SURLAW REVEAL - The Homervision Fongcontest

From 8.15 pm tonight.


20 songs representing 20 countries.
14 merciless juries.
1 winner.

The reveal order has been decided. Our juries have all been assigned country names based on silly (and rather dubious) wordplay on boards usernames and Eurovision countries.

You've just over an hour to stock up on snacks and booze. See you then.

A reminder of the songs competing

Ok, two secs. Bear with me a moment.....

Let Petra and Måns entertain you before the main show begins:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6qSt8Qp9ck

RIGHT. HERE WE GO.

14 juries to get through, so make sure you've enough beer/wine/schnapps/whatever you're having yourself to keep the glass topped up.
After the third, sixth, ninth and twelfth jury votes I'll post a table with the current scores, and another right before the final jury vote.

Our 14 jurors are:

Also Starring LeVar Burton
Electric Nitwit
Homer J. Fong
Irish Aris
Kolido
Necro
phatkev
Rothko
s1ippy
Sawduck
ShaneU
sKeith
the purple tin
y0ssar1an22


First up we go to visit the Home(r) jury – dialing in from the streets of Bucharest, the votes from Rhomerania are as follows:

1 point to Pain Killer
2 points to Mulatu’s Mood
3 points to I Hope You Die
4 points to Sakura No Sono
5 points to Que No Salga la Luna
6 points to Wo ist die Euphorie
7 points to To You
8 points to Viltu vitrast
10 points to Jeune et Con
And the 12 points from Rhomerania go to……

……OWL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyTKyFlos1w

Fun fact: I saw She Keeps Bees way back in 2009, at a tiny gig in the Old Oak in Cork. There was a handful of people there and 19-year old me was attempting to be a cool hipster but was more like a giddy fanboy. :cool: Can confirm that lead singer Jessica Larrabee is very beautiful as well as talented.

For tonight's second set of points we hop to the beaches of the Adriatic coast, as we hear the results from MonteNecro

1 point to Pain Killer <snap>
2 points to Come Alive
3 points to How We Be
4 points to To You
5 points to Wo ist die Euphorie
6 points to Que No Salga la Luna
7 points to Reincarnation
8 points to Jeune et Con
10 points to Music Is My Hot Hot Sex
And the 12 points from Montenecro go to……

……HEARTBREAKER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4g5BVMH6ISc

Loïc Nottet represented Belgium at the 2015 Eurovision Song Contest, finishing in a respectable 4th-place with the Lorde-esque Rhythm Inside.

We’re heading north next, to visit not just one but two Norwegian cities as we gather the votes from (and I am very proud of myself for coming up with this name :cool: ) Oslo Starring LeVar Bergen:

1 point to Owl
2 points to Jeune et Con
3 points to Viltu vitrast
4 points to Eleven Wives
5 points to I Hope You Die
6 points to To You
7 points to Back Home
8 points to Reincarnation
10 points to How We Be

And the 12 points from Oslo Starring LeVar Bergen go to……

.....HAVE YOU SEEN THE RAIN. Which sadly wasn't in contention. So instead they go to.....

……COME ALIVE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoLWLsO-ApQ

So here’s our table after the first three juries: Monsieur Saez currently leads ahead of Ireland’s own Young Wonder. Three songs are yet to receive any points (including the one Electric Nitwit predicted would win! :pac: ) but it’s still very early days.

POSITION SONG POINTS
1 Jeune et Con 20
2 To You 17
3 Reincarnation 15
4 Come Alive 14
5 How We Be 13
6 Owl 13
7 Heartbreaker 12
8 Wo ist die Euphorie 11
9 Viltu vitrast 11
10 Que No Salga La Luna 11
11 Music Is My Hot Hot Sex 10
12 I Hope You Die 8
13 Back Home 7
14 Sakura No Sono 4
15 Eleven Wives 4
16 Mulatu's Mood 2
17 Painkiller 2
18 Gone Gone Gone 0
19 Dressed For Space 0
20 Seis 0

Electric Nitwit

[Deleted User] wrote: »

