(Near) Perfect Marriages

Sheridan81

The other day I was reading that John Travolta and Kelly Preston were married in 1991-so 29 years.

I found myself surprised that two famous and very attractive people would be married so long; indicative of the times we live in I suppose; we're more used to hearing about disastrous short-lived trysts, affairs, love triangles and non-consensual gropings.

Who have long perfect marriages, or near-perfect marriages, in the public eye? Or in real life for that matter?

Let's get the obvious joke out of the way:

Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. LuLZz.

Lu Tze

The near perfect marriage of rum and coke

dzer2

Zeta Jones and Douglas

Conall Cernach

There were rumours that all was not as it appeared in the Travolta marriage for years. He was said to be fond of massages.

screamer

Show me 2 perfect people and I’ll show you a perfect marriage, they don’t exist. Making marriages work and last is hard work. Celebrities have more means than most which affords them relief from some of the hum drum daily stuff the rest of us have to do, and I’m sure that helps.
Celeb marriages that have lasted the years- there’s loads but again, media like to focus on the car crashes rather than the smoothly ticking over.

gmisk

Sheridan81 wrote: »

The other day I was reading that John Travolta and Kelly Preston were married in 1991-so 29 years.

I found myself surprised that two famous and very attractive people would be married so long; indicative of the times we live in I suppose; we're more used to hearing about disastrous short-lived trysts, affairs, love triangles and non-consensual gropings.

Who have long perfect marriages, or near-perfect marriages, in the public eye? Or in real life for that matter?

Let's get the obvious joke out of the way:

Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. LuLZz.

Hmmm.
They were both seemingly very happy.....just not with each other.....
I spent quite a lot of time in LA. It seems to be well known it was a marriage of convenience.

I would say Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally married since 2003 seem extremely happy.

appledrop

Tom Hanks + Rita Wilson.

Married for donkeys years + seem very happy.

eviltwin

When I think of a good and successful marriage I don’t think of celebrities. I don’t even really think of marriage, some of the people I know in relationships the longest have never married.

gmisk

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze junior seem very happy. But both not in the limelight much these days

gmisk

eviltwin wrote: »

When I think of a good and successful marriage I don’t think of celebrities. I don’t even really think of marriage, some of the people I know in relationships the longest have never married.

Goldie Hawn and Kurt russell

touts

Jesus and Mary Magdalene apparently got on fairly well until his mates ganged up on her after he died.

Sheridan81

gmisk wrote: »

Hmmm.
They were both seemingly very happy.....just not with each other.....
I spent quite a lot of time in LA. It seems to be well known it was a marriage of convenience.
.

I see.

I don't know why anyone would get married really. Why would one want to spend a lifetime with someone? A few years maybe, but surely no one is that interesting. Is it all about not wanting to be alone? I don't know.

Sheridan81

appledrop wrote: »

Tom Hanks + Rita Wilson.

Married for donkeys years + seem very happy.

Some unsavoury rumours about those two. Some say Tom has some clandestine peculiar tastes.

Conall Cernach

Conall Cernach wrote: »

There were rumours that all was not as it appeared in the Travolta marriage for years. He was said to be fond of massages.

Whenever a marriage lasts in Hollywood, it seems that people make up fanciful stories to satisfy their cognitive dissonance.

Did you hear the one that Will Smith and his wife are gay and did a marriage of convenience?

It's like the idea of a stable marriage is such an aberration that fantastical stories are afforded greater credibility.

One eyed Jack

Sheridan81 wrote: »

I see.

I don't know why anyone would get married really. Why would one want to spend a lifetime with someone? A few years maybe, but surely no one is that interesting. Is it all about not wanting to be alone? I don't know.

Ironically enough it was an interesting thread up to that point. A point of view I’ve heard so many times now I just can’t be bothered explaining to someone who has gotten this far in life and still doesn’t understand why anyone would get married.

You don’t even have to imagine celebrity marriages that have lasted decades, there’s loads of ‘em. For ordinary people their reasons for getting married aren’t any different. They’re asking themselves what’s not to find interesting about a person they want to spend the rest of their lives with.

Sheridan81

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Ironically enough it was an interesting thread up to that point. A point of view I’ve heard so many times now I just can’t be bothered explaining to someone who has gotten this far in life and still doesn’t understand why anyone would get married.

You don’t even have to imagine celebrity marriages that have lasted decades, there’s loads of ‘em. For ordinary people their reasons for getting married aren’t any different. They’re asking themselves what’s not to find interesting about a person they want to spend the rest of their lives with.

Thanks for the lecture.

Perhaps you could list the loads of perfect celebrity marriages that have lasted for decades, as it's the point of the thread and I'm curious?

