Got assaulted by the lodger in the house

Kangaroolala

I am kind of depressed after what happened to me. I called the Dundrum Garda station on Saturday morning,15th February 2020, told them the whole thing, waited for a whole day yesterday, called them 5 times, still no one came to help. Around 9 pm the call center told me to walk to the Garda station to report instead, as they are too busy.

I am a sole lease holder for the current house I have been renting for almost two years, and recently renew the lease for the third year. In January 2020, I sublet the single room in my house to an unknown woman who reached me from Daft.ie. I was very busy around the time so got careless when asking references to assure the person who is coming to live in the house is clean and mentally stable. At least I should get a proof of identification. But I didn’t. I don’t even know her real full name. All I know that she is a middle aged woman who smokes all the time with a dirty mouth.

Long story short, since her move-in, things starts to get awkward. She complained about almost everything, the heat, water, bed, toilet, kitchen... She saw a small patch of stain on the ceiling of bathroom, then she took a photo of it and then threatened me she already report that to the RTB for the house safety. She was not happy with the bed and mattress, then she sent me those links of luxurious mattress which cost round €500, and asked me to buy it for her... I know it sounds insane, but that is what I am suffering exactly. I told her I cannot afford to get those for her and I do not have obligations either.

I only charge her single room rent for €490 per month by the way. Decent room with big walk-in wardrobe, table, chair, book shelf, big window with view to a quiet street. And she request the room to be a hotel standard.

After that, her anti-social aggressiveness started! She would slam the door very loudly all the time including midnight so as to Annoy me. She smashes everything she can in the kitchen, yeah she broke my favourite bowl my bf bought for me. She also let the shower in the bath tap fully on just to let the hot water run out so I cannot shower. Last Friday morning, she locked herself in the bathroom from 7:30am to 8:30am. I know the exact time because I got up at 7:30am and ran to the bathroom and she was in there, singing. I waited for her until 8am, couldn’t wait any longer so I didn’t shower and brushed teeth in the kitchen. When I was leaving for work at 8:30am, she was still in the bathroom, I really need to pet so knocked on door and asked if she finished: “ no, I am not letting you using the toilet.” I was so frustrated with anger and regret and left for work, got late.

You must wonder why I didn’t ask her to move out. Yes I did, I drafted termination notice in the middle of Jan 2020, informed her of evicting herself from my house before 1st of February, deposit will be refunded on the said date when I got back all keys to the house. She refuse to leave and yelling at me for having no rights to remove her.

So she is still living like a queen in the house.On Friday night I left the second termination notice in front of her door. I can’t live this anymore. She had to move out or I will be traumatised. On next day morning, which is this Saturday morning. While I was making my breakfast in the kitchen, she came in very angrily and started her monster performance: she yelled at me with her mouth, which is full of **** no doubt: F**k you “ I can do whatever the f**k I want to do here, f**k you x3...”.

I kept silent and tried to run away to get my phone upstairs to record it. She pushed me to the floor, it really hurts. I got up and ran upstairs to get my phone, only recorded a short one while I was confronting her Again. I got small bruise on both of my knees. In the video I recorded, she gave me very nasty and ugly victory smile as she knows that Dublin Garda won’t do much to her even she hurt me. She is a masculine Caucasian, and I am a petite Asian.

She threatened that she will never move out, she won’t pay utility bills, she will burn down the whole house if I insist in her moving out.

She smoke marijuana in her room sometimes. Which is extremely stinky.

What should I do? I will walk to the Garda station again today to report it. My eyes are full of tears while I am writing down what happened to me here.

I have the lease, and she was invited in by me by mistake in January. There is no any types of contract between me and her, verbally I told her before moving in, just give 1-2 weeks of notice before moving out, to see how we get along with each other. As she is a licensee, I can ask her to move out with reasonable notice right?

What happened to me is that she refuses to move out, and she will continue staying in the house no matter what happens. I mentioned to her before that the landlord might sell the house in winter, she just expressed that she will claim from the landlord then if she is asked to move out.

