Going bald at 23

ifeelabreeze

I'm 23.
I shave my head (2mm all over) and I try to keep what measly facial hair I have as stubble, because I can't grow a beard.
I started going bald quite young and it just got to the point where I buzzed it off.

To my surprise most people told me it suits me.
It's definitely a case of 'well it usually looks weird on young lads but for some reason it works with you'.
My sample size is small but my similar age, female coworkers seem to think it suits me, not that I've directly asked them but sure.

I don't know if I like it.
I feel like it's become a defining feature and it's a weird one at my age.
I don't know any lads my age who are as cueball as I am.

I never bothered with treatment/medication, I'm sort of wondering if I should still try it before committing to the chrome dome.
Or even just trying the treatment to try get some sort of a beard going (minoxidil beard - I am not looking for medical advice!).

To be honest I just don't know what to think, and I've had it this way for nearly a year.
I don't think it looks terrible - most people seem to agree, I have gotten the odd Caillou joke and that I look ill, I think that's more a sign that I need to start hitting the gym.

I just feel it's weird for a guy my age to be bald, and that it'll affect my dating life.
It's obviously better than balding but if I could get my curly brown hair back should I not at least try?

I just don't know what to think really.
I'm also just deathly bored so I thought I'd ask ye lot.
Have any of ye gone bald at a relatively young age, how's it been?
I doubt anyone here can help in regards to dating but feel free to chime in.

I'm guessing I'll get a few 'well I'm bald and my missus loves it', or 'my husband is bald I love it', which is great for future reference but I'm 23.
Your bald husband is surrounded by balding, bald or god like heads of divine hair.
I've never met a fella my age who's also bald.
Even mid to late 20s doesn't seem all that common.

Anyway, what do ye think?

punisher5112

You're lucky I was 21

pwurple

Does it matter if it's common? Better to be unique in this world of sameness surely.

Own it, as they say.

There is no point fighting it if you're already losing it so early. I keep mine extremely short as it suits me more that biccing it.

Oink

It’s not going to affect your dating life very much unless you let it. Some women will like you, some won’t.
Being self-conscious about it, lacking self-confidence, obsessing about it, that’s where the issue is going to be if you let it.
You’re bald. Shave your head, move on.

1hnr79jr65

While i know its not the same as natural baldness, ive been shaving my head since i was 19 and tbh it always feels better to me. Being bald isnt bad, i know a few look down on it, but honestly id ignore such ignorant people if they think hair issues are a problem then they have sad lives.

Some of the most famous people in the world are bald, Samuel Jackson, Patrick Steward, Jeff Bezos to name a few. Some benefits include water drying off ur head quicker, stay cooler in summer

dinky earnshaw

I started going bald at 21 aswell and shaved it. It won't hold you back that much. I found at that age a lot of girls my age didn't like it but as you get older that'll change.
It didn't really bother me at the time just accepted it but if you don't like it go get the treatment. Whatever you're happy and confident with do that.

Dtp1979

Isn’t it well known that most women prefer bald men?
Own the look. Hit the gym if you want.

gman2k

Was your father and grandfather the same? If yes, then that's just life.
Embrace it as a feature and an aspect of change.

wildwillow

You are by no means unique.

As a teacher I've seen lots of receeding hairlines in 16 and 17 year old boys.

Your attitude is what's important and you seem to be relaxed about it. Be self assured and confident and lack of hair won't matter.

ManOfMystery

A lot of men will submit to hair loss at some point, for some it will be younger than others unfortunately.

Whilst the advice is usually "shave it and embrace it!" it's a difficult thing to deal with and get your head round (no pun intended). It's great to throw out perfectly chiselled examples of embracing baldness like Jason Statham, but we don't all have that facial structure or look and many come off more like Phil Mitchell.

The way I see it (and I'm receding a bit so have looked at these before), the viable options are:

1) Shave it and embrace it. Requires much more mental and emotional effort but once you do 'embrace it', you're unlikely to ever look back. You have an advantage if people have told you multiple times that you suit it. Confidence is key here, I've a couple of mates who are bald and very outgoing and confident, I don't think anyone ever bats an eyelid at their lack of hair.

