughts of your mother becoming ill with Covid must be causing you so much anxiety, your concerns are valid but it is really her choice.

Away With The Fairies

I don't understand the comments how it's the mother's choice. It's not just about the mother. It's their friends they're meeting up with. It's also their friend's families. Using public transport as well. There's so much potential for spread. Can the guards do anything since household visits are still banned?

ypres5

Away With The Fairies wrote: »

I don't understand the comments how it's the mother's choice. It's not just about the mother. It's their friends they're meeting up with. It's also their friend's families. Using public transport as well. There's so much potential for spread. Can the guards do anything since household visits are still banned?

you're seriously suggesting he ring the guards because his mam visited someone's house for a cup of tea?

Away With The Fairies

ypres5 wrote: »

you're seriously suggesting he ring the guards because his mam visited someone's house for a cup of tea?

It's not just one house though. The op said the mother and her friends are meeting up. The word friends suggest multiple friends.

The more you meet, the more risk there is.

The DayDream

I wouldn't worry too much, it's some old biddies meeting for tea. They'll probably fall out or get sick of each other soon enough. So few things are open and there are check points she can't go many other places. I'm sure when you were a teen you went to places she wouldn't have been happy about that were more dangerous than Margaret up the roads sitting room.

But I can understand being annoyed. I work in an 'essential' business and it's the grannies and grandpas who are out in full force all the time. It's annoying to me, as we were all told to be on lockdown to protect these oldsters and they are the ones not staying home and more likely to have their mask half off their face.

The older generation tend to get up early in the day and after they're done their housework they get lonely and bored want to go around annoying people. Unlike those of us who grew up on the internet (and can see our phones without glasses) they seem to crave face to face socializing (gossiping about neighbours, complaining about their ailments, chatting absolute shíte to cashiers oblivious to the queue behind them). I think they're probably of the opinion that they dont have much time left/are gonna die soon anyway so don't want to spend any days just sitting around doing nothing.

Which is why I think we should lift the lockdown. I was on board with it for a year. I'm done. Especially since I still have to work full time, dealing with the public, for not much more than the PUP everyone else is on. Then I can go nowhere on my day off, not even past 5k which is where most of my friends are since I moved home during the pandemic.

Since the majority of us under 60 will not have serious risks from covid, let us have our lives back. So many Over 60s I see willing to come out and risk catching it, if they don't want to stay home don't make them do it either.

Anyway I got off track. Unless the tea parties turn into total ragers like the jam in Limerick I wouldn't be too worried. Old people don't listen anyway.

SusieBlue

There is nothing you can do. Everyone has a limit and your mum has reached hers, imminent vaccine or no vaccine.

Please consider that if she followed the rules up till now and has suddenly stopped, she must be quite miserable and feeling desperate. So maybe her current quality of life isn’t as good as you think it is.
In the grand scheme of rule breaking, meeting a few like minded elderly friends for tea isn’t the worst she could be up to, particularly when nothing is open anyway.
I spoke to a relative of a similar age recently who has started seeing their grandchildren indoors again over the last fortnight, they feel they have already missed out on so much and with their advanced age they only have so long left with their families, covid aside. Maybe your mum has had a similar realisation.

All you can do is be responsible for yourself and look after yourself, I understand it’s very stressful for you if you’re nervous of the virus.
I would keep your distance, both physically and figuratively, as much as you can because it really isn’t worth falling out with her over.
Be kind to yourself and do what you can to ease your anxiety. And remember that while you have her best interests at heart, she alone is responsible for looking after herself and you cannot force help on someone who doesn’t want to be helped.

Atlantic Dawn

What doesn't kill her will make her stronger.

Rubberchikken

I sawy first elderly lady without a mask in our local tesco yesterday. I will admit I was surprised but at the end of the day I reckon it's her decision. Security didn't seem to have issues with her coming in and maybe she feels she can't/won't get vivid..who knows.

I don't think you can do much with your mother's decision other than show her that you'll keep following restrictions and guidelines and maybe she'll come back around to them in time.

She's probably getting as fed up with it all as a lot more are. That's only natural.
Hopefully she'll avoid any risk.

Oink

Rubberchikken wrote: »

I sawy first elderly lady without a mask in our local tesco yesterday. I will admit I was surprised but at the end of the day I reckon it's her decision.

The thing with the mask is that it’s mostly to protect OTHER people. So no, I don’t agree - to say the least. I would take it personally if anyone came near me or my children without a mask.

Wanderer78

Atlantic Dawn wrote:

What doesn't kill her will make her stronger.

Maybe she 'll need that strength in heaven!

Nothing you can do op but look after yourself, make sure to wear your mask around her, best of luck with it

Jequ0n

It’s her own decision so you can’t do anything about it. You are, however, perfectly in your right to limit your contact with her if you are worried. She can then decide what’s is more important to her.

And unrelated: she might just be one of few people who admit that they are bending the rules. Have a look at any park/ recreational area/ playground when the weather is nice. And I bet all of these people will tell you that they all stick to the rules ...

Buddy Bubs

I'd say its widespread. People are done with it now and listening to news about people coming in to the country, budget deficits, delayed vaccine roll outs. There will be more and more not complying with restrictions as we move into the more outdoor weather. You can't choose for people.

TheadoreT

She's the type of lowlife that's caused the problems and probably points her finger at everyone else(government, nobody else following ect..) before taking personal accountability. You should be ashamed of her and report any future rule breaches.

