A question about letter writing

ShatterAlan

I would like to write a letter to a girl that I am mad about. I've written the whole letter and I'm reasonably happy with the contents. What I have to say I think she will be happy to read.
It's basically an expression of feelings.



The thing is I typed this letter and now want to hand-write it to her. But I find myself looking at it and saying to myself "god, your handwriting is so bad now after it used to be so neat and flowing." I supposed everyone's penmanship has become bad since all we do is type. But I would love to send her my letter on paper with ink.


Some of my letters, like "s" or "g" look rushed and squiggly and I want her to be enamoured by the content of the letter, the fact that I hand-wrote it but also that my writing was nice.

Something happened between us a few months ago that has left me very saddened but I just want to write her a letter and I don't want it to be some sterile printed-off thing.

Dial Hard

Just write it out a few times til you're happy with your penmanship.

sura28

As long as it’s legible I don’t think your hand writing wIll ffect the result. If she likes you or not has nothing to do with your hand writing.

I have a terrible handwriting and it never put me off of writing letters. As long as she can read it, it should be fine.

If she judges you for that, maybe she’s not the girl for you.

Best of luck!

ShatterAlan

sura28 wrote: »

As long as it’s legible I don’t think your hand writing wIll ffect the result. If she likes you or not has nothing to do with your hand writing.

I have a terrible handwriting and it never put me off of writing letters. As long as she can read it, it should be fine.

If she judges you for that, maybe she’s not the girl for you.

Best of luck!

She would never judge me for anything as trivial as handwriting. She is the girl for me. I just want to give her one more reason to be impressed by me.

Well any reason.

Hannibal_Smith

If she won't judge you for your handwriting then write it out as neatly as possible and send the letter.

antix80

Dear darlin', please excuse my writing
I can't stop my hands from shaking
'Cause I'm cold and alone tonight

You'll need to paraphrase it as she may be familiar with ollie murs.

... Would a phonecall not be more appropriate in this day and age?

Anyway, google handwriting skills. They say you get better results writing with your arm than your wrist. The important thing is it's legible.

Big Bag of Chips

A hand written letter is so much more lovely and appreciated than an impersonal typed letter. You are not in a rush to send this so sit down when you have time and write it slowly and carefully. Make sure to form all your letters properly.

TheBoyConor

The specifics of the letter and handwriting aside, maybe take a step back and take a look at what you are proposing to do here.

You say something happened between ye? So I am guessing ye are not together and not dating? If not, then is that not self explanatory. Like, if she wanted to be with you she would be making her intentions clear or making that fact obvious to you or be open to approaches. You need to listen to the non-verbal communication here. She is communicating to you without using words - she is not in contact with you, which would suggest that she doesn't want to be!
Please do not force communication on someone who does not wish to receive it. You say she is the girl for you, but yet she is not talking to you and not reaching out.

There is a bit of a mismatch here. It all sounds a bit one sided and unrequited. You say you are mad about this girl.....but is she mad about you also? Unless you can hand on heart say that the feelings are mutual, you should not be forcing unwanted communication on her. If ye are so mad about eachother then why are ye not already in contact and exchanging communications regularly.

No offence, but the idea of sending a handwitten romantic letter to someone who is not otherwise in contact with you sounds a little creepy in this day and age. Honestly, it does have a creepy vibe to it. I'm sorry. If I had a friend who was receiving such letters without invitation, I would be advising her to exercise caution around that particular individual. It sounds a little suspect to me. If I received a handwritten letter from some girl i used to date I would have major alarm bells going off.
It is a fine line between cold sending handwritten letters and harrassment. Please do not go down that rabbithole. You could get yourself into a lot of trouble and cause a lot of stress for this girl who does not want it. And one more thing, if you genuinely care about this girl, then you wouldn't want her to be stressed or feeling in fear by being on the receiving end of unwanted communication, would you?

YellowLead

OP I think the quality of the handwriting is trivial here.

Do you think this woman would welcome the contact from you? Have you tried other means? There is nothing to suggest you have, but if you have tried calls, texts, emails to no avail then a letter isn’t going to do the trick.

However if things were left reasonably amicable then fire away and pour your heart into a letter it might make you feel better to get it all out and know that she has read it. If she cares for you she will be pleased you made the effort (though it doesn’t mean that would translate into loving you if she doesn’t)

If she has indicated she doesn’t want to hear from you and then receives a letter I can’t imagine it would land well.