2) Go with a Minoxidil/Regaine type regimen to slow the baldness and - possibly - restore some of it. This will mean committing financially to purchasing these treatments and applying them regularly, probably for the rest of your life. Some people see fantastic results, some don't.

3) Consider a hair transplant. They're more affordable now than before and also becoming more normalised; where once they were only used by wealthy people or celebs, now it's more likely to be someone you know. One of my work colleagues had it done and I won't lie, he had fantastic results - much better than I expected. I'd seriously consider it myself down the line. Some people say that if it's relatively normalised now to get boob jobs and lip fillers and so on, why not a hair transplant? I agree, but I wouldn't even use that comparison - there is nothing toxic or alien involved in a hair transplant, you are literally moving your own hair from one part of your head to another. The downside of this is the financial cost initially, and the fact it may need revisited again in future if hair recession continues.

There are other methods out there such as hair-piece/ hair fibers (and some snake-oil methods I'd never advise anyone to consider), but I think the options above are the best 'natural' ones which let you either keep your head bald or keep your own hair. I haven't seen too many wigs on men that look amazing unless they're hideously expensive, and the hair fibers look terrible and are useless in wet weather, high wind, swimming, etc.

tara73

I think you are giving this waaay too much thought.

A good male friend of mine was becoming the bald patch on his head in his twenties. You could feel it was bothering him, but one day he said: And nobody cares but just yourself.

I don't know but this simple statement did it for me and I still have it in the back of my head and tell myself when I think about some physical state or appearance I'm not happy about.
I think it is that simple, we see and care about stuff from ourselves and think others see it and judge us about it but it's actually not the case. People have in general better things or more important things on their plate than caring about other peoples baldness, grey hair or whatever.

And there are always women out there who doesn't like baldness, as there are a lot out there who doesn't care or even like it.

Supercell

Op i started losing my hair pretty much around the same time I stopped growing.
My father and grandfather were bald and I remember my dad teasing me as a kid to enjoy my hair while I still had it!, so in a way it was no surprise and didn't bother me much to be honest.
I just shaved my head every weekend once it became obvious, still do.
Didn't really affect my life at all, I'm married , three kids , house and all that. Only downside I can really report is a colder head on a windy day than most others
Accept it, dont worry about it, its 100% normal, its not going to hold you back in life at all, unless you decide that it will.

punisher5112

Great for swimming, less resistance.

Shaved mine at 21, never grew back so kept it cut with a Philips hair trimmer for years and about 5 or so years ago I said feck that going to use an actual blade, smooth, no catching in t shirts etc and again super smooth.

YellowLead

Own it, and it seems like you do! It’s off putting when guys are really receding and trying to comb over etc to hide it, it can be aging, but shaved heads are very sexy to a lot of women including me. If people have said it suits you then there’s your answer.

pgj2015

shave it and forget about it. I have heard joe rogan talk about his hair transplant, he said he regrets getting it and now he has the head shaved but he has a big scar on the back of his head from the transplant.

The point about you needing to hit the gym I disagree with. I have never been in a gym in my life, im slim, play football and run but gyms don't appeal to me. I don't have a six pack and am slim as I said but I have never had a problem attracting women. none of them ever said they would prefer me to have a gym body. I know I am slim and people have said it to me but not in an insulting way, even if they did, I wouldnt care, im happy the way I am.

Neil strauss is bald. just saying.

ifeelabreeze

punisher5112 wrote: »

You're lucky I was 21

Well I started at 19, it just got to the point of no return at 22, I shaved at 23.

ifeelabreeze

pwurple wrote: »

Does it matter if it's common? Better to be unique in this world of sameness surely.

Own it, as they say.

I'd rather be unique as the guy with the Ferrari rather than as the guy who's bald at 23.

