Ex has new relationship after 6 days

Go Home Paddy Cat!!

cj maxx wrote: »

Op , she obviously didn't feel the same as you about the relationship, or may have found the distance insurmountable.
Either way, it's over. As for being friends, my opinion is don't bother. You don't need reminders of her online. Block her / unfriend her on social media etc. She did the dirt on you presumably so while you don't have to be enemies I don't think you can be friends. Move on .

This! In my opinion, it sounds like she made her mind up probably long before it ended between you two. I'm sorry for you OP, it really hurts. A lot of us have been there. If it were me, I wouldn't bother demanding answers. If she was worth her salt, she'd have been completely honest with you long ago and she wasn't. While I'm sure the last few months were tough no doubt for both of you, she still used the pretext of distance for breaking up and instead you had to learn the real truth via facebook.

You owe her nothing by the sounds of it. Let the new guy have her. Let him deal with her mendacity and immaturity.

Honestly, the best revenge is a life well-lived so use the time you have to self-invest, to reflect and to heal. Beware, you might hear from her again in the future so be prepared for that. But I hope by that stage you'll have moved on. Best of luck chief!

ax530

Draw a line move on.
You went out with her, got on well, had good time you were both good to each other....time passed broke up.... Don't need to dwell on what happened next or the ifs and buts.
You are young and it's a positive you won't be bumping into her and new partner when going to shop.
Due to distance can't see any point in being 'friends'.
Takes time to get over heartbreak but just use it as a lesson in life. Move onto next chapter a wiser person good luck

spaceHopper

Sounds like she started the relationship before she broke up with you and never told him about you, which is why she didn't answer you calls or texts. So you weren't the only one cheated on.

From now on think about what is best for you, don't do anything in relation to her unless it helps you, getting an explanation for her won't help you or letting her new BF know what she's being doing. Just get busy doing new things, get out more now that lock down is relaxing.

On facebook you can put a 30 day pause on seeing somebody's post... do that or block her.

facehugger99

D3nn!s wrote: »

I was absolutely enraged by this and tried to call her phone about 20 times to get her to answer for this to my face.

Well, that was a mistake.

What did you hope to achieve?

Preserve your dignity, block her on social media and move on.

Neyite

Overlaps are quite common, sorry to say. I know loads of people who've done it, loads who've had it done to them.

Someone who does the facebook relationship status like that is someone who wants a reaction. So don't give her one. Don't hand her your dignity by reacting badly (or at all) and don't message her.


The best revenge is your own happiness.

LegacyUser

D3nn!s wrote: »

Thank you to everyone who responded, it means a lot to see people on my side of this. I will try my best to move on with it. Just one thing to clear up where I think I may have confused a couple of respondents. I am absolutely not trying to remain friends with this person, in anyway. After the message I sent her, I fully planned on never contacting her again. It was her who responded (by text) she wanted to explain herself. But no matter what she said, there isn't much redemption for her here, in my opinion. So after this conversation was over, it was still end game for me. Sorry if I was unclear about this.

I feel for you. Its a horrible thing to happen. It happened to me too - I posted about it on here, how I got a 3 1/2 minute phone call from the man I thought was my boyfriend ending it. He started the call by saying "I'm seeing someone else now" and then ended the call, saying he was in a hurry to go somewhere. So at least you got more of an explanation than I did! I sent a very few texts, expressing my upset, and he then actually blocked my number after less than a week. I didn't even try to phone him!

So believe me, it could be even worse - at least your ex is speaking to you and you have got some closure. It makes it far worse when the person treats you really brutally and just cuts you off.

Some people just don't have any loyalty and don't form close bonds. Ironically, these are the people who you often fall hardest for, maybe because they create a little bit of insecurity in you that makes you sub-consciously work harder to keep them happy. I would be interested to know if your ex is the type to keep friends, or does she drop them as well.

I would also be wary of staying in touch or keeping her on FB - she sounds like the type to keep you for "spare" when her ego is needing a boost, even if just by chatting on FB.

My ex has dumped me before, so at least I have practice. The first week, I hated him, the second week I was in tears and missing him as if my life was going to end, this week kind of started the same but I think I'm getting a bit better. Its the shock as well, when you don't see it coming. I'm trying to feel glad that I had a good relationship with him and move on from that. Ironically, I spent lockdown really getting into shape and I look quite hot now, and I've somehow managed to go on 3 dates with 3 different guys (all platonic/walk in the park/coffee meet up type dates). I think that was actually a mistake, as they made me miss my ex all the more, because obviously the last man I did those activities with was him.

So all I can offer is sympathy but ask yourself this - do you really want a person who can be so flippant with their affections and switch from one person to another like that? Its not a good trait. Its her loss that she has thrown away this relationship with a person who had strong feelings in such a horrible way.

I'm sorry for your pain, OP.

She wants to be friends because it makes her feel less guilty. Lots of people can remain friends after breaking up, but not if one of them announces a 'new' relationship in less than a week, because you need to respect each other to be friends. She doesn't respect your feelings. She is not your friend, she never will be.

You want answers, but you have no right to them. Her life is hers now and you have no say in it, don't let her have a say in yours by provoking you into behaving in ways that you'll come to regret.

Delete, block, move on. Something better is out there for you.

padser

Hi OP,

Sorry to read your post. Ultimately she decided she wanted someone closer to home rather than some guy from Galway. It happens. Sounds like she went about it in a poor manner. Move on and good luck