Wanderer78

TheadoreT wrote: »

She's the type of lowlife that's caused the problems and probably points her finger at everyone else(government, nobody else following ect..) before taking personal accountability. You should be ashamed of her and report any future rule breaches.

fcuk off!

Hoboo

If this was a group of lads meeting in a síbín the thread would have a very different tone.

TheadoreT

Wanderer78 wrote: »

fcuk off!

Probably another subhuman scum here who put others lives at risk

vladmydad

Leave her alone Karen. Such a bunch of curtain twitchers on this thread. Just reread what you’ve typed on here. Asking strangers what you should do about a grown woman meeting her friends!!! What have you all turned into ? I often wondered how regular people could reach a level where they could inform on their neighbors in the USSR, East Germany etc. now see it and it’s fcuking terrifying. #LookInAMirror

Wanderer78

TheadoreT wrote: »

Probably another subhuman scum here who put others lives at risk

you really are some arsehole, the op is obviously concerned about their mother, and understandably so, the last thing they need is some stranger on the internets being judgmental, and being an all round arsehole

SnuggyBear

TheadoreT wrote: »

She's the type of lowlife that's caused the problems and probably points her finger at everyone else(government, nobody else following ect..) before taking personal accountability. You should be ashamed of her and report any future rule breaches.

Disgusting post.

TheadoreT

You see its more the people going out with flagrant disregard for others lives that are disgusting. Those apologising for her are probably trying to justify or ease their own guilt for their part in this sorry mess.

Wanderer78

TheadoreT wrote: »

You see its more the people going out with flagrant disregard for others lives that are disgusting. Those apologising for her are probably trying to justify or ease their own guilt for their part in this sorry mess.

believe it or not, socializing is a critical human need, hence why we do it, ive been braking restriction rules throughout lockdown, ive no guilt, i do this to maintain my well being, i will be doing so again this weekend for the same reasons

Hoboo

Wanderer78 wrote: »

believe it or not, socializing is a critical human need, hence why we do it, ive been braking restriction rules throughout lockdown, ive no guilt, i do this to maintain my well being, i will be doing so again this weekend for the same reasons

Aye and it's your constitutional right blah blah blah. Fair play, full time mad bastard I'm guessing?

TheadoreT

Wanderer78 wrote: »

believe it or not, socializing is a critical human need, hence why we do it, ive been braking restriction rules throughout lockdown, ive no guilt, i do this to maintain my well being, i will be doing so again this weekend for the same reasons

There's ways and means to socialize, online etc without putting others at risk. You're putting your own selfish needs above the actual lives of others. Nobody has had the time of their lives here but most (unfortunately not all) realise the gravitas of the situation and that compliance on a large scale is whats needed.

Wanderer78

Hoboo wrote: »

Aye and it's your constitutional right blah blah blah. Fair play, full time mad bastard I'm guessing?

nothing to do with the constitution or being mad, just maintaining my well being, plain and simple

Wanderer78

TheadoreT wrote: »

There's ways and means to socialize, online etc without putting others at risk. You're putting your own selfish needs above the actual lives of others. Nobody has had the time of their lives here but most (unfortunately not all) realise the gravitas of the situation and that compliance on a large scale is whats needed.

you ll will find many struggle with tech, particularly older generations, and online 'socializing' tends to be very anti-social strangely enough, i personally hate it, boards being the only social media outlet i use

newuser99999

Wanderer78 wrote: »

you ll will find many struggle with tech, particularly older generations, and online 'socializing' tends to be very anti-social strangely enough, i personally hate it, boards being the only social media outlet i use

They can pick up a telephone and ring a friend?

This is meant to be the generation we’ve stayed at home for a year for.

So unbelievably selfish. You won’t see news articles written about them or hear Pat Kenny moaning about elderly people socializing.

Hannibal_Smith

Mod Note

Enough of the on thread bickering. The OP has come here for advice, if you can't offer any in a constructive or civil way, move on to another thread.

If you have a problem with a post or poster, report it and let the mods deal with it.

Offer advice to the OP regarding their issue or move on.

Thanks

HS

Wanderer78

newuser99999 wrote: »

They can pick up a telephone and ring a friend?

This is meant to be the generation we’ve stayed at home for a year for.

So unbelievably selfish. You won’t see news articles written about them or hear Pat Kenny moaning about elderly people socializing.

humans need actual contact, again, this is a critical need, low level depression such as loneliness is relatively high, particularly at that age, ive been finding more and more people, in particular older people have been stopping for chats while ive been out walking, people need this, restrictions are starting to break down as people struggle to deal with the psychological implications of these restrictions

SusieBlue

TheadoreT wrote: »

You see its more the people going out with flagrant disregard for others lives that are disgusting. Those apologising for her are probably trying to justify or ease their own guilt for their part in this sorry mess.

Oh, please. Get off your moral high horse. You have absolutely no proof that any of your past actions haven’t negatively effected an elderly or vulnerable person, or that you haven’t infected them with a virus that would be fatal to someone of their age, or someone with a compromised immune system.

If at any time in your life, you’ve done something as simple as leaving your house to go the shop when you were sick with the flu or a chest infection, just know your actions could have potentially killed someone. Any of us could have.
So you have absolutely no moral high ground here whatsoever.