...and I am very proud of myself for coming up with this name :cool: ) Oslo Starring LeVar Bergen

Also Starring LeVar Burton

Deleted User wrote: »

(and I am very proud of myself for coming up with this name :cool: ) Oslo Starring LeVar Bergen

Back to the Balkans now to gather the points from Y0ssnia and Herzegossar1ana:

1 point to Que No Salga La Luna
2 points to How We Be
3 points to Come Alive
4 points to Back Home
5 points to Jeune et Con
6 points to Heartbreaker
7 points to Wo ist die Euphorie
8 points to Pain Killer
10 points to Gone Gone Gone

He’d rather award 22, but the 12 points from Y0ssnia and Herzegossar1ana go to……

……DRESSED FOR SPACE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjwM0eIQ6Rc

The top two scores go to two new entries on the scoreboard! This makes things very interesting...

Time for some paella and sangria? Shpane(U) <...have to say it like a culchie> is going to serve some up with his points:

1 point to Music Is My Hot Hot Sex
2 points to Owl
3 points to To You
4 points to Viltu vitrast
5 points to Come Alive
6 points to Dressed For Space
7 points to Reincarnation
8 points to Sakura No Sono
10 points to How We Be
Y los doce points de la ShpaneU jury go…..not to Rosalía but instead to…..

……WO IST DIE EUPHORIE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z--eEkY-kBc

A short hop now from the Rock of Gibraltar to the port of Tangier, to see where the points from Morothko* are heading:

1 point to Eleven Wives
2 points to Mulatu’s Mood
3 points to Gone Gone Gone
4 points to Music Is My Hot Hot Sex
5 points to Dressed For Space
6 points to Pain Killer
7 points to Sakura No Sono
8 points to Wo Ist die Euphorie
10 points to Jeune et Con

And the 12 points from Morothko go to……

……COME ALIVE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoLWLsO-ApQ

A second 12-point score of the night for the Australian four-piece – is this a good sign of things to come?

*Morocco did actually enter the Eurovision once, way back in 1980. They finished 2nd-last and haven't been seen again since. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Irish Aris

ah, very tight on the top thus far.
This looks very exciting!!!

Kolido

[Deleted User] wrote: »

*Morocco did actually enter the Eurovision once, way back in 1980. They finished 2nd-last and haven't been seen again since. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It wasnt the beginning of a beautiful friendship then

With 6/14 of the votes counted, here’s a look at the table :

POSITION SONG POINTS
1 Wo ist die Euphorie 38
2 Jeune et Con 35
3 Come Alive 34
4 How We Be 25
5 Dressed For Space 23
6 Reincarnation 22
7 To You 20
8 Sakura No Sono 19
9 Heartbreaker 18
10 Pain Killer 16
11 Music Is My Hot Hot Sex 15
12 Viltu vitrast 15
13 Owl 15
14 Gone Gone Gone 13
15 Que No Salga La Luna 12
16 Back Home 11
17 I Hope You Die 8
18 Eleven Wives 5
19 Mulatu's Mood 4
20 Seis 0


ze Germans are currently leading the pack, followed by the French and the Aussies. Cork’s Young Wonder slip down the table after picking up just three points in those last three votes. The two jazz numbers linger near the foot of the table, just above the only song that is yet to score any points; Estonia’s Mick Pedaja will be feeling as sombre as his music.

Electric Nitwit

Electric Nitwit wrote: »

Thought I'd try a prediction. Tricky, as I think a few songs will score highly with some people but low with others. I think the winner needs to consistently score with everyone, and I'm going to guess it'll be... Ladyhawke

Don't think I'm going to be right here

Irish Aris

Electric Nitwit wrote: »

Don't think I'm going to be right here

Yeah, I would expect her to do well too, maybe she will pick up a bit in the second half.

Electric Nitwit

Irish Aris wrote: »

Yeah, I would expect her to do well too, maybe she will pick up a bit in the second half.

[whisper] Do you think Homer put all the bad judges early? :pac:

Also Starring LeVar Burton

Deleted User wrote: »

the only song that is yet to score any points; Estonia’s Mick Pedaja will be feeling as sombre as his music.