In all seriousness I don't see it as a positive, I don't wake up feeling glad that I'm bald unlike every other 20 something with a quiff and a combover.

ifeelabreeze

Oink wrote: »

It’s not going to affect your dating life very much unless you let it. Some women will like you, some won’t.
Being self-conscious about it, lacking self-confidence, obsessing about it, that’s where the issue is going to be if you let it.
You’re bald. Shave your head, move on.

I think that advice usually rings through more so for older men.
When it's far more common to see a balding head, a bald head isn't a bad sight.

But when virtually every guy around you has a full head of hair, it stands out, and not necessarily as a positive.

I never bothered with treatment or medication, and I'm thinking I might have passed it off before seriously considering it..

ifeelabreeze

Dtp1979 wrote: »

Isn’t it well known that most women prefer bald men?
Own the look. Hit the gym if you want.

I think it's more so most women (in there 30s and up) prefer bald over balding.

Mjolnir

I was going bald around 21, though I'd gone to phases of having it super tight as a kid or shaved since 18.
It never once effected dating negatively, women respond to confidence, if you're bald and own it you're half way there.

I get patchy on the cheeks and considered that but don't like the idea of always having to use it, if you've no problem buying it every month go for it just watch the side effects.

I think going to the gym is a great idea. It'll give you mental/physical health benefits, and it'll make you feel more confident when you put on a bit of mass.

If you do decide to attend a gym, ask for an appointment with a fitness instructor who'll set you on the right path.

As for your hair, it's a bummer that you're losing it but what can you do? As for facial hair, I didn't get my full growth until my mid to late 20s so you'll probably get a fuller beard soon.

Definitely try the fitness idea though.

tara73

where's this thing with the gym coming from? what has going to the gym got to do with becoming bald?

OP, as it's bothering you that much and obviously effecting your self esteem, the advice is going to speak to a councillor to build up your self worth.

building up muscle mass is not solving this psychological problem.

ifeelabreeze

tara73 wrote: »

where's this thing with the gym coming from? what has going to the gym got to do with becoming bald?

OP, as it's bothering you that much and obviously effecting your self esteem, the advice is going to speak to a councillor to build up your self worth.

building up muscle mass is not solving this psychological problem.

I think the gym advice is well placed.
I think working out/exercise can work wonders on your mental health.

It's really not that big of an issue for me, it not like it keep me up at night.
In reality it's just something that crops up every now and then.

I've been speaking to someone for the past number of weeks, we're now looking at ending the sessions because there's no real need.

My issue is merely I'm going bald at a young age, I'm lucky enough that people seem to think it looks good on me.
But I just feel like I wrote off fixing the issue too soon, I jumped to the clippers without seriously considering let along trying to fix the issue at hand - hair loss.

Being bald is 100 times better than going bald, shaving my head has worked wonders for my mental health.
If there was no cure, no remediation, no hair loss treatment/prevention available I'd count my lucky stars because I at least look alright with a shaved head.
I just think I'd rather have hair and I never even tried to stop it receding.

Sonic the Shaghog

I shave mine as bald too, luckily have the head shape and can grow a full beard so keep a few days stubble

Stay away from the pills, can lead to awful side effects, lots of lads lost the ability to get an erection and never fully recovered even after giving up the pills. Imagine gaining a head of hair back to get a woman and you can't even get it up anymore

I'd give the over the counter regaine a go for the face alright should encourage the beard growth worked for lots lads

hawley

Have you considered getting a wig? I've been wearing one for a few years. Some people did make comments about it at the start, but haven't had anything said to me recently. The quality of them is improving the whole time, lovely and comfortable. It takes a bit of getting used to but I just couldn't cope without hair.
http://www.wigworld.ie/mens-wigs/

tara73

tara73 wrote: »

where's this thing with the gym coming from? what has going to the gym got to do with becoming bald?

OP, as it's bothering you that much and obviously effecting your self esteem, the advice is going to speak to a councillor to build up your self worth.

building up muscle mass is not solving this psychological problem.

Uh, maybe because the op mentioned it... in his op.

If you don't think exercise is good for psychology, then I don't know what to tell ya...

