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Non-antagonistic way to get dog from neighbour??

  • 17-11-2020 1:15pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 248 ✭✭


    Hi, just wondering if anyone has had any success with this? I live in a very rural area. Old-fashioned ideas about 'pets'. My neighbour was given a dog by her adult children. The dog is now chained to a post for the day, all weather, no water, shelter etc. Put into a crate, outdoors for the night.
    I've called and talked to her but she doesn't want to give the dog up as her kids gave him to her. She does not see this as I do and I'm unsure how to handle it as we're coming from such different sides.

    This is a lovely neighbour and I don't want to fall out with her (plus it won't get the dog out of there).
    Someone out there must have had success in this area?


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭LineConsole


    You could offer to take the dog, that would mean she can still see and visit it. If that doesn't work report to the ISPCA for the sake of the dogs welfare. I'd rather risk antogonising some auld wan who's abusing a dog then to stand idly by and watch the dog suffer. Although if they did impound the dog, and no one adopts it that could mean worse for the dog. You'd nearly want to have a volunteer ready to adopt before reporting it just in case, last thing you want is to get it put down.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 Metalrobe


    Even if you can offer to take the dog for a few hours in the evening she may begin to see how much better off the dog is with you. If the dog was brought for a walk and was with you and your family for the evening it would be great. She may soften then and start letting you keep it overnight. Main thing is it's getting social interaction indoors for a few hours everyday, a walk and a clean, dry and comfortable place to sleep at night.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭LineConsole


    Metalrobe wrote: »
    Even if you can offer to take the dog for a few hours in the evening she may begin to see how much better off the dog is with you. If the dog was brought for a walk and was with you and your family for the evening it would be great. She may soften then and start letting you keep it overnight. Main thing is it's getting social interaction indoors for a few hours everyday, a walk and a clean, dry and comfortable place to sleep at night.


    That's a great idea!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,837 ✭✭✭✭AMKC
    Ms


    Remind her that dogs have feeling too, that need to be dry and warm and that they need love and exercise and not leaving any water out for it or having shelter for the dog is disgraceful. She should at least buy the dog a good doghouse or even a small timber shed.
    It sounds like she never wanted
    A dog but just does not want to give it away because of who gave it to her which is stupid. Some people are just not meant to have dogs.

    Live long and Prosper

    Peace and long life.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 248 ✭✭selfbuildache


    You could offer to take the dog, that would mean she can still see and visit it. If that doesn't work report to the ISPCA for the sake of the dogs welfare. I'd rather risk antogonising some auld wan who's abusing a dog then to stand idly by and watch the dog suffer. Although if they did impound the dog, and no one adopts it that could mean worse for the dog. You'd nearly want to have a volunteer ready to adopt before reporting it just in case, last thing you want is to get it put down.

    I've offered to take the dog and she knows I can get it to a safe place but she's not willing to give him up.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 248 ✭✭selfbuildache


    Metalrobe wrote: »
    Even if you can offer to take the dog for a few hours in the evening she may begin to see how much better off the dog is with you. If the dog was brought for a walk and was with you and your family for the evening it would be great. She may soften then and start letting you keep it overnight. Main thing is it's getting social interaction indoors for a few hours everyday, a walk and a clean, dry and comfortable place to sleep at night.

    Thank you. That's a great idea (and so simple of course). I'll actually get my kids to call with our own dog. She's used to seeing them out walking our own. The dog used to be free to come with us (which he did) and has only been chained the last few months. (He was chasing cars.)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭LineConsole


    I've offered to take the dog and she knows I can get it to a safe place but she's not willing to give him up.


    If you are rural and have big gardens, perhaps you could suggest a Dog Pen to her? That way the dog can roam around a bit.As above you could offer to walk it.



    If she's not going to budge, and not going to let you take the dog for walks and give it water then I'd be calling the ISPCA. Cruelty to animals is unacceptable and needs to be called out.



    They might just come out and have a word with her, and that might be enough to scare her into action.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 248 ✭✭selfbuildache


    AMKC wrote: »
    Remind her that dogs have feeling too, that need to be dry and warm and that they need love and exercise and not leaving any water out for it or having shelter for the dog is disgraceful. She should at least buy the dog a good doghouse or even a small timber shed.
    It sounds like she never wanted
    A dog but just does not want to give it away because of who gave it to her which is stupid. Some people are just not meant to have dogs.