She also threatened me several times of bringing me to Small claim court, for asking her to move out. On the notice she had at least 2 weeks to move out. In the second termination notice she still has two weeks before 1st of March 2020. I followed the legal procedures here but what I am facing is a shameless scambag who wants to take advantage of innocent people.

She also said in her message that she will only start to look for place until she got her full deposit back, I asked for her bank account details and she refused to disclose, instead asked me to put cash in an envelope... Am I really that stupid to her?

Should I contact a solicitor to let her go or just change the front door lock on1st of March?

But she assaulted me both verbally and physically, she should be evicted in 24hours right? Why there is no protection for the main tenant at all? Why those evil people can get away with what they have done?

Throw her out immediately, no need for termination letters or notices etc. She has no rights. Dump her out now.

You appear to think she has rights too as you are giving her termination letters, none of this is necessary she is entitled to nothing. She should have been shown the door weeks ago.

theteal

If she's a lodger, she has no rights. Change locks the next time she leaves the house. Dump her stuff out the front.

Kangaroolala

Hendrix Chubby Collie wrote: »

Throw her out immediately, no need for termination letters or notices etc. She has no rights. Dump her out now.

You appear to think she has rights too as you are giving her termination letters, none of this is necessary she is entitled to nothing. She should have been shown the door weeks ago.

Yeah I would like to know what to do. she is bigger than me and very violent too, I will get hurt again If I confront her. If Garda can come over and let her go, I would be so happy to refund her deposit at the presence of Garda.

stateofflux

Go to Guards immediately

They have a duty to act if someone threatens to burn down your house...that is a threat to life.

Do not leave station without a result, ramp up the drama if you have to. Fear for your life etc

Oh and bring someone with you as witness

You are beyond the point now of amicable settlements with licencees...this is a Criminal issue

Fol20

She sounds like a head case.It looks like you live there and you sublet to her. She has no rights and doesn’t fall under the remit of the rtb and due to the way she is carrying on, you can kick her out today.

I would recommend having your boyfriend around, take out her deposit in cash. Ensure you see her when her bedroom door is open and tell her your gone in a kind way and highlight to her, “I have your deposit ready in cash”. Do not allow her close her bedroom door as she could lock it and refuse to leave.

Wait for her to leave while ensuring her bedroom door is open and be done with it. I would also recommend changing the front door locks for peace of mind.

Piriz

Sounds horrendous.. go to Gardai and make a statement.. they can advise you and also might speak to her. Gather evidence to support your claims if any

Seth Brundle

The OP is leading the house and may not be able to change the locks!

Kangaroolala

theteal wrote: »

If she's a lodger, she has no rights. Change locks the next time she leaves the house. Dump her stuff out the front.

I texted her this yesterday: 29th of February 2020 is your last day in my house, I suggest you evict yourself from my house with all your belongs on that day. On the said date, return all key then I will refund the deposit after deducting all the outstanding bills. Any failure of doing above will lead to your losing of the deposit. On 1st of March 2020, I assume you that you will be gone, I will change the front door lock for security reason. And she replied the following:

I'm reporting you for theft today. What you took as deposit is not a deposit, It's a personal payment

jimmycrackcorm

Hendrix Chubby Collie wrote: »

Throw her out immediately, no need for termination letters or notices etc. She has no rights. Dump her out now.

You appear to think she has rights too as you are giving her termination letters, none of this is necessary she is entitled to nothing. She should have been shown the door weeks ago.

This! She doesn't have a lease. Your name is on the lease and they'res nothing she can do about it.

Just be prepared to change the locks.

nthclare

The deposit should cover the compensation of abuse and fear.

Dont give her anything, just leave her stuff outside and change the locks etc

You're probably an empathic nice person and youll find that hard, but sometimes in life we have to be tough and look after ourselves.

Fol20

Seth Brundle wrote: »

The OP is leading the house and may not be able to change the locks!

Your right. Since she doesn’t own it, she can ask the ll for permission to change the locks at the op cost.

spurious

She sounds well used to this carry on and will be on to the next unfortunate soon enough. Do as suggested above re dumping her out.

I can't see why the changing of locks should be an issue for the landlord as long as you provide them with keys. You would presumably have to change locks if your bag got robbed for example.

