bad appearance, negatively treated

2lazytogetup

just wondering if this day in age, where we dont have gentlemen wearing suits and haircuts that you can set your watch to, do people still judge on appearance.

i havent been able to get a haircut and am dressing more casually that i am used to as no office to go to everyday.

But i was in a shopping centre and was talked down to, a few incidents with people. if i was dressed alot better, i expected i would have got more respect, even subconsciously

Padre_Pio

2lazytogetup wrote: »

just wondering if this day in age, where we dont have gentlemen wearing suits and haircuts that you can set your watch to, do people still judge on appearance.

i havent been able to get a haircut and am dressing more casually that i am used to as no office to go to everyday.

But i was in a shopping centre and was talked down to, a few incidents with people. if i was dressed alot better, i expected i would have got more respect, even subconsciously

Of course.
I thought that would have been obvious.

If people weren't judged on appearance then Tinder wouldn't be a thing.

accensi0n

Username checks out.

Feisar

Clothes don't make the man. Having said that suited and booted generally generates a better reaction.

lost one

2lazytogetup wrote: »

just wondering if this day in age, where we dont have gentlemen wearing suits and haircuts that you can set your watch to, do people still judge on appearance.

i havent been able to get a haircut and am dressing more casually that i am used to as no office to go to everyday.

But i was in a shopping centre and was talked down to, a few incidents with people. if i was dressed alot better, i expected i would have got more respect, even subconsciously

Did random people just give out to you that you were in a way ? Or was it security guards?

2lazytogetup

lost one wrote: »

Did random people just give out to you that you were in a way ? Or was it security guards?

in their way a couple of times. i suppose if i was dressed better, i would look more important and people would think twice before barging through or ordering me out of their way.

suppose lesson learnt. we can dress down cause we might be working from home, and cant get a haircut. but standards still need to be maintained.

thanks all.

_Brian

Humans are fickle creatures, everyone judges on appearance, some can mentally overcome this but they still judge first.

Not giving a shiit what people think is the key.

2lazytogetup

_Brian wrote: »

Humans are fickle creatures, everyone judges on appearance, some can mentally overcome this but they still judge first.

Not giving a shiit what people think is the key.

Thanks Brian, well said.

Irish_wolf

As a long haired beardy type I can tell you the difference in the way I'm treated when I'm scruffy and when I'm well groomed is immense. I presume it's because when Im unkempt and due a trim people are wary as there's a chance I'm homeless or something and I'll be served quickly and curtly, but if I have my hair washed or tied up nice and my beard neat and trimmed even if I had old clothes on people will just assume I'm some lefty hipster who possibly works in IT/media and will try to upsell me or talk about their latest craft brew/coffee roast.

So yes you are constantly judged on your appearance by everyone. This is a natural human reaction that people do subconciously to assess threats and/or potential mates.

sheesh

Yeah I remember something like that happening to me and feeling very wronged but the I realised I was wearing really ****e clothes. they are making a judgement on you based on the the only info available and going with that. What you wear might not reflect your status or level of honesty but that is how people work. With that in mind dress how you wish to be percieved and don't expect strangers to automatically know you are a nice person. grooming is very important too. you can go casual but it has to be new branded casual.

(I cannot believe I'm giving fashion advice to someone. I'm wearing a 20 year old fleece bought in Dunnes)

dxhound2005

2lazytogetup wrote: »

just wondering if this day in age, where we dont have gentlemen wearing suits and haircuts that you can set your watch to, do people still judge on appearance.

i havent been able to get a haircut and am dressing more casually that i am used to as no office to go to everyday.

But i was in a shopping centre and was talked down to, a few incidents with people. if i was dressed alot better, i expected i would have got more respect, even subconsciously

Some aristocratic and bohemian types go round looking like that all the time. But when they speak in a refined and authoritative way, they command respect. You could put on an accent to make them stop talking down to you.

It's sad that people would treat anyone differently on the basis that they might appear to be less well groomed/dressed - is there a rule that says you only have to be nice to people who you perceive to be on a similar or higher social class??!!!
*shakes head in disbelief*
Can we not just treat everyone the same basic manners and respect?

...I mean, yes, we all try to analyse people base don how they look/dress, but to use that as the basis to talk down to someone is totally not acceptable in any way.

There's no reason whatsoever to talk down to anyone.

Stevieluvsye

Agree that nobody should be talked down to but anyone who walks around looking like a scruffy c**t should cop on and have a bit of self respect and smarten themselves up.