I don't pay attention to celebrity culture, beyond what I hear here and there.

dotsman

You don't have to look very far...

Bono & Ali

Started going out with each other in Secondary School. Married 35+ years. Even with 40 years of unbelievably hot girls throwing themselves at him every night.

Sheridan81

He's married to Mohammed Ali!!?

One eyed Jack

Sheridan81 wrote: »

Thanks for the lecture.

Perhaps you could list the loads of perfect celebrity marriages that have lasted for decades, as it's the point of the thread and I'm curious?

I don't pay attention to celebrity culture, beyond what I hear here and there.

Ahh mate ‘twasn’t a lecture, jesus, marriage definitely ain’t for you if that’s a lecture :pac:

Sheridan81

I'm just baffled by the whole thing.


The Whitsun Weddings
BY PHILIP LARKIN

That Whitsun, I was late getting away:
Not till about
One-twenty on the sunlit Saturday
Did my three-quarters-empty train pull out,
All windows down, all cushions hot, all sense
Of being in a hurry gone. We ran
Behind the backs of houses, crossed a street
Of blinding windscreens, smelt the fish-dock; thence
The river’s level drifting breadth began,
Where sky and Lincolnshire and water meet.

All afternoon, through the tall heat that slept
For miles inland,
A slow and stopping curve southwards we kept.
Wide farms went by, short-shadowed cattle, and
Canals with floatings of industrial froth;
A hothouse flashed uniquely: hedges dipped
And rose: and now and then a smell of grass
Displaced the reek of buttoned carriage-cloth
Until the next town, new and nondescript,
Approached with acres of dismantled cars.

At first, I didn’t notice what a noise
The weddings made
Each station that we stopped at: sun destroys
The interest of what’s happening in the shade,
And down the long cool platforms whoops and skirls
I took for porters larking with the mails,
And went on reading. Once we started, though,
We passed them, grinning and pomaded, girls
In parodies of fashion, heels and veils,
All posed irresolutely, watching us go,

As if out on the end of an event
Waving goodbye
To something that survived it. Struck, I leant
More promptly out next time, more curiously,
And saw it all again in different terms:
The fathers with broad belts under their suits
And seamy foreheads; mothers loud and fat;
An uncle shouting smut; and then the perms,
The nylon gloves and jewellery-substitutes,
The lemons, mauves, and olive-ochres that

Marked off the girls unreally from the rest.
Yes, from cafés
And banquet-halls up yards, and bunting-dressed
Coach-party annexes, the wedding-days
Were coming to an end. All down the line
Fresh couples climbed aboard: the rest stood round;
The last confetti and advice were thrown,
And, as we moved, each face seemed to define
Just what it saw departing: children frowned
At something dull; fathers had never known

Success so huge and wholly farcical;
The women shared
The secret like a happy funeral;
While girls, gripping their handbags tighter, stared
At a religious wounding. Free at last,
And loaded with the sum of all they saw,
We hurried towards London, shuffling gouts of steam.
Now fields were building-plots, and poplars cast
Long shadows over major roads, and for
Some fifty minutes, that in time would seem

Just long enough to settle hats and say
I nearly died,
A dozen marriages got under way.
They watched the landscape, sitting side by side
—An Odeon went past, a cooling tower,
And someone running up to bowl—and none
Thought of the others they would never meet
Or how their lives would all contain this hour.
I thought of London spread out in the sun,
Its postal districts packed like squares of wheat:

There we were aimed. And as we raced across
Bright knots of rail
Past standing Pullmans, walls of blackened moss
Came close, and it was nearly done, this frail
Travelling coincidence; and what it held
Stood ready to be loosed with all the power
That being changed can give. We slowed again,
And as the tightened brakes took hold, there swelled
A sense of falling, like an arrow-shower
Sent out of sight, somewhere becoming rain.

KevRossi

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.

When asked why he didn't have an affair with any of his famous co-stars he said...

"Why go out for hamburgers when I have steak at home?"

They were married for 50 years until his death in 2008. She was Joanne Woodward, could have had any man she wanted as well.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya!

I plan on making as many women happy during my lifetime as possible... why limit yourself to just making one person happy?

The Tetrarch

Money and beauty.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya!

Sheridan81 wrote: »

I see.

I don't know why anyone would get married really. Why would one want to spend a lifetime with someone? A few years maybe, but surely no one is that interesting. Is it all about not wanting to be alone? I don't know.

Yep, fear of being alone is biggie for many folks...

I've never really respected the institution of marriage tbh. I have no issue at all flirting with or pursuing marriage women. As far as I'm concerned, if they're looking in my direction then they're fair game... if their marriage vows actually meant anything, then they wouldn't be looking at some stranger like me now would they!?