    I completely agree and I have spent many years trying to understand what the people themselves get from a pet like this. However, I did try this conversation but it's like talking a different language, so I'm looking for something else to try.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 248 ✭✭selfbuildache


    If you are rural and have big gardens, perhaps you could suggest a Dog Pen to her? That way the dog can roam around a bit.As above you could offer to walk it.



    If she's not going to budge, and not going to let you take the dog for walks and give it water then I'd be calling the ISPCA. Cruelty to animals is unacceptable and needs to be called out.



    They might just come out and have a word with her, and that might be enough to scare her into action.

    I suppose my worry is that once I start offering to help and if it falls on deaf ears, she will know who has called the warden. And yes, I know it should not matter what she thinks but it does. I have already sorted other dogs, from other members of her family (all around me) and I just feel if I work with her (in some way) rather than against her, I can get further. (And avoid unforseen wrath of her many family around me:))
    I hear you though. I'm not sure I can watch the dog go through a winter of days like this...
    (Oh sorry, I forgot to add I'd be laughed out of it if I suggested a dog pen! (No offence to you meant.))


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 Metalrobe


    I suppose my worry is that once I start offering to help and if it falls on deaf ears, she will know who has called the warden. And yes, I know it should not matter what she thinks but it does. I have already sorted other dogs, from other members of her family (all around me) and I just feel if I work with her (in some way) rather than against her, I can get further. (And avoid unforseen wrath of her many family around me:))
    I hear you though. I'm not sure I can watch the dog go through a winter of days like this...
    (Oh sorry, I forgot to add I'd be laughed out of it if I suggested a dog pen! (No offence to you meant.))

    We all love dogs and I think you have the right approach. If you go in hell for leather they will get possessive and shut you down. She may want to still 'own' the dog if you understand me. Dog could possibly be trained on a collar to stop him chasing cars and leaving the property. At the end of the day if he stays over there during the day and has a dog house that would be fine as long as he could go for walks with you and come into your house in the evening for a little bit of socialization.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 Metalrobe


    You could also play the card that your dog is lonely and would love a friend to play with. That might make her think she's doing you a favour and being sound.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,148 ✭✭✭Smee_Again


    Talk to the kids if you can.

    They might have bought the dog with the best of intentions and may be open to rehoming the dog as their mother doesn't seem interested in caring for it.

    Get the kids on-side and the mother will give up the dog no problem.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 248 ✭✭selfbuildache


    Metalrobe wrote: »
    You could also play the card that your dog is lonely and would love a friend to play with. That might make her think she's doing you a favour and being sound.

    Nice one. Will try that too. Mine is getting old. This one is young and energetic. My dog is not impressed but the owner does not need to know this:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 Metalrobe


    Smee_Again wrote: »
    Talk to the kids if you can.

    They might have bought the dog with the best of intentions and may be open to rehoming the dog as their mother doesn't seem interested in caring for it.

    Get the kids on-side and the mother will give up the dog no problem.

    Actually that's a great idea


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 248 ✭✭selfbuildache


    Smee_Again wrote: »
    Talk to the kids if you can.

    They might have bought the dog with the best of intentions and may be open to rehoming the dog as their mother doesn't seem interested in caring for it.

    Get the kids on-side and the mother will give up the dog no problem.

    I tried this one! As one of the kids' dogs is an 'outdoor dog' (but is allowed run free and has some shelter) it also fell on deaf ears.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,790 Mod ✭✭✭✭DBB


    Nice one. Will try that too. Mine is getting old. This one is young and energetic. My dog is not impressed but the owner does not need to know this:D

    There's definite scope here to tell her about how her dog has taken years off your dog, you can't believe what a difference it has made to your dog, who seems to have developed an extraordinary bond with hers :)
    Same with the kids in your life... whether your own, or nieces, nephews... they just adoooore her dog and would love to spend more time with him!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 273 ✭✭Hqrry113


    That's animal cruelty you should report her.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,688 ✭✭✭VonVix


    I did this only recently, I'm now a co parent to a 13 year old Husky lol. He had been a yard dog for most of his life. Lost his voice because he gave up and stopped crying to go inside because he was ignored. He is the most well socialised, hardy lad. Even good off lead, despite being largely deaf!

    We sent a letter and had a phone number on the end. We took the approach of stating we work with animals, we could give him the veterinary care he needs, we hoped he didn't feel offended, but we would love to care for his dog. Also my friend lives with another 13 year old dog who would love a friend. We felt strong in taking the approach as it was nothing to do with the owner(s neglect), but rather about making the dog's life even better.

    He responded that evening and said he would be more than happy for us to take him. The dog is thriving now, living a second puppy-hood.