Oink

The issue here is that OP posted this in the wrong forum.
Everyone here is discussing whether he should be doing it while he’s only talking about penmanship. He is the only one who knows her and thinks she will be happy to receive the letter.

TheBoyConor

Hmm. I have my doubts about the whole thing. If she is that happy to be in contact with him then why are they not already in regular contact.

I'd speculate that she has cut him off for whatever reason and this is an attempt to force communication on her when other channels have been cut off.

YellowLead

Oink wrote: »

The issue here is that OP posted this in the wrong forum.
Everyone here is discussing whether he should be doing it while he’s only talking about penmanship. He is the only one who knows her and thinks she will be happy to receive the letter.

I suspect that this whole thing is perhaps a wind up....
I mean there isn’t even a specific question in your post OP...

ShatterAlan

TheBoyConor wrote: »

The specifics of the letter and handwriting aside, maybe take a step back and take a look at what you are proposing to do here.

You say something happened between ye? So I am guessing ye are not together and not dating? If not, then is that not self explanatory. Like, if she wanted to be with you she would be making her intentions clear or making that fact obvious to you or be open to approaches. You need to listen to the non-verbal communication here. She is communicating to you without using words - she is not in contact with you, which would suggest that she doesn't want to be!
Please do not force communication on someone who does not wish to receive it. You say she is the girl for you, but yet she is not talking to you and not reaching out.

There is a bit of a mismatch here. It all sounds a bit one sided and unrequited. You say you are mad about this girl.....but is she mad about you also? Unless you can hand on heart say that the feelings are mutual, you should not be forcing unwanted communication on her. If ye are so mad about eachother then why are ye not already in contact and exchanging communications regularly.

No offence, but the idea of sending a handwitten romantic letter to someone who is not otherwise in contact with you sounds a little creepy in this day and age. Honestly, it does have a creepy vibe to it. I'm sorry. If I had a friend who was receiving such letters without invitation, I would be advising her to exercise caution around that particular individual. It sounds a little suspect to me. If I received a handwritten letter from some girl i used to date I would have major alarm bells going off.
It is a fine line between cold sending handwritten letters and harrassment. Please do not go down that rabbithole. You could get yourself into a lot of trouble and cause a lot of stress for this girl who does not want it. And one more thing, if you genuinely care about this girl, then you wouldn't want her to be stressed or feeling in fear by being on the receiving end of unwanted communication, would you?

Did it not ever occur to you that it might not be "creepy" as you so delicately put it? You don't know the minutiae of the situation yet wade in with your advice when all I was asking was about writing a letter.


Did it ever occur to you that what happened between us is a lot more complicated and unusual than you seem to be able to fathom.


Did you ever wish someone would contact you because you couldn't contact them and you hoped that someday they would find a way of getting in touch with you? If you couldn't reach them but they found a way of reaching you would you label that as uninvited? As "creepy"?

And what exactly is "this day and age"? 500 years ago was ok to send a letter to somebody who couldn't contact you for whatever reason but now it's all different?

What exactly is it about this "day and age" that causes you to think an affair of the heart or something as tender as reaching out to somebody is no longer acceptable?

ShatterAlan

YellowLead wrote: »

OP I think the quality of the handwriting is trivial here.

Do you think this woman would welcome the contact from you? Have you tried other means? There is nothing to suggest you have, but if you have tried calls, texts, emails to no avail then a letter isn’t going to do the trick.

However if things were left reasonably amicable then fire away and pour your heart into a letter it might make you feel better to get it all out and know that she has read it. If she cares for you she will be pleased you made the effort (though it doesn’t mean that would translate into loving you if she doesn’t)

If she has indicated she doesn’t want to hear from you and then receives a letter I can’t imagine it would land well.

She's forbidden to speak to me.

TheBoyConor

I just find the concept suspect. Are you hand on heart sure that she would welcome this letter?

I don't buy it that she might be unable to contact you. It is 2021, social media and the preponderance of communication platforms and apps make finding someone and communicating with them easier than it has ever been in history. If you want to find and contact someone, you can, save for them living a completely off grid life. And even then, you could contact someone the person knows well to pass on a message in person.

Its like this - if this girl wanted to get in touch with you, she would have done so already. She has not done so.

The situation, as you describe it, gives me the impression that it is all a little intense and forced on your part.

Perhaps I am wrong? Well, if I am then maybe you can explain the history of the relationship between ye so we can have a fuller understanding of the situation. And then, we will be able to offer fuller, more informed advice on what you should or should not do.