Tork

Don't try to grow a beard just because you're going bald. It isn't a look that suits everyone and it can look like they are overcompensating.

stateofflux

Caring what other people think will affect your dating life way more than baldness.
Unless your head is shaped like a pyramid you will be fine. A lot of women like it also.

kerryjack

Number 1 all over, head and beard, I dont shave anymore kind of rough look alright especially when your 6,3 and 18 stone, chin up, chest out, work hard, buy yourself some nice clothes, a nice car, a nice house and you won't have any problem with the women believe me.

Wanderer78

Relative was in his late teens when his started going, upset him greatly, eventually shaved it all off, he now loves it and looks great. Tough thing to accept, I'd seriously struggle with it as I've long hair

punisher5112

I honestly didn't give a sh1t and couldn't honestly give a sh1t what others think......

Just whatever you do and this is to anyone don't please don't do the comb over, it just looks pure ridiculous.

Look some go patchy, lose all on the top, sides stay growing etc etc.....

Some lads pass off the growth on back and sides but doesn't suit all.

To be honest shave it all off and after a few months you really won't notice or shouldn't as unfortunately it's not coming back ...

I get it, it can be upsetting and feel weird and be a self conscious thing but seriously hair doesn't define who you are or lack of.

tara73

ifeelabreeze wrote: »

I think the gym advice is well placed.
I think working out/exercise can work wonders on your mental health.

I never questioned that exercise is good for mental health, don't know where you are getting that from. But you say you have no mental health issues ??

And there is still no connection between getting bald and going to the gym/putting on muscle mass.

See, I don't know what your question is here, or what advice you want (want to hear to be honest). In one sentence you say the baldness is no big issue for you, in your opening post you even say you post here because you feel bored, then you say going to the gym is well placed here because it's good for mental health. So now you seemingly admit having mental health problems or what is it?
Then you have all the answers for yourself anyway.

I think your post is better suited in the gentlemens' lounge or whatever is there for mens' problems as you only seem to want to discuss it or whatever it is you want, not much else posters can say than there's nothing you can do about it as you can read in almost every post.

dubstepper

hawley wrote: »

Have you considered getting a wig?
......
http://www.wigworld.ie/mens-wigs/

Don't buy a roof rack.

benny79

I started going bald at 30. It effected me greatly. Fought it for years with Rogaine which does work but you have to constantly use it. By the way its the only proven medicine that is actually proven to halt hair loss but at €40 a pop its adds up on a monthly basis. I always taught about a hair transplant looked at 100's of places in Turkey sent loads of emails, went onto hair loss forums etc but I was always to scared to take the plunge. Shaved my head a few years ago and hated it even though people said it suited me! I hated looking at photos of me in them. Or people taking photos of me.

After a lot of research I hit the big 40 2 years ago and went to Poland and got a hair transplant 2000 grafts. Best thing I ever done totally painless and most the stigma is bull! No medication after expect for a few painkillers for a few days.. wish I had done it sooner instead of wasting €100's on rogaine. Only thing is I need a top up and was told this from the start and as people say on most HT forums you do need at least 2 hits. one to cover area and second one for density it depends on your results from first HT which take about a year. So Covid has delayed it somewhat.. But I will go back 100%.

The most important thing is I done it for me and me only. Life is short and you would be surprised how many people have it done these days!

freshpopcorn

They are plenty of options there for you OP.
I'm in a different position to you. I've think curly hair and it looks awful. So, I just buzz it off.
I have had friends tough who started panicking over loosing there hair and it was very minimal and they got themselves all worked up about it and they weren't really balding.
I'd rule out the wig suggestion tough.
I'd be open to the transplant route but the fella's I know who've got it done were generally older and they looked sort of silly.

ifeelabreeze

benny79 wrote: »

I started going bald at 30. It effected me greatly. Fought it for years with Rogaine which does work but you have to constantly use it. By the way its the only proven medicine that is actually proven to halt hair loss but at €40 a pop its adds up on a monthly basis. I always taught about a hair transplant looked at 100's of places in Turkey sent loads of emails, went onto hair loss forums etc but I was always to scared to take the plunge. Shaved my head a few years ago and hated it even though people said it suited me! I hated looking at photos of me in them. Or people taking photos of me.