Seis was the last song I cut before settling on my Top 10, just missing out. Hope it manages to pick up a couple of points from someone at the very least.

Onto Jury #7 now; a trip to the Sudetinland in the Czech Repurpleic.....

....yeah, this was one of the harder names to do something with.

1 point to Come Alive
2 points to Eleven Wives
3 points to Owl
4 points to I Hope You Die
5 points to Pain Killer
6 points to Que No Salga La Luna
7 points to Sakura No Sono
8 points to Wo Ist die Euphorie
10 points to Back Home

And the 12 points from Czech Repurpleic go to……

……MULATU’S MOOD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnMj_8sou3w

A first perfect score for the Ethiopian jazz man!

So my story with this one is that I was visiting a friend in Munich last year around the time of Oktoberfest and we ended up at a jazz bar, already quite tipsy, and decided more beer was a good idea. We both liked this track that was playing in the background, so I Shazammed it....it was this song.
A couple of months later, around Christmas time, I was in the Secret Book and Record shop on Wicklow Street in Dublin (perfectly sober this time). There was cool jazz music playing in the background, once again Shazammed it.....once again, it was Mr Astatke (a different track).

So yeah. Not an earth-shatteringly amazing story, probably won't get a book out of it....but it's good enough to tide ye over while you wait for the next lot of points.

Electric Nitwit

Also Starring LeVar Burton wrote: »

Seis was the last song I cut before settling on my Top 10, just missing out. Hope it manages to pick up a couple of points from someone at the very least.

It will

From Prague to Poland, to see what WarSawduck has in store for us:

1 point to Back Home
2 points to Come Alive
3 points to Heartbreaker
4 points to Wo Ist Die Euphorie
5 points to I Hope You Die
6 points to To You
7 points to How We Be
8 points to Owl
10 points to Reincarnation

And the 12 points from WarSawduck (this can be their nickname when they get really angry!) go to……

……GONE GONE GONE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJi4TD-Zb38

Another first 12-pointer here, keeping the contest wide-open.

Electric Nitwit be like:

Our next destination is Vilnius, to get points from sKeithuania:

1 point to Reincarnation
2 points to Owl
3 points to I Hope You Die
4 points to Gone Gone Gone
5 points to Jeune et Con
6 points to Back Home
7 points to Sakura No Sono
8 points to Viltu vitrast
10 points to Come Alive

And the 12 points from sKeithuania go to……

……ELEVEN WIVES

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n3g2xhJqx8

Yet another song picks up its first 12 points! This was one of the last songs I discovered and instantly loved it, so it made its way onto the list after just one listen.

That’s eight different songs that have gotten full marks from just nine juries – rather than a clear winner, we have a lot of deviation of opinion here.
Table after 9 rounds coming up shortly:

POSITION SONG POINTS
1 Wo ist die Euphorie 50
2 Come Alive 47
3 Jeune et Con 40
4 Sakura No Sono 33
5 Reincarnation 33
6 How We Be 32
7 Gone Gone Gone 29
8 Back Home 28
9 Owl 28
10 To You 26
11 Dressed For Space 23
12 Viltu vitrast 23
13 Heartbreaker 21
14 Painkiller 21
15 I Hope You Die 20
16 Eleven Wives 19
17 Que No Salga La Luna 18
18 Mulatu's Mood 16
19 Music Is My Hot Hot Sex 15
20 Seis 0

The Germans stay ahead but having not scored a point from the last jury it means only three points now separate them from The Jezabels in second place. Saez keeps up his strong scoring throughout the game to hold onto third place.

At the foot of the table, it’s looking very bleak for poor Mr Pedaja with nul points from nine juries. A perfect score from purple tine can’t quite pull Mr Astatke out of the bottom three.

Irish Aris

I remember Avishai Cohen from the days I was listening to jazz.
The standard jazz trio format is the only jazz I can pleasantly listen to these days.