I don't think that is an unreasonable ask.

ShatterAlan wrote: »

She's forbidden to speak to me.

Why is that? Who has forbidden her? That sounds very strange.

If it is a court ordered prohibition then it is probably for good reason and you should not be interfering with that. You could be in contempt.

YellowLead

ShatterAlan wrote: »

She's forbidden to speak to me.

By people who know best? If this is some legal thing and she has a restraining order against you then I’m pretty sure you’d be in breach by writing a letter. If her parents have forbade her then back off she is too young. Is she part of a cult??? Can’t think of why somebody would be forbidden otherwise. A husband? Then leave her be.
Without the information as to why she can’t contact you this whole situation seems dodgy...sorry!

ShatterAlan

Oink wrote: »

The issue here is that OP posted this in the wrong forum.
Everyone here is discussing whether he should be doing it while he’s only talking about penmanship. He is the only one who knows her and thinks she will be happy to receive the letter.

Thank you so much, Oink. If it will clarify anything to anyone we have been romantically involved. She and I were mad about each other but something happened. Our love became exposed. She is of a different ethnicity and culture to me though we have so much in common. And now she is not allowed to have anything to do with me and I can't just call or text her for fear of causing her more trouble.


That's as best as I can explain it.


And please, people, don't come out with the cheesy "just smash her door down and whisk her away" or "if she really loved you she would break out and rush to your arms" like some kind of Love Conquers All movie.

ShatterAlan

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Hmm. I have my doubts about the whole thing. If she is that happy to be in contact with him then why are they not already in regular contact.

I'd speculate that she has cut him off for whatever reason and this is an attempt to force communication on her when other channels have been cut off.

It isn't like that TBC, I assure you.

TheBoyConor

OK

What is it like then?

YellowLead

ShatterAlan wrote: »

And now she is not allowed to have anything to do with me and I can't just call or text her for fear of causing her more trouble..

Wouldn’t a letter carry as much risk? If there are people controlling who she talks to via phone wouldn’t they open her mail???

ShatterAlan

TheBoyConor wrote: »

I just find the concept suspect. Are you hand on heart sure that she would welcome this letter?

I don't buy it that she might be unable to contact you. It is 2021, social media and the preponderance of communication platforms and apps make finding someone and communicating with them easier than it has ever been in history. If you want to find and contact someone, you can, save for them living a completely off grid life. And even then, you could contact someone the person knows well to pass on a message in person.

Its like this - if this girl wanted to get in touch with you, she would have done so already. She has not done so.

The situation, as you describe it, gives me the impression that it is all a little intense and forced on your part.

Perhaps I am wrong? Well, if I am then maybe you can explain the history of the relationship between ye so we can have a fuller understanding of the situation. And then, we will be able to offer fuller, more informed advice on what you should or should not do.

I don't think that is an unreasonable ask.


Why is that? Who has forbidden her? That sounds very strange.

If it is a court ordered prohibition then it is probably for good reason and you should not be interfering with that. You could be in contempt.

Courts have nothing to do with it. I just want to send her a love letter because she can't send one to me.

TheBoyConor

Exactly. If a letter arrives won't that be more hard evidence than a phonecall.

If she is in trouble or being controlled, would you not be better off talking to the Gardai or maybe some sort of domestic violence advisory service about the situation rather than writing love letters?

Courts have nothing to do with it. I just want to send her a love letter because she can't send one to me.

Why can't she? IF she wanted to reach out to you, then why can she not give you a ring, or a text, or look you up on facebook if she don't have your number? Or even contact a mutual friend if you are not on social media for them to pass on a message to you or get your number.

I don't buy it. If she actually wanted to contact you, she would find a way. I think you are deluded mate. Your judgement is clouded.

ShatterAlan

TheBoyConor wrote: »

OK

What is it like then?

That's none of your business. I'm asking people about writing a letter and you are accusing me of stalking minors. Why don't you just go away if that's the best you can offer?

TheBoyConor

Well we don't know what to think either. You are telling us all this sketchy information about a forbidden girl, and wanting to write some sort of poetic letter to her without alerting her masters.

You have to admit, the whole thing sounds incredibly dodgy. It is up to you as the OP to clarify the story and tell us exactly what is going on.

If you are concerned for this girl's wellbeing and safety, then it is the Gardai you need to be in contact with - not writing victorian love letters.

You can't expect to get informed advice if you are only telling half a story with cherry picked details being dip fed through.

