Ireland is a pacified society

Ohio9

See what happens if An Garda Siochona randomly stops you with a butter knife in your pocket.

Ohio9

You'll be imprisoned for carrying an offensive weapon.

Rodney Bathgate

What about a cheese knife?

Ohio9

Rodney Bathgate wrote: »

What about a cheese knife?

Same thing, offensive weapon. Why would you take it on you mate? No excuse = you're off to court boy.

Atlantic Dawn

If you had butter and a few slices of bread in your other pocket you would be grand.

Rodney Bathgate

Ohio9 wrote: »

Same thing, offensive weapon. Why would you take it on you mate? No excuse = you're off to court boy.

Thanks for clarifying. I won’t ever make that mistake thanks to this thread.

Ipso

Rodney Bathgate wrote: »

What about a cheese knife?

Does it have to be a cheese knife or would it apply to all dairy products?

Ohio9

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

If you had butter and a few slices of bread in you other pocket you would be grand.

I'll start carrying bread in my pockets.

Rodney Bathgate

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

If you had butter and a few slices of bread in you other pocket you would be grand.

And a lump of cheddar.

RandomViewer

Take it that a Stanley knife or penknife would be ok

ohnonotgmail

Rodney Bathgate wrote: »

What about a cheese knife?

Ohio9 wrote: »

Same thing, offensive weapon. Why would you take it on you mate? No excuse = you're off to court boy.

make sure you carry some cheese as well and you have a reasonable excuse for carrying the cheese knife. maybe some crackers as well.

Temptamperu

Why would you need a butter knife if your not in a kitchen or eating?

Ohio9

RandomViewer wrote: »

Take it that a Stanley knife or penknife would be ok

If you work in a job that requires it such as a carpenter then yes, otherwise court and jail for carrying offensive weapon. Bet americans and most Europeans would laugh at us.

Rodney Bathgate

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

make sure you carry some cheese as well and you have a reasonable excuse for carrying the cheese knife. maybe some crackers as well.

Good call. Avoid cheesy crackers though, as they not believe you plan to have cheesy crackers with cheese.

Ohio9

Temptamperu wrote: »

Why would you need a butter knife if your not in a kitchen or eating?

Self defence. Scumbags everywhere in Dublin. It's just hilarious that even a kitchen knife would get you arrested and sent to court for possessing an offensive weapon. Nevermind about a combat knife.

ohnonotgmail

Ipso wrote: »

Does it have to be a cheese knife or would it apply to all dairy products?

*snort*

Hande hoche!

Just carry a melon baller.

endacl

Ohio9 wrote: »

Self defence. Scumbags everywhere in Dublin. It's just hilarious that even a kitchen knife would get you arrested and sent to court for possessing an offensive weapon. Nevermind about a combat knife.

“Giz yer wallet!”

“Feck off before I butter you!”

Ohio9

What I mean by pacified society is that the people cannot defend themselves in any way other than attempting to run away. You'll be lucky if the guardians of peace show up at all. They might show up 4 hours later to find your corpse in a pool of blood after getting stabbed by a scrote who ignores the laws and holds multiple stabbing devices.

ohnonotgmail

Ohio9 wrote: »

What I mean by pacified society is that the people cannot defend themselves in any way other than attempting to run away. You'll be lucky if the guardians of peace show up at all. They might show up 4 hours later to find your corpse in a pool of blood after getting stabbed by a scrote who ignores the laws and holds multiple stabbing devices.

running away is always a very good option.

RandomViewer

Ohio9 wrote: »

Self defence. Scumbags everywhere in Dublin. It's just hilarious that even a kitchen knife would get you arrested and sent to court for possessing an offensive weapon. Nevermind about a combat knife.

Some very sharp very long kitchen knives, boning knife would be useful

Ohio9

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

running away is always a very good option.

What if they run faster than you? The scrotes often attack women.

Hande hoche!

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

running away is always a very good option.

Strong chance that your attackers will be clad in athletic clothing and footwear.

Conall Cernach

Ohio9 wrote: »

What if they run faster than you? The scrotes often attack women.

They often carry bigger knives too.

Rodney Bathgate

Temptamperu wrote: »

Why would you need a butter knife if your not in a kitchen or eating?

What about Cavan lads using a knife to peel fruit in their pockets?

Just carry the ingredients of a few "hang sangwiches" in the other pocket. Instead of arresting you, make the Garda one and he/she will join you in reminiscing over the Nenagh hurling team of 1995.

Harry Palmr

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Strong chance that your attackers will be clad in athletic clothing and footwear.

You'll never get away from the ones with reversed caps and go faster stripes on their gear

corner of hells

Ohio9 wrote: »

What I mean by pacified society is that the people cannot defend themselves in any way other than attempting to run away. You'll be lucky if the guardians of peace show up at all. They might show up 4 hours later to find your corpse in a pool of blood after getting stabbed by a scrote who ignores the laws and holds multiple stabbing devices.

Batman might see you in distress.

Church on Tuesday

Ohio9 wrote: »

Self defence. Scumbags everywhere in Dublin. It's just hilarious that even a kitchen knife would get you arrested and sent to court for possessing an offensive weapon. Nevermind about a combat knife.

'tis a cnut.

looksee

Ohio9 wrote: »

What I mean by pacified society is that the people cannot defend themselves in any way other than attempting to run away. You'll be lucky if the guardians of peace show up at all. They might show up 4 hours later to find your corpse in a pool of blood after getting stabbed by a scrote who ignores the laws and holds multiple stabbing devices.