Fol20

nthclare wrote: »

The deposit should cover the compensation of abuse and fear.

Dont give her anything, just leave her stuff outside and change the locks etc

Do not do this!

This will create more confrontation and hassle for you and it sounds like you don’t want that and just want to be rid of her.

To keep the deposit, she needs to owe utility bills. Damage property etc. If she hasn’t done. This give it back to her. Even if she has damaged something, sometimes it’s easier to bite the bullet if your dealing with some people and just give back their deposit to keep the piece.

antoinolachtnai

You must be beside yourself with worry. You need help here. Do you have anybody, a friend, relative or work colleague? I would hate to think anyone I knew was going through this without help. You need to get someone who can come and remain in the house with you and give you a hand with this. You need help to sort this out as quickly as possible, preferably today.

Kangaroolala

stateofflux wrote: »

Go to Guards immediately

They have a duty to act if someone threatens to burn down your house...that is a threat to life.

Do not leave station without a result, ramp up the drama if you have to. Fear for your life etc

Oh and bring someone with you as witness

You are beyond the point now of amicable settlements with licencees...this is a Criminal issue

The fire alarm in the kitchen was on a while ago. And I ran down and saw her in the kitchen alone, pretended that she heard nothing. I am so scared, my whole body is trembling.

Fol20

Kangaroolala wrote: »

I texted her this yesterday: 29th of February 2020 is your last day in my house, I suggest you evict yourself from my house with all your belongs on that day. On the said date, return all key then I will refund the deposit after deducting all the outstanding bills. Any failure of doing above will lead to your losing of the deposit. On 1st of March 2020, I assume you that you will be gone, I will change the front door lock for security reason. And she replied the following:

I'm reporting you for theft today. What you took as deposit is not a deposit, It's a personal payment

Ignore whatever she is saying back. You are being too generous with her. With the way she is carrying on and the fact she doesn’t have rights in a licensee relationship, I would have no hesitation with getting rid of her today. If you are in fear of living in your own home, get rid of her today.

Caranica

Do not give her two weeks. 24 hours and gone. Do not stay in the house alone and do not leave her in the house alone. She is dangerous. Protect yourself and change the locks, your landlord would prefer new locks to a trashed house.

ForestFire

Fol20 wrote: »

Your right. Since she doesn’t own it, she can ask the ll for permission to change the locks at the op cost.

I would not be worried about the rights and wrongs of changing the locks where violence is involved as it is an urgent safety issue.

They can always keep the old lock barrels for the LL if he wants to change them back at a latter date, and supply the new keys to the LL.

What reasonable objection could the LL, especially with a garda report in place of the violence.

Kangaroolala

Fol20 wrote: »

She sounds like a head case.It looks like you live there and you sublet to her. She has no rights and doesn’t fall under the remit of the rtb and due to the way she is carrying on, you can kick her out today.

I would recommend having your boyfriend around, take out her deposit in cash. Ensure you see her when her bedroom door is open and tell her your gone in a kind way and highlight to her, “I have your deposit ready in cash”. Do not allow her close her bedroom door as she could lock it and refuse to leave.

Wait for her to leave while ensuring her bedroom door is open and be done with it. I would also recommend changing the front door locks for peace of mind.

She refuses to talk to me and won’t listen at all. I will go to ATM to get cash but I don’t know if she will open her door for me.

Professor Moriarty

Kangaroolala wrote: »

The fire alarm in the kitchen was on a while ago. And I ran down and saw her in the kitchen alone, pretended that she heard nothing. I am so scared, my whole body is trembling.

You are being psychologically traumatised. For your future mental health, you must take whatever immediate action is necessary to remove the threat that is causing you to shake with fear.

Caranica

Kangaroolala wrote: »

She refuses to talk to me and won’t listen at all. I will go to ATM to get cash but I don’t know if she will open her door for me.

Don't do that. She is likely to take the cash and lock her door. Kick her out and change the locks and arrange for your boyfriend to meet her with the balance of the deposit.

o1s1n

Kangaroolala wrote: »

She refuses to talk to me and won’t listen at all. I will go to ATM to get cash but I don’t know if she will open her door for me.