    [Dog Training + Behaviour Nerd]



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    It reminds me of our coliie. When I rented one house. there was a collie . first locked in a kennel in the garage, then chained up at the ruined house down the lane.

    Apparently the dog had been bought for Daddy when Mammy died. Only Daddy did not want a dog and never spent another night at that house.

    Dog was seven years old then and had thus spent most of her life locked in a shed.

    We already had a dog, so we took advice from a small local animal charity and basically took her on.

    When we moved house there was an issue as this was Daddy;s dog....Last link with their father. But we persevered and collie had a few better years with us. She was not an easy dog after her early years.

    One small bit of advice; leave well alone a while as the lady will dig her heels in as she is doing already. At the end of the day this is HER dog.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 248 ✭✭selfbuildache


    Well, bit of a result here.
    Buoyed up by positive advice here and having a day where I was working from home and had some more time, myself and my 10 year old son called to the house yesterday and he asked if he could walk the dog with ours. (We stated all the reasons advised here.) The neighbour's (adult) son was with her and mentioned what a handful the dog was and how I had offered to take him before. Sensing an opportunity (also as suggested here) I started on to the son about what a working dog he was, must be hard to look after etc. I think they must have had a conversation already as they seemed open to me taking the dog. (The son more so than the mother but I ran with it.) I took the dog off for his walk and into my house. (Poor fe*ker was afraid to step inside.)
    Short of a long story, I've arranged to take the dog in a couple of days, so as long as the neighbour doesn't balk when it comes to it, he should be out of there. He'll go in to rescue.
    Many thanks for the 'gentle' suggestions and the shove it took to get me to call again.
    (Also, my own, old dog got the biggest run in weeks trying to keep up with the youngfella! We're going to call again today!)
    Many thanks for all advice.


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  • Posts: 5,369 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    How is this situation any good for anyone? She clearly doesn't care for or want the dog, children evidently don't either and the dogs miserable.

    Fair play op for getting involved, many wouldn't. If you are willing to take the dog then just report her and if it isn't adopted, take it.

    She will know it was you either way bit you are the one in the right here.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    How is this situation any good for anyone? She clearly doesn't care for or want the dog, children evidently don't either and the dogs miserable.

    Fair play op for getting involved, many wouldn't. If you are willing to take the dog then just report her and if it isn't adopted, take it.

    She will know it was you either way bit you are the one in the right here.


    It makes living near very hard. That is what the OP is up against. He does not want to alienate if it can be done more gently.

    The collie I mentioned? That we took on? I was very very careful when I knew I was moving. I had already been in contact with a small; local welfare group and they assured me they would back me, and to take the dog.

    And from his last post he is doing fine now.

    See his title? non antagonistic..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 248 ✭✭selfbuildache


    Graces7 wrote: »
    [/B]

    It makes living near very hard. That is what the OP is up against. He does not want to alienate if it can be done more gently.

    The collie I mentioned? That we took on? I was very very careful when I knew I was moving. I had already been in contact with a small; local welfare group and they assured me they would back me, and to take the dog.
    ..

    Thanks for that. I too was in touch with a rescue group and have/had back-up. Makes it easier to 'interfere' when you can offer an alternative.
    This has all encouraged me not to turn a blind eye though. Even though she had previously said no, it obviously set something in motion. Am glad to have done the softly, softly approach, got BACK in touch because of advice here, and got a result without putting anyone's back up.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    OP; I do understand! Here, a stray cat was brought to me by one of my cats, a year and more ago. Thin as a rake, timid. Of course I fed him and he stayed.

    This is a small island and I knew that they had had until recently a huge overpopulation of cats and that the farmer next door had one of the only two left. Both unneutered.I knew the other one.

    I knew which my new cat was! I have no idea if he has even missed Tonto. He would not dare ask! They see how cared for my cats are. And that they are rescues.

    Cat..... rescuing has many facets as does dog..... rescuing! And be sure; they know who has helped them. Tonto is a danger as as soon as I appear he wraps around my ankles purring. So much sheer love!

    It is a mighty thing you are doing! Thank you!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Thanks for that. I too was in touch with a rescue group and have/had back-up. Makes it easier to 'interfere' when you can offer an alternative.
    This has all encouraged me not to turn a blind eye though. Even though she had previously said no, it obviously set something in motion. Am glad to have done the softly, softly approach, got BACK in touch because of advice here, and got a result without putting anyone's back up.