Hannibal_Smith

Mod Note

TheBoyConor constructive advice is welcome here. Belittling an OP is not and I have removed one of your posts that went too far.

If you have no constructive advice to offer the OP on the issue they are seeking help with, please move on to another thread.

Thanks

HS

ShatterAlan

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Well we don't know what to think either. You are telling us all this sketchy information about a forbidden girl, and wanting to write some sort of poetic letter to her without alerting her masters.

You have to admit, the whole thing sounds incredibly dodgy. It is up to you as the OP to clarify the story and tell us exactly what is going on.

If you are concerned for this girl's wellbeing and safety, then it is the Gardai you need to be in contact with - not writing victorian love letters.

You can't expect to get informed advice if you are only telling half a story with cherry picked details being dip fed through.

I asked a question about writing a letter. You want to know what happened. What business is that of yours and you are saying "WE" don't know the full details as if you in your horribly negative and suspicious mind speaks for everyone.


Why don't you go and attack someone else if that's the kind of thing you enjoy?

And when did I ever express any concern for a person's safety? And who called them "her masters"? And how did you determine that the Gardai might have anything to do with it? Do the Gardai operate outside of Ireland?

You've got a nasty, mean streak in you.

peckerhead

ShatterAlan wrote: »

I find myself looking at it and saying to myself "god, your handwriting is so bad now after it used to be so neat and flowing." I supposed everyone's penmanship has become bad since all we do is type.

If you first spend about 10-15 minutes warming up, you will probably find that improves. It's lack of habit. Just take your time and 'muscle memory' will kick in.

Dunno why people are so hung up about 'why a letter?' Maybe the OP wants her to have something that she can put away and read in the future? I have letters from years ago that I'm glad I held onto.

tara73

this is an odd opening post. you say you just ask about what to do to improve your handwriting, but give all this other (hints of) information about your sitution with this girl. No wonder people picked up on it!

if it's really just about your handwriting, what else is there to do and to suggest from people here then to practice it until you're happy ?? I don't know if there are any hand writing courses on, google it, and you can practice for a few month and send the letter then!

also, if it's really just about the handwriting, why post in relationship issues? I'm sure there is an artists forum or whatever more suitable for your question.

ILoveYourVibes

Practice some calligraphy??

ShatterAlan

tara73 wrote: »

this is an odd opening post. you say you just ask about what to do to improve your handwriting, but give all this other (hints of) information about your sitution with this girl. No wonder people picked up on it!

if it's really just about your handwriting, what else is there to do and to suggest from people here then to practice it until you're happy ?? I don't know if there are any hand writing courses on, google it, and you can practice for a few month and send the letter then!

also, if it's really just about the handwriting, why post in relationship issues? I'm sure there is an artists forum or whatever more suitable for your question.

I didn't know where else to ask.


I initially posted "a question for women" and it was changed to "a question about handwriting"


I just wantend a woman's thoughts, not a barrage of accusations, questions and insults.

YellowLead

ShatterAlan wrote: »

I didn't know where else to ask.


I initially posted "a question for women" and it was changed to "a question about handwriting"


I just wantend a woman's thoughts, not a barrage of accusations, questions and insults.

Thoughts on what though? Still not clear!

ShatterAlan

YellowLead wrote: »

Thoughts on what though? Still not clear!

A woman's thoughts.


I was just asking if a woman might give me any slight bit of advice....that's all.

TheBoyConor

A woman's thought on what exactly? Handwriting? It seems an odd thing to be asking for women's thoughts exclusively on.

I think the consensus here is that your request is rather vague and confusing.
Are you looking for advice on the technical specifics of handwriting, or on the content of the letter, or on the broader nature of the relationship?
This is, after all, the relationship issues forum.

TheadoreT

Nothing draws a woman from a difficult family and cultural situation like a perfectly rounded "s". OP you have to appreciate this is at best peculiar and asking for a womans perspective like they're from another planet and a hive mind is odd too.

As for the rest, save for very extreme cases if someone wants to be with you they will be and maybe shes using the forbidden excuse as an easy out.

Hannibal_Smith

Mod Note

ShatterAlan, I don't think there is any further advice people can offer you on your handwriting other than whats already been said.

I changed your thread title to make it more inclusive. As per my PM to you, posters are asked to post constructive advice to an OP and that is not dependent on their gender.

I'm going to close the thread there. If you wish it to be reopened for further advice you can do so by responding to my PM and we can go from there.

Thanks to those who offered help and advice.

HS