Gregor Samsa

I used to have dreadlocks down to my arse. Scruffy beard. Dressed like a crusty.

I was never talked down to in a shopping centre. I actually had a few occasions where auld wans came up to me and asked “do you work here?” when they were looking for something in supermarkets.

I worked as a web developer. Once took part in a sales pitch in the Department Of The Taoiseach in Government Buildings, where I had to give a presentation to a load of Civil Servants. The Project Manager from our company specifically told me not to wear a suit to that, although I did wear a shirt. Built websites, intranets and had client meetings for the The Department Of Agriculture and loads of major companies (Irish and International) and never dressed up.

Never even had hassle getting into pubs or clubs either. Cleaned up about 15 years ago, but still wear jeans, T-shirt and runners daily basis (even in work). Never felt like anyone treated me with any disrespect.

Jim2007

2lazytogetup wrote: »

just wondering if this day in age, where we dont have gentlemen wearing suits and haircuts that you can set your watch to, do people still judge on appearance.

i havent been able to get a haircut and am dressing more casually that i am used to as no office to go to everyday.

But i was in a shopping centre and was talked down to, a few incidents with people. if i was dressed alot better, i expected i would have got more respect, even subconsciously

People will always make judgements about you, it's life. But it can be a lot of fun... I used to work in IT and my usual uniform was: polo shirt, jeans and flip flops:


- We had a new employee at one stage who walked up to me and handed me his mail - "Please post those.". I looked at the mail and at him and then asked: "Do you normally ask your supervisor's boss to post your mail?"


- I once spent an hour listening to a finance guy telling us (3) how to unravel derivatives. Towards the end of the meeting, he suggested swapping business cards. When he looked at ours he sat bolt upright in the chair - our qualifications told him that we knew a lot more than he did about the topic.


- My Swiss parent-in-laws arrived late at a hotel in the Italian speaking part of Switzerland and were told the hotel had only one small room left. These were in the day where you still needed to enter passport details when registering. And as they did so the owner noticed that they were Swiss: Ah you're Swiss, I though you were Germans! Well we have this other much nicer room....


- On a train trip, my friend from New York was congratulated on his command of the English language by a Texan.


People are always making assumptions, often wrongly, but the great thing about retirement is that you don't have to give a f$%k and you can get away with a lot, just by pretending to be a doddering old fool :rolleyes:

topper75

Jim2007 wrote: »

... you can get away with a lot, just by pretending to be a doddering old fool :rolleyes:

Hey man - don't go spreading that trick around. Can't have everyone using it.

KaneToad

You will always be judged based on your appearance, if that's all that the "judger" has to go on.

If you interact with them and they still judge you based on appearance...that's a failing on their part.

Although I am a big hypocrite - I judge anyone with any type of tattoo a certain way.

LuasSimon

Wouldnt bother me how anyone dresses as long as their clean!

Your Face

I used to manage a few sites. I always wore a suit.
Then the company I worked for brought in uniforms for managers.
Basically drab navy polo shirts with the company logo on the front.
There was definitely a change in how people looked at me after the change in clothes.

Stevieluvsye

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

Agree that nobody should be talked down to but anyone who walks around looking like a scruffy c**t should cop on and have a bit of self respect and smarten themselves up.

Why?

Does someone else's appearance really affect you?

Genuinely curious.

biko

Be well-spoken.
Stand up straight.
Take your hands out of your pockets.
Look people in the eye.
Smell nice.

Then you will be treated better.

Stevieluvsye

Deleted User wrote: »

Why?

Does someone else's appearance really affect you?

Genuinely curious.

Seriously?

Stevieluvsye

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

Seriously?

Yes. Seriously.

If other people around you are not dressed and groomed to your standard, how does that affect you?

Padre_Pio

Deleted User wrote: »

Why?

Does someone else's appearance really affect you?

Genuinely curious.

Course it does.
If someone comes in to an interview and they're smelly and unkempt, it's likely they won't get hired.

If someone tried to chat you up and she looks homeless, you're prob not going to have any interest.

Likewise, security will watch someone wearing a tracksuit more than someone wearing a business suit.

zanador

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Why?

Does someone else's appearance really affect you?

Genuinely curious.