After a lot of research I hit the big 40 2 years ago and went to Poland and got a hair transplant 2000 grafts. Best thing I ever done totally painless and most the stigma is bull! No medication after expect for a few painkillers for a few days.. wish I had done it sooner instead of wasting €100's on rogaine. Only thing is I need a top up and was told this from the start and as people say on most HT forums you do need at least 2 hits. one to cover area and second one for density it depends on your results from first HT which take about a year. So Covid has delayed it somewhat.. But I will go back 100%.

The most important thing is I done it for me and me only. Life is short and you would be surprised how many people have it done these days!

Thank you that was very insightful.

I've been thinking of it a little more and that's lead me to ordering Minoxidil online.
I'm in two minds whether to just try and flesh out a proper beard or use it on my head.
So it comes down to - bald with a beard, or a somewhat reasonable head of hair, and I'm leaning towards hair.

I'm just hoping it's not too far gone.
It's definitely going back at the temples, but it's more rounded than widows peak so I don't mind it as much, it's just the density on top and the bald spot at the crown.

I think I'll get on the rogaine, keep it buzzed for awhile and if I see results in the next 6 months to a year I'll grow it out.

I definitely fell into the 'just shave your head bro' camp.
It's fine, and I'm pleasantly surprised by the compliments but I can't help feeling like it's still not as good as having hair.

So if the rogaine/minoxidil has any success in growing back my bald spot (which I can still feel hairs on), and thickening out the top of my head as a whole, I'll be happy.
I might consider a hair transplant down the line, depending on how this works out.

I'm also somewhat weary of finasteride and the side affects, I've heard some horror stories but I've also heard they're no more likely than the side affects from panadol.

JJayoo

Get a tan, everything looks better with a tan

ifeelabreeze

JJayoo wrote: »

Get a tan, everything looks better with a tan

I am pasty white.
Not going to lie I've always felt better coming home from holidays with a tan

TheadoreT

I think acceptance of this is far more important than trying to paper over the cracks so to speak. I'd imagine your biggest insecurity here is whether it may put off potential partners but confidence and personality is really the key attributes. If you're insecure about this on dates for example, that will come across and the insecurity will be the off putting thing, not the baldness.

I'd say you're perhaps better investing your time and energy in working on your confidence, maybe attend some improv classes, learn to truly not seek validation in yourself through physical appearance. Work on the things you can control and accept those things you cannot.

benny79

Don't take finasteride what ever you do! One of the reasons it took me so long in getting a HT cause I taught you had to take that. One thing I will say about rogaine is, it will take a couple of months for you to see results. Plus you have to keep taking it. I was on and off with it for a few years that the last time I didnt notice anything probably let it go to bad so bit the bullet and got a HT.

Pyr0

My recommendation is to own it. I starting balding at about 17/18.

You'll be constantly trying to keep it as nature takes its course, sinking more and more money and most importantly your confidence into.

Normal things become real "dangers" for your confidence. Is it windy? Better wear a hat so no one will see my balding spots. Taking a picture under a light? I'll move so my bald spots don't shine through. As you talk to someone you'll be thinking "Can they see? Are they looking right now? I think I just caught them looking"

Sounds pretty extreme but this is what went through my head nearly all of the time until I finally shaved it tight and now I couldn't care less and I've never been more confident.

People can see extreme insecurity very easily, it's nearly impossible to hide.

Also, like everything, some women love it and some don't, that's just life.

TheBoyConor

I am 34. I have had thinning hair on top for about 5 years now. I have been on a topical finasteride and minoxidil treatment for 4 years. Applied twice daily. It has worked very well and I haven't had any side effects. It seems to be a bit of a lottery whether you have side effects or not. Some do some don't.