Sawduck

Deleted User wrote: »

From Prague to Poland, to see what WarSawduck has in store for us:

1 point to Back Home
2 points to Come Alive
3 points to Heartbreaker
4 points to Wo Ist Die Euphorie
5 points to I Hope You Die
6 points to To You
7 points to How We Be
8 points to Owl
10 points to Reincarnation

And the 12 points from WarSawduck (this can be their nickname when they get really angry!) go to……

……GONE GONE GONE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJi4TD-Zb38

Another first 12-pointer here, keeping the contest wide-open.

Electric Nitwit be like:

Haha I love that name WarSawduck

We won’t be heading to Greece tonight, as our resident Greek correspondent is currently "holidaying" in Minsk. And with the approval of both Michael D. Higgins and the benevolent Commander Lukashenko, Irish BelAris has designated points as follows:

1 point to To You
2 points to Come Alive
3 points to Eleven Wives
4 points to Que No Salga La Luna
5 points to Dressed For Space
6 points to I Hope You Die
7 points to How We Be
8 points to Viltu vitrast
10 points to Gone Gone Gone

And the 12 points from Irish BelAris go to……

……HEARTBREAKER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4g5BVMH6ISc

A second perfect score of the night from the young Belgian, but will he pick up enough points from elsewhere to be in contention? The gap at the top closes to just a single point now; despite The Jezabels only picking up two points, it’s still two more than Trümmer got! (Also two more than poor Mick Pedaja got, but he must be used to that now)

Irish Aris

Deleted User wrote: »

We won’t be heading to Greece tonight, as our resident Greek correspondent is currently "holidaying" in Minsk. And with the approval of both Michael D. Higgins and the benevolent Commander Lukashenko, Irish BelAris has designated points as follows:

1 point to To You
2 points to Come Alive
3 points to Eleven Wives
4 points to Que No Salga La Luna
5 points to Dressed For Space
6 points to I Hope You Die
7 points to How We Be
8 points to Viltu vitrast
10 points to Gone Gone Gone

And the 12 points from Irish BelAris go to……

……HEARTBREAKER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4g5BVMH6ISc

A second perfect score of the night from the young Belgian, but will he pick up enough points from elsewhere to be in contention? The gap at the top closes to just a single point now; despite The Jezabels only picking up two points, it’s still two more than Trümmer got! (Also two more than poor Mick Pedaja got, but he must be used to that now)

Love it!!!!

Electric Nitwit

Irish Aris wrote: »

Yeah, I would expect her to do well too, maybe she will pick up a bit in the second half.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

10 points to Gone Gone Gone

DANGER! DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE!

On the shores of Lake Zurich, as a current of fully charged points flows to us from Electric Nitswitzerland;

1 point to Mulatu’s Mood
2 points to Owl
3 points to Sakura No Sono
4 points to SEIS!!! :eek:
5 points to Wo Ist Die Euphorie
6 points to Jeune et Con
7 points to Gone Gone Gone
8 points to Pain Killer
10 points to Back Home

And die zwölf Electricnitswitzerlandsfongcontestischepointen go to……

……COME ALIVE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoLWLsO-ApQ

The Aussies leap into the lead with a third perfect score of the night; can they hold on for victory?
Or perhaps a late surge from the hitherto ignored Estonian entry will shock us all with an against the odds victory?

CAN SEIS PULL OF THE GREATEST WIN IN SURLAW HISTORY?!!! :eek:

No

Irish Aris

Electric Nitwit wrote: »

Hahahaha.
I really like Ladyhawke's music - although I was disappointed when I saw her live a few years back.
Loic Nottet was the discovery of the tournament for me. When I saw his name, I vaguely remembered him from the Eurovision song contest but never really registered him. But this was a really nice pop song.

Electric Nitwit

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Electric Nitswitzerland

Ha ha, very good :pac:

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The Aussies leap into the lead with a third perfect score of the night; can they hold on for victory?