This. Smell can be a bit overpowering but I really don't care how someone looks, I mean I quite like my Dr to be well put together etc.. but in general who cares? I actually don't notice, and am always being given out to for not noticing haircuts or whatever. One memorable occasion was a friend died her hair pillar box red and I didnt notice

Op, when I've to go out looking like a scruff I used to pretend I've just been camping and that's why I look awful and if you walk with your head high and confidence people will get out of your way no matter what. Now I just don't care and if people judge rats their own ****

Melanchthon

[Deleted User] wrote: »

It's sad that people would treat anyone differently on the basis that they might appear to be less well groomed/dressed - is there a rule that says you only have to be nice to people who you perceive to be on a similar or higher social class??!!!
*shakes head in disbelief*
Can we not just treat everyone the same basic manners and respect?

It's not only that way around though, in terms of better dressed means better treated it's context specific, if you look like your coming of the building sites you'l definitely get treated with more respect/time than if your in chino's and loafers or wearing lumberjack shirts without a speck of dirt or dust on you.

Stevieluvsye

Deleted User wrote: »

Yes. Seriously.

If other people around you are not dressed and groomed to your standard, how does that affect you?

It doesn't affect me.

But seriously, do you think people who walk around with dirty clothes, unwashed, smelling of BO in this day is acceptable?

SMH

Padre_Pio

Padre_Pio wrote: »

Course it does.
If someone comes in to an interview and they're smelly and unkempt, it's likely they won't get hired.

If someone tried to chat you up and she looks homeless, you're prob not going to have any interest.

Likewise, security will watch someone wearing a tracksuit more than someone wearing a business suit.

...but my question is how does it affect YOU?
And that's a question for the people who seem to be personally offended by 'untidy' people.


Smelly is a separate issue - that explains itself.


And, yes, if you find someone unattractive because of their appearance, that's fine, obviously - you don't have to sleep with them. But not everyone likes their respective partners to be excessively groomed, either - each to their own.


My point is: for the majority of people walking around, minding their own business; can't they look how they like, if they are comfortable and happy - once they are wearing something.

Immortal Starlight

Every girls crazy bout a sharp dressed man:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wRHBLwpASw

Stihl waters

LuasSimon wrote: »

Wouldnt bother me how anyone dresses as long as their clean!

What about tradesmen, concreters, plasterers, plumbers, farmers, if you saw them in a shop with work soiled clothing would it bother you?

Leg End Reject

[Deleted User] wrote: »

...but my question is how does it affect YOU?
And that's a question for the people who seem to be personally offended by 'untidy' people.


Smelly is a separate issue - that explains itself.


And, yes, if you find someone unattractive because of their appearance, that's fine, obviously - you don't have to sleep with them. But not everyone likes their respective partners to be excessively groomed, either - each to their own.


My point is: for the majority of people walking around, minding their own business; can't they look how they like, if they are comfortable and happy - once they are wearing something.

It doesn't personally affect us, but we all judge people based on first impressions. How they look is a huge part of that.

That's not to say it's right, but it's part of being human.

Stevieluvsye

Deleted User wrote: »

Yes. Seriously.

If other people around you are not dressed and groomed to your standard, how does that affect you?

Would you think it acceptable a child being sent to school looking scruffy? Just curious

Melanchthon

Melanchthon wrote: »

.........if you look like your coming of the building sites you'l definitely get treated with more respect/time than if your in chino's and loafers.........................

In what circles may I ask?
The builders providers?

zanador

Leg End Reject wrote: »

It doesn't personally affect us, but we all judge people based on first impressions. How they look is a huge part of that.

That's not to say it's right, but it's part of being human.

Not ALL of us, but I'd agree that most do. I missed that gene somehow, it's not like I'm noble or anything

I also can't tell from photos who someone is. Like if I met you in person a few times I wouldn't be able to pick you out of a photo - only if I knew you well, or the photo was straight on.

Stevieluvsye

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

Would you think it acceptable a child being sent to school looking scruffy? Just curious

Children will naturally tend to being scruffy (in general) and once they are happy and well fed and generally look like they are being cared for, then a bit of scruffiness would not bother me.

I think this may be one of those things that are to do with how you are brought up - some people have it hammered into them that "cleanliness is next to godliness", but we were encouraged to not get hung up on appearances - which I am glad for.

Stevieluvsye

Deleted User wrote: »

Children will naturally tend to being scruffy (in general) and once they are happy and well fed and generally look like they are being cared for, then a bit of scruffiness would not bother me.

OK, Let me re-phrase the question.

Do you think it acceptable if a child was sent to school unwashed and with a dirty uniform on?

Maybe have a think about the question before you answer it

Sardonicat

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

OK, Let me re-phrase the question.