I have stopped using it a few times over the years and for a few months at a time due to running out or just falling out of the routine. After a few weeks the top of my head tends to get a bit itchy and over the following few months there is a general thinning. I start using again and there is a noticable improvment again after 3 or 4 months.

The important thing here is that I am doing it for myself. Not for any woman, or anyone else. For me. Because I like having full head of hair and it is good and dark and looks well when it is looked after.

I have at times shaved my head even while taking the topical mediction. I shaved last year for the covid because i couldn't get a proper haircut. I also shaved it all off again a few weeks ago, again, for lack of barbers. I am still using the medication and it is growing back strong. I like the look of shaved too. I like a bit of both.

Just my experience.

TheBoyConor

JJayoo wrote: »

Get a tan, everything looks better with a tan

Would you like carcinoma or melanoma with that?

ifeelabreeze

TheadoreT wrote: »

I think acceptance of this is far more important than trying to paper over the cracks so to speak. I'd imagine your biggest insecurity here is whether it may put off potential partners but confidence and personality is really the key attributes. If you're insecure about this on dates for example, that will come across and the insecurity will be the off putting thing, not the baldness.

I'd say you're perhaps better investing your time and energy in working on your confidence, maybe attend some improv classes, learn to truly not seek validation in yourself through physical appearance. Work on the things you can control and accept those things you cannot.

Thanks,

I knew it would come across as though this is a serious issue thats been plaguing every aspect of my life in reality - it's not that bad.

When I was going bald it was a real issue.
I never/still don't wear hats, but I'd fix my hair constantly, I'd try to avoid standing under lights.
I religiously got my hair cut, and I got it cut short, if I let it grow out at all the crown became obviously thin, I could at least pass it off with short hair.
Then barbers shut down and I shaved my head, I'd rather look stupid bald than stupid balding - Thankfully I didn't look all that stupid.

I got some funny comments, but they were all lighthearted, my uncle said something to the affect of 'that's it shave it off before this (pointing at his bald head) creeps up on ya!'
I got told I looked like my cousin who shaves his head, he died a few years back so it took awhile for my Aunt to get used to, she still says it any time she sees me.
Everyones been very positive with it, beyond some Nazi comments.
Even fellas who I wouldn't consider friends all had good things to say.
Girls were the same, I've gotten a few 'why'd you shave it you'd such lovely hair', or I've shown them me with a full head of hair and they've genuinely started shouting at me for shaving it.

Overall it's been fine - Bald doesn't look terrible on me.
That being said, I still feel a little weird being the young bald guy.
I've yet to meet another fella who's my age with a shaved head.

If I could get a full head of hair again I'd jump at the opportunity.
I don't know how I feel about Finasteride, but if Minoxidil worked for a few years I'd consider it money well spent.
But there's no guarantee it'll have the affect I'm hoping for, I don't think I am but there's a chance it's already too far gone, I'd be happy with a thick head of hair, no balding at the crown and my receding hairline.

I'm also thinking of using the Minoxidil to help grow a beard, I've heard it works wonders, and you don't need to continuously take it after/if the hairs grow in.
So I'm seriously considering just doing that and keeping the head shaved.
I mean I've already bought the stuff I'm going to use it either for my head or beard.

I haven't voiced this to anyone, I simply mentioned to my father that I was buying it.
I don't think anyone sees me as being insecure over my lack of hair.
Most girls assume I shave it because I like how it looks, some have asked if I'm even going bald.
I portray myself as someone with some confidence, or more so someone who hasn't let hair loss dictate his level of self worth.

I'm fine with bald and no beard, I'd like a beard, I'd also like a head of hair.
I've owned what I've got but if there's a chance for more I'll take it.

Hannibal_Smith

Mod Note

Hi OP,

It seems you have decided on a path for dealing with your issue and the thread has run its course advice wise.

Before closing it I was going to ask if you wanted me to move the thread over to the Gentlemen's Club, but I see you've already started a thread there.

In the circumstances, I'll close the thread here. Best of luck with it and thanks to all who offered help and advice.

Thanks

HS