And also, if marriage was actually sacred... then why is there no law against sleeping with someone who is married? It may be frowned upon by some people, but it's completely legal.

gogo

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell married over 35 years,
Hugh Jackman married over 30 odd years, Oprah married over 30 years, there are absolutely loads of them .... but that doesn’t sell magazines so you don’t hear about it....

Gruffalux

Jeff Bridges has been married to Susan Geston for 43 years. Sadly. Because it looks like they are going to make a go of it and he is unlikely to leave her for me.
In the younger demographic Sasha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher have been jogging along for 18 solid years. I think he is hot too but he can stay with the lovely Isla, he is probably a little tempremental for my liking.
I have been with my lad for 35 years, since we were childer. We get on great, he is funny, handsome and tall and amazingly thinks I am still cute. Woohoo!

sallyanne12

Sheridan81 wrote: »

I see.

I don't know why anyone would get married really. Why would one want to spend a lifetime with someone? A few years maybe, but surely no one is that interesting. Is it all about not wanting to be alone? I don't know.

It’s about loving deeply. Love is the strongest emotion and more meaningful than several fleeting encounters. Also life is really not that long, in fact very short actually

I'm in a relationship with the greatest man in the world. If we were to marry then it would be, well the same, but! The greatest marriage!

Mad_maxx

my uncle Dick and his wife Moyra

two of the most boring people you could ever meet , they get on like a house on fire

some people are just made for each other

Denzel and Pauletta - nearing 40 years.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya!

sallyanne12 wrote: »

It’s about loving deeply. Love is the strongest emotion and more meaningful than several fleeting encounters. Also life is really not that long, in fact very short actually

But just because someone doesn't commit to one person for life, doesn't necessarily mean that their relationships are "fleeting encounters".

I've been with the same person for a few years now. But I will never make any sort of commitment to stay with them for life... because it's illogical. I could very well end up staying with them for life, but not because I made a commitment to do so... but more so just because we were having fun and enjoying each other's company. If the magic fades, or one of us becomes less fun to be around... why would you force yourself to stay with that person for life? Like I said, it's illogical.

People that are in successful relationships that last decades, aren't successful because of a marriage commitment... they are successful because they have a strong bond/chemistry and enjoy being around each other. Those things are not exclusive to married people!

Liamo57

Im with my wife 43 years and we are very happy most of the time and as I write this, she's a pain in the horse.

gogo

gogo wrote: »

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell married over 35 years,
Hugh Jackman married over 30 odd years, Oprah married over 30 years, there are absolutely loads of them .... but that doesn’t sell magazines so you don’t hear about it....

Goldie and Kurt never married.

Sheridan81

KevRossi wrote: »

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.

Googled Joanne Woodward because I never heard of her and found this nice quote. Unfortunately, I've never been known for being a barrel of laughs.

Sheridan81

sallyanne12 wrote: »

It’s about loving deeply. Love is the strongest emotion and more meaningful than several fleeting encounters.

REPTILEDAN88

The Cures Robert Smith & his wife Mary Poole have been together since they were 14, married since 1988, close to 50 together.

Badly Drunk Boy

Sheridan81 wrote: »

I don't pay attention to celebrity culture, beyond what I hear here and there.

Yet you started this sort of thread, rather than just participating in it. :rolleyes:

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

I plan on making as many women happy during my lifetime as possible... why limit yourself to just making one person happy?

I'm doing the same. That's why I'm living in my little cave, just peeping out enough to grab a bit of internet every now and then, not bothering them at all... :pac:

Sheridan81

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

Yet you started this sort of thread, rather than just participating in it.

You caught me. I have a whole garage hoarded with Hello magazines. I have problems.

Sheridan81

Neil Young's marriage was going well then he dumped her for a younger one. Same with Thurston Moore from Sonic Youth. Why do men tend to do this to women? It's so cruel. Down with men.

quickbeam

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick (32 years)
Mel Brooks and Anne Bankcroft (41 years)
Carl Reiner and Estelle Lebost (65 years)
Kirk Douglas and Anne Buydens (66 years)

Though, in fairness, I'm assuming that longevity equates to perfection. For all I know they could have been miserable marraiges.

sallyanne12

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

But just because someone doesn't commit to one person for life, doesn't necessarily mean that their relationships are "fleeting encounters".

I've been with the same person for a few years now. But I will never make any sort of commitment to stay with them for life... because it's illogical. I could very well end up staying with them for life, but not because I made a commitment to do so... but more so just because we were having fun and enjoying each other's company. If the magic fades, or one of us becomes less fun to be around... why would you force yourself to stay with that person for life? Like I said, it's illogical.