Be careful with cash! You could give it to her and she could literally say you didn't.

I wouldn't be handing this crazy person lumps of money at the moment at all, especially not if they assaulted you.

Do not just hand over the money. She'll just keep it and then claim you never returned her deposit.

Kangaroolala

spurious wrote: »

She sounds well used to this carry on and will be on to the next unfortunate soon enough. Do as suggested above re dumping her out.

I can't see why the changing of locks should be an issue for the landlord as long as you provide them with keys. You would presumably have to change locks if your bag got robbed for example.

The landlord said yes for changing the locks. But I cannot live with this crazy masculine woman who assaulted me until 1st of March. I can’t even focused on anything except being assaulted.

nthclare

Fol20 wrote: »

Do not do this!

This will create more confrontation and hassle for you and it sounds like you don’t want that and just want to be rid of her.

To keep the deposit, she needs to owe utility bills. Damage property etc. If she hasn’t done. This give it back to her. Even if she has damaged something, sometimes it’s easier to bite the bullet if your dealing with some people and just give back their deposit to keep the piece.

Are you her lodger lol

Caranica

Kangaroolala wrote: »

The landlord said yes for changing the locks. But I cannot live with this crazy masculine woman who assaulted me until 1st of March. I can’t even focused on anything except being assaulted.

Then kick her out today!

Kangaroolala

Fol20 wrote: »

Ignore whatever she is saying back. You are being too generous with her. With the way she is carrying on and the fact she doesn’t have rights in a licensee relationship, I would have no hesitation with getting rid of her today. If you are in fear of living in your own home, get rid of her today.

How can I ask her to go? She is back in her room now.

Das Reich

<Mod Snip>

TheChizler

Definitely don't give cash back if you can help it, if you must only do if you have an independent witness or she signs a receipt you keep a copy of. Electronic transfer is best.

As above don't keep anything beyond paying for bills or damage, otherwise she has legal recourse against you. You want her out of your life cleanly.

antoinolachtnai

TheChizler wrote: »

Definitely don't give cash back if you can help it, if you must only do if you have an independent witness or she signs a receipt you keep a copy of. Electronic transfer is best.

As above don't keep anything beyond paying for bills or damage, otherwise she has legal recourse against you. You want her out of your life cleanly.

Don’t wait any longer. You gave her notice months ago. You need to get this woman out. Don’t worry about the deposit for now. That can be sorted out later. Just get help and get her out.

Caranica

Kangaroolala wrote: »

How can I ask her to go? She is back in her room now.

Don't ask her. Wait for her to go out and change the locks. She assaulted you, that removes any requirement for reasonable notice. You should not have given her 2 weeks notice.

nthclare

<Mod Snip>

And the people on this thread who are more empathic with the crazy loon would be similar themselves as the crazy person you're living with.

I wouldn't listen to them, get this monster out as quick as possible.

Bubbaclaus

I dont understand why you keep giving her 2 weeks notice? That's just showing weakness and proving to her she can push you around.

Quandary

Kangaroolala wrote: »

How can I ask her to go? She is back in her room now.

Sounds like she will not leave so you have to be patient. She has to leave the house at some stage for work, food shopping, socialising etc... and then you will need to act fast. Take a sick day from work if you have to. Get the locks changed yourself as soon as she is out the door. After you have changed the locks contact your landlord and give him a key immediately. Let him know that you had no other option and you will be more than happy if he feels he needs to change the locks again himself. I'm currently a landlord myself and if my tenant had to do this then I would understand the situation.

Make sure your boyfriend or a friend is with you when all this takes place as you will need a witness in case anything explosive happens.

Best of luck with it, and you have learned a valuable lesson. In future vet your prospective house mates very carefully. It won't guarantee they aren't a lunatic but it will massively limit the possibility.


All the best, I hope it works out for you.

Graham

Mod Note

Das Reich please read the forum charter before posting in A & P again.

SNNUS

Hi there, please stop with the notice, she is completely controlling you and taking advantage of your good nature.

Due to assault, change locks now and remove her stuff. Have your bf there who should really be giving you this advice anyway and away she goes to be someone else's misery.