Do you think it acceptable if a child was sent to school unwashed and with a dirty uniform on?

Maybe have a think about the question before you answer it

Unwashed and dirty is a long way from scruffy. The OP is talking about dressing very casually, not having trimmed hair, not being in smart clothes.The only person equating that with smelly and dirty here is you.

Stevieluvsye

Sardonicat wrote: »

Unwashed and dirty is a long way from scruffy. The OP is talking about dressing very casually, not having trimmed hair, not being in smart clothes.The only person equating that with smelly and dirty here is you.

Wasn't asking you

Leg End Reject

Sardonicat wrote: »

Unwashed and dirty is a long way from scruffy. The OP is talking about dressing very casually, not having trimmed hair, not being in smart clothes.The only person equating that with smelly and dirty here is you.

Yep, there's a hell of a lot of middle ground between the two.

Sardonicat

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

Wasn't asking you

So? You're misrepresenting the OP. I don't require your permission to point that out.

Stevieluvsye

Sardonicat wrote: »

So? You're misrepresenting the OP. I don't require your permission to point that out.

I'm asking a simple qustion. It's not like other threads here don't digress from what the OP was

MetzgerMeister

If people are judging based on how we dress, how does the pj's, dressing gown and slipper brigade feel when they frequent their local Spar?

My opinion is they don't give a sh!t therefore you shouldn't either OP.

Padre_Pio

Deleted User wrote: »

...but my question is how does it affect YOU?
And that's a question for the people who seem to be personally offended by 'untidy' people.

Completely situation dependent.

If I don't know you, then I don't care.

If dressing well is not required, then I don't care. I

f dressing well is required, then it would affect me and I may pass judgement.

Stevieluvsye

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

OK, Let me re-phrase the question.

Do you think it acceptable if a child was sent to school unwashed and with a dirty uniform on?

Maybe have a think about the question before you answer it

It think everyone had differing standards and I think most parents send their kids to school looking pretty tidy, bar the odd exception - but I wouldn't judge anyone for it ;


One of my children couldn't keep her uniform clean if her life depended on it - spilling things and getting ink on her cuffs, etc. But that's just who she is - we (me and her) did our best in terms of maintaining the uniform, as much as was reasonable. This meant trying to keep it as clean as possible, without having to buy new one every few weeks (really, she was that bad ).
My niece is naturally tidy and likes things to be neat, so will be very careful with her uniform.



Life's too short to be getting stressed about keeping your clothes pristine, though.



In terms of hair - some people have difficult/unruly hair - fine if you want to spend ages using products, etc. every morning, but again, not for me.

Stevieluvsye

Deleted User wrote: »

It think everyone had differing standards and I think most parents send their kids to school looking pretty tidy, bar the odd exception - but I wouldn't judge anyone for it ;


One of my children couldn't keep her uniform clean if her life depended on it - spilling things and getting ink on her cuffs, etc. But that's just who she is - we (me and her) did our best in terms of maintaining the uniform, as much as was reasonable. This meant trying to keep it as clean as possible, without having to buy new one every few weeks (really, she was that bad ).
My niece is naturally tidy and likes things to be neat, so will be very careful with her uniform.



Life's too short to be getting stressed about keeping your clothes pristine, though.



In terms of hair - some people have difficult/unruly hair - fine if you want to spend ages using products, etc. every morning, but again, not for me.

I understand what you are saying in this post and it is slightly different to what i was maybe trying to get at. Let's say a child was being sent to school regularly looking unwashed, uniform not washed then it is an untirely different matter where authorities will become involved. And trust me they do become involved

Zubeneschamali

I do judge people on their appearance. Anyone who puts on a suit to go to the pub is a w@nker.

Stevieluvsye

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

I understand what you are saying in this post and it is slightly different to what i was maybe trying to get at. Let's say a child was being sent to school regularly looking unwashed, uniform not washed then it is an untirely different matter where authorities will become involved. And trust me they do become involved

Well, yes, that's a totally different matter - when it's an obvious case of ongoing neglect, then that's the one situation where you have to take notice and take action.

zanador

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

Wasn't asking you

You weren't asking me either but I worry about my own child and only someone else's if they are actually neglected as in filthy, nits, unfed etc.

Couldn't care less if children were scruffy as the poster you're asking said. It's a weird judgement imo

Church on Tuesday

First impressions are vital, you have to give the best first impression of yourself and that then sets the tone, like it or no we judge people based on appearance first.

I find it best to be well dressed and groomed at all times.