People that are in successful relationships that last decades, aren't successful because of a marriage commitment... they are successful because they have a strong bond/chemistry and enjoy being around each other. Those things are not exclusive to married people!

But you said you don't know why anyone would get married and your question was “Why would one want to spend a lifetime with someone?”
The answer as I said is because they love them very deeply and don’t imagine life with anyone else. Of course you are right that it may not work out but marriage is a promise to give it 100% and try make it work given you feel so strongly about the person at that point in time. I’m guessing your feelings for your other half aren’t quite enough for marriage but someday you might meet someone who you just know you can’t imagine life without...
But you do have a point also that nobody knows or can guarantee they will want to stay with one person it’s about faith though :-)

sallyanne12

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

But just because someone doesn't commit to one person for life, doesn't necessarily mean that their relationships are "fleeting encounters".

I've been with the same person for a few years now. But I will never make any sort of commitment to stay with them for life... because it's illogical. I could very well end up staying with them for life, but not because I made a commitment to do so... but more so just because we were having fun and enjoying each other's company. If the magic fades, or one of us becomes less fun to be around... why would you force yourself to stay with that person for life? Like I said, it's illogical.

People that are in successful relationships that last decades, aren't successful because of a marriage commitment... they are successful because they have a strong bond/chemistry and enjoy being around each other. Those things are not exclusive to married people!

Also no offence but some people aren’t cut out for marriage and I reckon you are one of them when you mention giving up just because you’re no longer enjoying them or they aren’t fun anymore. It’s about so much more. It’s about standing by in times of weakness and loving them even when times are rough. If you have that attitude about giving up when they aren’t fun, you won’t last with anyone because THAT is illogical. Life is always going to bring issues and stresses

quickbeam

quickbeam wrote: »

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick (32 years)
Mel Brooks and Anne Bankcroft (41 years)
Carl Reiner and Estelle Lebost (65 years)
Kirk Douglas and Anne Buydens (66 years)

Though, in fairness, I'm assuming that longevity equates to perfection. For all I know they could have been miserable marraiges.

Indeed. Longevity isn't much of a measure at all. In fact we don't know what is because we aren't privy to their relationships.

Badly Drunk Boy

Sheridan81 wrote: »

You caught me. I have a whole garage hoarded with Hello magazines. I have problems.

Good lad. Get it out of you system!

A lot of it is random and luck in meeting the right person, plus certain personality traits make relationships easier and genuinely liking the person, my husband headed back to work this week after months of working at home I miss him and his silly jokes and just being able to have lunch together and having a laugh.

Late Fragment

And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.”

Alan Rickman spent over 50 years with his partner Rima Horton. They started dating in 1965 and (as far as I know) never split up or "took a break" from each other but they didn't actually get married until 2012. Sadly he passed away less than four years later.

They never had any kids - maybe that helps keep a marriage happy!

gmisk

quickbeam wrote: »

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick (32 years)
Mel Brooks and Anne Bankcroft (41 years)
Carl Reiner and Estelle Lebost (65 years)
Kirk Douglas and Anne Buydens (66 years)

Though, in fairness, I'm assuming that longevity equates to perfection. For all I know they could have been miserable marraiges.

Carl Reiner passed away a few weeks back

gmisk

Sheridan81 wrote: »

Some unsavoury rumours about those two. Some say Tom has some clandestine peculiar tastes.

I'm pretty sure most people agree that was the work of far right trolls.

quickbeam

gmisk wrote: »

Carl Reiner passed away a few weeks back

I know. Doesn’t change my post. .

seenitall

Travolta is gay as Christmas, I thought dogs in the street knew that?? What with all the allegations by various staff over the years of groping and suchlike.

I tried marriage, I did give it a go. It was a short one, it just wasn't meant to be. Nowadays I have some of my friends or their husbands ask me about the latest 'thing that happened' with a good bit of curiosity/ amusement/envy.
Such different life experiences. Because I've lived the life I have, I can't even imagine having been with just one man from when I was 17 or 24. Jeepers!!

I have many lovely memories, some less lovely but also many fantastic ones, with all different kinds of experiences, all different types of men, of all different ages, nationalities, scents, tastes and styles. That's kind of priceless. I've seen life. What I haven't known is true love, a good, solid marriage like some of my friends have with their husbands. That's the trade off, and I'm fine with it. I have a suspicion that my nature wouldn't allow for a different kind of experience anyway. Life is a big adventure to me, especially that side of it. Maybe I never grew up!

A bit more on topic so, because I am close to some friends who have fantastic marriages even after 20 or 25 years together - at least that's what I can see, I'd say there are a good few happily loved up people out there! It's always heartwarming to see it.