Whoo-hoo! Delighted I helped them into first place. That song is several types of awesome, I really love it. There was never ever doubt it would be number one for me

From Lake Zurich to Lake Bled, we’re off to enjoy some potent homemade schnapps* with S1ippvenia:

1 point to Dressed For Space
2 points to Seis <two sets of points in a row!>
3 points to Mulatu’s Mood
4 points to Come Alive
5 points to Pain Killer
6 points to Jeune Et Con
7 points to Eleven Wives
8 points to Reincarnation
10 points to Back Home

And the 12 points go to……

……GONE GONE GONE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJi4TD-Zb38

A second 12-points of the night for the Kiwi, coupled with low-ish scores for the leaders…..is there to be a late twist in this race? The table after 12 rounds is coming up now…..

*my sister has a Slovenian penpal that visited us once years ago and brought us two supposedly differently flavoured bottles of "fruit" schnapps to try....they both had the exact same taste, namely that of pure ethanol.

Electric Nitwit

I went to a wedding in Lake Bled, it is a stunning place!

And Ljubljana is one of my favourite cities. Might have to go and visit s1ippy sometime

Also Starring LeVar Burton

Electric Nitwit wrote: »

Whoo-hoo! Delighted I helped them into first place. That song is several types of awesome, I really love it. There was never ever doubt it would be number one for me

Come Alive was one that actually took a few listens before getting my number 1 spot - it was always in my Top 10, but definitely lower down the totem poll to begin with. Delighted to see it up at the top of the table, even if it doesn't pull out the overall win.

Gone Gone Gone was actually my No. 1 for the first two listens before falling out of my Top 10 altogether as others won me over that bit more on subsequent listens.

Electric Nitwit

Also Starring LeVar Burton wrote: »

Come Alive was one that actually took a few listens before getting my number 1 spot - it was always in my Top 10, but definitely lower down the totem poll to begin with. Delighted to see it up at the top of the table, even if it doesn't pull out the overall win.

Gone Gone Gone was actually my No. 1 for the first two listens before falling out of my Top 10 altogether as others won me over that bit more on subsequent listens.

Wow, pretty dramatic fall for Ladyhawke!

Come Alive starts like Thom Yorke solo before moving into a sound like Hail To The Thief era Radiohead, I was sold very quickly

With only two juries left to go, here's how our table looks:

POSITION SONG POINTS
1 Come Alive 65
2 Gone Gone Gone 58
3 Wo ist die Euphorie 55
4 Jeune et Con 52
5 Back Home 48
6 Reincarnation 41
7 How We Be 39
8 Sakura No Sono 36
9 Painkiller 34
10 Heartbreaker 33
11 Viltu vitrast 31
12 Owl 30
13 Dressed For Space 29
14 Eleven Wives 29
15 To You 27
16 I Hope You Die 26
17 Que No Salga La Luna 22
18 Mulatu's Mood 20
19 Music Is My Hot Hot Sex 15
20 Seis 6

The Jezabels hold on to their lead but their Oceanic neighbour Ladyhawke has now climbed up to the silver medal position. Trümmer hold off Saez for the bronze spot, while two 10-point scores in a row has led to the Polish entry Daniel Spaleniak stealthily creeping up the table to sit in 5th place. No change at the bottom, but at least we know there won’t be a nul pointer now!

Time for our penultimate jury vote of the night, where we take a trip to Bratislava to find Slophatkeva…

Also Starring LeVar Burton

Electric Nitwit wrote: »

Wow, pretty dramatic fall for Ladyhawke!

I really really loved 12 of the songs, and not a huge amount separated them for me to be honest, and it just ended up being one of the two (along with Seis) that got cut on my final listen before submitting scores. More a testament to the overall quality of the Surlaw that there is 12 songs I'd gladly see win. There wasn't any songs that I disliked either.

…..and what will Slophatkeva be giving the top three?

NOTHING AT ALL!