If deposit needs to be returned, the bf can give it to her at a different location .

Job done.

Kangaroolala

Bubbaclaus wrote: »

I dont understand why you keep giving her 2 weeks notice? That's just showing weakness and proving to her she can push you around.

I know I have been too weak. I have been caught up in my job for the busy season now I do have a bit of time to fight for justice.

Fol20

ForestFire wrote: »

I would not be worried about the rights and wrongs of changing the locks where violence is involved as it is an urgent safety issue.

They can always keep the old lock barrels for the LL if he wants to change them back at a latter date, and supply the new keys to the LL.

What reasonable objection could the LL, especially with a garda report in place of the violence.

Two wrongs dont make a right. I mentioned changing locks as well for safety reasons.

All the OP has to do, is ask for permission from the LL to change longs and advise the ll that the OP will pay for it and give the ll a spare key. The ll owns the property so he has the right to call the shots on this but since the ll is not paying for it, most would be ok with this.

Caranica

The OP has already posted that the LL is okay with the locks being changed.

Fol20

Kangaroolala wrote: »

She refuses to talk to me and won’t listen at all. I will go to ATM to get cash but I don’t know if she will open her door for me.

Ensure you have your boyfriend at a minimum and a few more people if possible. Does she stay in her room the entire time or does she also need to step out to go to the toilet,cook etc?

You need a physical presence to stop this person from getting physical with you. Im personally a big guy so most wouldnt try anything on me but if you are afraid of this person, i would for sure recommend having backup.

Fol20

Deleted User wrote: »

Do not just hand over the money. She'll just keep it and then claim you never returned her deposit.

You dont hand over the money until all of her stuff and her are outside the property.

In my setup, you have physical support that can step in if required, you block her from locking herself in, if she refuses, continue to ensure no doors will be locked and advise her her stuff will be removed from the property if she doesnt leave today. Having the cash is an incentive for her to go quietly(she wont) and for you to put this behind you today.

There is no way this will finish amicably i suspect but its the best of a bad situation.

Fol20

nthclare wrote: »

Are you her lodger lol

Nope, im just familiar with deposit retention etc and in this case, its a social thing where it creates more hassle than it is worth to keep a deposit especially if it isnt warranted.

Fol20

Kangaroolala wrote: »

How can I ask her to go? She is back in her room now.

In the past if you knock on her bedroom door, does she ignore you or open it? - if she opens it, that is your opening.

If its the former, how long does she typically stay in her bedroom before going downstairs etc - wait with your friends when she opens the door and go quick.

Does she lock her bedroom when she is in it? - If not, just knock once and walk in.

If push comes to shove, and you are getting nowhere, you could call the police for tresspassing but im not sure how well that will work. i would use this as a last resort.

She will not go quietly so thats why you need support and witnesses for this.

Fol20

Kangaroolala wrote: »

I know I have been too weak. I have been caught up in my job for the busy season now I do have a bit of time to fight for justice.

I think you are just being kind with this person(even though you dont need to be) and the fact this person has been physical with you has you taken by surprise so dont worry about it, you will learn from this so thats the most important thing.

Cody montana

Do you have friends that could help you?

YFlyer

Can the landlord insist for the lodger to leave?

Fol20

YFlyer wrote: »

Can the landlord insist for the lodger to leave?

No, if the ll insists, then the dynamic can change as then the problematic tenant could dispute it does fall under the realm of the RTB as the tenant wouldnt be a licensee anymore.

antix80

Kangaroolala wrote: »

Yeah I would like to know what to do. she is bigger than me and very violent too, I will get hurt again If I confront her. If Garda can come over and let her go, I would be so happy to refund her deposit at the presence of Garda.

This is the solution.
Hopefully they'll threaten to arrest her if she refuses to leave.

Arrival

Does the landlord know about you subletting the room, as in is it allowable in your lease? If it is, have you talked to them about the situation you're in? They'd surely be able to help in some way, even if it's just to setup a locksmith to come and change the keys during the day. You could literally get all her **** while she's out and throw it out the door while the locksmith is changing the keys

Kangaroolala

It is me who let her live in here, so the landlord is not involved.