So how would you defend yourself with a butter knife?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

This would explain all the cops stopping people coming out of cutlery stores...

Redneck Reject1971

In truth,your own personal safety relies on you.The response times from police is too long to assure your safety and well being. But you also have to accept the responsibility of protecting yourself in Ireland. There are far too many laws protecting the perpetrator than the victim.

In the end,it is the old saying.Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

Buford T. Justice XIX

Ohio9 wrote: »

Self defence. Scumbags everywhere in Dublin. It's just hilarious that even a kitchen knife would get you arrested and sent to court for possessing an offensive weapon. Nevermind about a combat knife.

The butter knife would be handy alright, I suppose, if he threatens you with a pound of butter. He won't be expecting that.

I'm disappointed that in all my years in cities I was never threatened with a pound of butter:(

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

running away is always a very good option.

Well of course, but be sure to bring his butter with you and buy a loaf of bread on the way home as well.

Breakfast sorted as well:p

Esel

OP obviously does not know what a butter knife is.

I carry a soup fork.

Bobblehats

cnocbui

For the OP's benefit; This is a butter knife:



Only the lactose intolerant could claim it to be offensive

ohnonotgmail

cnocbui wrote: »

For the OP's benefit; This is a butter knife:



Only the lactose intolerant could claim it to be offensive

thats not a knife, this is a knife

alchemist33

Ohio9 wrote: »

What if they run faster than you? The scrotes often attack women.

If I can run faster than that woman, I'll be grand

cnocbui

I'll have the Guards round. Looks nasty.

Ohio9

Ohio9 wrote: »

See what happens if An Garda Siochona randomly stops you with a butter knife in your pocket.

Cops have an ego. At least you would be in a good position to butter them up

They might stick in the loaf.

Ohio9 wrote: »

What I mean by pacified society is that the people cannot defend themselves in any way other than attempting to run away.

I have over a decade in various forms of combat training. In any situation of the sort I would be using all of it - to run away. Unless there is a damn good reason to stay in the fight - getting the hell out and away is pretty much goal 1.

As for a knife - strangely I would prefer to be attacked with one than by someone unarmed. The average person who does not know what to do with a knife is a hell of a lot more predictable in a fight than someone unarmed.

Ohio9 wrote: »

What if they run faster than you? The scrotes often attack women.

I run a 4:15 average over 15km. If a knife wielding druggie can catch me at a sprint - he deserves to go for a kill shot attempt.

Deleted User wrote: »

Just carry the ingredients of a few "hang sangwiches" in the other pocket.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYpSDNyVsFM

Buford T. Justice VI wrote: »

I'm disappointed that in all my years in cities I was never threatened with a pound of butter:(

So every time you are mugged do you shout "Damn - I cant believe its not butter!"

ohnonotgmail

Deleted User wrote: »

Cops have an ego. At least you would be in a good position to butter them up

They might stick in the loaf.



I have over a decade in various forms of combat training. In any situation of the sort I would be using all of it - to run away. Unless there is a damn good reason to stay in the fight - getting the hell out and away is pretty much goal 1.

As for a knife - strangely I would prefer to be attacked with one than by someone unarmed. The average person who does not know what to do with a knife is a hell of a lot more predictable in a fight than someone unarmed.



I run a 4:15 average over 15km. If a knife wielding druggie can catch me at a sprint - he deserves to go for a kill shot attempt.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYpSDNyVsFM



So every time you are mugged do you shout "Damn - I cant believe its not butter!"

of course if a bloke did try to attack you with a pound of butter you could reply with "how dairy"

ohnonotgmail

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

of course if a bloke did try to attack you with a pound of butter you could reply with "how dairy"

If I fight you for that joke - you know you are going to get creamed right?

ohnonotgmail

Deleted User wrote: »

If I fight you for that joke - you know you are going to get creamed right?

and i would milk it for sympathy afterwards

ohnonotgmail

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

and i would milk it for sympathy afterwards

Dammit I have run out of dairy jokes. You whipped me.

ohnonotgmail

Deleted User wrote: »

Dammit I have run out of dairy jokes. You whipped me.

definitely stopping now. no pint continuing

ohnonotgmail

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

definitely stopping now. no pint continuing

I give up. You are the Elit(re).

L1011

Ohio9 wrote: »

Self defence. Scumbags everywhere in Dublin. It's just hilarious that even a kitchen knife would get you arrested and sent to court for possessing an offensive weapon. Nevermind about a combat knife.

Those carrying knifes have a far, far higher chance of serious injury or death when they do try "self defence"

Leg End Reject

Has anyone considered a fish fork?

owlbethere

How about a scissors? I have a cool fold up mini scissors for my hobby. I often put the scissors in my pocket folded up and go about my day and even go out walking.

bigroad

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Has anyone considered a fish fork?

Or even a fish.

Ohio9

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Cops have an ego. At least you would be in a good position to butter them up

They might stick in the loaf.



I have over a decade in various forms of combat training. In any situation of the sort I would be using all of it - to run away. Unless there is a damn good reason to stay in the fight - getting the hell out and away is pretty much goal 1.

As for a knife - strangely I would prefer to be attacked with one than by someone unarmed. The average person who does not know what to do with a knife is a hell of a lot more predictable in a fight than someone unarmed.



I run a 4:15 average over 15km. If a knife wielding druggie can catch me at a sprint - he deserves to go for a kill shot attempt.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYpSDNyVsFM



So every time you are mugged do you shout "Damn - I cant believe its not butter!"

"I can run faster than majority of the population so **** them" shows your IQ.