1 point to How We Be
2 points to Que No Salga La Luna
3 points to To You
4 points to Music Is My Hot Hot Sex
5 points to Jeune Et Con
6 points to Seis
7 points to Back Home
8 points to Eleven Wives
10 points to Reincarnation

And the 12 points go to……

……MULATU’S MOOD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnMj_8sou3w

A second perfect score of the night for Mr Astatke, that won't be enough to help him win but will certainly help to stop others from winning! For the night that's in it, allow me to shoehorn in a fitting parallel with the late Mr Jack Charlton, who once said: "I wasn't very good at playing football. But I was very good at stopping other people playing football"

And this is what the penultimate table looks like; five songs could still take the crown here with just one jury left to vote:

POSITION SONG POINTS
1 Come Alive 65
2 Gone Gone Gone 58
3 Jeune et Con 57
4 Wo ist die Euphorie 55
5 Back Home 55
6 Reincarnation 51
7 How We Be 40
8 Eleven Wives 37
9 Sakura No Sono 36
10 Painkiller 34
11 Heartbreaker 33
12 Mulatu's Mood 32
13 Viltu vitrast 31
14 To You 30
15 Owl 30
16 Dressed For Space 29
17 I Hope You Die 26
18 Que No Salga La Luna 24
19 Music Is My Hot Hot Sex 19
20 Seis 12



The Jezabels and Saez both started off strong and have never looked back throughout.

Ladyhawke was slow out of the traps but a burst of energy sees her within touching distance of the leaders.

Trümmer were the early pace setters and although their momentum has stalled somewhat they still remain in contention.

And the darkest of dark horses, Polish duo Daniel and Kartarzyna, are stealthily priming themselves for a final sprint towards an unlikely win.


They say Chisinau is the least visited capital city in Europe, but we’re excitedly racing there tonight because shít's about to go down; Kol(i)dova gets the final say tonight in our Surlaw showdown.

The hour of reckoning is upon us.
It is time for the results from the Kol(i)dovan jury.

And straight away we have drama:

1 point to Come Alive

Meaning the Jezabels fail to secure victory just yet, but remain in a very strong position with a final tally of 66 points.

Kol(i)dovan Jury, Part Two:


2 points to Dressed For Space
3 points to Mulatu's Mood
4 points to Music Is My Hot Hot Sex

So far, so good.....

Kol(i)dovan Jury, Part Three:


5 points to Jeune et Con

Monsieur Saez has scored very respectably all night but crucially didn’t manage to get anyone's full 12 points. A score of 5 here sees him finish with 62 points, 4 short of catching The Jezabels.

Thus we are now left with four possible winners......

Electric Nitwit

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The hour of reckoning is upon us.
It is time for the results from the Kol(i)dovan jury.

And straight away we have drama:

1 point to Come Alive

Meaning the Jezabels fail to secure victory just yet, but remain in a very strong position with a final tally of 66 points.

Kol(i)dovan Jury, Part Four:

Another one bites the dust!

6 points to Gone Gone Gone

Giving Ladyhawke a final tally of 64 points, which is not enough to overtake The Jezabels. Our list of possible winners is now reduced to just 3.

Irish Aris

woo. . . suspense is killing me. . .

Kol(i)dovan Jury, Part Five:


7 points to How We Be
8 points to Owl
10 points to Sakura No Sono

So where does that leave us? The Jezabels are on 66 points. Both Trümmer and Daniel Spaleniak feat. Katarzyna Kowalczyk currently have 55. If either the Germans or the Poles manage to get the Kolidovan 12 points, they will take the Surlaw title; otherwise, the crown is heading Down Under.....

With that in mind, I can reveal that the Kolidovan 12 points go to………..



......how long can I drag this out for? :pac:

Electric Nitwit

[Deleted User] wrote: »

With that in mind, I can reveal that the Kolidovan 12 points go to………..



......how long can I drag this out for? :pac:

Too long :pac:

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

With that in mind, I can reveal that the Kolidovan 12 points go to………..

......……WO IST DIE EUPHORIE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z--eEkY-kBc

DEUTSCHLAND ÜBER ALLES! TRÜMMER HAT GEWONNEN UND IST DIE SURLAWCHAMPION!!

Also Starring LeVar Burton

Also Starring LeVar Burton

Great reveal Homer.

A fall at the final hurdle is disappointing, Jezabels should of won it, but fair play to Trümmer. Es ist ein gutes Lied.