    You planted a seed and now it has grown. :):):)


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,790 Mod ✭✭✭✭DBB


    A guarded well done op, guarded until the dog is gone and out of reach :)
    That was super work on your behalf, aided by your son and dog!
    Just a word of advice, from experience of having run a rescue for quite a few years now... get him out of there sooner rather than later, before she changes her mind or something else happens that takes the dog out of your hands... once she has voluntarily relinquished the dog, she has no legal claim to him any more. To add to this, get him chipped and licensed to your name (if the rescue take him, they'll do it... but again, needs to happen sooner rather than later. I am assuming that he's neither chipped nor licensed though!)
    Well done again! Great work :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 728 ✭✭✭bertiebomber


    if you were friendly with a local policeman he could call and advise her to get a better kennel for the dog and remind her its illegal to chain a dog all day if she surrenders the dog to the cop be ready & willing to take otherwise tell her stupid children they gave her a dog so he could be cruelly treated and you intend to report to ispca


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 137 ✭✭Danni21


    I suppose my worry is that once I start offering to help and if it falls on deaf ears, she will know who has called the warden. And yes, I know it should not matter what she thinks but it does. I have already sorted other dogs, from other members of her family (all around me) and I just feel if I work with her (in some way) rather than against her, I can get further. (And avoid unforseen wrath of her many family around me:))
    I hear you though. I'm not sure I can watch the dog go through a winter of days like this...
    (Oh sorry, I forgot to add I'd be laughed out of it if I suggested a dog pen! (No offence to you meant.))

    So are this family just in the habit of getting animals and not taking care of them? Sorry that's what I got from your post. Apologies if i'm wrong. If that's the case i'd have very little concern for upsetting the friendly neighbour and would be outraged that once again her and her family are mistreating another animal.

    There's 0 excuse for it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    if you were friendly with a local policeman he could call and advise her to get a better kennel for the dog and remind her its illegal to chain a dog all day if she surrenders the dog to the cop be ready & willing to take otherwise tell her stupid children they gave her a dog so he could be cruelly treated and you intend to report to ispca

    "non-antagonistic"? The OP is doing great without making enemies. And also he is teaching then how to care for the dog.


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  • Posts: 5,369 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Graces7 wrote: »
    [/B]

    It makes living near very hard. That is what the OP is up against. He does not want to alienate if it can be done more gently.

    The collie I mentioned? That we took on? I was very very careful when I knew I was moving. I had already been in contact with a small; local welfare group and they assured me they would back me, and to take the dog.

    And from his last post he is doing fine now.

    See his title? non antagonistic..

    Yes I know that but regardless, if the ISPCA rock up, its gonna be pretty obvious who called them so until the OP got a good response from the son, it wasnt looking like there was a viable alternative.

    Happily enough its all sorted and everyone seems happy


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Yes I know that but regardless, if the ISPCA rock up, its gonna be pretty obvious who called them so until the OP got a good response from the son, it wasnt looking like there was a viable alternative.

    Happily enough its all sorted and everyone seems happy

    I have tried this both ways with similar situations. In rural areas the diplomatic patient way is always more conducive to peaceful living. Learned that the very hard way.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 248 ✭✭selfbuildache


    DBB wrote: »
    A guarded well done op, guarded until the dog is gone and out of reach :)
    That was super work on your behalf, aided by your son and dog!
    Just a word of advice, from experience of having run a rescue for quite a few years now... get him out of there sooner rather than later, before she changes her mind or something else happens that takes the dog out of your hands... once she has voluntarily relinquished the dog, she has no legal claim to him any more. To add to this, get him chipped and licensed to your name (if the rescue take him, they'll do it... but again, needs to happen sooner rather than later. I am assuming that he's neither chipped nor licensed though!)
    Well done again! Great work :)

    I hear ya. I thought about not posting at all until the dog was out but couldn't resist 'telling', seeing as nothing would have happened except I came on here.
    The earliest the rescue can take him is 2 days, hence the wait. Had hoped to call over today but weather too bad. Will call again tomorrow for another walk and to keep contact. Plus he's good for my old dog!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 248 ✭✭selfbuildache


    Yes I know that but regardless, if the ISPCA rock up, its gonna be pretty obvious who called them

    The rescue will give me a ring and I'll go and get the dog. There's no way they'd hand the dog to an official looking crowd!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    The rescue will give me a ring and I'll go and get the dog. There's no way they'd hand the dog to an official looking crowd!

    All very good and strong and RIGHT! THANK YOU! Lucky dog to have you on his side.


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